timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ what an annoyance. the gentle kisses feel wonderful, but are only leaving her wanting a little more than that, and when he finally does taste her, it draws a soft noise from her throat, tilting her head back a little.

his hands against her thigh feels divine. she feels warm, and part of her wants him to keep going, but the other part of her wants him to join her on the bed . . . and she's about to voice this option when she feels him tugging her underwear down, which she assists by lifting her hips . . . though she does need to move her legs in order to actually get her underwear off.

she shifts backwards a little on the bed, lifting her legs to allow the panties to be removed. her cheeks are a little pink from the warmth settling underneath her skin, and she reaches out to brush his hair back a little, the touch soft and affectionate. ]

I still don't want you to stop.

[ quietly, just in case he needed to hear it. but, after a blip of thought, after she settles back on her elbows: ]

But I want to make you feel good, too.

[ part of her is still grappling with the idea of the totality of the pleasure being focused on her. which she knows isn't actually the case, and that kaz gets something out of this, otherwise he wouldn't do it. (or, well, he probably still would, but he obviously enjoys doing this.) but it doesn't change the fact that she wants to focus attention on him, too. ]

[ She lifts her hips and helps him pull her underwear down and off, which really is a sight once she settles back down. The back of her dress is flared out underneath her legs and the front pushed all the way up to her hips still, the fabric clearly going to need ironing. Her legs look long this way, muscles tensing and loosening as she gets comfortable.

And there's a bit of shiny wetness from where his mouth's just been. It causes some color to rise in his face, a mirror to hers, his own body reacting to the sight.

He leans in and picks up where he left off, licking with the flat of his tongue, both hand skimming up her thighs. ]

This does feel good. [ Kaz flicks his gaze up to her briefly, seeing if the message comes across. Because the truth is, he could very nearly get off to this alone. Very nearly– he knows he'd have to touch himself at least a bit, to push himself over the edge.

Still, giving her this attention and seeing her reactions make him feel too hot all over, arousal layering on as he goes. ]

[ she does catch the meaning, and her expression reflects that, the uncertainty in her eyes softening a little.

but then, he decides to keep going, and the feeling of his tongue against her elicits another noise of approval as she keeps herself pushed up on her elbows, to watch.

something about him being between her legs, on his knees, eager to please her causes a warmth to spread underneath her skin, and she lets her leg drape over his shoulder again, tone quiet but nonetheless heard: ]

I don’t want you to find your release yet.

[ she has ideas, for that. and she has figured out (mostly on accident) that he genuinely enjoys being told what to do. so she may as well make him feel really good, too. ]

So take your time. [ as she adjusts the hem of her dress to settle along her hips. ] And don’t touch yourself.

[ Oh, so this is how she's going to play it? Really, he can't complain, since the hidden command in her tone scratches at a particular itch. It's not like he can't enjoy what they get up to when she doesn't boss him about. But there's something that sharpens the moment she does.

She adjusts the hem of her dress and says more, the words having their intended effect, leaving him breathing out a moan against her. His pants are now uncomfortable but he has no intention of straying from what she's demanded of him. Even if it's just to undo the front of his trousers.

Instead, he licks her more pointedly, breaking up the motion when he puts his mouth on her fully and sucks gently. He pulls away slowly, releasing her folds to press against her clit, applying pressure as he drags his tongue across the nub. His hands drag along her thighs and up to her hips, fingertips digging in just enough as he works them into her muscle.

Moving his mouth downwards, he teases at her entrance, the tip of his tongue just barely slipping in. Though he can't stop the groan that comes out when he tastes the wetness that's grown there, eager for more of it. He tips his head away just enough for a breath. And to swear, because he's completely addled; too hot all over, his cock an insistent press against the front of his pants. ]

Fuck, Inej.

[ he explores her with his tongue, and she groans to herself as he licks her, paying particular mind to her entrance. and when she feels his tongue press against it, a soft moan escapes as she forces herself to stay pushed up a bit, so she can watch.

he looks good, honestly, with his cheeks flushed and his hair a little mussed as he explores her with his mouth. she can tell that he’s uncomfortable, that he has to be hard by now. but he’s done as she’s asked, and not touched himself, focusing on her, instead. ]

Good.

[ she breathes, as he takes a breath. and while he does that, she shifts her weight to one elbow to delicately stroke herself once with her own fingers, sighing to herself. she’s slick, and right now, she feels the urge to try something a little more daring.

but, first things first, as she withdraws her fingers: ]

But you can do better.

[ she murmurs. ]

Keep your hands where I can see them.

[ He didn't think it possible but he flushes even deeper when she says good, the word hitting just right and firing along his nerves. It's just as potent as soft groan she'd given a moment ago, voicing her appreciation for what he'd been doing. She's usually so quiet that any sound is gratifying.

Of course, not much compares to her reaching down to touch herself while he watches, her small fingers stroking as she lets out a sigh. He lets out a groan at the sight, unable to take his eyes away. His gaze travels up, though, when she tells him what she wants, and he studies her face briefly.

At this point, it's probably safe to push a bit. Try something different. She seems assured and comfortable and he's willing to do anything to keep that going.

Still, he nods and carefully slides one hand further up her thigh, thumb grazing along the soft inside. Gently, he strokes a finger along the outside of her folds, feeling a small prickle of heat at how wet she's gotten. He slides that same finger to her entrance, glancing up at her curiously. ]

Okay? [ They've tried this before and it hasn't always worked. ]

[ it’s like walking the high wire, testing the limits. one wrong step and it all falls apart. but she’s comfortable, loose-limbed and warm, her breath hitching as he explores her with his fingers.

at his question, there’s only a moment of pause before she nods, sure of herself.

the only way she’s going to conquer this is to keep trying, after all. ]

I want you to keep going.

[ she murmurs, voice low. ]

[ There's a moment of pause, where he can tell she's thinking it over. Checking with herself to make sure she's still feeling alright. He doesn't pull away, just remains where he is until she nods.

Then she confirms it, voice a murmur, and he gets to work.

It hasn't always worked but it's worth another shot—he leans in to tongue her clit as he slides his finger in. The motion is careful, not wanting to push too fast and have her lock up. Just as gently, he pulls out and back in, stroking, his other hand petting along her hip.

He's all too aware of her reactions, keeping everything to a slower pace. She's relaxed right now but he knows how quickly that can change, how fast past demons can come knocking. Maybe tonight they'll leave her alone. ]

[ it can happen quickly, which is what’s so frustrating about it. she can be completely fine one moment and the next near tears and unable to breathe. she’s gotten better and nothing has been permanently damaged.

— well, mostly. she had the bright idea of trying to go down on him once, after going down on her was so successful. she had vomited for hours. she hasn’t been able to work up the nerve to try that again. not yet, anyway.

at any rate, she exhales slowly, as he enters her. the anticipation is the worst part, in fearing a reaction. but when he focuses on licking her too, it distracts her — and once her mind catches up, it feels too good to be anything but a positive experience. ]

Mmmmmhmm...

[ it’s a soft noise of approval, as he slowly fucks her — and she soon lays on her back completely, feeling a coiled warmth form in the bottom of her stomach as he continues to work. ]

I like that.

[ almost a little dazedly, drawing in a deep breath to let it out in a soft gasp as his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot. ]

[ She exhales slowly and he can tell she's trying to relax. Thankfully, she does, letting herself drop back onto the bed with a quiet hum.

He licks her a little less gently, especially as she gasps, wanting to draw out that feeling. Of course he notes where he'd been touching her and doesn't hesitate to stroke the same place. Her encouragement has sent a spark down his spine and he is idly wishing he could get his pants off.

But he's also loathe to move from where he is. That wins out.

So as she clearly lets herself relax more, he gently slips another finger in. It's a tighter fit that has him moaning as he sucks her off, providing a distraction as much he's simply enjoying this. Now both fingers feel out for that sensitive spot, stroking gently as he finds it. He moves his other hand up to her abdomen, thumb tracing the dip with a soft touch. ]

[ the addition of another finger causes the muscles in her stomach to tighten, an involuntary movement as she tightens around him —- which only causes the sensation of kaz applying delicate pressure against her to increase.

the stroking feeling inside her causes another shuddered gasp to escape, the sound ending in a groan. somewhere in the back of her head, inej knows that this is usually where it falls apart . . . but it doesn’t.

instead, her breathing gets a little more uneven. part of her wants him to stop, not for any bad reason, but because she wants more than his fingers. . . and the other part wants him to keep going.

if she finishes now, she may not be able to do more. better to ride the high, right? ]

Wait -

[ she says in a breath, controlling her breathing with a deep inhale. she doesn’t sound scared or freaked out whatsoever, but she definitely sounds like she’s trying to focus through the overwhelming wave of pleasure that’s rolling through her. ]

I want — [ how does she say this??? saints, the feeling of him inside her is distracting, and finding words at all, let alone in kerch, is difficult — ] I want you —- come onto the bed.

[ Her breathing goes unsteady but it doesn't sound like she's upset. Instead there's a gasp and a groan and she squeezes around his fingers, clearly enjoying the touch. He wants to see her come apart and is just thinking he wishes he could see her expression when she tells him to wait.

There's no panic in her voice so he doesn't pull away immediately, just pauses what he's doing and waiting. She clarifies that she wants him on the bed and really, who is he to say no? He slides his fingers out and sucks them clean when he sits back to admire the mess. It does give him a minute to recover some of his senses and once he does, he reaches for his nearby cane to pull himself up.

Kneeling for so long on just carpet had not been a good idea, so it might take a couple tries before he's up and joining her on the bed. ]

Hi. [ He says, echoing her greeting from earlier, right before he kisses her cheek. ]

[ there’s a grin, at the kiss to her cheek, before inej rolls over, straddling his hips neatly before ducking down to catch him in a proper kiss, sighing against his mouth.

( she isn’t sure why, but being able to faintly taste herself when she kisses him afterward scratches a very particular itch. ) ]

Hi.

[ she repeats softly with a slight grin, settling back on her heels just enough so she can unbutton the front of her dress. and as she does so, bare skin peeks out, and she remarks: ]

I did without the bra.

[ it’s said almost like an afterthought, as she leave the dress half undone, ready to be slipped out of before she dips down to press a kiss against his collarbone, hand dipping to delicately palm between his legs, the lightest of touches before she slowly undoes the button on his pants, murmuring: ]

I didn’t want to wear it for two hours just to take it off.

[ In a neat motion, she's got him on his back and is straddling his hips, pressing a better kiss to his mouth. Kaz sighs into it, liking that she doesn't balk at tasting herself. Or rather, actually seems to enjoy it.

When she pulls away, he doesn't grin but he does flash her a smile, one that becomes a surprised look. Both at her remark and the physical proof of her bared chest. She's never been very big but for some reason the sight undoes him every time.

(Probably just because it's her). ]

That's just sensible. [ He slides his hands up her sides to her chest, thumbs tracing along the bared curves along the top. Of course, his touch seems to pause as she cups him, a small sound working it's way out of his throat. It's so light it could barely count as a touch. But he's so keyed up that it doesn't matter.

Recovering some of his wits, he sits up enough to pull his shirt the rest of the way off, dumping it over the edge of the bed. Before he lies back down, he leans in to kiss her neck, right over her pulse. ]

[ she hums to herself at the feeling of his hands on her chest, the lips against her neck. she undoes his pants with a deft motion, sighing to herself as she dips her hand into his pants, trailing her fingers along his cock through his underwear.

he’s hard, and inej makes an executive decision. ]

I want these off.

[ she shifts her weight a bit further down, which means pulling away from him, but with a purpose as she gets off of him long enough to shed her dress completely. and when she does that, she moves to help tug his pants down, pressing a lingering kiss against his neck.

Once they’re totally off, she’ll get back on top of him again. but while he does that, she murmurs against his neck: ]

Remember, you can’t touch yourself.

[ just in case he thought that game was over. ]

[ He sighs when she finally gets his pants undone, hips lifting a bit into the soft touch. And then she's saying she wants the trousers off, clearly not taking no for an answer.

Not that he would stop her, it's about time the damn things came off. When she moves off of him, he pushes both pants and underwear over his hips, only slightly distracted by watching Inej unbutton her dress. He's glad for the help when she comes back over; his knee doesn't want to bend very much right now.

All of that falls by the wayside once she's resettled and his hands slide up her thighs and hips to curve against her waist. ]

No touching, I got it. [ As much as it's tempting, at least he can touch her. Which he keeps doing, one hand slipping up to gently cup her breast, brushing his thumb over the nipple. ]

[ oh, his leg is hurting. and she's about to ask if he's okay after she's resettled (careful not to put too much weight on his leg) when he shifts his attention to touching her again. it reassures her that he's fine -- or, at least, it's not so bad to stop.

he'll very likely regret this decision in the morning, but that's a problem for the future, not the present.

so she settles herself on his lap, the movement gentle as she returns her hands to his face, kissing him gently, resting her forehead against his. ]

I want to try.

[ she murmurs, and the confidence wavers just enough to show in a slight frown, her thumbs running along his cheeks, mostly to reassure herself. she doesn't look stressed or upset, but there's a definite hesitation, because: ]

But I don't want to ruin our night.

[ it's mostly the fear of ruining this feeling, of warmth and love and attention, with the unpredictable resurgence of her memories. ]

[ He returns the kiss just as gently, rubbing his nose to hers affectionately when she presses their foreheads together. His hands slide to her waist and up her back, more of a comfort than a tease. ]

If you want to try, we can try.

[ Unlike Inej, he doesn't feel the same type of hesitation. But then, his flare ups come from a different source, one that's been somewhat easier to conquer once he'd figured out the trick.

Inej's demons are a different sort. Some days they can't even get this far, but she's determined to keep going. ]

It won't be ruined. We made some progress. [ He slowly pets his hands down her back, searching for the right words. ] I'm just happy you're here. If it takes us years, then fine. If we never get there, that's fine too.

[ his words spark a faint smile, and sends a warmth through her that causes her to lean forward to kiss him again, shifting to slide her arms around his neck for a tight hug, exhaling slowly as she relaxes.

it's such a stupid thing, in the long run. because it is meaningless, in the end. being able to do this. and truthfully, it's not so much of a need, for her to be able to do this, but because she shouldn't have to sacrifice anything else to her past. she's already given enough.

she'll return to her attempt in a moment, but she wants to be lazily affectionate, first. ]

[ She kisses him and he kisses her back, shifting a little underneath her when she slides her arms around his neck. He smoothes his hands slowly up and down her back, fingers tracing the shape of her shoulder blades and the gentle slope of her spine.

Clearly, she's thinking. And soaking up some affection, which he's happy to give. Tilting his head, he presses his cheek to her hair and loops his arms around her middle, giving her a squeeze and then simply holding on.

This is what she deserves all the time. Everyday, if he could give it. Really, it's this that he misses when she's gone, more than anything else. Just being able to hold her close is enough, is more than he thought he'd ever get, especially with this much skin exposed.

But he can understand why she wants to try. Not only to create better memories of touch but because her old ones don't deserve to rule her forever. It's the same reason he keeps pushing through his fears, why he'd dared to break it through exposure. She should have all of him and he'll give her that, no matter what that ends up looking like. ]

[ the hug prompts a soft sigh, comfortable, before she pulls away just enough to kiss him again, though this time, she adds a purposeful roll of her hips, slow and gentle. ]

I love you.

[ she murmurs against his lips, shifting to kiss his cheek gently. she feels comfortable, and loose-limbed, and warm, and safe. so maybe tonight will be a good night after all. ]

[ The roll of her hips is slow, almost gentle, but that doesn't stop the flare of heat under his skin. He groans a little into her kiss, body reacting eagerly to the change. ]

I love you too.

[ More than anything or anyone else, that he's certain of. He doesn't add it though, feeling a bit like it's too much. That all the other words behind it will spill out—how he wouldn't care if Ketterdam burned to the ground if it meant he'd still have her.

Slipping his hands back down, he sets them on her waist as he returns her earlier motion, hips lifting to press up. Dipping his head down, he kisses her neck and nuzzles the spot after, a smile curving his mouth. ]

[ there's a tenuous moment when he pushes his hips against her where she stills, to allow the feeling to wash over her, before she sighs into his hair, comfortable. ]

I love you more.

[ she says quietly, with a soft laugh as she rocks her hips a bit more firmly, to feel him slide against her, a soft noise of pleasure escaping as she does so.

she's content to get used to this first, before she tries anything further, but she feels the itch underneath her skin, to keep going. still, she's figured out by now that slow and gentle tends to be the way to get anything accomplished. rushing is only going to lead to catastrophe. ]

Hmm, debatable.

[ Well, she certainly puts up with more. He runs the backs of his fingers up her sides when she stills, releasing a breath when she sighs into his hair, clearly not about to spring away.

Instead, she's rocking against him again, making him groan softly at the contact. Not only the friction from the motion but just the sheer idea that she's doing this. Trying it out, however slow and careful—rushing into it headlong is just a bad idea, as they've found out. He shifts his hips a little bit but tells himself to try and stay still. To let her set whatever pace she needs. ]

Stop showing my hair all your affection and come kiss me.

Mmm . . .

[ it's a thoughtful hum as she places a deliberate kiss against his temple, the roll of her hips stilling to nearly non-existent as she considers his request. ]

I don't think you get to tell me what to do.

[ she decides, pressing another kiss to his temple as she rolls her hips again, murmuring in his ear: ]

I would say you lost the privilege, but you never really had it to begin with.

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