wraithes: (010.)
unarmored. ([personal profile] wraithes) wrote in [community profile] timewasting2020-09-27 05:30 pm

modern au kanej.

a cute gif will go here eventually.
ketterdamn: (huddle)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-11 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She leans forward and there's a surge in the pit of his stomach. One that's torn between delight and disgust. The latter is his usual reception to most touching, especially of skin, though there's a bit of disgust with himself for moment of wanting.

She's been through enough. And they're just friends, besides. ]


When, not if? [ Doesn't that sound like a promise?

He leans forward to help stack the containers and gather the napkins, motions a bit slow because he definitely still feels the dizziness of drink. ]


As poor an idea as it is, I'm tempted to sleep here. [ Getting up to go to his room feels like a monumental effort. ]
ketterdamn: (what)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ Is he looking forward to it? There's definitely that part of him that is taking the theoretical biting and running with it. Not so much the vampiric biting though. Just the whole part with her mouth being near his neck.

Thankfully, there's just a small beat of silence while he furiously tries to think of how to answer. And then the subject has switched to something safer. ]


I can get up. [ Well, mostly. There's a combined use of his cane and her held out hand that gets him back to standing. He sways, alcohol making him unsteady, and the light grip on her hand tightens a fraction. ]

If we both topple, neither of us are speaking of it.

[ What happens after being drunk stays in this house. ]
ketterdamn: (lain)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
My point stands.

[ If he causes them to fall he definitely won't want to talk about it. The sheer idea is mortifying enough to feel like it bolsters him through some of the dizziness as they start heading to his room.

Well, it's the mortification and the warm press of her against his side. He's glad the lights in the house are dimmed because he can feel some color working its way into his cheeks. Stop being ridiculous, he thinks, because it's just an arm looped around his middle. They were closer, on the couch.

It takes much of his focus to walk the short distance, even with help. There's a brief moment in the hallway where he sways off-balance, cane point landing harshly as he leans towards the wall so they don't fall over. ]


Why did I let Jes convince me to drink more? I'm going to strangle him.
ketterdamn: (triumph)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 03:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well, morning will tell how successful he was.

[ The pleasant buzzing under his skin takes his usual grumpiness out of his words. Instead he sounds more amused by the idea.

Set straight by Inej, he pulls himself away from the wall and they keep going the few more steps to his room. It's a weaving kind of walk, one he's grateful to have both Inej and his cane for. The cane point lets him know where the ground is, which is hard to concentrate on with his head spinning like it is.

Soon enough, they make it to his room and he carefully sits on the edge of it as she flops back inelegantly. While she's flopped, he struggles a bit to toe his shoes off but eventually gets it, kicking them under the bed. All he wants now is out of this damn suit. The hazard of joining the group for drinks after work: he doesn't have time to change. Nor does he usually want to, since it's never a situation where he ends up this drunk and thoroughly uncomfortable in his button up.

After the shoes, he pulls his jacket and tie off, tossing them onto the nearby chair. It takes several uncoordinated tries to get the buttons undone on his shirt but he manages it and tosses that in the direction of the chair as well. As for whether it makes it, he'll see in the morning. He'll get his trousers off in a minute but this is better at least. With a sigh, he flops back onto his pillows. ]


Made it. Are you going to make it?
ketterdamn: (Default)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Now that he's settled against the pillows, he feels the drowsiness start to catch up. The world is still spinning a bit but he feels pretty alright. His room is cooler—or maybe it's just the lack of clothes—and it feels nice. ]

I said, are you going to make it? [ As in back to her room. Did she partially fall asleep there for a second? It's funny to think about. ]

Or are you going to take a nap where you sit?
ketterdamn: (huddle)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Maybe this is a bad idea. Or maybe he's crossed a line, because she seems to hesitate before giving him an answer.

Which—he should've known better, than to leave it as an open invitation. He's familiar enough with the work she'd done for Heleen to understand it could be a sore spot. It's not like they know each other so well to be sharing a bed without it being a loaded situation.

Or maybe he's just making something out of nothing. Because then she's flopping on the pillows and making herself comfortable.

Carefully, he sits up and hobbles to his dresser, digging out two shirts and a pair of sleeping pants. One of the shirts gets tossed to her, aimed right at her face. It hits the pillow instead. ]


If you're going to make yourself at home, here.

[ He sits on the end of his bed, turned away as he pulls his own shirt on and changes into the more comfortable pair of pants. ]
ketterdamn: (lain)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[ They finish changing right around the same time and he quirks a bit of a smile when she comments on his height. He hears her flop on the pillow and uses that cue to turn around and move to do the same, briefly stopping to pull his covers down so he can crawl under them.

It's in the brief silence as they're both laying there that he feels a tinge of embarrassment at her question. That isn't quite a question. Statement? Whatever. ]


Wouldn't know, haven't had one.

[ Neither boy or girl. There hadn't been time, before. Or money, for that matter. Or circumstances. Basically his life has been a wreck up until recently.

And then he just simply didn't want to be touched. ]
ketterdamn: (leather)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She admits to not having had one either and it...makes sense. It's also weirdly relieving, in a way. Because this is one spot where Jesper could never understand him. His friend was charming and handsome, as well as good-natured. People were drawn to him like sun to flowers. And he was always willing to go on a date, see how it panned out, have a little fun.

The fact that he's been with Wylan for almost a year now says volumes about their relationship, quite frankly. ]


They wouldn't have deserved you if the idea of Heleen was enough to make them run.

[ She's monstrous but that's even more reason to hold one's ground.

But if they're sharing, into the darkness of his room: ]


I don't like people touching me. [ And touching is a pretty significant part of a relationship, isn't it? It's at direct odds with what he'd want. But stepping over those hurdles is almost too much to bear.

So he simply doesn't put himself in a situation where it'll come up. Jes calls it giving up. He likes to think of it as pragmatic. ]
ketterdamn: (think about it)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-12 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There's another sense of relief when she says she doesn't like being touched either. Considering what Heleen had her doing, he can't blame her at all for feeling that way. Just thinking about all those strange hands makes his skin crawl.

It also makes him feel slightly furious, underneath the drunken tired haze. But, he supposes, this was why he brought Heleen to court. Or is attempting to. ]


A bit. [ Tomassen had suggested it. Especially since part of the case had been mental and emotional damages. Such a clinical way to put it. ]

It's never been that pressing. [ He'd wanted to get a job and stable housing first. And now he works long hours. By the time he gets home, he doesn't want to think about going out again. Or attempting to socialize with strangers in order to date.

There's also the matter of him being a difficult personality. Frankly, he's saving him and others from the trouble. ]
ketterdamn: (huddle)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-13 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ She mentions it being more about the why and he feels himself cringe, just a bit, getting hit by a flicker of a memory. Of too soft and waterlogged skin, the chill of water on his wrists. Her voice seems to get louder and clearer as she turns and even though it's too dark to see anyone's face, he turns away and lets out a small, shaky sigh into his pillow.

Subsequently, he doesn't take her hand. ]


Maybe. [ It seems insurmountable. And she's probably right, that it would help to talk about it. But the idea of giving it voice to a complete stranger is nearly paralyzing. He can scarcely think about it for himself. ]

Night, Inej.
ketterdamn: (think about it)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-13 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ Perhaps it's the drink but he sleeps really well. Better than he has in a while. Though that might also be from going to bed at some time before 3am, which is sort of early for him. He never moves too much but he does roll over at some point.

And the next thing he knows, he's blearily waking to the scant brightness of his room. Morning of some kind, though he has no idea what time it is. It's usually hard to tell since he specifically has heavy curtains to block most of the light.

After the light, he's aware of warmth and weight along his shoulder, which has him pausing in confusion. And then he's turning his head just enough to see Inej curled close, her long hair all in a tangle across the pillow. Part of him wants to move, a small well of panic surging up in his throat. The other part of him is so tempted to roll towards her and hold her closer. Which is. Not good.

She's his roommate and his friend. Not anything more than that. He's not even sure he could handle touching her so much.

So unlike him, he's paralyzed with indecision and only moves enough to stretch his bad leg out. ]
ketterdamn: (what)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-13 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Well, that answers the question at least, as to whether she was aware of what happened or not. He didn't think she was, considering the bit of conversation he remembers from last night. About her not really wanting to be touched, either. She also isn't one to play games. If she wants something, she says as much.

So while he's relieved when she sits up and moves away, he also feels...that niggle of disappointment. It's fleeting and an uncomfortable thought. Seems like he's been having a lot of those lately. ]


Morning. [ He greets, voice scratchy from sleep, granting her an expression bordering on amusement. ]

Tried to make a nest for Lizabeta in your sleep?
ketterdamn: (leather)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-10-14 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Sensible.

[ Though despite the tangles, he thinks he likes seeing it down. Maybe that's just because it's rare to see? It's not like he catches her when she first wakes up, typically. ]

Not comfortable to sleep in? The braid, I mean.

[ He has no idea. There had been a point where his hair had gotten nearly to his chin, but that was long ago. Now he's quite strict about keeping it trim. ]

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