wraithes: (010.)
unarmored. ([personal profile] wraithes) wrote in [community profile] timewasting2020-09-27 05:30 pm

modern au kanej.

a cute gif will go here eventually.
ketterdamn: (triumph)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-03 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ He does indeed know she's not going to throw him a party like that. For one, he wouldn't even show up. For two, he's not entirely sure any of his friends would be too comfortable with such an event. Jesper and Nina maybe but their respective partners could only handle so much.

Kaz shifts around a bit, turning in her direction, putting them closer together. The anxiety from earlier seems almost silly now because he feels so comfortable. ]


If you said pie, I could almost be sold. [ While he's not exactly one for sweets, he does have a sort of nostalgia for tarts and pies. His father made plenty when he'd been younger. ] I'd let Nina take the cakes.

[ She gets blissful when she walks past the fancy patisseries with the decorative cakes and tiers. Would be awful to keep her from it. ]
ketterdamn: (lain)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-03 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
No, she probably wouldn't. [ If there was a sweet to be had, she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

All this does make him wonder what exactly Inej has up her sleeve. Because it certainly isn't elaborate like what they've been discussing. Honestly, he'd be most fine with neither of them going anywhere and just spending time reading or catching up on movies. Especially now that there's an entirely new facet to them being able to spend time around each other. This being sort of like it: close, without the nerves of being unsure what their relationship was. There's still nerves, of course, but that's just his life in a nutshell.

Reaching out carefully, mostly because he can't see much in the dark, he traces his fingers along her palm and down her wrist, stopping when he gets to the pulse point. ]


You don't really have to plan anything.
ketterdamn: (think about it)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-04 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
Can you now?

[ He suppresses the shiver from the touch on his wrist. It's a light thing, somewhat expected and still strange. Not unpleasant though, he's finding. It makes him want to hold her hand, like they had done earlier. ]

I'd like it if it's with you. [ And boy is he glad the lights are out, because the words just sort of. Are out there now. Somehow his usual filter had blipped out of existence. That seemed to happen often around her. Maybe it's the comfort of knowing she would understand? He's anxious around her but it's different thrum of anxiety than the usual. ]
ketterdamn: (huddle)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-04 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The bed dips slightly as she shifts her weight, clearly sitting up a bit more. Another little shiver goes through him as her fingertips trace along his palm and his own fingers twitch from the odd sensation. It's nearly ticklish.

Honestly, he can't tell how much she knows or doesn't know. Or whether palm reading has any legitimacy. Though he supposes it doesn't really matter. She tells him he'll find love—as if he hasn't already. Even if thinking that makes him nervous. He thinks he might be in love with her. It just seems so early to say such a thing, especially out loud.

Though he feels nothing but warmth when she curls her fingers over his. So maybe it is love. ]


Healing from stress? Seems unlikely in my work. [ That isn't it, exactly. It's easier to make light of the tension than to go into detail. He gently tugs her hand closer, cheek pressing to the back of it. ]
ketterdamn: (leather)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-04 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She does correct him, which at first makes him feel anxious. As if there's a hidden hint that she wants him to say something about it. But she doesn't press beyond that and he wrestles with the nerves for a few beats, trying to convince himself that it's fine. She wasn't asking for his entire backstory. If there's anyone who would understand deep scars, it would be her. ]

Maybe. [ With the stress of not knowing where they stood being out of the way, he probably will start feeling less nervous about accidentally crossing a line. Well, he'll still be worried about it, because she hasn't had an easy time of things. Especially not physical things. And despite his current issues with touch, he's still anxious that he might accidentally set her off.

At least for now both of them are in a comfort zone. ]


I just took one. When I went to see you in Ravka.
Edited (Omfg words missing why) 2020-11-04 21:42 (UTC)
ketterdamn: (what)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-04 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Another?

[ It's not that he's against the idea. It's just...he doesn't take breaks so often. Which probably accounts for why he carries so much stress all the time. Well, why he has it on top of his past issues. Which have gotten slightly better but still are a long way from great. ]

I've been fine. [ Though the idea of not having to worry about Inej being so far away is very tempting. There's also the point she brings up about his sleeping habits. Which are, quite frankly, awful. He'd slept incredibly well when he stayed with her in Ravka. And now he could potentially cuddle while they slept.

Also, they wouldn't be fighting a six hour difference. ]


I'll see what the office says about longer term remote work.

[ No promises. But he would like to fall asleep like they are now, holding hands, for longer than just her break. ]
ketterdamn: (triumph)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-05 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She kisses the back of his hand and while it startles him, just a bit, the gesture is a welcome one. It doesn't make him feel uncomfortable or panicked like so much new physical contact can. Maybe it's because he's gotten used to most contact on his hands. Or maybe it's Inej.

It could also just be his mind cooperating for a brief few moments. Either way, he's glad. ]


Your apartment is nice.

[ What a hassle to get another one. It's not like he'll die if he doesn't have an office. ]

Finally found a place you like? [ She'd mentioned it before, while he was visiting. They'd gone to a few different cafes, looking for good coffee. One of those places had been pretty decent, though it hadn't been proclaimed as "very good" by either of them. Seems she might've found a place finally. ]
ketterdamn: (Default)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-06 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
[ Romantic, huh? He'd never put much stock into romance. Or even seriously looking for someone to spend his life with. After all, he had so many problems with touch. He had not only doubted ever finding someone who would understand but—the mere thought of even letting someone he liked touch him had been too revolting.

And yet, here he is. ]


What kind of light would count?

[ He asks, trying for nonchalant. Whether it comes across, he isn't sure. Or maybe it's undermined by him curling his fingers over hers, thumb running over her knuckles. ]
ketterdamn: (think about it)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-06 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He wants to see that pier, he thinks. At the time she says is the best, because she hasn't steered him wrong yet. Maybe he'll visit again, for a little longer. Or maybe he really will just see about something semi-permanent. The thought fills him with both anxiety and interest.

So he tries not to think about it too much while Inej is on break for the holidays. Not an easy thing for him to do, exactly, but he does try to enjoy as much time with her as possible. In the present.

The holidays blur by, full of plenty of snow and gifts and more decorating than he's ever personally done before. Quite honestly, he hesitates to take any of it down before she goes. He'd never put much stake in celebrating the holiday with decor but this year had certainly changed his mind.

Right on the heels of the holiday is his birthday, which thankfully doesn't involve multiple big tops or the entirety of Kerch being invited. Instead, he spends most of it catching up on reading a book he'd meaning to get to and cuddling on the couch with Inej. They have a quiet dinner at a new place they both wanted to try. The day after, he's gently bullied into having Jesper and the others come over for a movie at the very least—it ends up being two movies and drunken game of cards that leaves Nina breathless with laughter in Matthias' lap.

He enjoys it more than he wants to admit.

A few days later Inej packs and flies back to Ravka. He's made peace that he won't see her for a bit. Or he thinks so, anyway. The reality is this: going to be bed that night, without her there, is almost painfully lonely. He tries to convince himself that it's a temporary thing.

Three days later, he's looked up how to transport Lizabeta. And after an incredibly slow feeling two weeks, he ends up at Inej's apartment door with bird in tow. Anika had called him stupid for even asking if she thought Inej would be upset at him for showing up unannounced. Her intuitions with people were also usually right, so he hadn't argued and bought his ticket.

Still, nerves have crawled up into his throat like they usually did. He knocks clearly, despite how hesitant he feels. Maybe he should have sent a message? A heads up? Maybe he's missed her completely. Maybe this was a dumb idea after all. ]
ketterdamn: (Default)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-07 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ As it turns out, he doesn't have to wait long to confirm that she's home. He can hear muffled steps as she gets closer to the door and when she opens it, he feels like his heart leaps into his throat. In a good way. Her hair is a mess and it's clear she's been cleaning: there's a bit of dust on her cheek. Her tank top and shorts aren't exactly ratty, but he knows she only wears them when she's mopping or scrubbing.

She's positively radiant. Fuck, he missed her so much.

It's enough to overwhelm any hint of reactive disgust when she throws her arms around his neck to give him a kiss. One he's more than happy to return, the anxiety he'd been holding onto the entire way starting to bleed out of his shoulders. He circles his arms around her middle, pulling her close and actually grinning down at her. ]


You would've guessed it otherwise.

[ Inej, after all, is very difficult to fool. ]
ketterdamn: (leather)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-07 07:19 pm (UTC)(link)
You're beautiful.

[ He says it, bordering on hesitant—not because he doesn't believe it, since he certainly does— but she's been told that by awful people. Complete strangers who only valued her for her looks. It might not sit very well.

But he also feels she is beautiful, inside and out. He wouldn't have flown the hundreds of miles to be here otherwise; she means that much. Which was honestly a startling realization, even if he knew he missed her. He gives her an affectionate squeeze around the middle, not letting go just yet, enjoying the bit of flush from her kiss and how she's still holding onto him. ]


Work said they didn't want to see me in Kerch for at least three months. Couldn't let Jes have Lizabeta for that long.

[ Besides, she kept his anxiety down on the plane, despite how drowsy she had been. Maybe seeing the sleeping bird had subconsciously lowered the nerves. ]
ketterdamn: (huddle)

[personal profile] ketterdamn 2020-11-07 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She runs her thumbs over his cheeks and he tilts his head towards one of her palms, eyes shutting briefly at the warmth. He'd been hesitant the first few times she'd done this but he's adjusted. Mostly. There's still a vague discomfort under his skin but he finds he can ignore it more easily. ]

Yes. If that's too much, I can find a hotel.

[ The kiss to the corner of his mouth is reassuring but the nerves are starting to show. So much he should've planned and asked before coming here. Anika and Jes and even Nina had reassured him it would be fine and that he was over thinking it.

But what if he wasn't? ]


As long as my work is turned in, they don't care. The higher ups have been considering courting a firm over here to partner with, sounds like.

[ He'll be a test run on how the timezones affect everything. Even without that though, his boss had been enormously enthusiastic. Moreso than he thought he'd be.

Somehow, he has a feeling Anika must've said something. ]

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