[ She mentions it being more about the why and he feels himself cringe, just a bit, getting hit by a flicker of a memory. Of too soft and waterlogged skin, the chill of water on his wrists. Her voice seems to get louder and clearer as she turns and even though it's too dark to see anyone's face, he turns away and lets out a small, shaky sigh into his pillow.
Subsequently, he doesn't take her hand. ]
Maybe. [ It seems insurmountable. And she's probably right, that it would help to talk about it. But the idea of giving it voice to a complete stranger is nearly paralyzing. He can scarcely think about it for himself. ]
[ she knows, at hearing the shake in his sigh, that she's pushed too much. and it's really only compounded when he rolls onto his side, away from her. she's about to apologize, to murmur that she's sorry, when he wishes her good night. and inej decides to just let it end, there, her eyes drifting shut.
sometime during the night, she moves in her sleep. and honestly, she has no dreams. none that she can remember, anyway. but she does wake up, bleary-eyed and her hair somewhat askew, her face slightly tucked into kaz's shoulder.
it takes her a moment or two to realize where she is. that, coupled with the groggy feeling of waking up after a night of drinking, is enough to want her to just tuck her head back into her pillow. and giving herself roughly two seconds to think about it, inej decides to do just that, relaxing in a breath against his arm, her face still tucked into his shoulder as she drifts back into a light sleep.
in a moment, she'll care. and probably be embarrassed. but for now, sleep beckons again. ]
[ Perhaps it's the drink but he sleeps really well. Better than he has in a while. Though that might also be from going to bed at some time before 3am, which is sort of early for him. He never moves too much but he does roll over at some point.
And the next thing he knows, he's blearily waking to the scant brightness of his room. Morning of some kind, though he has no idea what time it is. It's usually hard to tell since he specifically has heavy curtains to block most of the light.
After the light, he's aware of warmth and weight along his shoulder, which has him pausing in confusion. And then he's turning his head just enough to see Inej curled close, her long hair all in a tangle across the pillow. Part of him wants to move, a small well of panic surging up in his throat. The other part of him is so tempted to roll towards her and hold her closer. Which is. Not good.
She's his roommate and his friend. Not anything more than that. He's not even sure he could handle touching her so much.
So unlike him, he's paralyzed with indecision and only moves enough to stretch his bad leg out. ]
[ she's moved to more wakefulness as he shifts, and inej blinks herself awake, lifting her head slightly to find herself . . . extraordinarily close to kaz. who is very warm. and honestly comfortable.
he doesn't seem to necessarily mind, but there's a slight flush to her cheeks as she detangles herself, pushing her hair out of her face as she sits up a little, stifling a yawn. ]
Sorry.
[ a little . . . awkwardly, blearily looking around the room to get a grip on her surroundings a bit. her hair is a bit all over the place, and inej scrubs her face with a hand to wake herself up a bit more before she attempts to push her hair into something resembling order. it is mostly a failure. ]
Good morning.
[ she adds, with something of a sheepish smile as she looks over at him. he looks somewhat . . . well, undone. his hair falling into his eyes a bit. ]
[ Well, that answers the question at least, as to whether she was aware of what happened or not. He didn't think she was, considering the bit of conversation he remembers from last night. About her not really wanting to be touched, either. She also isn't one to play games. If she wants something, she says as much.
So while he's relieved when she sits up and moves away, he also feels...that niggle of disappointment. It's fleeting and an uncomfortable thought. Seems like he's been having a lot of those lately. ]
Morning. [ He greets, voice scratchy from sleep, granting her an expression bordering on amusement. ]
[ Though despite the tangles, he thinks he likes seeing it down. Maybe that's just because it's rare to see? It's not like he catches her when she first wakes up, typically. ]
Not comfortable to sleep in? The braid, I mean.
[ He has no idea. There had been a point where his hair had gotten nearly to his chin, but that was long ago. Now he's quite strict about keeping it trim. ]
If I sleep in it, my hair gets very wavy. Impossible.
[ moreso than it is now, anyway, and she lets her hair fall around her shoulders, giving up on taming her mane of hair and instead turning to face him a bit more completely, tucking her feet underneath herself. ]
Your hair isn't exactly perfectly put together either, you know.
[ She attempts to untangle more of her hair and then seems to give up. He can't blame her really, it looks like it would need some serious brushing. A time consuming process for certain.
He gets the urge to reach out and continue where she left off, but he pushes that away. Because it's silly and shouldn't be indulged. Too intimate. ]
Oh I'm aware. [ On both counts. Though he does run a useless hand through his hair. Which probably just musses it more than it helps. ]
Did you sleep well?
[ Considering how comfortable she looked, probably. But he is curious. Since he definitely slept much better than he usually did, which was strange. ]
[ she says, her wry look shifting into something a bit warmer. watching his hair fall everywhere again, her lips curving into a faint smile.
faintly, she realizes she’s still wearing his shirt, which is still huge on her. and her shirt and bra are on the floor somewhere behind her, which she’ll need to grab on her way out. ]
I think I need to get whatever mattress you have; you melt right into it.
[ She's giving him this faint smile and he isn't sure what to do with that. It's probably from his hair flopping right back to where it had been, but the expression is just. Warm. Almost too tender. He has a hard time meeting her eye so his gaze drops.
Probably wasn't a good idea, since she's still wearing his shirt. Which hangs loose everywhere, including the collar. It's nearly off her small shoulders and dipping low on her chest.
Ah. Okay. He turns his head to look more towards the ceiling, trying not to blush. ]
Sure I've got the brand bookmarked somewhere. I'll send it to you.
[ Because that's the logical thing to do instead of what his mind conjures. Which is: just tell her she can stay in here sometimes. Seriously what? ]
Breakfast? Or— [ He finally picks up his phone to glance at it. Yeah, still morning. ] —okay, breakfast.
[ Sitting up carefully, he stretches his arms up, shaking off more of the sleepiness. Really, he could probably go back to bed. But falling back asleep while she was here seemed...rude. ]
[ he gets up and stretches, which causes the bottom of his shirt to lift just a little bit. it conforms to his back, briefly highlighting the muscles along his shoulders . . . and inej averts her eyes as she shifts to get up herself, stooping to pick up her shirt and bra, folding the latter into the shirt so it's a bit more hidden.
not that it matters. but it feels -- uncomfortable? who knows. ]
I can make breakfast.
[ she says with a smile as she makes her way to the door, pushing her hair out of her face again, as she adds: ]
Once I brush my hair, anyway - and tame the nest for Lizabeta.
[ He's reluctantly pulled back the covers and started stretching his legs out by the time she's gathered her clothes and started for the door. Glancing up when she pauses, he has to bite his tongue so he can keep control of his face. Because now that she's up, he's getting the full effect of his shirt on her. It's practically a dress, hitting right about her knees.
That with the rumpled hair and the peek of her leggings and socked feet is just. Too much. He's not awake enough for this revelation. ]
I'll be in soon. [ He should brush his hair and wash his face. Oh and stop thinking about how incredibly beautiful his roommate is. That's honestly going to take the longest. ]
Sure you're not just going to leave it for when you let her out for her morning stretch?
[ with half a laugh, and she soon vanishes from sight to move to her bedroom. it takes a few moments to change into new clothes and brush her hair into something resembling order, though she does let lizabeta out of her cage first, the little bird fluttering out of the cage to land on inej's bedpost with a chirp.
she foregoes braiding her hair, leaving it down for now so she can focus on making breakfast. she makes her way to the kitchen, letting lizabeta settle on her shoulder as she rummages around for eggs in the fridge.
eggs and toast seem to be quick and easy. and so when kaz comes into the kitchen, she's halfway through frying some pieces of ham to go with the eggs and toast, lizabeta nibbling on a piece of popcorn that inej fished out of a bag for her to munch on. ]
Coffee is over there.
[ she says, inclining her head toward the pot, where it is staying warm. ]
[ As usual, it's much slower going for him. He's never quite awake until he has his coffee and it's compounded with the fact that he isn't exactly the quickest on his feet in general. So by the time he's combed his hair into some semblance of tame and washed up a bit, Inej has made some pretty good headway into breakfast already.
(Then again, he might've also. Flopped onto his pillow and muffled an exasperated sound into it. For a few minutes longer than he intended to. He really needs to stop being so stupid.)
The sight of freshly made coffee is a welcome one. One that he focuses on instead of her concentrating by the stove, little Lizabeta all cuddled up to her cheek. He pours them both coffee, making sure she has her favorite mug, and gets a couple plates down. Leaning against the counter, he sips his drink, feeling slightly more human after a few moments.
He's going to miss this. Well, not this as in Inej making breakfast, because that makes him seem archaic. More like having her around in the apartment. He never thought he'd be one to want a roommate, always preferring his space. Yet here he is. ]
You coming back for the holidays? [ It's obviously far off at this point, but it's better than the comment that hovers at the back of his mouth. About how she's beautiful and intelligent and how much he's going to miss her. It feels too telling and he isn't sure how it'll come out. ]
[ she says, tossing him a smile at the cup of coffee set in front of her. she flips over the pieces of ham in the pan before scooping the eggs onto the plates in front of her, turning toward the toaster to fish out the toast. ]
You could always come visit me, in Ravka, you know.
[ as she deposits the pieces of toast on the plates, turning her attention back toward the ham, giving them one last flip before arranging them on the plate. lizabeta chirps to herself, still carefully chewing away at her piece of popcorn as inej finds silverware in a drawer. ]
If you get bored of Ketterdam, and want to see somewhere new, anyway.
[ Well, that is possibly an option. It's not like he's lacking in vacation time at work. Anika and his boss usually end up harassing him to take the time because he caps out so often.
But: ]
Don't want to distract you from your courses.
[ She'll have plenty of homework to worry about. Or studying for tests. And in between, looking for her parents again. While he's extremely tempted to make plans to visit, it might also be impractical. ]
When you get settled, maybe. If nothing explodes with the case or work.
[ Reaching out, he nudges Lizabeta to hop up on his hand, depositing her and her popcorn onto the counter. So they can all eat breakfast together. Without Lizabeta getting more popcorn bits onto Inej's shoulder. ]
[ lizabeta makes herself comfortable on the counter, curling a small foot around the piece of popcorn again once she's settled to continue chewing on it. and inej smiles a little before brushing a loose piece of popcorn off her shoulder. ]
I don't think you would distract me from my courses.
[ in a slightly chiding tone, as she sits herself up on the stool near the kitchen counter, gently petting lizabeta's head with a finger before picking up a fork. ]
[ Why is he being so reluctant? Or rather, why does he feel so reluctant. It's not like it would be that much different from their current co-habitation. She would just...be at school instead.
And maybe he would finally get a vacation.
Kaz sets up in the stool next to hers, cutting into the eggs and letting it soak a bit onto the toast. ]
[ he doesn't seem too enthused to come to ravka, which causes inej slight pause. but she doesn't press too much more on that front, instead turning her attention to her own plate. ]
I think you can manage.
[ lightly, as she cuts into her ham. lizabeta seems to finish her piece of popcorn and hops her way over to kaz's wrist, beak gently nibbling at his thumb before settling in to rest.
and inej is quiet for a moment, focusing on her breakfast, before she adds, a little nonchalantly: ]
Besides, you'll have to meet my people.
[ because, as he said last night, she'll find them. ]
[ Truthfully, he wasn't bad at academics. It had been a tedious time though and he'd hated almost every single second of being stuck in a classroom. He doesn't envy Inej going through her studies now.
He starts in on his eggs and ham as Lizabeta comes over, cuddling up to the back of his hand. Her feathers fluff up before she resettles, peeping softly. ]
That's true. You'll have to call me when you do. I don't care what time it is.
[ Part of him wishes he could be there when she meets them. When. Because obviously she will.
But it would a family moment. It would be weird to intrude on it. ]
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timewasting2020-09-27 05:30 pm
no subject
Subsequently, he doesn't take her hand. ]
Maybe. [ It seems insurmountable. And she's probably right, that it would help to talk about it. But the idea of giving it voice to a complete stranger is nearly paralyzing. He can scarcely think about it for himself. ]
Night, Inej.
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sometime during the night, she moves in her sleep. and honestly, she has no dreams. none that she can remember, anyway. but she does wake up, bleary-eyed and her hair somewhat askew, her face slightly tucked into kaz's shoulder.
it takes her a moment or two to realize where she is. that, coupled with the groggy feeling of waking up after a night of drinking, is enough to want her to just tuck her head back into her pillow. and giving herself roughly two seconds to think about it, inej decides to do just that, relaxing in a breath against his arm, her face still tucked into his shoulder as she drifts back into a light sleep.
in a moment, she'll care. and probably be embarrassed. but for now, sleep beckons again. ]
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And the next thing he knows, he's blearily waking to the scant brightness of his room. Morning of some kind, though he has no idea what time it is. It's usually hard to tell since he specifically has heavy curtains to block most of the light.
After the light, he's aware of warmth and weight along his shoulder, which has him pausing in confusion. And then he's turning his head just enough to see Inej curled close, her long hair all in a tangle across the pillow. Part of him wants to move, a small well of panic surging up in his throat. The other part of him is so tempted to roll towards her and hold her closer. Which is. Not good.
She's his roommate and his friend. Not anything more than that. He's not even sure he could handle touching her so much.
So unlike him, he's paralyzed with indecision and only moves enough to stretch his bad leg out. ]
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he doesn't seem to necessarily mind, but there's a slight flush to her cheeks as she detangles herself, pushing her hair out of her face as she sits up a little, stifling a yawn. ]
Sorry.
[ a little . . . awkwardly, blearily looking around the room to get a grip on her surroundings a bit. her hair is a bit all over the place, and inej scrubs her face with a hand to wake herself up a bit more before she attempts to push her hair into something resembling order. it is mostly a failure. ]
Good morning.
[ she adds, with something of a sheepish smile as she looks over at him. he looks somewhat . . . well, undone. his hair falling into his eyes a bit. ]
no subject
So while he's relieved when she sits up and moves away, he also feels...that niggle of disappointment. It's fleeting and an uncomfortable thought. Seems like he's been having a lot of those lately. ]
Morning. [ He greets, voice scratchy from sleep, granting her an expression bordering on amusement. ]
Tried to make a nest for Lizabeta in your sleep?
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This is why I keep it out of my face, in the braid.
[ informatively, as she combs her fingers through a portion of it. ]
It is thick and unruly, otherwise.
[ clearly, given that it's a bit everywhere. she needs to find a brush, which is in her room. which will require getting up. hm. ]
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[ Though despite the tangles, he thinks he likes seeing it down. Maybe that's just because it's rare to see? It's not like he catches her when she first wakes up, typically. ]
Not comfortable to sleep in? The braid, I mean.
[ He has no idea. There had been a point where his hair had gotten nearly to his chin, but that was long ago. Now he's quite strict about keeping it trim. ]
no subject
[ moreso than it is now, anyway, and she lets her hair fall around her shoulders, giving up on taming her mane of hair and instead turning to face him a bit more completely, tucking her feet underneath herself. ]
Your hair isn't exactly perfectly put together either, you know.
[ just so he's aware!! ]
Good to know that you have flaws.
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He gets the urge to reach out and continue where she left off, but he pushes that away. Because it's silly and shouldn't be indulged. Too intimate. ]
Oh I'm aware. [ On both counts. Though he does run a useless hand through his hair. Which probably just musses it more than it helps. ]
Did you sleep well?
[ Considering how comfortable she looked, probably. But he is curious. Since he definitely slept much better than he usually did, which was strange. ]
no subject
[ she says, her wry look shifting into something a bit warmer. watching his hair fall everywhere again, her lips curving into a faint smile.
faintly, she realizes she’s still wearing his shirt, which is still huge on her. and her shirt and bra are on the floor somewhere behind her, which she’ll need to grab on her way out. ]
I think I need to get whatever mattress you have; you melt right into it.
no subject
Probably wasn't a good idea, since she's still wearing his shirt. Which hangs loose everywhere, including the collar. It's nearly off her small shoulders and dipping low on her chest.
Ah. Okay. He turns his head to look more towards the ceiling, trying not to blush. ]
Sure I've got the brand bookmarked somewhere. I'll send it to you.
[ Because that's the logical thing to do instead of what his mind conjures. Which is: just tell her she can stay in here sometimes. Seriously what? ]
Breakfast? Or— [ He finally picks up his phone to glance at it. Yeah, still morning. ] —okay, breakfast.
[ Sitting up carefully, he stretches his arms up, shaking off more of the sleepiness. Really, he could probably go back to bed. But falling back asleep while she was here seemed...rude. ]
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not that it matters. but it feels -- uncomfortable? who knows. ]
I can make breakfast.
[ she says with a smile as she makes her way to the door, pushing her hair out of her face again, as she adds: ]
Once I brush my hair, anyway - and tame the nest for Lizabeta.
[ rude, btw. ]
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That with the rumpled hair and the peek of her leggings and socked feet is just. Too much. He's not awake enough for this revelation. ]
I'll be in soon. [ He should brush his hair and wash his face. Oh and stop thinking about how incredibly beautiful his roommate is. That's honestly going to take the longest. ]
Sure you're not just going to leave it for when you let her out for her morning stretch?
no subject
[ with half a laugh, and she soon vanishes from sight to move to her bedroom. it takes a few moments to change into new clothes and brush her hair into something resembling order, though she does let lizabeta out of her cage first, the little bird fluttering out of the cage to land on inej's bedpost with a chirp.
she foregoes braiding her hair, leaving it down for now so she can focus on making breakfast. she makes her way to the kitchen, letting lizabeta settle on her shoulder as she rummages around for eggs in the fridge.
eggs and toast seem to be quick and easy. and so when kaz comes into the kitchen, she's halfway through frying some pieces of ham to go with the eggs and toast, lizabeta nibbling on a piece of popcorn that inej fished out of a bag for her to munch on. ]
Coffee is over there.
[ she says, inclining her head toward the pot, where it is staying warm. ]
no subject
(Then again, he might've also. Flopped onto his pillow and muffled an exasperated sound into it. For a few minutes longer than he intended to. He really needs to stop being so stupid.)
The sight of freshly made coffee is a welcome one. One that he focuses on instead of her concentrating by the stove, little Lizabeta all cuddled up to her cheek. He pours them both coffee, making sure she has her favorite mug, and gets a couple plates down. Leaning against the counter, he sips his drink, feeling slightly more human after a few moments.
He's going to miss this. Well, not this as in Inej making breakfast, because that makes him seem archaic. More like having her around in the apartment. He never thought he'd be one to want a roommate, always preferring his space. Yet here he is. ]
You coming back for the holidays? [ It's obviously far off at this point, but it's better than the comment that hovers at the back of his mouth. About how she's beautiful and intelligent and how much he's going to miss her. It feels too telling and he isn't sure how it'll come out. ]
no subject
[ she says, tossing him a smile at the cup of coffee set in front of her. she flips over the pieces of ham in the pan before scooping the eggs onto the plates in front of her, turning toward the toaster to fish out the toast. ]
You could always come visit me, in Ravka, you know.
[ as she deposits the pieces of toast on the plates, turning her attention back toward the ham, giving them one last flip before arranging them on the plate. lizabeta chirps to herself, still carefully chewing away at her piece of popcorn as inej finds silverware in a drawer. ]
If you get bored of Ketterdam, and want to see somewhere new, anyway.
no subject
But: ]
Don't want to distract you from your courses.
[ She'll have plenty of homework to worry about. Or studying for tests. And in between, looking for her parents again. While he's extremely tempted to make plans to visit, it might also be impractical. ]
When you get settled, maybe. If nothing explodes with the case or work.
[ Reaching out, he nudges Lizabeta to hop up on his hand, depositing her and her popcorn onto the counter. So they can all eat breakfast together. Without Lizabeta getting more popcorn bits onto Inej's shoulder. ]
no subject
I don't think you would distract me from my courses.
[ in a slightly chiding tone, as she sits herself up on the stool near the kitchen counter, gently petting lizabeta's head with a finger before picking up a fork. ]
If anything, you would probably help me.
no subject
[ Why is he being so reluctant? Or rather, why does he feel so reluctant. It's not like it would be that much different from their current co-habitation. She would just...be at school instead.
And maybe he would finally get a vacation.
Kaz sets up in the stool next to hers, cutting into the eggs and letting it soak a bit onto the toast. ]
The math side, definitely. The rest just depends.
no subject
I think you can manage.
[ lightly, as she cuts into her ham. lizabeta seems to finish her piece of popcorn and hops her way over to kaz's wrist, beak gently nibbling at his thumb before settling in to rest.
and inej is quiet for a moment, focusing on her breakfast, before she adds, a little nonchalantly: ]
Besides, you'll have to meet my people.
[ because, as he said last night, she'll find them. ]
no subject
He starts in on his eggs and ham as Lizabeta comes over, cuddling up to the back of his hand. Her feathers fluff up before she resettles, peeping softly. ]
That's true. You'll have to call me when you do. I don't care what time it is.
[ Part of him wishes he could be there when she meets them. When. Because obviously she will.
But it would a family moment. It would be weird to intrude on it. ]
no subject
[ with half a laugh, shaking her head slightly. though it warms her heart, that he’s invested. and wants to know.
she may not call him if the hour is absurd, but she will text him. when she’s certain his phone is on do not disturb. he can wake up to happy news. ]
You’ll just have to come visit to see for yourself, I guess.
no subject
[ Finding her family, that is. People she hasn't seen in years. He hopes they're in good health. ]
When you do, I'll get a ticket over. Jes can watch Lizabeta.
[ At that, he gently pets her small head, receiving a sleepy blink and then happy closed eyes. ]