timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ with her eyes closed, she doesn't see his expression. but she catches the wobble of his voice, and her head tilts slightly, listening carefully to see if it returns. but his voice soon returns to its familiar rasp, though inej knows she's hit a nerve.

hm. ]

No one will even notice they are gone.

[ with quiet confidence, her eyes still closed. ]

And it sounds as if they grow best when left to their own devices, so they sound perfect.

[ Honestly, he barely remembers his mother. He has vague memories of a small portrait in the house; she had dark eyes and darker hair, a warm smile that didn't show her teeth. More of what he thinks of are the things Jordie or his father would tell him, the latter wearing his grief like a cloak and trying his best to muddle through it.

Back then, he hadn't ever understood why his father looked so exhausted all the time. Now, he gets it.

So even though he can't remember how her voice sounded or what it felt like to be rocked to sleep, he associates those flowers with her. And probably will, forever, much like Inej thinks of geraniums and her mother at the same time. It's strangely an emotional memory. Part of place he can move while the rest stays exactly where it is. There's a few moments where he's silent, swallowing around the sudden grief.

Wasn't this supposed to get easier, with time? ]

There's so many of them, we'd have to dig up half a field for someone to notice. [ He says, finally, briefly squeezing her tight. ]

[ she can sense the change in energy, from him. the feeling of him swallowing, and finally him hugging her tightly. she can usually read him like a book, but it's hard to parse through his silent thoughts when she can't see his face. so she draws conclusions, resting her chin on top of his head, her eyes blinking open to look out the window of their bedroom. ]

I am not going anywhere.

[ as she gently strokes his hair, humming to herself. both in general (in death, in leaving port, in removing herself from his life) and: ]

So we have all the time in the world to dig.

[ He can't say he's handled her leaving very well over the years. It's something he'd gotten used to, but the edge of paranoia never left. That middle of the night wondering if he was going to see her again. And Kaz knows he can't keep her off of the ocean forever, not until she's decided to retire (if ever).

So, her staying for the foreseeable future is an immense relief to his nerves. Something that washes through him a second time. Because at least for a number of months, she'll be here, longer than her usual stays. It helps to think about it, settling his emotions. Like silt sinking back to the bottom of a river.

Carefully, he sits up, taking her face in both his hands and brushing a soft kiss across her mouth. ]

[ she adjusts her arms as he sits up, blinking. almost nervous she toed the line too much, and inej opens her mouth to ask if he's alright when he takes her face in his hands, and kisses her.

ah. so everything is fine.

she smiles into the kiss, returning it gently, reaching up to run her fingers along his forearms. and she considers leaving it there before she lets her eyes glance around the room, though she doesn't move to remove his hands from her face. ]

We have to decorate this empty house.

[ and probably get out of bed. ]

If we are going to make the outside beautiful, the inside should probably match.

[ His thumbs gently swipe across her cheeks and there's a very small shiver as her fingers slide along his forearms. It's a comforting touch and the shudder is clearly not one of discomfort.

Unfortunately, she does have a point. They need a table and chairs for the dining room. Some more groceries for the kitchen. A few other things he'll need to list out when he isn't distracted by her face. ]

Well, you're in here currently. That beats the outside by a mile. [ what a nerd ]

[ she blinks, at the statement. clearly not expecting that. and it only takes a few moments before a laugh bubbles up, and her cheeks feel suspiciously warm, and slightly red. ]

You are ridiculous.

[ but she is grinning a little. ]

And I am not a table.

[ boi stop ]

[ At her laugh, he grins wide, sliding his hands down to her neck and resting them at the junction of her shoulder. Is she blushing? It's so rare to see and a streak of delight goes through him. ]

Well, I'd rather eat you than on you. [ Ah. No, he can't say he'll tire of it. ] But it would be nice not to have to stand while having dinner.

[ He guesses, reluctantly pulling away. ]

[ that comment earns a swat to his head, clearly not meant with any real amount of frustration or anger, as it's accompanied with another laugh. and a distinctly pink tinge in her cheeks. ]

I take back any insinuation I made of you being a gentleman.

[ with a huff, as she unfolds her legs to get to her feet, moving off the bed to collect her nightshirt. ]

I am taking a bath so we can go buy a table.

[ he's the worst!!!!!! ]

[ He doesn't duck out of the way of her swat in time, taking the cuff while still grinning. She's not one that's easy to embarrass so it's always extra amusing when he manages it. Which is why his laugh accompanies her as she gets up from bed and picks up her shirt.

And while he does miss her being so close, he can't complain about watching her lean over or walk steadily to the bathroom. Her long hair sways as she goes, a tantalizing brush along her back.

Breathing out a sigh, he gets up and collects his pants from the floor, draping them over the end of the bed. Soon enough, he's showered off and sitting on the bed in his shirttails and underwear, concentrating on massaging out the twinge in his leg. If it gets worse, he'll just have to find places to rest along their route. And probably only one trip to the Barrel and back, if needed. It's days like this he wonders if he should've let that damnable Tailor do her work. He couldn't do it, though. The injury was a part of him as much as his hair color and height. Just the idea of walking freely felt so jarring, wrong, erasing everything he'd done to incorporate it into his life.

So, he's stuck doing this and hoping it decides not to get worse. ]

[ she cleans herself up quickly, though her hair takes the most time, as per usual. and she comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her, to move to the closet, when she notices kaz rubbing his leg. and she frowns, but focuses on tugging on her underwear and pants, finishing getting dressed by finding a white button-down shirt, sliding into it and buttoning it up as she moves over, her hair tied up in a loose bun to avoid her hair dripping on her shirt. ]

The shower didn't help?

[ their list of things to do today may have been ambitious, given his leg. and she recalculates the route she was going to take inside her head, to find a shorter route. ]

Twinged as I was getting out.

[ And he wasn't about to get right back in. Though while hot water would help the muscles relax, sometimes it was still painful. Walkable, but with a weird jarring sensation. He knew when he could push through it and when propping his leg up for the day was in his future. Today he would just have to be careful.

He's worked most of the tension out so he cautiously tests his weight as he gets up to put trousers on. There's still a pull right around the knee—which meant less moments without the cane. Kaz finishes dressing, sitting on the edge of the bed once the pants are on to thread his tie and shrug on the vest and coat. ]

We'll mostly be around here, I'm not concerned.

[ inej has never treated kaz differently, because of his injury. any time that he wanted to do something, his leg was the last consideration she had. kaz knew his limits, and while he frequently ignored them, it wasn't really inej's place to tell him what he could or could not do.

that didn't mean she didn't pay attention to when he needed to rest, though, or point out when he was being stupid. and she had a feeling today was going to be one of those days, as she finishes getting dressed and pulling on her shoes. once she's done with that, inej collects his cane for him, so he has it when he stands. ]

We have no need to leave this district today.

[ in agreement, eyes flickering to his leg. ]

Anything at the Club can wait until tomorrow.

[ or inej can go herself to investigate anything going wrong, but she'll keep that suggestion to herself. ]

Anika's running the show, she'll send someone if it's dire.

[ And over time, she's gotten to be a better judge of when things were about to blow up. In the beginning, she had panicked over some of the smaller stuff, still green on what constituted as an emergency. At the very least, he'd planned for it, figuring being handed the reins was a big step. ]

Won't be able to check out that place near the harbor for spices. [ That can be put off another day, unless she felt like going herself. He takes his cane from her gratefully, using it to lever himself up. It doesn't hurt to stand, which is a good sign. Reaching over, he puts his hand on her cheek briefly, affectionately. ]

I'm not going to push it.

You will.

[ a bit dryly, though she reaches up to cover his hand with hers, and pulls it away only to briefly kiss the palm of his hand. ]

But I will be here to tell you that I warned you.

[ as per usual. but inej will collect a bag to slide over her shoulder, carrying their coin or whatever else they’ll need for their excursion. ]

What do we absolutely need to buy today?

Alright, I won't push it much.

[ On bad days, he usually has to push a little, even if it's just to get himself upstairs in the Slat. Sitting totally idle isn't a thing he can do, not even when he has someone he can pass the reins to.

Having his own place does mean he's afforded that luxury a bit more– he can rest without the paranoia that it was going to get out to everyone. ]

Table, chairs, probably some plates and silverware. There's a few in the cabinets, but I brought them from the Slat.

[ He hadn't wanted to pick out all the place settings.

Heading for the door, he holds it open for her, ready to set out. They can get breakfast on the way. ]

[ an easy enough list, most of which can be delivered without much effort on their part. and she moves through the door easily, waiting for him before setting off down the street. ]

We also need more food.

[ thoughtfully, keeping pace with kaz, her steps a little slower than usual -- though his gait is naturally much longer than hers, and inej has gotten used to walking quickly, in order to keep up with everyone. it's really only thanks to kaz's limp that inej doesn't have to powerwalk to keep up with him. ]

The ability to make our own coffee would be nice.

[ it's in thinking of what they do every day that inej realizes they really do need . . . a lot of stuff. ]

But I think the plates and table and chairs are the most important thing.

[ He remembers to lock the door before they go, wiggling the handle just to double check. Then he's re-joining Inej as they start down the street. ]

A coffee press would be nice. [ That goes on the mental list, something extra to keep an eye out for. Really, he'd known decorating the house would be a big task but now he's realizing just how much of one it is. Somewhat daunting. In the Slat, he'd never had to think about it much, never having the space for things. And most of the furniture coming with the place. ]

Should probably start writing things down as we think of them.

Probably.

[ a hum of agreement, as she takes his hand as they walk, easily intertwining their fingers. but it's an exciting adventure, she thinks, as they leave the residential district and into the market area proper, full of shops and artisans and craftsmen, eager to take their money.

and as she thinks about the rest of their house . . .]

I would like an armchair.

[ and an ottoman, for kaz and his leg. which leads into other things that would be helpful, like more blankets and pillows.

and the more items she thinks of, the more she's decided on: ]

Maybe we should go into a store and see what they have, and build our list that way.

[ It'll be interesting, he thinks as he takes her hand, to see the rooms more filled out. Right now it's so bare bones that it's almost hard to imagine what it will look like eventually. ]

We'll have to make sure it isn't one you disappear in. [ He says, slightly amused. A lot of chairs were built for people much bigger than she was. The backings were high to accommodate those of a taller persuasion. ]

They might be able to make some suggestions. I remember the room measurements, just in case. [ Of course he would.

Those do end up being handy, at one point, close to lunch time. There's a discussion on whether a specific table will fit with enough space on the sides—which unfortunately leads to the answer being no. It takes the two of them a better part of the day to track down another table and a set of chairs (in a separate place) that they can both agree on.

Not that Inej is argumentative about it, quite the opposite. She seems as un-picky as the day is long.

Either way, they make it through the next week doing similar excursions, pieces showing up one by one. Soon enough, the sound stops bouncing around so much in specific rooms, the furniture stopping the empty room echo. He swaps the locks for something less insane; a set he knows Inej could muddle through if necessary.

It really starts feeling like a home rather than just a house. Granted, he always feels that way when Inej is around, but it's doubly true now that they have their own space. Soon enough, a week turns into a month and a month turns into a couple, and they've built the foundation of Inej's new venture.

(He's told her a few times but he is very glad she won't be taking off in another month like she usually would). ]

[ it's something of an adjustment, to having a permanent place to stay. but as the weeks turn into months, she finds herself . . . happy. it always weighs on her, what her absence from the seas can mean, but delegating (having specht captain the wraith, in her break) and having more eyes on the seas, rather than having it rest solely on her shoulders, is good for her.

it also means that she can spend time with kaz, who has told her more than once that he's glad she's staying. but it also makes her wonder more, how he handles himself in her absence. she knows he misses her, terribly, but he never really talks about how much. even now, he holds some cards close to his chest. and certain things are just hard to talk about.

but he seems happy. content, even. and learning to navigate this new space together takes some time, but it's likely the easiest thing they've done. this is nothing, compared to everything else.

but the work continues. and inej takes to wandering west stave, dressed casually to avoid attracting attention. and at night, she watches from the rooftops, keeping track of ships that come and go, and paying attention to which brothels obtain new workers, and which do not.

the menagerie and the sweet shop remain shuttered, though she notices people going in and out of the menagerie, on occasion. assessors, maybe, to see what the building is worth. or working to rebuild the reputation of plague. heleen is nowhere to be found, but that doesn't surprise inej. she has enough coin to make people do things for her, even with the collapse of the menagerie. inej is sure that she has kruge ferreted all over the world, to survive. she would be back, eventually. and inej would be there with a knife.

to her satisfaction, though, the sweet shop is simply collecting dust. pekka rollins seems to have taken the wraith's suggestion to heart. literally.

but it's in walking back home with groceries (and some clothes) that an idea begins to percolate, and once she lets herself into the house, she decides she should likely ask kaz if it's possible. (when, you know. anything is possible.) but inej has her skillset, and kaz has his, and she's about to go find him to ask when she realizes he's likely still working.

so she sets the groceries in the kitchen while putting her new clothes (and things) in the closet before slipping out of her shoes, moving up the stairs carefully to peer into the office that he's arranged for himself upstairs. her eyes move to the clock on the wall before returning his gaze to him, her tone even: ]

Dinner?

[ or is it another late night. ]

[ During the evenings, he can usually be found in his upstairs office, doing the numbers for the club. It's a habit, doing them near the end of the night, most of them having rolled in at that point. He'd taken a trip earlier to sort out a pipe leak at the Slat and stopped by the club to pick up paperwork and has now settled back into his routine.

The numbers are soothing. Not just from having done them for so long but the actual mathematics portion. Numbers didn't lie or cheat or steal. There were multiple ways to get to the answer but in the end, adding one number and another got the same result.

There's also a matter of it being easier to concentrate on doing this: he no longer has to mentally block out the sounds of the Slat. It's silent in the house, even after he hears the front door shut and Inej returning from her outing. She's naturally a quiet person. Eventually, he does register her presence in the doorway, glancing up from the records at her question.

He mirrors her earlier motion without realizing, glancing at the clock, and leaning back in his chair. It got later than he thought. ]

I can come back to this. [ It's the last few lines, easily done come morning. He grabs his cane and levers himself up, leaving the work on the desk and coming over to her to kiss her forehead. ]

How was your research?

[ the kiss to her forehead brings an immediate warmth to her expression, and she adjusts the collar of his shirt, her lips curving into a small smile. and she considers telling him what she's found . . . the sweet shop is still empty, the menagerie still has people moving in and out of it with cleaning supplies . . . and her idea, to drive people like heleen out of business, and to begin crushing the red light district of west stave into oblivion, and letting it flourish as something else.

but truthfully, she hasn't seen him all day, and instead she tugs him closer for a soft kiss, humming to herself. ]

I missed you.

[ warmly, before sliding her arms around his middle, in a loose hug. ]

So I decided to come home early.

[ . . . it's half-true. she had needed to pick up food and her new clothes. but she always wanted to be near him, after spending any time near the menagerie. ghosts nip at her heels, and she feels stable and grounded, near him. ]

[ Oh.

He always feels a vague sense of discontent when she isn't around. It isn't as though they've become totally co-dependent, the both of them liking their space. And bolstered by knowing the other was more than qualified enough to look after themselves.

There's also the matter of their reputations: some were willing to test it, on a dare, but that was the minority. Most stayed clear of them, knowing it was a bad idea to come near.

Still, that doesn't stop him from those wistful half-moments during the day, where he just wants to hold her. So there's a tension that loosens when she loops her arms around his middle and he returns the favor, his one arm settling around her shoulders as he returns her kiss. ]

Well, now you have me for the rest of the night. [ He lets her go to start for the stairs, though his hand lays across the small of her back, tugging her along. ] See anything of note?

[ she lets herself walk with him, bolstered by the hand at her back, heading down the stairs as she sorts through what she's gathered inside her head, prioritizing what kaz should know versus what he probably doesn't need to.

and as they make their way to the foyer, she opens her mouth to tell him everything she saw. that some type of assessor, with cleaners, are moving through west stave, heading in and out of the menagerie with quasi-regularity. that the white rose and blue iris are still busy, and still hiring (or buying). and that they seem to know inej is watching, but are growing a little more brazen, in their purchases.

but what comes out instead is: ]

I want to buy the Menagerie.

[ that about sums it up, really. ]

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