♛ here is my muselist. ♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their name in the subject line! ♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy! ♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go.
[ Who knows, though? The entire theory is just that, a theory. An amusement at best.
At her question, he considers his words. Up until recently, touching anyone brought him a wave of disgust, a repulsion that kept him well away from coming in contact with a person. In the early days, immediately after stumbling out of the harbor, half drowned, he hadn't been able to handle touching anyone even with gloves on. Enough fist fights in the Barrel had cured him of that peculiarity fairly quick.
Now, he supposes, he'll need something similar: exposure. Do something enough that it becomes a habit.
Still— ]
Frustrated. [ His gaze drops to his hands momentarily, curling the fingers loosely into his palms. ] Not at you, just.
[ This. Himself. He hasn't gone through what she has and yet, she's the one holding her hand out time and again, without hesitation. ]
[ there's a soft noise of understanding, at that, before she pulls her legs up against her chest, her ankles crossed beneath her as she loops her arms around her knees, thoughtful. ]
I almost hit Nina, the first time she hugged me. And I still am getting used to Jesper.
[ it's said finally, with half a shrug. inej doesn't sound too bothered by it, because (1) nina could drop her where she stood any day of the week and twice on tuesdays and (2) nina understood, immediately, why inej's muscles had seized, why she had become so tense. and while she's never told jesper about her difficulty, inej is certain he wouldn't think twice. she can almost hear his how are you afraid of anybody, you're the scariest thing in the barrel in surprise. ]
I learned how to compartmentalize because I had to. [ she doesn't go into detail, because she doesn't necessarily have to. ] Now, I am learning how to . . . feel. And allow myself to feel it. And it is hard. It will likely never be easy.
[ all of this to say: ]
But you will learn how to exist fully, and so will I. It will just take time. And frustration, and mistakes. But it will happen; I truly do believe that.
[ they both deserve happiness, regardless of what cards the world has dealt them in the beginning. to hell with the rest. ]
no subject
[ Who knows, though? The entire theory is just that, a theory. An amusement at best.
At her question, he considers his words. Up until recently, touching anyone brought him a wave of disgust, a repulsion that kept him well away from coming in contact with a person. In the early days, immediately after stumbling out of the harbor, half drowned, he hadn't been able to handle touching anyone even with gloves on. Enough fist fights in the Barrel had cured him of that peculiarity fairly quick.
Now, he supposes, he'll need something similar: exposure. Do something enough that it becomes a habit.
Still— ]
Frustrated. [ His gaze drops to his hands momentarily, curling the fingers loosely into his palms. ] Not at you, just.
[ This. Himself. He hasn't gone through what she has and yet, she's the one holding her hand out time and again, without hesitation. ]
no subject
I almost hit Nina, the first time she hugged me. And I still am getting used to Jesper.
[ it's said finally, with half a shrug. inej doesn't sound too bothered by it, because (1) nina could drop her where she stood any day of the week and twice on tuesdays and (2) nina understood, immediately, why inej's muscles had seized, why she had become so tense. and while she's never told jesper about her difficulty, inej is certain he wouldn't think twice. she can almost hear his how are you afraid of anybody, you're the scariest thing in the barrel in surprise. ]
I learned how to compartmentalize because I had to. [ she doesn't go into detail, because she doesn't necessarily have to. ] Now, I am learning how to . . . feel. And allow myself to feel it. And it is hard. It will likely never be easy.
[ all of this to say: ]
But you will learn how to exist fully, and so will I. It will just take time. And frustration, and mistakes. But it will happen; I truly do believe that.
[ they both deserve happiness, regardless of what cards the world has dealt them in the beginning. to hell with the rest. ]