[ He knows she's trying to help, by having him talk through it. So he has to swallow down his natural defensiveness; he just feels so anxious. Taking another bite of his sandwich, he thinks about why he feels the way he does instead, sitting through the nonsensical logic. It doesn't necessarily make him feel better but it does help him clarify what it is that bothers him. ]
I'm not good with people. [ Which they both know. Inej has been gracious in navigating around his awkwardness. ]
I don't want them to think poorly of me. [ And by proxy, of her choices. Though it seems like they're just happy to have her in their lives again.
Still, he is from the country that did so poorly by her. He could see that being an issue. ]
[ she says simply, with a slight shrug of her shoulder, still watching him. and her brow furrows slightly, almost trying to understand why he's so anxious about making a good impression, when he already has.
it's important to him, obviously. why, inej has no idea. but: ]
They would never think poorly of you. If anything, they want to thank you.
[ for the most part, at any rate. her mother is overprotective and angry about what happened to her, and inej can't really blame her. but inej is certain she'll like kaz when she meets him, and gets to know him. her father generally likes everyone, so even if asena is standoffish, jardani will make up for it. ]
[ Well, he does have that going for him, he supposes. He paid her indenture off but he's also dragged her into a long lawsuit. She agreed to it, of course, but it's still—it worries him. Most things worry him, though. So maybe he needs to relax.
When it's over and done with, he'll feel better. Right now it's such an unknown he doesn't know what to make of it, despite Inej's reassurances. And despite his own mind producing the logical reasoning for the myriad reasons why her parents won't instantly hate him. ]
They should be thanking Jesper, really.
[ None of this would've happened otherwise. He'd been too resistant in asking for her number that one night. ]
Did you have something in mind before then?
[ He really needs to think about something else. Because the only controllable thing right now until he meets them is how well he can present himself. ]
Nothing exciting. I thought we could stay in for a bit so you can relax.
[ inej had assumed that kaz would be jet-lagged and tired from the trip, and want to just take it easy. so she offers him a slight smile before inclining her head toward the television. ]
Want to practice your Ravkan?
[ she sounds slightly amused. ]
I'll put on subtitles for you. And make popcorn.
[ maybe that will help settle his nerves instead of trying to take a nap. something inej can already forsee as being a failure. ]
[ A sliver of tension releases when she says she had planned to stay in. Not like he would've disagreed with another idea but the plane ride is starting to catch up, now that he isn't moving. His leg is also complaining, as it does when he has limited movement or can't stretch it out for long periods. ]
My accent's terrible. [ Honestly, truly awful. Practice would probably do him some good, even if it's more listening than speaking. Maybe then he'd know some more words. Or rather, retain them better. ]
It won't disturb any homework?
[ She's studious and knows her limits, but he does want to be sure. And maybe he would like it if she joined him. Like they usually did with movies. ]
[ pointedly, as she gets up to get their movie ready. she connects her laptop to the television with the hdmi cable, the set flickering to life. she'll set up a film to put on soon, but first moves to the kitchen to make popcorn. ]
And I have a clear schedule.
[ as she undoes the bag to pop into the microwave, pressing the button. ]
[ She's not wrong, about the practice. It's a bit embarrassing though, how bad his accent is. But she's been through the process in reverse, learning Kerch while living there under Heleen's thumb. She'll understand.
He feels a small flush when she asks why she'd want to do homework while he's here. It's a gentle reminder that he takes work too seriously as compared to virtually anyone else. Which he knew, a bit, since Anika frequently tries to shoo him out the door. Inej has pointed it out on many occasions. He'd gotten better about coming home earlier to catch a movie with her.
Then she'd gone off to school and it's like he reverted back. Well no, he absolutely did. Coming home to Lizabeta was nice, but he still felt the strange gap of where Inej used to be. ]
Wasn't sure if you had something due or important.
[ He says, as she finishes the popcorn and puts a movie on; something quintessentially Ravkan, he's told. A historic drama of some sort. He's busy watching the words go by at the bottom of the screen but has apparently started to lean towards her out of habit. Since he soon feels his shoulder touch hers. Drowsily, he settles back against the cushions some more, the earlier tension finally starting to fade. ]
[ the movie is, indeed, quintessentially ravkan. a lot of revolutionary activity, a lot of dramatic love triangles. and she's about to comment on whether kaz thinks the protagonist will get the girl in the end when she feels him settle against her shoulder.
he must be tired. the time difference is enough to disorient anyone. he really should lay down and rest, especially considering his leg. but she's loathe to have him move now, his weight warm and heavy against her shoulder, and her lips twitch into a faint smile as she continues to watch the movie.
she had known she missed him, but she hadn't realized how much until he was here next to her. ]
Do you want to lay down?
[ she murmurs, tilting her head slightly to rest it against his, the motion light and easy. ]
[ Really, he shouldn't be so tired. He's used to going to bed late and it isn't even the strange morning hours over in Kerch just yet. But having to deal with the airport and being on a plane had been a tiring ordeal. He'd also psyched himself up with nerves the entire time and he's feeling the downswing from it now.
Because he is comfortable. And likes the familiarity of Inej so close by. It almost sounds weird but while her apartment smells different than his, she still carries the same scent. Another thing that puts him at ease. So he finds himself jerking slightly and blinking when she taps her head to his. ]
Don't wanna get up.
[ He's just going to doze off right here, honestly. Definitely a first for him-he always makes it through a movie. ]
[ oh no, he's definitely on his way out. and she shifts a little bit so he can lean a little more comfortably, resting her head on his as she continues to watch the film, a soft laugh escaping. ]
You could relax much more comfortably on the bed.
[ but she makes no motion to move herself, letting him essentially use her for a pillow. but while she continues to watch the movie, she reaches out to gently take his hand, the movement impulsive as she squeezes his fingers lightly, tugging his hand and arm into her lap. ]
I have been worried that you have been working too hard.
[ she murmurs, eyes still on the television screen. ]
So you should take the chance to sleep while you have it.
[ It's true, he'd probably be more comfortable if he stretched out on the bed. But then that would interrupt his current drowsiness. He'd just be lying there, mind spinning again. Here he has the sounds of the movie floating in and out.
Most importantly, Inej is here, leaning against him as a counterbalance. The familiarity of it puts him at too much peace to want to disturb. She tugs on his hand and he lets her. In fact, he follows the tug and carefully lays sideways, head on her lap. ]
Long hours, lately. [ Partially his fault. And partially the workload. He hadn't wanted to think too much about things to be done while he was here in Ravka. Curling his fingers around hers, he gives them a squeeze, eyes half open as he stares at the screen. ]
[ he tips a bit too far over and rests himself in her lap. her lips twitch into a faint smile as she settles one hand on his shoulder, smoothing a wrinkle in his shirt while letting her other hand be held by him.
long hours isn't surprising. he has always worked too hard, and needed more sleep, but when inej moved into the apartment, she at least was a form of accountability. someone who would disapprove that he was working himself half to death. old habits die hard, it seems. and inej idly wonders how he's really doing, by himself.
kaz sort of answers her silent concern, when he quietly says that he missed her. it causes an odd tug in her chest (guilt, maybe?), before she runs her thumb over his knuckles, murmuring: ]
I have missed you, too. A lot.
[ and she gently squeezes his shoulder. ]
But I am here now, so you can rest.
[ and maybe release some of the tension that she feels in his shoulders, underneath her fingertips. ]
[ Truthfully, he's doing—well, he's not doing terrible. Sorta. At the very least, there's usually an effort to come home and enjoy some time with Lizabeta, so she isn't just stuck in her cage all day. It's nice to let her roam free and listen to her chirp excitedly as she went from room to room.
He definitely isn't coming home as early (or perhaps...on time) as he usually was when Inej was there. But he hasn't totally backslid. Mostly. Maybe.
She squeezes his shoulder and he sighs, trying to release more of the tension he's been holding onto. It works, because he blearily wakes up enough to get ready for bed at her gentle urging. The jet lag has fully caught up. His short nap barely made a dent and he crashes almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.
Even stranger, he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night like he was worried he would. Instead, he sleeps through until an early hour of the morning, right around dawn, the pale light from the sun starting to creep in around the edges of her curtains. He's used to this hour but only from the side where he's usually stayed up until now, not waking with it. Unlike Inej, who typically gets up with the birds.
Rubbing some sleep from his eyes, he glances over at her, met with the sight of her still sleeping peacefully. Her mouth's dropped open a bit, soft breaths making some of her undone hair flutter near her cheek. He has the strongest urge to reach over and tuck that lock behind her ear. It fights with how much he wants to roll closer and curl an arm around her middle.
Fuck.
He really shouldn't have argued about sharing the bed. Because he can't unsee her like this, completely relaxed and so beautiful it almost hurts to look. ]
[ inej spends some time reading and catching up on her studies before she elects to go to bed relatively early. she chanes into her pajamas quickly in the corner as kaz all-but passes out. she's not even sure he's fully aware she changed, to be honest. he seems to be out the moment his face hits the pillow. but once she slides into bed and settles into the comfortable sheets, she's out fairly quickly, too.
she sleeps peacefully. eased, for some reason, by kaz next to her. something she never really thought she would ever like. she loathed when the men from the menagerie paid extra to stay the night. it typically only resulted in more abuse, more violation. so she treasures her solitude, being able to lay in her bed and have it be her own. but kaz is definitely different, warm and comfortable. gentle, in his own weird way.
at any rate, inej definitely doesn't mind him sleeping next to her.
she's stirred to light wakefulness at the movement of kaz sitting up, and she blinks her eyes open a little -- not wholly awake, before she yawns, her eyes dropping closed again before she tucks her face into her hands a little, to get herself comfortable, easily falling back asleep, mumbling something mildly incoherent in what sounds like suli. ]
[ She stirs a bit and he freezes, wondering if he's woken her up with his movement. Part of him wants her to be up so he can at least be distracted by conversation. Or by her getting to her usual morning routine. Which is...distracting in its own way. Those stretches.
Okay, he needs to not be thinking about that right now, when she's so close. Already, he can feel his pulse speeding up a little. So he glances over one last time, catching her quiet mumble, before he carefully flops back and turns over to look at the wall instead. The wall is safe. It's not his roommate and best friend who he's finding way too attractive lately. ]
[ dreams are bizarre things. she's not entirely certain what she's experiencing in the dream she's having, but she knows that she's cold. and truthfully, it is a little chilly in the early morning air, blown in by the sea.
so she shifts a little bit once kaz rolls over onto his side, still in the depths of sleep. and after a moment or two, she curls a bit closer, tucking her face into his back, exhaling in her sleep as she seems to gain comfort from the warmth.
[ There's a brief respite, when he turns over. The blank of her wall makes it easier for him to focus. Or rather, not focus so intensely.
Except it doesn't last long, because he hears her sigh and then feels her move around. Which wouldn't be a problem, normally. But her bed is smaller than his and any turn puts them closer together. She's turned towards him, curled up close, her forehead pressed between his shoulder blades. He freezes, feeling that vague skin crawling shiver go through him. She's real and alive and not a horror of his past. It takes a few tries before he gets over that mental hurdle, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Then he's more concerned with the fact that she's so close. It almost feels wrong. Maybe he's just making something out of nothing though. It isn't like she did it on purpose, she's just sleeping. They're friends. Just yesterday, he took a nap on her lap. So he really needs to ignore the heat that's spiked through his gut over this. And also that whole urge to turn over and hold her. That's definitely not a platonic thing. Nor does he think he could even do it, not when he doesn't even have a shirt on.
Honestly, it might be a good idea to just get up. Then again, he doesn't want to wake her up just yet. He isn't exactly keen to get up either, warm under the covers and away from the chill of the sea air.
So he's stuck here. Until she wakes. Or until he can miraculously fall back asleep enough to ignore everything. Doubtful. ]
[ she manages another twenty minutes or so of sleeping before she begins to shift to wakefulness, blinking her eyes open sleepily and realizing that she has her face tucked against his back. and inej rolls away a bit, rubbing at her face, her eyes roving along the defined muscles of his back for a brief moment before she decides to
just not look at that, okay. ]
Good morning.
[ she says, her voice still tinged with sleep as she rests back into her pillow, offering him a sleepy smile. ]
[ He spends the better part of twenty minutes trying to decide whether he should just get up or not. It's alongside the same urge to roll over and hold her, to really cuddle up. There's another niggle of disgust, at possibly having her skin touching his. But there's also a strange desire for it.
A cyclical argument back and forth. The only thing that solves it is he feels Inej move, drawing in a louder breath as she wakes up. Turning, he sits up and glances at her. Which is sort of a mistake, because she's laid back on her pillow, hair a tangle and streaming all across it.
[ his hair is a little messed up, with causes the corners of her mouth to lift a little bit into a faint smile. amused. he looks younger in the morning, before he has time to train his face into its perpetual frown. though that seems to be quasi-permanent. he's going to have frown lines by the time he's thirty. ]
I did.
[ she says, still remaining soundly lying in bed, really not intending on getting up anytime soon, clearly. ]
[ Well, at least she hadn't been bothered by any of his sleeping habits. Either she really did sleep soundly or she was better at lying than he thought. Which seems unlikely—she's always been very straightforward with him. Something he appreciates. ]
Went to bed too early. [ He shrugs a shoulder. It's still surprising he managed to sleep in until now. This last week at work must've taken more out of him than he thought. ]
Yeah, didn't wake up in the middle. [ Which could happen pretty often. He traces a pattern on her comforter to stop himself from reaching out to her and curling her hair around his finger. ] Didn't mean to sleep that long.
It's probably for the best that you slept as long as you did. You needed it.
[ he really does have nice arms, and her eyes wander for a moment before she catches him drawing patterns on the comforter. likely time to move, then, if he's fidgeting.
so she pushes herself up, moving a hand to shove the hair out of her face with half a laugh. it's always so untameable in the morning. ]
Do you want to take a shower first?
[ she asks, glancing over at him, arching her eyebrows. ]
[ He stops tracing the patterns and mirrors her motion in his own way, raking a hand through his hair. Which probably looks like a disaster. But it's one she's used to seeing, sort of. And one he's used to letting her see without the sense of self-consciousness that usually plagues him when he relaxes in front of someone. ]
Yeah, probably. I was trying to clear as much as possible before I came over. [ So: a lot of work, as he knows she'll read between the lines. He has to admit she's right...he did need the rest. He feels way less strung out and on edge than he usually does. ]
I'll be quick.
[ Really, he never takes super long in showers. He doesn't like being in water for long periods of time, generally. Peeling away the blanket, he gets up and gathers his clothes to change into.
And he doesn't exactly...rush to the bathroom but he definitely doesn't waste time in stepping into the shower after he flips the water on, holding in the hiss at the freezing cold spray. Any strange excitement gets washed away, the chill taking his thoughts from how cute she looked.
He steps out feeling more composed, thoughts reined in again. Drying off and changing helps him focus and by the time he buttons his shirt up, he feels much like his usual self. Which will hopefully hold up when he has to see her in her pajamas. ]
All yours. [ He pokes his head back into the room, adjusting his shirt cuff. ]
Edited (Whoops hit enter too soon ) 2020-10-23 01:13 (UTC)
[ by the time kaz comes back to the room, inej is up and getting her clothes arranged for the day. and she looks up with a warm smile as he ducks his head into the room, her arms full of a towel and the clothes she's picked out for their adventure. wherever that may be. ]
Thanks.
[ easily enough, as she makes her way toward the door, though she pauses to reach up and adjust the collar of his shirt a little, so it lays a bit more flat, adding: ]
Nice shirt.
[ as if kaz ever wears anything else but nice shirts, but inej brushes past him to head to the bathroom, idly noticing that it's not very warm and steamed. hm. but she pushes that aside to close the door, and start the process of detangling and washing her hair. which is always a process.
but, in roughly half an hour, she gets out of the shower to begin towel drying her hair, and she calls out through the door: ]
Is having lunch with my parents okay?
[ her mother has about four messages sitting on read on her phone, asking the same question. ]
[ He tries not to freeze up too much when she comes over and spends a few moments adjusting the collar of his shirt. She's done it before, plenty of times. But there's a different charge to it on his end, since he's still shaking off the strangeness from earlier. Just like earlier, he's torn between wanting to lean into it and wanting to step away.
Instead, he just lets her flatten his collar and head off to the bathroom. ]
Thanks.
[ If he sounds bewildered, well, he can say he's still waking up. She knows how he can be without coffee.
Which is what he busies himself with while she washes up. So by the time she comes out, there's a fresh pot of coffee waiting, as well as some eggs and toast. ]
That's fine. [ Even if it fills him with anxiety. He'd already delayed it once (by mistake) since he'd fallen asleep yesterday. May as well get it over with. ]
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timewasting2020-09-27 05:30 pm
no subject
I'm not good with people. [ Which they both know. Inej has been gracious in navigating around his awkwardness. ]
I don't want them to think poorly of me. [ And by proxy, of her choices. Though it seems like they're just happy to have her in their lives again.
Still, he is from the country that did so poorly by her. He could see that being an issue. ]
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[ she says simply, with a slight shrug of her shoulder, still watching him. and her brow furrows slightly, almost trying to understand why he's so anxious about making a good impression, when he already has.
it's important to him, obviously. why, inej has no idea. but: ]
They would never think poorly of you. If anything, they want to thank you.
[ for the most part, at any rate. her mother is overprotective and angry about what happened to her, and inej can't really blame her. but inej is certain she'll like kaz when she meets him, and gets to know him. her father generally likes everyone, so even if asena is standoffish, jardani will make up for it. ]
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When it's over and done with, he'll feel better. Right now it's such an unknown he doesn't know what to make of it, despite Inej's reassurances. And despite his own mind producing the logical reasoning for the myriad reasons why her parents won't instantly hate him. ]
They should be thanking Jesper, really.
[ None of this would've happened otherwise. He'd been too resistant in asking for her number that one night. ]
Did you have something in mind before then?
[ He really needs to think about something else. Because the only controllable thing right now until he meets them is how well he can present himself. ]
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[ inej had assumed that kaz would be jet-lagged and tired from the trip, and want to just take it easy. so she offers him a slight smile before inclining her head toward the television. ]
Want to practice your Ravkan?
[ she sounds slightly amused. ]
I'll put on subtitles for you. And make popcorn.
[ maybe that will help settle his nerves instead of trying to take a nap. something inej can already forsee as being a failure. ]
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My accent's terrible. [ Honestly, truly awful. Practice would probably do him some good, even if it's more listening than speaking. Maybe then he'd know some more words. Or rather, retain them better. ]
It won't disturb any homework?
[ She's studious and knows her limits, but he does want to be sure. And maybe he would like it if she joined him. Like they usually did with movies. ]
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[ pointedly, as she gets up to get their movie ready. she connects her laptop to the television with the hdmi cable, the set flickering to life. she'll set up a film to put on soon, but first moves to the kitchen to make popcorn. ]
And I have a clear schedule.
[ as she undoes the bag to pop into the microwave, pressing the button. ]
You are here, why would I want to do homework?
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He feels a small flush when she asks why she'd want to do homework while he's here. It's a gentle reminder that he takes work too seriously as compared to virtually anyone else. Which he knew, a bit, since Anika frequently tries to shoo him out the door. Inej has pointed it out on many occasions. He'd gotten better about coming home earlier to catch a movie with her.
Then she'd gone off to school and it's like he reverted back. Well no, he absolutely did. Coming home to Lizabeta was nice, but he still felt the strange gap of where Inej used to be. ]
Wasn't sure if you had something due or important.
[ He says, as she finishes the popcorn and puts a movie on; something quintessentially Ravkan, he's told. A historic drama of some sort. He's busy watching the words go by at the bottom of the screen but has apparently started to lean towards her out of habit. Since he soon feels his shoulder touch hers. Drowsily, he settles back against the cushions some more, the earlier tension finally starting to fade. ]
no subject
he must be tired. the time difference is enough to disorient anyone. he really should lay down and rest, especially considering his leg. but she's loathe to have him move now, his weight warm and heavy against her shoulder, and her lips twitch into a faint smile as she continues to watch the movie.
she had known she missed him, but she hadn't realized how much until he was here next to her. ]
Do you want to lay down?
[ she murmurs, tilting her head slightly to rest it against his, the motion light and easy. ]
You look like you will not make it until the end.
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Because he is comfortable. And likes the familiarity of Inej so close by. It almost sounds weird but while her apartment smells different than his, she still carries the same scent. Another thing that puts him at ease. So he finds himself jerking slightly and blinking when she taps her head to his. ]
Don't wanna get up.
[ He's just going to doze off right here, honestly. Definitely a first for him-he always makes it through a movie. ]
no subject
You could relax much more comfortably on the bed.
[ but she makes no motion to move herself, letting him essentially use her for a pillow. but while she continues to watch the movie, she reaches out to gently take his hand, the movement impulsive as she squeezes his fingers lightly, tugging his hand and arm into her lap. ]
I have been worried that you have been working too hard.
[ she murmurs, eyes still on the television screen. ]
So you should take the chance to sleep while you have it.
no subject
[ It's true, he'd probably be more comfortable if he stretched out on the bed. But then that would interrupt his current drowsiness. He'd just be lying there, mind spinning again. Here he has the sounds of the movie floating in and out.
Most importantly, Inej is here, leaning against him as a counterbalance. The familiarity of it puts him at too much peace to want to disturb. She tugs on his hand and he lets her. In fact, he follows the tug and carefully lays sideways, head on her lap. ]
Long hours, lately. [ Partially his fault. And partially the workload. He hadn't wanted to think too much about things to be done while he was here in Ravka. Curling his fingers around hers, he gives them a squeeze, eyes half open as he stares at the screen. ]
Missed you, Inej.
no subject
long hours isn't surprising. he has always worked too hard, and needed more sleep, but when inej moved into the apartment, she at least was a form of accountability. someone who would disapprove that he was working himself half to death. old habits die hard, it seems. and inej idly wonders how he's really doing, by himself.
kaz sort of answers her silent concern, when he quietly says that he missed her. it causes an odd tug in her chest (guilt, maybe?), before she runs her thumb over his knuckles, murmuring: ]
I have missed you, too. A lot.
[ and she gently squeezes his shoulder. ]
But I am here now, so you can rest.
[ and maybe release some of the tension that she feels in his shoulders, underneath her fingertips. ]
no subject
He definitely isn't coming home as early (or perhaps...on time) as he usually was when Inej was there. But he hasn't totally backslid. Mostly. Maybe.
She squeezes his shoulder and he sighs, trying to release more of the tension he's been holding onto. It works, because he blearily wakes up enough to get ready for bed at her gentle urging. The jet lag has fully caught up. His short nap barely made a dent and he crashes almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.
Even stranger, he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night like he was worried he would. Instead, he sleeps through until an early hour of the morning, right around dawn, the pale light from the sun starting to creep in around the edges of her curtains. He's used to this hour but only from the side where he's usually stayed up until now, not waking with it. Unlike Inej, who typically gets up with the birds.
Rubbing some sleep from his eyes, he glances over at her, met with the sight of her still sleeping peacefully. Her mouth's dropped open a bit, soft breaths making some of her undone hair flutter near her cheek. He has the strongest urge to reach over and tuck that lock behind her ear. It fights with how much he wants to roll closer and curl an arm around her middle.
Fuck.
He really shouldn't have argued about sharing the bed. Because he can't unsee her like this, completely relaxed and so beautiful it almost hurts to look. ]
no subject
she sleeps peacefully. eased, for some reason, by kaz next to her. something she never really thought she would ever like. she loathed when the men from the menagerie paid extra to stay the night. it typically only resulted in more abuse, more violation. so she treasures her solitude, being able to lay in her bed and have it be her own. but kaz is definitely different, warm and comfortable. gentle, in his own weird way.
at any rate, inej definitely doesn't mind him sleeping next to her.
she's stirred to light wakefulness at the movement of kaz sitting up, and she blinks her eyes open a little -- not wholly awake, before she yawns, her eyes dropping closed again before she tucks her face into her hands a little, to get herself comfortable, easily falling back asleep, mumbling something mildly incoherent in what sounds like suli. ]
no subject
Okay, he needs to not be thinking about that right now, when she's so close. Already, he can feel his pulse speeding up a little. So he glances over one last time, catching her quiet mumble, before he carefully flops back and turns over to look at the wall instead. The wall is safe. It's not his roommate and best friend who he's finding way too attractive lately. ]
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so she shifts a little bit once kaz rolls over onto his side, still in the depths of sleep. and after a moment or two, she curls a bit closer, tucking her face into his back, exhaling in her sleep as she seems to gain comfort from the warmth.
still sleeping, for now. ]
no subject
Except it doesn't last long, because he hears her sigh and then feels her move around. Which wouldn't be a problem, normally. But her bed is smaller than his and any turn puts them closer together. She's turned towards him, curled up close, her forehead pressed between his shoulder blades. He freezes, feeling that vague skin crawling shiver go through him. She's real and alive and not a horror of his past. It takes a few tries before he gets over that mental hurdle, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Then he's more concerned with the fact that she's so close. It almost feels wrong. Maybe he's just making something out of nothing though. It isn't like she did it on purpose, she's just sleeping. They're friends. Just yesterday, he took a nap on her lap. So he really needs to ignore the heat that's spiked through his gut over this. And also that whole urge to turn over and hold her. That's definitely not a platonic thing. Nor does he think he could even do it, not when he doesn't even have a shirt on.
Honestly, it might be a good idea to just get up. Then again, he doesn't want to wake her up just yet. He isn't exactly keen to get up either, warm under the covers and away from the chill of the sea air.
So he's stuck here. Until she wakes. Or until he can miraculously fall back asleep enough to ignore everything. Doubtful. ]
no subject
just not look at that, okay. ]
Good morning.
[ she says, her voice still tinged with sleep as she rests back into her pillow, offering him a sleepy smile. ]
no subject
A cyclical argument back and forth. The only thing that solves it is he feels Inej move, drawing in a louder breath as she wakes up. Turning, he sits up and glances at her. Which is sort of a mistake, because she's laid back on her pillow, hair a tangle and streaming all across it.
What if he just kissed her? ]
Morning. [ Stop thinking about it. ] Sleep well?
no subject
I did.
[ she says, still remaining soundly lying in bed, really not intending on getting up anytime soon, clearly. ]
I'm surprised you are awake so early.
[ she notes, arching her eyebrows a little. ]
Did you sleep well?
no subject
Went to bed too early. [ He shrugs a shoulder. It's still surprising he managed to sleep in until now. This last week at work must've taken more out of him than he thought. ]
Yeah, didn't wake up in the middle. [ Which could happen pretty often. He traces a pattern on her comforter to stop himself from reaching out to her and curling her hair around his finger. ] Didn't mean to sleep that long.
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[ he really does have nice arms, and her eyes wander for a moment before she catches him drawing patterns on the comforter. likely time to move, then, if he's fidgeting.
so she pushes herself up, moving a hand to shove the hair out of her face with half a laugh. it's always so untameable in the morning. ]
Do you want to take a shower first?
[ she asks, glancing over at him, arching her eyebrows. ]
You are the guest.
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Yeah, probably. I was trying to clear as much as possible before I came over. [ So: a lot of work, as he knows she'll read between the lines. He has to admit she's right...he did need the rest. He feels way less strung out and on edge than he usually does. ]
I'll be quick.
[ Really, he never takes super long in showers. He doesn't like being in water for long periods of time, generally. Peeling away the blanket, he gets up and gathers his clothes to change into.
And he doesn't exactly...rush to the bathroom but he definitely doesn't waste time in stepping into the shower after he flips the water on, holding in the hiss at the freezing cold spray. Any strange excitement gets washed away, the chill taking his thoughts from how cute she looked.
He steps out feeling more composed, thoughts reined in again. Drying off and changing helps him focus and by the time he buttons his shirt up, he feels much like his usual self. Which will hopefully hold up when he has to see her in her pajamas. ]
All yours. [ He pokes his head back into the room, adjusting his shirt cuff. ]
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Thanks.
[ easily enough, as she makes her way toward the door, though she pauses to reach up and adjust the collar of his shirt a little, so it lays a bit more flat, adding: ]
Nice shirt.
[ as if kaz ever wears anything else but nice shirts, but inej brushes past him to head to the bathroom, idly noticing that it's not very warm and steamed. hm. but she pushes that aside to close the door, and start the process of detangling and washing her hair. which is always a process.
but, in roughly half an hour, she gets out of the shower to begin towel drying her hair, and she calls out through the door: ]
Is having lunch with my parents okay?
[ her mother has about four messages sitting on read on her phone, asking the same question. ]
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Instead, he just lets her flatten his collar and head off to the bathroom. ]
Thanks.
[ If he sounds bewildered, well, he can say he's still waking up. She knows how he can be without coffee.
Which is what he busies himself with while she washes up. So by the time she comes out, there's a fresh pot of coffee waiting, as well as some eggs and toast. ]
That's fine. [ Even if it fills him with anxiety. He'd already delayed it once (by mistake) since he'd fallen asleep yesterday. May as well get it over with. ]
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