[ being pulled under by the tide is an apt description. that is how it feels like, sometimes - like drowning, no matter how hard to try to swim. but something shifts in his demeanor, when he says it, the tiniest hitch of breath before he asks if she wants dinner.
she lets it go, instead humming to herself before sitting up a bit, so she can look at him. her expression shifts a little, from a good-natured tired to something a little more closed-off. anxious, maybe? but she quells that nerve to lean forward to gently kiss him, her hands finding his face. ]
I need to tell you something, first.
[ it had been her proverbial homework, from her therapist. who insisted that avoiding discussing it and continuing to push herself was only going to be more harmful in the long run. the weight had been resting with her the entire way home, and while inej was certain that kaz would understand whatever boundary she put in place, the nasty voice in the back of her mind continued to claw at her, heleen telling her that she was just going to wind up being alone. and unloved.
a stupid thought, considering everything. and an irrational one. but she still finds herself summoning some level of nerve, and said nerve fails her for a moment before she tips her head forward, resting her forehead against his chest to seek some level of comfort. or maybe an ounce of bravery. ]
But I don't know where to start.
[ it's a murmur, and a slightly frustrated one, as she curls her fingers into his shirt. ]
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Date: 2021-07-22 01:54 pm (UTC)she lets it go, instead humming to herself before sitting up a bit, so she can look at him. her expression shifts a little, from a good-natured tired to something a little more closed-off. anxious, maybe? but she quells that nerve to lean forward to gently kiss him, her hands finding his face. ]
I need to tell you something, first.
[ it had been her proverbial homework, from her therapist. who insisted that avoiding discussing it and continuing to push herself was only going to be more harmful in the long run. the weight had been resting with her the entire way home, and while inej was certain that kaz would understand whatever boundary she put in place, the nasty voice in the back of her mind continued to claw at her, heleen telling her that she was just going to wind up being alone. and unloved.
a stupid thought, considering everything. and an irrational one. but she still finds herself summoning some level of nerve, and said nerve fails her for a moment before she tips her head forward, resting her forehead against his chest to seek some level of comfort. or maybe an ounce of bravery. ]
But I don't know where to start.
[ it's a murmur, and a slightly frustrated one, as she curls her fingers into his shirt. ]