timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ she stills, at the feeling of his lips against her neck, and there’s a tenuous moment where inej is convinced it’s going to fall apart. but . . . it doesn’t. her breathing is normal, and kaz is still within her space, relaxed — or as relaxed as he ever is. she can always feel a run of tension through him, when they attempt something like this, though inej is more convinced that he’s concerned about her reaction versus any dark memories he’s dealing with.

so, after a heartbeat or so of pause — ]

Mhm.

[ it’s a soft noise of reassurance, before she shifts her arms to loop around him a bit lower, to hold him a little closer, her fingers pressing (lightly) against his back. ]

It’s fine.

[ she almost sounds a little surprised, at that, but she shifts to kiss his temple, with a slight grin, as she relaxes a bit more fully, the tension of anticipation now gone. and, because encouragement is usually a good thing: ]

It feels nice.

Edited 2020-08-15 15:53 (UTC)

[ They're both still as they sort out whether things are alright. After a beat, she relaxes some more and he doesn't feel the pull of the harbor, despite how close he is to her neck.

So, it seems like they can try a bit more.

He smiles when she says it feels good, leaning in to brush another kiss to the same spot. There's a shaky exhale after, from the way her fingers press against his back. It's a light touch, nothing aggravating, but it's enough pressure along a couple bruises. Instead of a flinch, though, it feels strangely good, scratching at something beneath the surface.

There's another gentle kiss to her neck before he finally asks, quietly: ]

Can you do that again?

[ the feeling of lips against her neck is pleasant, and she hums to herself softly as she runs her fingers along his back, kissing his temple again, and inej is considering shifting back to his lips when kaz exhales shakily. and she pauses, to ask if he was alright, when kaz asks her the question. ]

Hm?

[ the sound is questioning, as she pulls away just enough to catch his eyes, expression quizzical as she shifts her hands to run along his arms. ]

Do what again?

[ she hadn't kissed him in any particular way or anything like that. or really done much, remaining still while he moved and explored. ]

[ Oh. Oh no. He can barely make sense of it in his own head and now she's looking at him, expression quizzical. Her touch is soothing at least, but his stomach twists itself into a knot as he works to find the words.

Because it's not like it's a normal thing to ask for. And he wonders if he should just take it back. Ask for something else instead.

But he has a feeling she'll know he isn't being entirely truthful. She can always tell when he puts up his armor again; something about the flicker of his expression tips her off.

So he swallows some of the nerves, glancing towards one her hands on his arm, a blush clearly working its way onto his face. ]

Press the bruises. [ Somehow, the blush goes redder. ]

[ he's not looking at her, which causes her brow to furrow . . . and then he begins to turn red, and half-mumbles press the bruises, which causes her to blink. and she opens her mouth to say something, before she closes it, to run it through her mind quickly. ]

You --

[ but as she says it, it seems to connect in her head. because while the menagerie is a horrific period in her life, inej did learn things. things like how to survive, when you had no other choice. and what people requested -- things that they enjoyed, that they specifically requested, when they came to heleen's hellish paradise. and once she draws the connection between what she had been doing and how he reacted . . . ]

Oh.

[ a bit knowingly, and maybe a tiny bit amused, as she takes his (warm) face into her hands, running her thumbs over his cheeks, meant to be reassuring, as she presses her lips against his in a brief kiss. ]

You do not have to be embarrassed.

[ as she shifts to gently kiss his forehead. ]

It is a simple request.

[ Expressing himself is still a work in progress. It's not that he's necessarily bad with words– he certainly used them to rout Per Haskell. And broker so many deals.

Just. The whole vulnerability thing is hard. Especially when it comes to something that feels very embarrassing. Or feels like maybe it should be wrong. Who gets pleasure from pain?

But instead of recoil, she sounds...knowing. The reality of it sinking in with her tone. Her hands come up to his face and it's a reassuring touch, some of his tension bleeding away. Only some, of course. Though it gives way to confusion as he flicks his gaze up to meet hers. ]

Is it? [ There's still some color in his cheeks, the embarrassment fresh. ]

[ she grins a little, at his confusion. not that inej finds it satisfying, kaz being embarrassed, but it’s very rare (in her perspective) that inej knows something kaz does not. ]

It is.

[ tone soft, in reassurance, as she leans forward to kiss him gently, slipping her hands to his back again. and as she presses forward, she (very lightly and gently) drags her fingers along a bruise. and she pulls away a little, to kiss his jaw. ]

Some people get pleasure from pain.

[ There's no denying the reaction this time, as she lightly drags her fingers across the edge of a bruise. Another blush rises in his cheeks but it's not one of embarrassment; he lets out a sigh instead of the low moan that wanted to come out, still coming to terms with her being completely okay with this. ]

It's not strange? [ His chin tilts as she kisses his jaw and he slides his hand up her leg to her hip. A grounding sort of touch. ]

[ the sigh and the movement of his hand along her thigh tells her that she did what he wanted, and inej hums to herself as she shifts to gently kiss his neck, as she runs her finger along the bruise again. ]

Strange, no.

[ as she kisses his neck again, a bit more firm this time. part of her wants to lower her full weight into his lap, to roll her hips against his, but she resists the urge.

that might be too much for both of them. maybe next time.

as she kisses his jaw: ]

But I am curious about how long this has been a reality.

[ they’ve really only stepped around having the “sexual attraction” talk. it’s really only a matter of time of beginning to explore one another that bodies reacted and the like. but something like this... hadn’t really been on the agenda. ]

[ She presses the bruise again and his head tips back as he lets out a small sound this time. The feeling has layered on top of the first touch, a skin deep pressure that slides through his veins. ]

I don't know. [ Well, he's a little distracted at the current moment. He wants her to push a bit harder, maybe shove him onto the bed and tell him to behave.

Which is possibly. Too much. ] A while?

[ A few years, at least. One of the few times he actually got himself off instead of ignoring it or taking a scathingly cold shower. He just remembers being frustrated, constantly pulling his mind away from the feel of his own skin. And then he'd rolled onto his side, which had been fresh with bruising from a fight; it'd gotten him to focus on the present.

(Later, he would think of Inej's capable hands doing the same thing. And then feel a bit guilty about it, after). ]

I like when you do it more. [ That definitely hits different. ]

[ clearly, given the noise he makes. and his last comment causes her to pause, her lips resting against his cheek as she digests that. it stirs something in her, but she isn't quite sure what that is.

maybe it's the honest, or vulnerability. or the fact that they've been kissing and exploring each other for the last fifteen minutes or so, and she still feels fine. but she shifts, grinning a little before settling back on her heels, to take his face in hers again and give him a kiss. ]

It's exciting, isn't it.

[ she murmurs, running her thumbs along his cheeks as she kisses him again. ]

Feeling.

[ it's like an entirely new adventure, every time, regardless of how it ends. ]

[ Her motions pause and it gives him a moment to catch up. To clear some of the mental haze that has started to fully creep in.

She settles back on her heels, her weight a little more fully on his hips. He sits up some more, hands coming to her waist. There's no hesitation as he returns her kiss. Kisses. Thoughts of the harbor are about as far away as they ever get; Inej is warm and alive, her words soft. ]

With you, it always is. [ Even if he worries that the other shoe is going to drop. ]

[ she chuckles to herself, at that, content to remain in his lap to slowly kiss him, letting her full weight rest on his lap.

it’s typically when things get too heated, when the other shoe drops. but being slow and gentle, purposeful in her actions as she hums to herself, deepening the kiss as she leans forward.

almost encouraging him to lay back down. so she can (maybe) kiss him once more and gently encourage him to go to sleep, though this may be a fruitless effort, given how he’s refused to quit so far. ]

[ Her lean in gets him to lie back down, though he tugs her down with him, clearly unwilling to stop the kiss in full. It feels too good—slow and purposeful, her weight on top of him, the bruises still stinging just enough.

He can guess she'll want him to rest soon, considering everything that happened. And as much as his body is saying the complete opposite, that does give him some pause. It's not really the aches that nudge him in the direction of taking it easy. He's worked through much worse for less reason.

Instead he considers, as he presses a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth, that neither of them have had a bad reaction. While he wants to maybe push his luck, he also knows that their situation can be much like playing cards. Occasionally, one has to know when to fold.

So he pulls away with a small sigh, looping his arms around her middle to give her an affectionate squeeze. ]

Still good?

[ inej's hands find the mattress as she pushes herself up once he pulls away, eyes searching his face to make sure he's fine . . . but as he squeezes her around the middle, she grins, adjusting herself, her braid falling over her shoulder as she hovers over him. ]

Perfect.

[ warmly, as she lowers herself for a single, chaste kiss against his lips. but she seems to be thinking along the same lines as kaz, her grin shifting into a soft smile, as she watches him. ]

You should get some rest, I think.

[ as she shifts upward to kiss his forehead. ]

I can go and get dinner.

I suppose.

[ It really is a good idea, even if his mind is whirling with everything. Some of it is calmer than it had been, right after the fight, but now there's a different flurry of thoughts to keep him occupied. ]

Stay for a bit? [ He asks, releasing her from his hold around her middle. Eventually, the adrenaline from this and the fight will fully drop away, but he knows his mind calms more easily when she's nearby. Something to do with the weight distribution on the bed. Or maybe just subconsciously knowing she's close, safe. ]

[ she is sorely tempted to refuse him, but (as usual) inej can’t really find it in her to do so.

so she straightens to lift other her leg over him, to lay down next to him, though she lays down flush against him, letting her legs drape over his lap so she can still rest her weight on him, her head tucked against his shoulder. ]

I’ll wait until you fall asleep.

[ she promises, resting a hand gently against his chest. ]

OPEN POST 2020.

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