timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ She loops her arms around his middle and he relaxes some more, tension leaking out of his limbs. It seems like she does the same thing, her breathing coming in slower, calmer.

Relatively back to normal. ]

Maybe. [ His tone is amused though, even if he knows she's right. Hadn't he told her as much recently? That she was usually right? ]

It wasn't so bad. [ You know, before she locked up. He's glad she's got her face tucked towards his chest because he can feel a little flush work its way onto his cheeks. ]

[ it’s really in kaz shifting the conversation from what he thinks he did wrong to being his usual infuriating self that causes the last vestiges of panic to leave her. and a soft laugh escapes at it wasn’t so bad. ]

It was nice.

[ she murmurs before drawing in a deep breath and gently pulling away just enough to unloop her arms, rubbing her face quickly. she hadn’t felt tears or the urge to cry, but just in case, she instinctively runs her hands over her face before dropping them into her lap with a sigh. ]

We’ll just try again another time.

[ until she figures out what parts she needs to heal from and what parts she can continue to bury. the specific memory that had been triggered wasn’t a pleasant one, but now that she knows what sets her off, she can continue to work on what can be avoided versus what can be fixed.

it’s that thought that causes inej to try for a small smile, slightly teasing, in a weak joke: ]

I think I’ll take off the shirt next time.

[ maybe that would help. ]

[ He smiles when she lets out the laugh, feeling like whatever tension he had left finally dissipates. There's no edge to her laughter, it's just happiness, amusement. ]

There'll be more chances. [ Which he knows. Knew. Which both of them had sort of acknowledged, getting into this whole relationship. It's just strange to say aloud, almost like it's creating a permanence.

That doesn't scare him as much as it had before, when he'd been rejecting the idea that he might see Inej as more than her persona of the Wraith. ]

Mine or yours? [ He teases back, raising an eyebrow. ]

[ indeed, it does feel permanent, and that brings a proper smile to her features. she isn’t really sure what to call this relationship... “boyfriend” seems so ridiculously juvenile and simplistic for how much he means to her. but whatever it is, it’s a fixture in her life. even with the difficulties, and the slow path.

his question, though, prompts some measure of thought before she reaches out to fiddle with his shirt. ]

I might be too short to take off your shirt unless we’re already in bed.

[ it’s a logistical problem. ]

So I may just have to remove my own, for now.

[ Her fingers fiddle with his shirt and he carefully curls his hand around hers. A touch that's been deemed relatively safe before and will hopefully be alright now. ]

If you wanted, I could take it off for you. [ And that makes him blush a little. He's stripped off in front of her before, to get changed for bed. But doing it in a less temporary context is... well, it's a lot.

There's also the immediate image her words paint and he has to stop himself from imagining anything too hard. He's never been one to stare at her chest but it's not like he hasn't noticed the shape. ]

[ she grins a little, at the offer, and squeezes his fingers. the blushing is cute—mostly because Kaz being nervous or shy is funny in comparison to how everyone else in the known universe sees him. and inej leans forward to gently kiss his cheek, amused. ]

Maybe another day. I want to take a hot shower.

[ though she’s going to hold him to that. ]

Can we get breakfast?

[ He swallows down the blush the tries to spread as she kisses his cheek– he likes the gentle touch but sometimes it's a bit much. Emotionally. There are some parts of him that still isn't used to the softness. It goes against everything he'd taught himself. ]

Sure. Anything you want in particular? [ Otherwise, it might be nice to pick a place as they go. Maybe something on the way to that book shop. ]

No, we can find something as we go.

[ easily enough, as she scoots herself to the edge of the bed, getting up to get ready to go take a shower. but this time, inej moves to her bag first, to collect her clothes before she goes into the bathroom.

best not test her luck anymore today.

but she offers him a smile, as she straightens, folding her arms over her chest to hold her clothes close. ]

I won't be long.

[ long enough to shower and make sure she has a grip, at any rate. ]

[ They both shower and dress with no complications, playing it safe just in case. This morning had proven to be progress though, something to be glad for. It was to be expected, after all. They weren't going to clear all the hurdles at once, even if they wished they could.

On the way to the bookshop, they find breakfast at a place that makes small quiches and sit outside, watching a different crowd of people go by—it's located closer to the harbor. So it's sailors, merchants, and travelers, all a little more rowdy than the blini place. Still, the coffee is good, breakfast is delicious, and it's amusing to pick out the occasional word or two from the foul mouthed sailors. Living near the harbor has taught him at least a handful of Ravkan swear words.

Fine additions to any vocabulary.

The rest of the walk to the shop is pleasant, as is the shop itself. There's only one flaw: the keeper isn't an old man or woman who has started to smell like the books. Instead, it's a young man with bright green eyes and sandy blonde hair. He greets them both with enthusiasm, though he seems to be a bit shy with Inej, his greeting somewhat muted.

It's not until he's picking up a book on Kerch ship building that it falls into place; the small glanced over, the attempts to start a conversation. Annoyed, he presses his mouth in a thin line, glancing first to be sure they're out of earshot and then over to Inej. ]

He's flirting with you. [ And as much as he might try not to, he definitely sounds aggravated. ]

[ inej's spirits lift almost instantly, as they move into the port and make their way to the bookshop. breakfast was full of laughter, mostly at kaz asking specific questions about what people are saying, and inej steadfastly refusing to translate certain words into kerch for him.

that alone had been enough confirmation that they were curses, and kaz added them to his vocabulary almost immediately, despite her best efforts to not encourage him.

her spirits lifted even further when they entered the bookshop and were greeted by someone who was assuredly not old as dirt. he was sweet, and kind, and inej had seen immediately that he found her pretty. it was only confirmed in the communications in ravkan, subtle asks about what plans she had for the evening.

truthfully, inej didn't think much of it. but when she wanders back over to kaz, and he says that, she arches her eyebrows before glancing toward the shopkeep, who offers a slight little wave.

inej returns the little wave with a polite smile before turning back to kaz, looking suitably unimpressed with (1) the observation and (2) his aggravation, her tone dry as she shifts to speaking in kerch, her voice low enough so that the shopkeep can't hear (not that he could understand them even if he did). ]

Hadn't noticed.

[ what would she do without kaz's unparalleled intellect and insight. ]

[ Of course she'd noticed. She's the wraith—not much gets past her to begin with. And certainly not something that seems even obvious to a person who doesn't speak the same language. This does have him frowning a bit more. Frowning, not pouting.

Definitely not pouting. ]

Are you encouraging him? [ If he sounds scandalized, it's because he is.

Not that Inej doesn't deserve to be told she's beautiful and radiant by every person in existence. Just. It rankles coming from this pretty boy. ]

[ oh, the frown is deepning, and inej's expression is edging into incredulity, her arms crossing loosely over her chest as she looks up at him, eyebrows arching further upward.

some part of her should probably be annoyed. inej can have anyone flirt with her as she pleases, thank you very much. but the overwhelming feeling that seems to have taken hold is hilarity, because it very much appears that kaz brekker is jealous of some nameless ravkan boy in a bookshop who asked inej for dinner.

she supposes she could tell kaz all of that, but instead: ]

We're getting married next week.

[ blithely. ]

Did you not get the invitation?

[ She's joking, naturally, though he's failing to see what about this is funny. This Ravkan boy doesn't know her at all, probably hasn't even gotten her name. And here he is, flirting.

There's also the matter of him being in the same room as the shopkeep attempts to make a pass and that just won't stand.

(Because of course he fails to see how they could be mistaken as only friends and not anything else). ]

Don't be ridiculous. [ Says the man being ridiculous. ]

[ inej has gotten pretty good at telling when kaz is upset, but will get over it, and upset, and determined to stay that way. initially, she had thought it was the former, but as he's clearly still sour after her obvious joke, she's beginning to fear it's the latter.

so she opens her mouth, but pauses, scanning kaz's features once more. saints, he's actually upset by this. and for a tenuous moment, it almost looks like inej is going to hum in agreement and understand his frustration and irritation

. . . but no, he's still being a moron regardless of whether he's upset or not. ]

Because if you did lose the invitation, I could have another one sent.

[ mildly, as she takes the book on kerch ship building that kaz had picked up, to add it to the pile that they're surely going to buy. ]

It may not make it in time, though, so I guess you're just going to have to ride with me to the ceremony.

[ There's a part of him that recognizes he shouldn't be so upset. Who is this guy anyway? A random stranger with a good looking face. Relatively harmless as well, if he's read him right.

That doesn't stop the flare of annoyance that goes through him at the mere idea that he's looking in Inej's direction. ]

I hope he's been nice. [ And he somehow manages to say that in the most scathing way possible. As with most things Kaz, there's also a veiled threat—should the shopkeep not be on his absolute best behavior.

Then again, he's tempted to threaten him now for even looking. Except this is Ravka and he doesn't know the language well enough to come across as properly terrifying. Also maybe he shouldn't waste his effort on a guy selling antique books. ]

[ she rolls her eyes to the ceiling at the comment, asking a silent prayer to the saints for patience and love. because kaz brekker is seemingly determined to test her nerve, today. ]

You are being ridiculous.

[ informatively. as if he didn't know that. and she considers leaving at that, before she adds: ]

Jealous of a shopkeeper's son.

[ HONESTLY. ]

He's said nothing inappropriate. [ as indicated by the fact that his hands are still attached to his body. ] He said hello, and asked if I wanted a guide this evening to tour the city. And my taste in books.

[ How is he being ridiculous? Kaz pouts (definitely pouts) at this, brow furrowing. She said it so matter of fact, too. ]

I'm not jealous. [ Being wary of strange men making passes at Inej is not jealousy. It's... well, it's protective, right? He glances towards the blonde, expression still dark, and properly gets a look at him. Something about him is reminiscent of Wylan; all fine bones and a sort of aristocratic nose. Easily breakable.

Some of his severity lightens, at least, when Inej explains how the conversation went. Nothing inappropriate—which, he now begins to feel the initial tugs of sheepishness—he should've known. Inej wouldn't have stood for any nonsense. ]

And? [ Is he asking for whether there was more or her elaboration on her answers? Someone is cranky and needs a nap. ]

I told him I would meet him at the hotel at seven for dinner, what do you think?

[ with a huff of exasperation -- not annoyed, really, but incredulous that he's making such a big deal out of quite literally nothing.

however, by now, the shopkeeper has noticed that they're talking (probably) about him, given kaz's glaring and inej's tone, and the shopkeeper asks is everything alright? in ravkan, which catches inej's attention. and she glances over, waving a hand dismissively, and responds (in ravkan): ]

Nothing is wrong, I am dating an idiot.

[ and once that is done, without bothering to see the shopkeeper's reaction, inej turns back to kaz, and switches to kerch, unimpressed: ]

I told him I am already claimed.

[ -- okay, so that came out a little flat, but he really is being a moron!!! ]

[ He opens his mouth to retort and then closes it, saying nothing. Her incredulity is enough to make him think that maybe, just maybe, he's making this out to be more than it is. After all, it's not like Inej would actually invite some random person over.

More importantly: she wouldn't have gone on this trip with him to begin with. Nor shared a bed or any of the information about the slavers.

For fuck's sake, Brekker, he thinks to himself. She'd silently asked him to hold her just this morning. Why was he folding himself into knots over this? ]

...did you call me something rude. [ He asks, after blowing out a sigh. ]

No.

[ evenly, turning toward the counter. she neatly stacks the books they're going to buy in front of the (now sheepish and nervous) shopkeeper. she's not properly annoyed . . . or, well, maybe she is.

though, while she waits for the total to be tabulated, she adds: ]

I called you an idiot. Which isn't rude, but the truth.

[ and for the shopkeep's benefit, because kaz was so fixated on their conversation earlier, inej switches to ravkan: ]

My companion can't understand a word you're saying, so feel free to be honest. He is half as smart as he looks.

[ the shopkeeper wisely elects to remain silent, instead just putting the books into a canvas bag with a sheepish smile. ]

[ Ah. She's annoyed.

It serves him right, for being such a bitch about the whole thing. After all, he could've just asked what was said to start with, instead of getting bent out of shape. He has residual aggravation leftover though, so he scowls when she says she called him an idiot.

That's definitely rude!!!

The scowl lightens into a frown at least, while the books are rung up. Kaz pays the tab without any further bad manners, especially since the shopkeep seems penitent for his crimes. He might be a little relieved as they make their way back out onto the street. ]

I'm not an idiot. [ He says finally, verging on petulant. ]

[ she offers the shopkeeper an apology in ravkan and a slight bow of her head on the way out. and honestly, being out on the street does feel much better. it's more open, and inej is about to suggest that they just go find something to eat when kaz picks a particular hill to die on.

it's honestly not very often that inej ghafa is annoyed. she prefers to move through life without such feelings, and there's not really much worth being mad over that can't be meditated on and forgotten about the next day.

unfortunately for kaz brekker, the one person that seems to routinely be able to make her annoyed is . . . well, kaz brekker. ]

This is the part where you apologize.

[ a bit flatly, as she crosses her arms over her chest, looking up at him. and, just in case he thought she was going to apologize for calling him an idiot, she adds: ]

For being an idiot.

[ HONESTLY. ]

[ Thankfully—for both of them—the one person he's gotten attuned to over the years is Inej. Normally, it's quite easy to read her expression and get an idea of what she's thinking. It's made for a great partnership on all of their schemes, both of them able to convey something complex in a single look.

The other thing to be glad for is that despite his nearly astounding ability to be the most stubborn person to walk this earth, he's...gotten better. At knowing when he probably shouldn't push or snap back.

So he takes one good look at Inej once they've stepped out of the shop and sees nothing but warning signs. He bites his tongue on whatever smart remark he'd been tempted to say. Too many times in the past he's just let the words come, disregarding the fact that she had been annoyed or angry. That had also been the time he'd been desperately trying to convince himself he didn't have feelings for her, which had turned out to be the biggest lie he's ever told.

The smart remark is swallowed and he takes a second to sigh out the aggravation he'd (unfairly) held towards the shopkeeper. Once he lets it go, he returns to the thought of Inej being able to handle herself, which she clearly has done on almost every occasion, and feels the chagrin set in. ]

Sorry, I— [ He what, was looking out for her? All the good that did here. That mutes his defensiveness some more and he ends up repeating himself. ] Sorry.

[ it's clear that inej is gearing up for a fight. she already has the argument laid out in her head. how many times has she gotten herself out of bad situations without anyone else's help. how many times had she defended herself without relying on anyone else. she had refused food in order to slip out of her own shackles, to fit through an air vent, to escape van eck. a shopkeeper who thought she was cute was nothing in comparison to everything she had done, on her own.

but then kaz surprises her, and . . . apologizes. and it's not graceful, and inej can tell he bit something back. swallowed down some line of defense that probably would have infuriated her more. but all the same, the apology does wonders in mollifying her frustration, and the tension eases out of her shoulders almost immediately.

she's not alone, though, here. and she honestly hadn't thought to include kaz in the conversation because it was harmless. and it's still harmless, but no one knows kaz better than inej. and inej probably should have foreseen him being annoyed. or, at minimum, frustrated. especially because he doesn't know the language.

not that that excuses his possessive stupidity, but it does cause her to step forward and reach up to take his face in her hands, narrowing her eyes. ]

I am here with you.

[ evenly. ]

Because I want to be. And because there is no one else that I would rather be here with.

[ and she shakes his head, just a little. to make him pay attention, and also to maybe knock some sense into him. ]

And because I expect you to know that I would remove someone's hands if they disrespected me. Shevrati.

[ and she lets go on the suli word, exasperated. ]

For someone so brilliant, you are so unobservant that I still have no idea how you are alive. I was looking at no one else but you.

[ The tension goes out of her shoulders but he doesn't quite feel relieved. It could be that he's unused to apologizing, the bitten back words still sitting on his tongue. The part of him that's grown up in the Barrel wants to let them go. Apologizing is weakness and the streets didn't care if you said you were sorry. It made you pay for it in blood instead.

Inej is asking for none of those things. And she deserves something that isn't half-assed or just him being defensive about his stupid decisions.

Some of his tension does lift when she puts her hands on his face, her touch immediately welcome. Her words simply reinforce what he'd thought in the aftermath, sticking like nettles. But he knows she's right—he'd admitted as much to himself. So he unclenches his jaw and forces the remaining annoyance down, settling on a few key words.

One being that she definitely would've done something if the shopkeep had gotten fresh. And the other: ] As I recall, there's been a certain wraith clipped to my shadow. That might have something to do with it.

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