timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ There's a bit of fussing, when Ella seemingly doesn't like the crumb of attention she's getting. Inej solves it by putting her in her lap. He smiles at this, amused by Ella's face just barely peeking up over the edge of the table. Small fingers are curled along Inej's arm, head tilted back so she can try and see more. ]

Hard to believe she fit so easy in my hands only a few months ago.

[ She'd been so small, fitting across his outstretched hands with only a bit of overlap. Well, Inej's parents had warned them that she'd grow fast. ]

I'm sure she's going to be thrilled about growing them in. [ He hopes he's prepared for more frustrated crying. At the very least, they know she has a healthy set of lungs. ]

[ indeed, she used to be so tiny . . . and she still is, inej supposes, but as ella squeezes inej's arm with her little fingers, as she watches her parents eat dinner. ]

I think it's starting to begin.

[ a little wryly, as ella has dipped her head a little to chew inej's arm, making an odd gurgling noise as she kicks her feet. inej remains still to let ella essentially drool on her arm, picking up her fork to resume dinner with her spare hand. ]

Growing up is exhausting work.

[ she says, as she pops another bite into her mouth, gently bouncing ella with a movement of her leg, to keep the infant entertained. the movement is rewarded with a giggle. so far, so good, as ella continues to babble. ]

What do you think her first word is going to be?

[ He watches as Ella drools all over Inej's forearm and thinks, not for the first time, that he's glad he's beaten most of his aversions to touch. It rarely comes up anymore; his last bad reaction is nearly two years in the past. They both developed some habits in trying not to set it off, things that have stayed despite the need for it waning.

Basically, he's just glad to know when Ella decides to drool all over him, he won't be going into a panic attack. ]

It was bad enough for the years I do remember. [ Going from not quite teenager through those years and into adulthood had been rocky. Even moreso in factoring that they'd grown up in the Barrel. At the very least she won't have to deal with that harsh place. ]

Hopefully it'll be one of us. But it'll probably be something surprising, like "bird". [ Considering her deep affection for the stuffed crow, it seems likely. ]

[ she would be lying, if she hadn't been concerned at first. children don't really have an understanding, of trauma or how to best avoid triggers. ella in particular loves being held and is tactile, constantly grabbing and wanting to be hugged. but so far, so good, for the most part.

inej sets down her fork after finishing most of her dinner, shifting to pick up ella a bit more, turning the infant around so ella could properly see her mother's face. there's a momentary protest, at not being able to chew on her arm anymore, but ella is soon distracted by a kiss to her nose and a grin, and the baby immediately grabs for inej's shirt, tugging a bit sharply as inej settles ella against her chest. ]

I think it is going to be no.

[ a little dryly, as she presses her lips to the top of ella's head, running her hand along the baby's back. there's no hair for ella to grab, as she put it up, but that doesn't stop her from trying. ]

Or food, food is another one.

[ They'd both been concerned at first. Even during the time before she'd been born, he'd been nervous about it; his history with touch has been a rough one. And while he's gotten so much of it out of his system in the years spent with Inej and getting more used to casual touch, having a grabby child was a different thing altogether.

And Ella, as children went, was very into being connected with her parents. Thankfully, he's gotten used to her touch and no longer has the same hesitance he had when she was first born. ]

"No" is a good first word. [ Ah. So practical. It would also make sense for a child coming from the both of them– so stubborn. ]

I'm almost surprised she hasn't already said that one. [ Though he's well aware that stage is bit of ways off. She's currently grabbing at Inej's shirt, though she hasn't started yelling from hunger. Which is relieving since she's given them enough time to finish their own dinner. A sometimes rarity. ]

No is a very good word.

[ in agreement, amused as she gently runs her fingers along ella's back up to her head, brushing the baby's hair with her fingers. and she's about to comment about food when ella tugs at her shirt again, a little more insistently, this time.

she's being remarkably good, tonight. the nap must have done her some good. but inej lifts ella up to peer at the baby's face, brow furrowing as if she was inspecting her very closely . . . and ella soon lets go of the shirt to press a hand against inej's cheek with a gurgle. ]

I think . . . pajamas are in order. Maybe a bath. And dinner.

[ thoughtfully, before she peers over ella's head at kaz, amused. ]

Can you put the dishes in the sink for me while I get her ready?

[ There's another tug on her shirt, this one more insistent than the last one and he feels like a small fussy tantrum is coming on. Inej heads it off by holding her up and she gets a tiny hand on her cheek, a happy gurgle as opposed to a mad screech. ]

In that order? [ Will she hold out long enough to sit through a bath? Hard to say. ]

Want me to wash up? [ Normally she does, a habit they've formed, but he asks. Just in case. They don't have nearly as much time anymore so getting things done where they can is a thing that's cropped up.

Either way, he pushes himself up to standing, starting to clean up. ]

I think we are going to try it in that order, but we might need to rearrange by the time we get to the bedroom.

[ mildly enough, as she rises to her feet -- but as she gets to her feet, ella's happy gurgling turns into fussing, a muted whine as inej shifts ella to lay a bit more comfortable against her chest, glancing toward the dishes. ]

You can just leave them in the sink. [ it's been a very long time, since kaz had a negative reaction to much of anything, but inej is pretty sure the reason why is because they don't test fate when they don't have to. and as she moves through the kitchen toward the hallway leading to their back bedroom, she adds: ] I'll be up early, anyway, so I can wash them, then.

[ ella tends to dictate inej's sleeping schedule, now, though inej is hopeful she'll sleep.

her hope dies a little, as ella's fussing from the kitchen to the bedroom turns into something a little bit louder, and inej has to rearrange her order of priority as she begins to get ready for bed. the bath is abandoned in lieu of getting ella into pajamas before she eats. and, thankfully, she's since mastered the art of feeding ella while also doing other things at the same time -- on this night, it's sitting near the sink of their bathroom to let it fill with warm water, so she can at least wash ella's face lightly before she goes to sleep.

thankfully, ella at least eats. and soon, she's all but passed out in inej's arms, feet kicking uselessly in a half-hearted squirm as inej gently washes her face, entering the bedroom after she's clean to gently deposit her into the bassinet in the the corner.]

There we go . . .

[ she murmurs, hands searching the bassinet gently to find the pacifier that had been thrown in protest earlier that day, placing it in ella's mouth as the baby sleepily blinks up at her, mumbling around it. and inej gently rocks the bassinet, voice quiet. ]

Now go to sleep.

[ please, for the love of all that is holy. ]

[ Kaz cleans up the rest of their brief dinner, rinsing off the plates before setting them in the sink. What's leftover gets put away, the baking dish joining the plates afterwards. He knows feeding time is a process best not disturbed, especially if Ella is starting to fuss, so he does his usual check on the back and front doors, satisfied when it's all locked up.

Eventually, he wends his way back to the room, just in time for Inej to be putting Ella in her bed. Whether she'll stay in it and sleep remains to be seen. He hobbles his way next to her, sliding a hand down her back and resting it at the base of her spine. ]

Any luck? [ Ella seems to be ready to doze off, blinking sleepily as she is. As Inej rocks the bassinet, she dozes off more, eventually going still aside from her deeper breathing. He steps away as quietly as possible, knowing this was such a tenuous thing. At the very least, she doesn't make any noise while he gets ready for bed.

And still appears to be silent when he flops onto it, satisfied but tired. ]

[ inej offers a soft noise of agreement, at kaz's question, letting him get ready for bed as she continues to gently rock the bassinet. and soon, ella lulls herself to sleep, her little chest rising and falling peacefully as she relaxes into her mattress. ]

Perfect.

[ quietly, as she edges backwards toward the bed. she's still not in pajamas, and so she silently steps around the bassinet toward the dresser, tugging open the drawer quietly to pull out a loose sleep shirt. and it takes only a few minutes for inej to tug that over her head, shedding her day clothes to the floor for now before she joins kaz on the bed, laying on her back with a massive exhale, relaxing into the mattress. ]

We shall see how long that lasts.

[ though she does seem pretty down for the count, which is good. ]

[ It's quiet now that Ella is down for the count, even as Inej steps over to the dresser to change. But then, she's always been silent on her feet; he doesn't see that going away any time soon.

He rolls towards her when she settles in, petting a hand down her arm before lacing their fingers together. Ah. This feels nice. They get their moments of affection in during the day, but sometimes it's few and far between. Most of their attention has rightfully gone to the incredibly cute baby just across the room. ]

A few hours would be nice. Half of one, at the very least. [ Enough to count as a long nap. Speaking of: ] I'll get up if she starts yelling.

[ He did manage to get some rest earlier. ]

[ the interlacing of their fingers prompts a faint smile, and inej rolls over a little bit to tuck her head into his shoulder, sighing to herself in comfort. ]

I will hold you to that.

[ it's half a joke. inej is going to wake up regardless, but if kaz wants to be the one to pick up the screaming infant, she won't complain.

still, he had dealt with her for the afternoon. which sounds like it had been a battle in and of itself. which reminds her: ]

Thank you for giving me a few hours today.

[ warmly, squeezing his fingers gently. ]

[ As soon as she pillows her head on his shoulder, he fully relaxes, letting out a long, slow breath. It's a comfortable habit, having her tucked so close, one he doesn't see either of them shaking any time soon.

He disentangles their fingers so he can run his thumb over her knuckles, soothing. And just another excuse to touch. ]

Of course. [ Honestly, she looked like she needed it. Ella had been particularly needy for her mother over the last week. He understood the need for space. ] It worked out in the end.

[ Honestly, he's surprised either of them dozed off at all. It has some lingering effect—he isn't ready to immediately pass out, which is the usual mode. Settling in some more, he leans his cheek against the top of her head, glad for the temporary peace. ]

[ she hums in agreement, letting her eyes close as he rests his cheek against the top of her head. it had been a long week. inej had been trying to create some amount of space, between herself and ella, which hadn't been received kindly. and while ella had slowly started to master the art of sleeping through the night, she still woke up and refused to rest until she was allowed to tuck herself against inej's side.

she knows that, one day, she'll look back on these memories fondly, and wish ella was small again. it's already begun. but sometimes, it's nice to have some amount of separation . . . some peace and quiet. like right now. ]

She is lucky she is cute.

[ murmured, eyes still closed, but also awake. it's hard to drop off immediately, when ella goes to sleep. mostly because inej is certain her body is used to just waiting for the calm before the storm. ]

Sounds a bit like someone else in this family.

[ He says, quite self aware at this point, with a bit of a grin. Ella, however, is too new to the world to know much better. Perhaps that will wear off over time. Or get worse. Hard to say for now, her full personality has yet to develop.

Though between the two of them, it's very likely she's going to be stubborn.

Not entirely ready to give over to sleep just yet, he moves his hand to trace down the lines of her fingers, repeating the motion back and forth as he tries to wind down some more. The nap from earlier is giving him a bit of energy. Though he also suspects they're both still awake, waiting for the other shoe to drop and the crying to start. ]

I don't know what's worse, the anticipation or being rudely awoken.

[ the comment prompts a quiet laugh, and inej shifts so she can push herself up onto her elbow, so she can look at him properly. her hair is a little askew, and inej arches her eyebrows a little, amused. ]

The anticipation.

[ quite soundly, in that, but kaz is (1) not a morning person and (2) really dislikes being woken up in general, so his indecision between the two options isn't a surrpise. she then lowers herself to gently kiss his forehead, tone still amused. ]

And you are lucky that you are cute. Most of the time.

[ sometimes, like today, he doesn't spark her irritation or ire. ]

[ Ah, he loves that laugh so much. His fondness for it has simply grown over time. He reaches up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, fingers then dropping to trace the line of her jaw. ]

Being awoken might beat it out by a hair. [ They both know he isn't a morning person by any stretch. He grins though, when she kisses his brow and responds with that jab. ]

They're going to anoint you a saint some day, for putting up with me.

Mmm, probably.

[ in response to his first comment? his second? both? who knows, as she tilts her head slightly into the touch of his fingers against her jaw, expression warm. ]

I think I put up with you because I love you.

[ thoughtfully, as if it's just occurred to her. ]

Not sure if that counts for sainthood, because I get something out of it, too.

Dunno, still seems you're qualified.

[ For a variety of other reasons. Most specifically: all the time she's spent making sure slavers get what's coming to them. Returning all those children to their families. Trying to make sure no one ever had her same story, if she could help it.

Because despite how well it's turned out, no one should have to go through that to end up happy.

He leans up a bit then, brushing a soft kiss to her jaw, right where his fingers had been. ]

I might be slightly biased.

I think you might be.

[ with a wrinkle of her nose, as kaz kisses her jaw, the feeling warm and lazy. it has been what feels like eons, since they've just hung out and talked, without interruption. and it has been worth it, obviously, but it's nice to just . . . be.

so she brushes his hair back a little, smile still present as she ducks forward to press her lips against his, kissing him gently. mindful that they still need to be quiet, obviously, but it's so rare that she can actually be affectionate, anymore. ]

But I can reap the rewards of your bias, so I'll keep your secret, when the application for sainthood gets processed.

[ There hasn't been a peep so far and he's glad for the few precious moments they're getting to do this. So often they fall into bed and barely have any energy, ready to simply catch up on sleep where they can. In the very first couple weeks, sometimes they wouldn't even make it into pajamas.

It definitely feels good to be kissed, uninterrupted. And to talk without a sudden shriek of delight or frustration. ]

There's an application process? [ He murmurs, returning her kiss, one hand resting at the small of her back. ] That sounds suspiciously Kerch-like.

It's very intensive.

[ she murmurs against his lips with a grin, returning the kiss with a soft laugh, threading her fingers through his hair lazily. there's not even really a want to go further, simply enjoying the peaceful and lazy exchange of affection.

( idly, she thinks to herself when the last time she slept with her husband, and she truthfully can't remember when they had longer than fifteen minutes to themselves. she really should get around to planning that weekend away . . . )

at any rate, kaz asked her a question, and she decides to shift closer, to be a bit more flush against him as she kisses him again, her voice quiet, amused. ]

At least sixty-seven pages long, it needs to be notarized twice, signed eighty-three times, with seven witnesses and a lot of lawyers . . .

[ and she presses a soft kiss to his jaw. ]

Your dream job, I think.

[ When her fingers thread through his hair, he sighs against her mouth. A happy sound, because it feels like it's been so long since they had time to do this. And he's always liked when she brushed his hair back.

Part of him wants a little more than that, to have her tug sharply. But he doubts they could get away with it. Perhaps they'll eventually convince Jesper and Wylan to take Ella for a day. Or get around to finishing that plan to have a weekend off.

Then again, he has a feeling most of that would be spent sleeping rather than doing anything else. It's been worth it, but he does miss sleeping with her.

Which is rekindled just a bit more when she presses closer. His fingers trace up a short ways on her back, drawing meaningless patterns. ]

Not enough threatening to be a real dream. [ Or perhaps that's built in, considering the lawyers involved. ] Would you even sign something eighty-three times?

[ He teases, returning another kiss, knowing full well she hates paperwork. ]

I would if it was for you.

[ she says with a quiet laugh, pressing forward with another kiss, this one a bit more insistent than the last, his fingers tracing along her spine. and she hums to herself before she decides to shift her weight a bit, lifting her legs to straddle his hips, pushing him (gently) onto his back.

it has been . . . awhile. and while inej isn't entirely sure how far they'll get, in exploring one another and enjoying each other's affection, she does know that she (1) likes kissing him from this angle and (2) feeling his weight beneath her hips. ]

Come here, paper pusher.

[ she murmurs, leaning down to give him a lingering kiss, grinning into it as she rests her hands against the mattress to stabilize herself.

offering a silent prayer to the saints that ella remains sleeping. ]

[ She presses a more insistent kiss to his mouth and whatever response he had crafted dies on his tongue. What does it matter, now that she's transferred her weight, straddling his hips? That small bit of interest blooms warmer and he brackets her waist with both hands.

Ghezen, he missed this. Even if it doesn't go much further, they haven't gotten to do this in a while. He leans into the lingering kiss, sliding his hands up her sides, bringing the fabric of her shirt up with the motion. So when he smoothes his hand across her back, it's bare skin he meets, a quiet exhale the indication he's enjoying this.

Not that she needs to hear it, they know each other well enough by now. But it does feel good to make it known, however silent they currently need to be.

Because so far, he doesn't even hear any fussing from Ella. Perhaps she really is sound. ]

If I wanted to push papers, I would've gone for a council position.

[ Horrifying. ]

OPEN POST 2020.

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