timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ it’s been a difficult journey, to trust and vulnerability. but the rewards have been worth it, not just in being able to enjoy physical intimacy, but in confidence. in love, and trust, and appreciation of her own body.

so she exhales, at the feeling of his mouth and hands, a slow grin appearing as she relishes the feeling. ]

I’ve missed you.

[ she murmurs for the second time that day, combing her fingers through his hair. not really doing much in terms of movement or reciprocation yet. just soaking up the feeling, and the thrum of energy and anticipation working it’s way through her chest, pooling in her stomach. ]

[ Getting to this point hasn't been easy. The memories of either one of them having a violently ill reaction are still fresh and some days the queasiness still climbs up his throat. Those times are getting fewer and far between, seemingly triggered by less and less. Inej is making similar progress and he's careful about certain touches, especially if he's behind her.

But the fact is, a couple years ago they couldn't have even gotten this far. Not with her shirt off and with so little hesitation. ]

I missed you too. [ He says, glancing up at her before placing a single chaste kiss to her breastbone. Sleeping without her nearby had been difficult. And he'd missed all the little things throughout the day; her quiet laugh, the sassy remarks, her legs draped across his lap. A part of him had also missed this, having woken up from dreams the imitated more than a few memories, leaving him wanting someone hundreds of miles away. ]

Help me get these off. [ He tugs at the waistband of her pants once he sits back on his heels. ]

[ the word lazy is on the tip of her tongue, at the tug to her pants. surely he’s capable of removing them himself. but they are on a time limit, so inej supposes she should probably be a team player, as loathe as she is to rush anything.

so she unbuttons her pants and lifts her hips, sliding them down part way before using her legs to sort of shimmy them the rest of the way off. or mostly, because: ]

You are between my legs.

[ amused; he’s sort of in the way of finishing the job. ]

[ She takes care of the trickier part of getting them over her hips, at least. He does move out of the way momentarily, taking over where she stopped, dragging them down her legs and off. Much like her shirt, they're dumped over the side of the bed—they'll come back to that later.

To balance things out a little, he tugs his shirttails out and unbuttons it, shrugging the garment off. It lands somewhere on the floor, he isn't paying much attention. Because there are much more interesting things to focus on, like kissing a line up the inside of her thigh. And finally touching between her legs, his fingers lightly stroking up. ]

That's the general idea. [ To answer her earlier snark. This time, though, he does the work to tug her underwear off, easily lifting her hips up. Once they're off, he keeps her hips lifted a bit as he leans in, giving her entrance a slow lick. ]

[ she used to be so terrified of being like this, vulnerable and exposed. now, Inej just sort of watches him as he shrugs out of his shirt, almost about to make another affectionate comment before kaz decides to open his mouth.

it does cause a laugh to rise, as he kisses her thigh and then moves between her legs properly. the tail end of the laugh ends in a shaky breath, as she shifts her legs a bit to give him a little more room. and maybe roll her hips a little bit closer.

she thinks they have about thirty five minutes left before the food burns, though inej has already resigned herself to having to make eggs for dinner, knowing that the chicken is going to be a lost cause. ]

[ Her hips push closer and that's all the incentive he needs to keep going. It's the silent answer that yes, she's fine, she isn't going to disappear in the current moment. He affectionately slides his one hand down her leg to her knee and back up again, thumb digging in just a bit.

Most of his attention goes towards getting her off. Or at least putting her close to the edge, as a tease. Another lick follows the first, this one less of a test, and then another, tasting her from bottom to top. A groan gets muffled in his throat as he goes to suck her clit, feeling his trousers getting distinctly more uncomfortable.

(He'd wanted to do this when she got back in, but someone had been impatient). ]

[ Inej’s first thought after being away for so long really hadn’t been to drag him straight to bed. she had just been desperate to see him, and touch him, and hold him. but one thing had led to another and inej, honestly, isn’t even sure they had fully taken each other’s clothes off before they had finished.

once that was done, then they could catch up. properly. and she had been told (somewhat petulantly) that she had been impatient. she told him that she hadn’t heard an ounce of complaining, and that had been the end of that.

she’s fairly certain she’s paying for her impatience now, a breathy gasp escaping involuntarily as kaz decides that he’s apparently finished with being coy, her fingers curling into the strewn comforter of their bed before she manages: ]

Impatient—

[ — as her head presses back into the bed, breath catching. she’s usually not loud, in very much in life, but he’s threatening her to break her number one rule of keeping quiet if he keeps acting like that. ]

[ Really, he hadn't been complaining all that much when she'd first gotten back in. At the very least, getting dragged to bed had taken the edge off for them both, months of loneliness boiling over.

That hadn't stopped him from gently griping about not being able to eat her out. Because who is he if not a little greedy? It's difficult not to be in this instance, as he hears her breath catch. He flicks his gaze up, enjoying the sight of her head tilted back, the way her body's curved. And maybe he gets a kick from hearing her reactions. She's quiet everywhere else, after all.

One hand goes to blindly undo the front of his pants, sighing out against her at the bit of relief. He alternates between licking and sucking before adding his fingers to the mix, lightly rubbing her clit as he slides his tongue between her folds. ]

[ she doesn’t want to come soon, but it also cannot come fast enough. the addition of his fingers causes a hissed exhale, reluctant to allow anything close to a moan escape. why, inej has no idea. probably because the one time she had allowed such a thing to escape, she hadn’t been able to escape Kaz brekker’s arrogant smugness for at least a week.

but it’s quickly becoming a losing battle. her back arches just enough to roll her hips against his tongue, and instead of sheets, Inej’s fingers have found his hair. giving just enough of a tug to indicate that if he stops, she is going to be furious.

or, at minimum, his tongue had better be replaced with something else. ]

[ She is, perhaps, lucky that he's concentrating enough not to remark on the quiet hiss. Now she's wet enough that every swipe of his tongue comes away slightly slicker than the last, which only adds to the tension curling at the base of his spine.

When her fingers tug, he exhales a moan, mouth pressed close enough for her to feel it. Of course, he takes the hint, two of his fingers carefully sliding into her. He licks around his fingers as he pulls them out and pushes them back in, slowly continuing the pattern. His thumb traces along the outside and he goes to suck on her none too gently, clearly trying to get her to come. ]

[ inej can't really remember when kaz decided that he enjoyed doing this, but she knows it was a quick transition from figuring out what to do to deciding that this was something that he absolutely needed to do. she's not really sure why.

she has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with her reaction.

her back arches abruptly, at the feeling of his fingers, and inej exhales slowly. trying to control her breathing, to make it last a little longer, but her breathing escalates, becoming shallower. clear indications that she's closer.

she can feel the somewhat uncomfortable pressure building in her stomach, as her breathing gets quicker -- and suddenly, there's a tipping of the scales, a tumbling over the edge as she gasps -- rough, and ragged, and very unlike her, thank you very much, her fingers suddenly tightening into his hair as she rides through it.

no moaning. thank you very much. but pretty close, given she feels a little dazed. ]

[ It has mostly to do with her reaction. Like this, she's a little less controlled, hips pushing into the feeling and breath bitching as she gets closer. It sends a frisson of heat through him whenever she gasps, when her back arches, when her fingers curl tighter in their grip.

She lets out a slow breath and he knows it's her trying to stave off the inevitable. He keeps applying pressure, fingers rocking in at a curve. Soon enough, she's coming, muscles going taut and fluttering around his knuckles. Her sharp gasp is answered with a soft sigh and he carefully pulls his fingers out before giving her one last lick. Tilting his head, he presses his cheek to her thigh, letting her calm down. ]

[ there's a long, slow exhalation as she allows her body to relax. she can feel his cheek against her thigh, and her muscles twitch involuntarily at the contact.

it's her favorite part, really, of coming down from this particular high. there's a rush of adrenaline, elation, and then satisfaction.

soon, her breathing is under control (slow, even, purposeful), and she uncurls her fingers from his hair, relaxing totally into the mattress.

content, and comfortable. ]

[ She looks good coming down from the high—not that she ever looks bad, really. Her cheeks take on a particular flush and the unintended tension she holds slowly releases, leaving her totally relaxed. Idly, he smoothes his hand up and back down her leg, a soothing gesture.

When she finally lets him go, he carefully sits up and unfolds himself, sighing as he stretches out his bad leg. He sits next to her, reaching over to brush some of the hair sticking to her cheek away. ]

[ she opens an eye when she feels him settle next to her, her lips twitching upward as he brushes the hair off of her cheek. and, soon, she pushes herself up to sitting, leaning forward to slowly press her lips against his neck. ]

A little unfair.

[ she murmurs, pressing her lips to his neck again. she sounds a little dazed, still, but is at least kissing him with earnest. ]

Now what am I going to do with you?

Never said I'd play fair.

[ Besides, definitely worth it. Especially now to see her so loose limbed and a bit dazed. It's similar to how she is when she gets up sometimes—though he rarely catches her first getting up, since she usually wakes before he does. ]

Whatever you want. [ Carte blanche, as usual. He trusts he'll enjoy whatever it is. ]

[ she breathes a small laugh into his neck before she adjusts her legs, effortlessly moving to straddle his hips neatly. and she presses her lips against his jaw, the movement lazy as she lowers her hands to the waistband of his pants, undoing them a bit more. ]

Whatever I want?

[ she sounds amused, as she kisses his jaw again, resting on her knees. not quite resting on his lap, her knees against his hips. ]

I don’t think we have time for that.

[ He smiles a bit when she laughs, letting the soft sound wash over him. And then his eyebrows are going up in interest as she straddles him, pressing in for another kiss. Her hands drop and he doesn't quite catch the movement, only feeling her fingers along the waistband of his pants. ]

No? [ There's a deeper curiosity in the question, wondering just what that might be. ] I suppose we could bookmark it.

[ Just another thing for later. One of his hands settles on her hip, the other letting him lean back some, head tilting with the motion to give her more space to kiss. ]

We could.

[ a soft hum in agreement, as she undoes his pants a bit more fully, her fingers resting just against his stomach, inching past his waistband into his pants properly. ]

Is that what you want? To wait.

[ as she drags another kiss across his jaw. ]

[ The light touch of her fingertips has him breathing in slow, trying to keep his attention on the conversation. He is being asked for some kind of decision, after all. ]

Yes and no. [ Oh, this isn't fair. To be asked this while she's dragging her mouth along his jaw like that. ] I don't want your dinner to burn.

[ But it's not like he's stopping her. ]

Dinner burning depends on you.

[ murmured, as her fingers dip into his pants properly, her balance still perfect as her fingers loosely wrap around his cock. which betrays, quite a bit, about his true feelings concerning waiting. and she gently strokes him, pulling his cock free of his pants, to gently brush against her entrance. ]

It feels like you’re not very interested in waiting.

[ as she kisses his jaw again, stroking him lazily. ]

[ He inhales sharply when her fingers loosely circle his cock, the touch expected but still almost overwhelming. Some of the initial jolt lessens as she starts to move her hand, though he swears when she lightly rubs against him, the tease making him push his hips into it. ]

Someone else doesn't sound too interested in waiting. [ In theory, he could've lifted her straight off his lap, if he wanted. Though she also could've stopped straddling him at any point in the last couple minutes in this back and forth.

It seems the decision is made. Poor dinner. ]

[ she grins a little, the movement felt against his cheek, because blaming this on her is not going to work. but she soon takes the hint, adjusting her height slightly so she can lower herself into him. her legs move to wrap loosely around his waist, so she’s sitting properly on his lap, with a soft groan into his neck as she takes him.

truthfully, she’s still sensitive from their earlier escapade, and she rolls her hips slowly, to relish the feeling of him being inside her. and not for the first time, she thinks to herself how impossible this used to seem. but inej pushes that from her mind in favor of kissing his neck, lightly running her tongue against the flesh as she rolls her hips again.

her dinner was absolutely going to be ruined, but this seems to be worth it. ]

[ As she slowly takes him in, he keeps still, only his hand running up along her side. When she's finally got her legs wrapped around his waist, he echoes her soft sound, his hand dropping to the small of her back as and anchor point. Not that she needs it, already balancing.

She's still wet from earlier and he rolls his hips to meet hers, the sensation washing over him, making him feel a little too warm under his skin. In some ways, it's hard to imagine how this hadn't been possible for either of them a few years ago. She'd understandably locked up the first time she'd seen him hard. And he couldn't stand the arousal-damp feel of skin.

Somehow, they'd worked through it. Because now the shudder that goes through him when she licks at his neck isn't one of disgust. That's the furthest thing from his mind as he settles both hands on her hips, pushing up into her eagerly. He tilts his head, brushing his lips to her temple, tempted to bury his face in her hair. ]

[ she's genuinely not sure how she's managed to make it this far. a lot of patience, probably. and persistence. and acceptance that it will never be perfect, and that is okay.

she's not immune, to feeling the crawling feeling underneath her skin. sometimes, she wakes up in a panic. after she's dismantled another slaver ship, and she coaxes any survivors on board into safety, and she has to deal with the fallout mostly by herself. but she's found that that happens more frequently when she's alone, rather than with him.

at any rate, today is pretty close to perfect.

she exhales in a shuddered gasp at the first thrust, curling her fingers into his hair as she allows the feeling to wash over her. her breathing quick, rolling her hips in time with his.

she's not really too concerned about her own feeling, on this round. but it's hard to stop the soft noise into his temple, as she closes her eyes. ]

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