timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ She's here for two and a half weeks, which is slightly longer than her first visit. After the chaotic night of her arrival, things mostly smooth out. She shows up to a few meetings with the Dregs, perched in the rafters as usual. Her presence is comforting and her occasional comments insightful as always.

Aside from some usual business, he finds his schedule suspiciously free. Or perhaps not suspicious, as Anika practically shoves him out of his office at the beginning of the second week. Part of him is annoyed by it, but he can't put his whole heart into it, especially not when he can do this.

This being: taking an evening walk with Inej, showing her a new building in the university district that has a great view of the square– by design. No scaling the wall necessary. It has a garden attached which is mostly fresh turned earth, things planted for the autumn bloom. Mostly, he likes it because there's relative quiet and being recently constructed, the bricks are laid evenly. Less likely to trip. ]

I didn't get to ask– how's your family?

Fine, and safe.

[ warmly, as she walks with him, her eyes scanning the square. taking in the city. it’s bittersweet, because she knows she has to leave soon... but a peaceful evening walking her city with kaz is a lovely thing. even with the knowledge that she has to leave soon. ]

My mother asks me about you.

[ mildly, as they walk. ]

Edited 2020-06-02 01:55 (UTC)

Good.

[ He'll do anything to keep them that way. Ketterdam is far but he would extend his reach however was needed. Inej deserves to have her family as long as possible– not only to make up for the years she didn't have them but to spare the inevitable grief of loss.

It's been years since his father and brother were alive and he still misses them. Sometimes, he wonders what his father would think of him now; he'd always been an honest man. ]

What does she say?

Good things.

[ asking inej if he treats her well and whether he’s good enough for her and her dreams. Inej avoids most of the personal prying; instead, she focuses on the obvious: ]

I tell her you are safe, and happy. She enjoys hearing that. [ which is true. ] And she prays for your safety.

[ He feels a small bit of relief, surprised by how tense he was to begin with. Meeting the Ghafas had made him more nervous than breaking into the Ice Court or dealing with Van Eck. Most of it had come from not knowing what to expect, how they'd react to someone like him being around their daughter.

They'd ended up being the nicest people he's met in several years. Somehow, that made his nerves worse—he didn't want to disappoint them. Which he was almost certain to do, since he's annoyed Inej enough with stupid decisions over the years. ]

Relative safety. [ Which she knows. The Barrel is unpredictable. ] I imagine you had a lot to catch up on. Or still do.

Some things.

[ inej will likely never go into detail about what happened to her, when she was kidnapped and sold. her parents don't need to know, though they can likely figure it out.

but some things, she shares. some things, she is proud of. like how she can defend herself, now, and how no one will ever do that to her again. how when a man attempts to put a hand on her without her mission, he suddenly loses his hand at the wrist.

those things, they can know. but the menagerie will go to the grave with her. ]

But I think they are happy, with me. [ which is the most important thing, really, as inej gently bumps her shoulder into his. ] They can sleep well, knowing that I will be safe.

[ as safe as she can ever be, anyway. ]

Not the Menagerie, then.

[ No, they probably don't need to know what happened there. Sharing would be painful on both sides—he's already wished he had met her sooner, to spare her any time in that place. Her parents would likely feel more grieved about it, as trapped on the other side of the world as they were. ]

I'd never seen happier people. [ When they'd all reunited, he'd stayed a distance away, letting them have their moment. He'd known people could get so happy they cried, but he'd never actually seen anyone do it until then.

Though he can certainly understand it. A family back together. Inej approaching safety and her life on her own terms. Kaz smiles a bit as she nudges him and he reaches for her hand, not a single tremble going through him. ] Have you told them what it's like, chasing slavers?

[ she shakes her head, at mention of the menagerie—indeed, her parents would be spared that. but she grins a little, at both her parents’ happiness and what it was like to chase slavers, and inej takes his hand without a second thought. ]

I’ve told them I am changing our world for the better.

[ she says as she squeezes his fingers.]

And that the captains of the other ships don’t cross my path.

[ because they’re afraid. ]

I think my father enjoys the image.

Barely a year in and they're already afraid.

[ Just proves they're cowards, the lot of them. It's always satisfying to hear that her reputation has preceded her, even out on the ocean.

He tugs her hand towards a set of stairs. They're old, crooked, the gaps filled in with moss and weeds. But if his memory serves correctly, there's a good view at the top. ]

This way.

[ the first comment earns a soft laugh, but she allows herself to get tugged toward a set of stairs. the stairs themselves cause her eyebrows to arch slightly, because they're the antithesis of the easy flat road they were just walking on . . .

inej knows this city like the back of her hand. and so she knows where the good views of the city are, and where they're lacklustre. she's pretty sure where this staircase leads, but she squeezes his fingers as they begin to climb. ]

I don't mind staying down here.

[ as a reminder; kaz's leg is going to hurt, at the end of all of this. but she takes the stairs carefully, mindful of where she puts her feet. some of the stones are loose, after all. ]

Careful not to fall back the way we came.

I'm always careful.

[ Perhaps not always. The Ice Court had been risk after risk. Sometimes that's all his days are full of, even if he calculates for most of it.

An outcome going awry is always a possibility.

Still, he is careful as he ascends, the stairs occasionally worn away enough in some spots that it proves to be tricky walking. His cane helps more than usual, finding the loose stones or soft spots of dirt before his feet do.

It's a few minutes of steady climbing and relative silence. When they get to the top, it plateaus, more grown over stone and an abandoned half structure with a bench. It had been in moderate disrepair when he'd first found this place and it's gotten worse, a forgotten part of the city.

But the angle is just right to see the curve and jut of the government district, the little peaks of Stadhall and towards the left, the unmistakable spires of Ghezen's hand. ]

My brother and I found this, when we first got to Ketterdam. [ He hasn't been back since, for a variety of reasons. ]

[ the city is truly beautiful, and as the view comes into . . . well, view, inej is struck by how beautiful the city looks like from above. it truly is a beautiful monstrosity, ketterdam, in only the way ketterdam can be.

it's somehow more beautiful in this little abandoned part of the city, a forgotten place that no one goes to. in that vein, it doesn't seem to surprise inej that kaz found this place . . . but as she's about to ask, kaz answers her own question, and her expression softens.

speaking about his family is rare, and jordie even rarer. it makes coming here feel deeply personal, and inej is quiet before she steps next to him, leaning her cheek against his shoulder briefly before gently tugging him toward the bench. he should sit; his leg had to have hurt by now. but as they move toward it: ]

Was it your idea to climb the stairs, or his?

[ For a little bit, he just stares at it all, taking in the sight. His memory of this place is a bit fuzzy but he knows the landscape they're looking at has changed quite a bit since he was here last. More buildings have filled in spots closer to the edge of the government district, though half of that knowledge is simply from living here long enough to have heard about it.

It's not as cloudy now as it was then, he thinks. Nor is he as full of anxious energy or slightly hungry. Inej's cheek on his shoulder shakes him out of the comparisons, reminding him that it's ok to be here.

He doesn't object to being nudged into sitting, lowering himself onto the bench with some relief. ]

His. It was always his idea. I wasn't very adventurous, then.

[ she sits next to him easily, stretching her legs in front of her, crossing them at the ankles. she rests her shoulder against his, watching the city, listening to him speak.

it's moments like these, that she truly craves. jealously guards. moments that she has the opportunity to know kaz in a way other people don't. the thought about an unadventurous kaz brings a warm smile to her face, as she watches the city, resting her head on his shoulder. ]

He sounds like a troublemaker.

[ amused, her eyes on the horizon. it was always his idea speaks volumes, even if kaz doesn't go into detail. ]

I wish I could have met him; I think we would have gotten along.

He used to blame me for all sorts of dumb stuff; chores that weren't finished, nicked sweet rolls. Dad always knew it was him.

[ Back then, it had been a constant annoyance, this older brother who hassled him about everything. Who would somehow laugh it off and they'd get right back to getting along again. To this day, he's not really sure how he managed it.

As she rests her head on his shoulder, he settles his hand on her knee, leaning the slightest bit back. ]

Probably, he was better with people. [ All those friendly skills went into Jordie's genetics and not his. ]

[ the notion of Kaz allowing anyone to think he had done anything is a humorous one, and her lips curved upward, into a faint smile. a younger Kaz doing whatever his older brother told him to do ... ]

You sounded like an adorable child.

[ a bit ruefully; the barrel tends to ruin those. ]

Or perhaps your brother was just that unbelievable, if your brother always took your side.

I was a brat, really.

[ His temper had always been a problem. When he'd crawled out of the harbor, he'd sharpened it to a fine point, used it as a weapon so he wasn't swallowed whole by Ketterdam's lack of mercy. ]

Maybe. He was very easy going. [ Too easy going for a city like this. Kaz stares out towards the water for a moment, thinking about what will never happen. It stings, but it isn't the sharp jab he carried for years—getting rid of Pekka had granted him that, at least. ]

Where are you sailing off to next?

[ kaz is still a brat, is what inej wants to say, but kaz shifts the subject back to her, and she relaxes a bit more against his side, the weight a little heavier. ]

I am not sure. Things have been fairly quiet, around here. Or as quiet as they ever are.

[ it's said after a moment, watching the water. ]

I may sail north, but it depends on the weather.

[ to track down leads. and also to see nina, if possible. ]

[ She leans against him some more and he finds he likes it, her warmth bleeding through his suit coat. Tentatively, he loops his arm around her waist, hoping it will be alright. ]

All the action happened at the front end. [ Now it's just been the day to day stuff, not nearly as exciting as a gang fight. ]

If it stays quiet, maybe I'll go with you some day. [ Depending on whether he can get the Dregs into shape enough that they won't fall apart without him around. He's never considered taking time away, but things have changed. ]

[ it's almost normal, hanging out watching the water near the top of the city. it's almost romantic, if they were the type of people to really care about that type of thing.

the next part, though, is a genuine surprise, and inej blinks before she tilts her head slightly to look at him, arching her eyebrows. ]

You would go?

[ kaz leaving ketterdam for any reason for any period of time is hard to envision, but -- ]

It would mean months on a boat.

[ with. people. ]

[ It's definitely unexpected of him. But, he thinks, he's been in Kerch his entire life—first Lij and then Ketterdam.

(And okay, a brief foray into Fjerda).

The Barrel means a lot to him, especially now that he runs a large portion of it. Just. There's a lot to still see.

Like Ravka. He has no idea what Inej's home country looks like. He's only gotten vague impressions from hers and Nina's descriptions. It's not even that far from Kerch, relatively speaking. Not like the Wandering Isle or Novyi Zem. ]

It would take some planning. [ Though there's definitely a "yes" in how he says it. ] I'm Kerch, Inej, we're practically born to like ships.

[ That's what happens when one's country is a small island. ]

It is not the boat that is the problem I am thinking of.

[ a bit dryly, as she (gently) elbows him in the side for the sass, though she soon returns to resting her head against his shoulder.

she has no real concerns about kaz and touching, on the boat. no one in her crew would be stupid enough to make kaz brekker uncomfortable. but there is little privacy and room, and inej can see kaz quickly deciding sleeping on the deck is preferable than dealing with the close quarters after about a week at sea. ]

But you are always welcome, whenever you would like to go.

Sounds like I'll have to work on some things, then.

[ Not only making the Dregs self-sustainable—though that's been cycling through his head for a while, he thinks he has a pretty good plan in place. There's also the other unspoken part of her worry: close quarters. Her crew seems sensible enough not to touch him on purpose, but it's almost impossible to get by in such a small space without accidentally bumping into someone.

Then again, he didn't always have the third floor of the Slat to himself. So it would be a bit like the earlier days.

There's also a matter of what space he'd be occupying. If it's her cabin, that really left little room for any kind of privacy; not that the crew's quarters would afford him any better. But he could handle that better than being alone with Inej and that ever present tension between them. The one that's here even now, despite how comfortable it feels as he slowly slides his thumb back and forth along her side.

Because there's always that part of him that's greedy, that wants more. That's thinking about returning her kiss. ]

If the crew's too rowdy, I'll come knocking on your door.

[ the movement against her side causes an odd spark of emotion in her. it's hard to describe, really, but inej settles on satisfying. that she can sit like this, with him, and not be worried. not feel the familiar crawl underneath her skin, the urge to get away.

affection without feeling afraid is a wonderful feeling, indeed. ]

You could just stay in my room.

[ kaz shares his room with her, after all. though figuring out how to fit two bed areas in her small quarters is a bit hard. a larger bed might be possible, though. ]

And avoid the conflict.

[ because inej is 100% sure it will result in conflict. at least if kaz is snappish with her, inej has no qualms of putting him in his place. ]

Would there be space?

[ He's seen her quarters, it's fairly small. Well, in terms of a ship it's a lot, given she has a room to herself that doesn't function as any other kind of space. But still. ]

I'm not going to start a fight with your crew. [ Uh. ] Not on purpose.

[ There, that's closer to the truth. He rubs people the wrong way all the time, starting a fight by existing is very possible. ]

Inej.

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