timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

We have a fifty percent chance on that one.

[ a bit wryly, her eyes closed, fingers lightly moving along his side as she thinks.

most importantly, though: ]

They will come out perfect regardless. Even with the attitude problem.

[ the attitude problem is a guarantee, with the two of them for parents. ]

[ He laughs lightly at the mention of an attitude problem. Because it's true and unavoidable. Both of them are headstrong people, which means it was likely to be passed on.

Even if it wasn't, living with two stubborn parents in an equally stubborn city was more than enough for them to learn the trait. ]

You'll finally have someone smaller than you around.

That only means you will be outnumbered.

[ without missing a beat, though she does prod her fingers gently into his side, as punishment for his utter lack of manners. ]

Your days are numbered, Kaz Brekker.

Oh no— [ He starts, the words colored by the grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. ]

—surrounded by the people I love, what a tragedy.

[ Such a brat!!! ]

You say that now.

[ mildly, unbothered by his bratty behavior, her eyes still closed, enjoying the feel of his heartbeat underneath her hand. ]

Wait until you have a daughter.

You say that as if I wouldn't be thrilled.

[ A small baby girl. For some reason, he's very attached to the idea. Not that he'd be upset if it was a son. It's just. A different kind of attachment.

And neither of them are particularly keen on finding out, not until the baby is born. The surprise is worth it, even if it's annoying to navigate getting clothes that are more neutral. It's not as though the Kerch dislike surprises but...the merchers have a tendency to want to know what their heir is going to be. So they can make formal announcements or whatever the hell they do.

Instead, as the months start going by, Inej writes her parents to tell them the news. Another letter subsequently gets sent off to Zenik, though neither of them are sure how quickly she'll get it. They break the news to Jesper and Wylan over dinner; Jes decides to celebrate by getting him as drunk as possible.

(It works, he has some regrets the following morning. The only upside is knowing his friend is suffering equally a couple blocks away).

Inej seems to vacillate between wanting to be touched constantly or wanting him to be at least three feet away. There's no real in between. Somehow, they make it work for sleeping at least. Though she has surprised him a handful of times by waking him in the middle of the night for something. Whether it was wanting to be kissed or for a cup of ice cream, there's no rhyme or reason.

The upside is at least he's used to strange sleeping patterns, so it isn't a huge adjustment. Not as much as she's had to make, her entire early morning routine thrown off on some days. When she does sleep, it's soundly and she drops off almost immediately. Like she had done earlier, as soon as he'd turned over to spoon her.

Whether she stayed asleep would remain to be seen. ]

[ it’s a bizarre adjustment, pregnancy. mostly because inej is so used to being in control and right now, she’s very much not. but overall, it hasn’t been terrible, and as the weeks stretch on, she’s surrendered herself to the idea that her body just isn’t hers, anymore.

sleep is a struggle, though. she has odd dreams, though thankfully nothing too horrible. they do tend to wake her up, though, and roll over to seek comfort or something of the sort from Kaz, who is usually willing to oblige.

on this night, though, when she blearily stirs to consciousness, kaz’s arm around her waist. it’s hard to get comfortable, now, with being officially showing. and she’s about to just sigh and bury her face back into her pillow when she feels an odd jab in her side.

she blinks, and shifts her hand to her stomach, gently running her fingers over the gentle curve, confused. maybe Kaz accidentally prodded her . . . but it happens again, right underneath her fingertips, and it suddenly hits her with a rush of adrenaline and delight. ]

Kaz.

[ it’s a whisper, as she runs her hand over her stomach again, trying to find the sensation again. ]

Are you awake?

[ she can tell he’s very much not, his face buried in her hair, but he will be done. ]

[ Kaz is most certifiably not awake. But her rushed whisper draws him out of his sleep, breaking through the curtain of pleasant unconsciousness.

He doesn't open his eyes at first, too tired and still very much ready to go back to sleep. ]

Hm?

[ At her second nudge, he does finally crack his eyes open, blinking away the bleariness. ]

What? What is it? [ There's no annoyance, just words slurring together as he tries to wake. ]

[ the poor thing is definitely not awake, but at his mumbled question, inej takes him by the wrist and guides his hand to her stomach, placing his palm against the curve as she waits.

and sure enough, after a few moments, there’s another tiny blip of movement. ]

I think the baby is moving.

[ her voice is still a quiet whisper, almost as if speaking too loudly would make the baby stop. ]

Did you feel it?

[ She takes him by the wrist and he just figures she's going to drag him closer somehow. As though they aren't quite close enough.

(Dimly, he's aware there's a bit of space between, so maybe she has the right of it).

Instead, she's laying his hand on her middle, her palm on top of his. After a few beats of confused silence, he feels a motion under his fingers. A small but pronounced movement. Like a kick.

He comes more awake all at once, finally clueing in. ]

Oh. [ There they are, alive and well, perhaps just as fussy as their parents. ]

[ she remains still, until he reacts, and inej grins, tilting her head back a little so she can look up at him, though she still keeps his hand pressed against her middle. ]

You do?

[ in a hushed tone, eyes bright. ]

You feel it?

[ There's another movement, this one less pronounced. A shift like they're trying to get comfortable.

He props himself up on his elbow, keeping his hand where it is, mirroring her grin. ]

Someone's fussy. [ But he's clearly excited, just as much as she is. And there's the overwhelming affection, which has him leaning down to kiss her temple, his palm smoothing along the curve of her stomach. ]

[ indeed, the movement soon quells to something a bit less obvious, as the baby seems to settle into whatever position they deem comfortable. whatever it is, it’s not necessarily comfortable for inej, who has an odd pinching sensation now in her back.

but she doesn’t seem to care, at the kiss to her temple, and she shifts a little to lay on her back — which alleviates some of the discomfort — grinning up at him as if she’s won the lottery. ]

They moved.

[ it’s a hushed, gleeful statement. the lack of movement had honestly been anxiety inducing. Inej had worried that something was wrong. her mother had assured her countless times over that it was just too early, but inej hadn’t been able to shake the fear from the back of her mind.

and inej pauses before shifting kaz’s hand again, resting a little bit more left, where the tiniest fluttering of movement could be felt. nothing as pronounced as the kicking, but still there. and at the movement, inej feels a sudden weight in her throat before she shifts her hands to cover her face, her voice muffled: ]

I can’t cry, I am going to have a headache if I cry...

[ crying seemed to happen at the drop of a hat, now, frustratingly enough, but this time is at least in joy. and relief. ]

[ Inej rolls over onto her back, probably a result of the baby moving around. Like this though, he can see her face, illuminated as it is by the light filtering through the windows. She moves his hand again and there's another flutter of motion; he feels like he can't stop smiling.

After all, he was aware of how much she'd been worrying about the lack of movement. Because maybe it meant something was wrong. Asena had told her it was a matter of time, that it was likely too early. But that hadn't put either of their worries to rest very much.

Now there's proof that the baby is healthy enough to fidgeting and the relief is undeniable. ]

You might have a headache if you don't either. [ He moves his hand to pulls hers away from her face, cupping her cheek. His thumb swipes across her cheekbone, soothing. ] Think they're dreaming?

[ the hand on her face distracts her from the struggle not to cry, though she does have one suspicious-sounding sniff before she drops her hands, gently trailing her fingers along her middle, tracing around where she had last felt the movement. ]

Can they dream yet?

[ almost curious; she vaguely understands how development works, but hasn't really delved into the stack of books that kaz has. most of it contains information that she really doesn't need to know, thank you very much. ]

I know they can hear while they're in there, so I guess they could have something to dream about.

Not sure, there's conflicting belief.

[ Yes, he has read quite a bit about this. Because not knowing made him too anxious, just like it did with most things. He strokes her cheek with his thumb again, sensing it seemed to help her calm down from the threat of tears. ]

Judging from how they're moving, maybe they're dreaming about acrobatics.

[ Like a certain someone. ]

[ there's a slight grin, at that, and inej tilts her head into the palm of his hand. ]

I do not think you have enough years left in your life to watch someone learn how to fly.

[ kaz had met inej when she already knew what she was doing. but before that, there was a lot of falling, a lot of brushed ribs, a concussion or two. kaz had the benefit of knowing inej was going to be fine, whenever she walked across the wire.

. . . on most days, anyway. sometimes, he is frustrating and overprotective and annoying, but on most days, he trusts her to know her own limits. ]

So hopefully they stay on the ground.

Somehow, I doubt they will.

[ If they're anything like either of their parents. Headstrong, restless, and determined; all things that made one attempt the impossible quite often. ]

I haven't gone grey yet, so there's still some years left.

[ That could also be genetics. He only remembers his father being grey at the temples, but he isn't sure how early that happened.

After one more stroke to her cheek, he sets his hand over hers on her middle again, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead and murmuring: ]

At least they'll have you to teach them, if they decide having two feet on the ground is too boring.

[ she lets her eyes close, at the kiss to her forehead, rolling a bit more onto her side in order to tuck into his side a bit more completely. getting comfortable is beginning to be a struggle, and inej tucks her head into his chest with a quiet laugh. ]

They will.

[ warmly, amused. her skillset is a little limited (or, at least, inej thinks it is), but she would let them learn or do whatever they found joy in. because she was denied that opportunity, when she was stolen. who knows what kind of person she would be if she was allowed to have a normal childhood.

this child would be given the world, and no one would take it away from them. ]

My mother hated it, when I wanted to learn. She used to tell me that I was going to give her a heart attack if I kept doing it, but my father always let me do what I wanted.

[ This is one thing he's starting to notice is getting more difficult. And he knows he'll miss it—the ease of cuddling. There's only so many ways she can sleep now. Even the usual sleeping on her side is becoming uncomfortable, if her fidgeting is anything to judge by.

Still, he smoothes his palm up and down her side slowly, soothingly, always liking the extra contact. ]

I'm sure I'd worry even if they wanted to raise goats in Lij. [ It's just who he is as a person. ] But, if it makes them happy, I can't complain.

[ Neither of them had gotten much of a chance there, in their younger years. The times when they should've been able to be free to do what they wanted. Instead, Inej had been stolen from her family and he'd lost his, both of them having to navigate this merciless city.

He doesn't resent where he is now. And he certainly isn't unhappy. How could he be, when he has this? When he has Inej, who he loves and would do anything for?

That doesn't stop the idle curiosity of what if. Nothing serious, but it's hard to stop oneself from thinking on it. So much of it is impossible, depending on certain people in his life living instead of passing away. He wants something different for their baby; the choice to pursue anything or everything. ]

[ indeed, cuddling (and sleep) is becoming difficult. but she's hellbound and determined to try, letting her eyes close again at the feeling of his hand running up and down her side, the touch soothing and relaxing.

but as she moves and gets comfortable, she feels another kick, and her lips twitch faintly. ]

I don't think they want to raise goats in Lij.

[ she says quietly, tone laced with amusement. there was quite the protest, at that. but as she lays there on her side, she feels another twinge in her back, and her brow furrows as she shifts a little bit more, a sigh escaping. ]

Maybe I should take a bath.

[ it had to be exceptionally late, but she can already tell that falling back asleep was not going to happen anytime soon, her body fidgeting and unable to relax. ]

Maybe restlessness is genetic.

[ Considering how much the both of them were always on the move. Her parents as well. And his, probably, even if his father had been a farmer. He remembers very distinctly how much work he did, always preferring to do it himself rather than hire help on.

Sitting still just didn't run in their blood. ]

Want some help? [ It's late, probably a few hours after midnight, but she usually has a difficult time getting back to sleep. Now with someone actively making it more difficult, he has a feeling they'll both be a bit tired in the days to come. After all, it doesn't seem right to just leave her to it without trying to help her sleep again. ]

[ there's a soft hrm, at both statements . . . because a bath does sound lovely, but also requires getting up. and she shifts back onto her back, pushing herself up onto her elbows a little to look at him thoughtfully, her hair falling a little into her eyes. ]

Maybe.

[ as she wrinkles her nose. and honestly, the more she thinks about getting up and going to the bath, the less appealing that it feels to her.

well. maybe a bath after something else. she's in a delightful mood, even with the discomfort. and since starting this new journey, her libido has been all over the place. some odd mixture between needing him right now and wanting to crawl into bed by herself.

tonight, she's sort of in between. but full of affection, which is her usual normal, rather than whatever happens when she wakes up in the middle of the night from an exceptionally uncharacteristic salacious dream and a need.

so she reaches out to tug at his shirt a little. ]

I want to kiss you.

[ with a slight upward curve of her lips.

he can come to her, thank you very much. ]

[ Perhaps more than anything else, this has been the thing he had to adjust to most. This being the wild swing of Inej's hormones. Before, it wasn't as if he were left to wonder if she wanted him. She's just always been more reserved with her desires, carefully building up to them. It made sense, from how long she'd struggled to even get to the point where she wanted to be touched.

The past few months have been...different. Being woken up in the middle of the night because his wife was too horny to sleep had definitely been a new and interesting experience. Since then, it's been off and on—though currently she seems a little more herself. Balanced.

Still cheeky. ]

You want to kiss me? [ He starts, teasingly, as she tugs him towards her. ] Or you want me to kiss you?

[ Either way, there's no turning down such a request. Demand. Whatever. Kaz does lean in, brushing a light kiss to her lips. She hadn't specified, after all. ]

[ the light brush against her lips prompts an immediate frown, and inej tugs on his shirt again, pulling him closer, so she could kiss him, the act slow and gentle, her eyes falling close.

and once she does that, she hums to herself, thoughtful, as she opens her eyes to consider him carefully, her fingers still curled loosely into his shirt. ]

I want you to kiss me.

[ she amends, shifting closer to press her lips against his cheek, murmuring: ]

Maybe tire me out a little.

[ just a little. ]

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