[ There's a brief respite, when he turns over. The blank of her wall makes it easier for him to focus. Or rather, not focus so intensely.
Except it doesn't last long, because he hears her sigh and then feels her move around. Which wouldn't be a problem, normally. But her bed is smaller than his and any turn puts them closer together. She's turned towards him, curled up close, her forehead pressed between his shoulder blades. He freezes, feeling that vague skin crawling shiver go through him. She's real and alive and not a horror of his past. It takes a few tries before he gets over that mental hurdle, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Then he's more concerned with the fact that she's so close. It almost feels wrong. Maybe he's just making something out of nothing though. It isn't like she did it on purpose, she's just sleeping. They're friends. Just yesterday, he took a nap on her lap. So he really needs to ignore the heat that's spiked through his gut over this. And also that whole urge to turn over and hold her. That's definitely not a platonic thing. Nor does he think he could even do it, not when he doesn't even have a shirt on.
Honestly, it might be a good idea to just get up. Then again, he doesn't want to wake her up just yet. He isn't exactly keen to get up either, warm under the covers and away from the chill of the sea air.
So he's stuck here. Until she wakes. Or until he can miraculously fall back asleep enough to ignore everything. Doubtful. ]
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Date: 2020-10-22 03:47 pm (UTC)Except it doesn't last long, because he hears her sigh and then feels her move around. Which wouldn't be a problem, normally. But her bed is smaller than his and any turn puts them closer together. She's turned towards him, curled up close, her forehead pressed between his shoulder blades. He freezes, feeling that vague skin crawling shiver go through him. She's real and alive and not a horror of his past. It takes a few tries before he gets over that mental hurdle, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Then he's more concerned with the fact that she's so close. It almost feels wrong. Maybe he's just making something out of nothing though. It isn't like she did it on purpose, she's just sleeping. They're friends. Just yesterday, he took a nap on her lap. So he really needs to ignore the heat that's spiked through his gut over this. And also that whole urge to turn over and hold her. That's definitely not a platonic thing. Nor does he think he could even do it, not when he doesn't even have a shirt on.
Honestly, it might be a good idea to just get up. Then again, he doesn't want to wake her up just yet. He isn't exactly keen to get up either, warm under the covers and away from the chill of the sea air.
So he's stuck here. Until she wakes. Or until he can miraculously fall back asleep enough to ignore everything. Doubtful. ]