timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ Kaz is most certifiably not awake. But her rushed whisper draws him out of his sleep, breaking through the curtain of pleasant unconsciousness.

He doesn't open his eyes at first, too tired and still very much ready to go back to sleep. ]

Hm?

[ At her second nudge, he does finally crack his eyes open, blinking away the bleariness. ]

What? What is it? [ There's no annoyance, just words slurring together as he tries to wake. ]

[ the poor thing is definitely not awake, but at his mumbled question, inej takes him by the wrist and guides his hand to her stomach, placing his palm against the curve as she waits.

and sure enough, after a few moments, there’s another tiny blip of movement. ]

I think the baby is moving.

[ her voice is still a quiet whisper, almost as if speaking too loudly would make the baby stop. ]

Did you feel it?

[ She takes him by the wrist and he just figures she's going to drag him closer somehow. As though they aren't quite close enough.

(Dimly, he's aware there's a bit of space between, so maybe she has the right of it).

Instead, she's laying his hand on her middle, her palm on top of his. After a few beats of confused silence, he feels a motion under his fingers. A small but pronounced movement. Like a kick.

He comes more awake all at once, finally clueing in. ]

Oh. [ There they are, alive and well, perhaps just as fussy as their parents. ]

[ she remains still, until he reacts, and inej grins, tilting her head back a little so she can look up at him, though she still keeps his hand pressed against her middle. ]

You do?

[ in a hushed tone, eyes bright. ]

You feel it?

[ There's another movement, this one less pronounced. A shift like they're trying to get comfortable.

He props himself up on his elbow, keeping his hand where it is, mirroring her grin. ]

Someone's fussy. [ But he's clearly excited, just as much as she is. And there's the overwhelming affection, which has him leaning down to kiss her temple, his palm smoothing along the curve of her stomach. ]

[ indeed, the movement soon quells to something a bit less obvious, as the baby seems to settle into whatever position they deem comfortable. whatever it is, it’s not necessarily comfortable for inej, who has an odd pinching sensation now in her back.

but she doesn’t seem to care, at the kiss to her temple, and she shifts a little to lay on her back — which alleviates some of the discomfort — grinning up at him as if she’s won the lottery. ]

They moved.

[ it’s a hushed, gleeful statement. the lack of movement had honestly been anxiety inducing. Inej had worried that something was wrong. her mother had assured her countless times over that it was just too early, but inej hadn’t been able to shake the fear from the back of her mind.

and inej pauses before shifting kaz’s hand again, resting a little bit more left, where the tiniest fluttering of movement could be felt. nothing as pronounced as the kicking, but still there. and at the movement, inej feels a sudden weight in her throat before she shifts her hands to cover her face, her voice muffled: ]

I can’t cry, I am going to have a headache if I cry...

[ crying seemed to happen at the drop of a hat, now, frustratingly enough, but this time is at least in joy. and relief. ]

[ Inej rolls over onto her back, probably a result of the baby moving around. Like this though, he can see her face, illuminated as it is by the light filtering through the windows. She moves his hand again and there's another flutter of motion; he feels like he can't stop smiling.

After all, he was aware of how much she'd been worrying about the lack of movement. Because maybe it meant something was wrong. Asena had told her it was a matter of time, that it was likely too early. But that hadn't put either of their worries to rest very much.

Now there's proof that the baby is healthy enough to fidgeting and the relief is undeniable. ]

You might have a headache if you don't either. [ He moves his hand to pulls hers away from her face, cupping her cheek. His thumb swipes across her cheekbone, soothing. ] Think they're dreaming?

[ the hand on her face distracts her from the struggle not to cry, though she does have one suspicious-sounding sniff before she drops her hands, gently trailing her fingers along her middle, tracing around where she had last felt the movement. ]

Can they dream yet?

[ almost curious; she vaguely understands how development works, but hasn't really delved into the stack of books that kaz has. most of it contains information that she really doesn't need to know, thank you very much. ]

I know they can hear while they're in there, so I guess they could have something to dream about.

Not sure, there's conflicting belief.

[ Yes, he has read quite a bit about this. Because not knowing made him too anxious, just like it did with most things. He strokes her cheek with his thumb again, sensing it seemed to help her calm down from the threat of tears. ]

Judging from how they're moving, maybe they're dreaming about acrobatics.

[ Like a certain someone. ]

[ there's a slight grin, at that, and inej tilts her head into the palm of his hand. ]

I do not think you have enough years left in your life to watch someone learn how to fly.

[ kaz had met inej when she already knew what she was doing. but before that, there was a lot of falling, a lot of brushed ribs, a concussion or two. kaz had the benefit of knowing inej was going to be fine, whenever she walked across the wire.

. . . on most days, anyway. sometimes, he is frustrating and overprotective and annoying, but on most days, he trusts her to know her own limits. ]

So hopefully they stay on the ground.

Somehow, I doubt they will.

[ If they're anything like either of their parents. Headstrong, restless, and determined; all things that made one attempt the impossible quite often. ]

I haven't gone grey yet, so there's still some years left.

[ That could also be genetics. He only remembers his father being grey at the temples, but he isn't sure how early that happened.

After one more stroke to her cheek, he sets his hand over hers on her middle again, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead and murmuring: ]

At least they'll have you to teach them, if they decide having two feet on the ground is too boring.

[ she lets her eyes close, at the kiss to her forehead, rolling a bit more onto her side in order to tuck into his side a bit more completely. getting comfortable is beginning to be a struggle, and inej tucks her head into his chest with a quiet laugh. ]

They will.

[ warmly, amused. her skillset is a little limited (or, at least, inej thinks it is), but she would let them learn or do whatever they found joy in. because she was denied that opportunity, when she was stolen. who knows what kind of person she would be if she was allowed to have a normal childhood.

this child would be given the world, and no one would take it away from them. ]

My mother hated it, when I wanted to learn. She used to tell me that I was going to give her a heart attack if I kept doing it, but my father always let me do what I wanted.

[ This is one thing he's starting to notice is getting more difficult. And he knows he'll miss it—the ease of cuddling. There's only so many ways she can sleep now. Even the usual sleeping on her side is becoming uncomfortable, if her fidgeting is anything to judge by.

Still, he smoothes his palm up and down her side slowly, soothingly, always liking the extra contact. ]

I'm sure I'd worry even if they wanted to raise goats in Lij. [ It's just who he is as a person. ] But, if it makes them happy, I can't complain.

[ Neither of them had gotten much of a chance there, in their younger years. The times when they should've been able to be free to do what they wanted. Instead, Inej had been stolen from her family and he'd lost his, both of them having to navigate this merciless city.

He doesn't resent where he is now. And he certainly isn't unhappy. How could he be, when he has this? When he has Inej, who he loves and would do anything for?

That doesn't stop the idle curiosity of what if. Nothing serious, but it's hard to stop oneself from thinking on it. So much of it is impossible, depending on certain people in his life living instead of passing away. He wants something different for their baby; the choice to pursue anything or everything. ]

[ indeed, cuddling (and sleep) is becoming difficult. but she's hellbound and determined to try, letting her eyes close again at the feeling of his hand running up and down her side, the touch soothing and relaxing.

but as she moves and gets comfortable, she feels another kick, and her lips twitch faintly. ]

I don't think they want to raise goats in Lij.

[ she says quietly, tone laced with amusement. there was quite the protest, at that. but as she lays there on her side, she feels another twinge in her back, and her brow furrows as she shifts a little bit more, a sigh escaping. ]

Maybe I should take a bath.

[ it had to be exceptionally late, but she can already tell that falling back asleep was not going to happen anytime soon, her body fidgeting and unable to relax. ]

Maybe restlessness is genetic.

[ Considering how much the both of them were always on the move. Her parents as well. And his, probably, even if his father had been a farmer. He remembers very distinctly how much work he did, always preferring to do it himself rather than hire help on.

Sitting still just didn't run in their blood. ]

Want some help? [ It's late, probably a few hours after midnight, but she usually has a difficult time getting back to sleep. Now with someone actively making it more difficult, he has a feeling they'll both be a bit tired in the days to come. After all, it doesn't seem right to just leave her to it without trying to help her sleep again. ]

[ there's a soft hrm, at both statements . . . because a bath does sound lovely, but also requires getting up. and she shifts back onto her back, pushing herself up onto her elbows a little to look at him thoughtfully, her hair falling a little into her eyes. ]

Maybe.

[ as she wrinkles her nose. and honestly, the more she thinks about getting up and going to the bath, the less appealing that it feels to her.

well. maybe a bath after something else. she's in a delightful mood, even with the discomfort. and since starting this new journey, her libido has been all over the place. some odd mixture between needing him right now and wanting to crawl into bed by herself.

tonight, she's sort of in between. but full of affection, which is her usual normal, rather than whatever happens when she wakes up in the middle of the night from an exceptionally uncharacteristic salacious dream and a need.

so she reaches out to tug at his shirt a little. ]

I want to kiss you.

[ with a slight upward curve of her lips.

he can come to her, thank you very much. ]

[ Perhaps more than anything else, this has been the thing he had to adjust to most. This being the wild swing of Inej's hormones. Before, it wasn't as if he were left to wonder if she wanted him. She's just always been more reserved with her desires, carefully building up to them. It made sense, from how long she'd struggled to even get to the point where she wanted to be touched.

The past few months have been...different. Being woken up in the middle of the night because his wife was too horny to sleep had definitely been a new and interesting experience. Since then, it's been off and on—though currently she seems a little more herself. Balanced.

Still cheeky. ]

You want to kiss me? [ He starts, teasingly, as she tugs him towards her. ] Or you want me to kiss you?

[ Either way, there's no turning down such a request. Demand. Whatever. Kaz does lean in, brushing a light kiss to her lips. She hadn't specified, after all. ]

[ the light brush against her lips prompts an immediate frown, and inej tugs on his shirt again, pulling him closer, so she could kiss him, the act slow and gentle, her eyes falling close.

and once she does that, she hums to herself, thoughtful, as she opens her eyes to consider him carefully, her fingers still curled loosely into his shirt. ]

I want you to kiss me.

[ she amends, shifting closer to press her lips against his cheek, murmuring: ]

Maybe tire me out a little.

[ just a little. ]

[ He can feel the frown, knows she wanted more than what he'd started with. She pulls him closer and this time he doesn't tease, kissing her slowly and deeply. It leaves him wanting more when she pulls away. ]

Only a little? [ Truthfully, he knows she'll need more than that to get back to sleep. He tilts his head to kiss her again, less slow this time. His hand slides down her back, fingers tugging the hem up enough to let him trace up her spine. Sitting up, he shifts his weight so he can set his other hand to the back of her neck, liking the brush her hair against his knuckles.

As he pulls away from the kiss, his teeth drag at her lower lip. Once he moves, he presses a kiss to her jaw and then a softer, affectionate one to her neck. ]

A little.

[ she agrees, thought she does tilt her head back at the kiss to her neck, a grin escaping as she presses her lips together, relishing in the after-feeling of his teeth tugging at her bottom lip. ]

Maybe I just want you to take care of me.

[ a little coy, in tone, as she runs her fingers along his side, her hair draping over her shoulder as she enjoys the feeling of his lips against her neck. ]

Use your imagination.

Oh, I have some ideas.

[ Especially after such an open invitation. Another kiss is pressed to her neck, followed by a scrape of teeth and a soothing pass of his tongue. The hand at her back moves to follow the curve of her middle and up to her chest, gently massaging; she's been a little more sensitive there lately and he's using it to his advantage.

Pulling away from sucking a mark high on her neck, he tugs her shirt the rest of the way up, the cloth collecting right underneath her collarbones. His hands slide to her hips and give an appreciative squeeze before he reaches over for a pillow. ]

Take your shirt off and lie back. [ The pillow will get tucked under her hips whenever she does. ]

[ she makes a soft noise of approval, as he massages her chest, letting her eyes close with a soft gasp. it’s almost overwhelming, between the tongue at her neck and the hand on her chest. but he’s soon pulling away to grab a pillow, and inej frowns to herself at the sudden separation. ]

Since when do you tell me what to do?

[ pointedly, but inej tugs her shirt up and over her head. the changes to her body have been a little difficult, and she almost feels self-conscious —- but she does lay back, depositing the shirt off the side of the bed as she settles her hips on top of the pillow, sighing in comfort. it helps alleviate some of the pressure in her back. ]

Since I'm trying to show you a good time.

[ There's no bite to his words though, as he settles back on his heels and pulls his shirt off. It gets dumped in the same direction as hers. And now that he doesn't have anything in the way (for now) he lets his gaze drop from her face down her body. She's been more self-conscious in the recent months, her small frame changing beyond her control. He drags his eyes back up and not without a bit of heat: ]

Ghezen, you're beautiful.

[ Because she does deserve to hear it as much as possible.

Leaning forward, his hands go in the opposite direction, sliding up her sides and cupping her face as he slants his mouth over hers. He pulls away with only a bit of reluctance—mostly because he does have other ideas. The first of which is going back to her chest, fingers gently tweaking her nipples and then rolling them, teasing them into stiffness. One hand he replaces with his mouth, allowing him to trail his fingers down her body. Sliding between her legs, he rubs her not as gently through her underwear. ]

[ inej has always sort of struggled with viewing herself as beautiful. not because she doesn't think she is, but it's always walking a thin line. focusing on her appearance, and all. she's gotten better, but her body very much becoming not hers anymore has sort of thrown everything out of whack. her hips are a bit fuller, her breasts have changed shape, and her stomach is (obviously) different.

but as he stares at her, and calls her beautiful, her lips curve into an involuntary smile, and she returns his kiss in earnest, before she murmurs: ]

You are embarrassing.

[ -- a bit pointedly, before she tilts her head back with a slight groan of approval, as he shifts his attention back to her chest, gasping as his hand dips between her legs. her chest is sensitive, and his tongue prompts a soft moan as she lets her eyes close, to focus on the feeling.

some things about this whole process has been frustrating, but sex certainly hasn't been one of them. ]

Only for you.

[ Or just around her. Sometimes he really doesn't have the words to describe how he feels. Just that it's overwhelming. He's gotten better with saying it aloud, though they've definitely learned what works for them and what doesn't. She hadn't been too comfortable with the compliments in the beginning, reminded of a worse time.

Now her discomfort comes from all the changes, but he still thinks the same thing: she's beautiful. He's pretty sure he'd feel the same no matter what. Though maybe she's rubbed off on him these past few months, because everything feels a little more in general. Emotionally and physically.

Which of course, he isn't going to ignore. Not when she's clearly still feeling that sensitivity; he moves to pay her other breast some attention with his tongue, hand cupping the curve. The fingers between her legs simply push her underwear to the side, two of them sliding gently through her folds. He strokes until she's clearly more slick, slipping both fingers in slowly. ]

OPEN POST 2020.

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