Well, ok, she hadn't seemed like the type to give her number out of sheer pity, so there had to have been something. But still, he feels his face warm from the comment, unused to hearing such things. Most of the time, his personality was the first thing people noticed. In the case of the very rare possible date, according to Jesper anyway, he was incredibly standoffish.
That had always seemed enough to keep people away or simply uninterested. ]
Too awkward. It's happened before.
[ Not that he took it personally. Why should he? It was what it was. ]
inej tries to envision kaz on a date with someone that isn't her. and she can definitely see how he would be . . . well, awkward. or cold, or standoffish, to people he doesn't know. he's not exactly talkative, and tends to say the most without saying very much at all. even when they went out to dinner in ravka, he was mostly content to remain quiet and just enjoy her company, which suits inej just fine.
someone like nina, though, would probably drive kaz up a wall, and vice versa. he's probably fortunate that he wound up with inej after all. ]
Well, I am glad they deleted your number.
[ selfishly, it means that kaz was hers, and not theirs. ]
If they did not bother to get to know you, then they were not worth the time anyway.
[ A grin lights up his face when she says she was glad that they'd deleted his number. In truth, he's glad as well, because that means they have each other now. Seems like they're both feeling a bit possessive. He gives her a short squeeze, tipping his chin down to brush a kiss to her forehead. ]
None of them came with Lizabeta, either.
[ How he adores that little bird. In fact, he misses her soft tweets right now. They'd left her in the care of her parents. Who he's sure will take good care of her, despite Asena being wary of how much she freely flaps about. ]
[ the kiss to her forehead prompts a warm smile, but the comment causes a laugh to escape, allowing her eyes to close as she rests her cheek a bit more soundly against his chest. ]
I am glad she was the deciding factor.
[ though inej remembers the look on his face when she initially showed up with the bird. he hadn't exactly been thrilled. that had worn off quickly, as it were.
still, she relaxes, listening to his heartbeat, relishing the feeling of his arms around her middle. something she never thought she'd enjoy. it causes a warmth in her chest, radiating right down to her toes. that regardless of what happens in her conversation with tomassen, kaz will still care about her.
she loves him, she decides. the thought isn't surprising to her. just a statement of fact. one that she idly considers voicing out loud, for a moment. she had almost said it on new year's, but that had felt way too soon, when she was breathless and laughing after kissing him in the corner after midnight.
[ He smiles against her hairline, the sound of her soft laugh a bit infectious. It's not as if she laughs rarely—it's just that he's glad to hear it. ]
She tipped the scales in your favor.
[ Even if he'd been completely unsure when he first saw her standing at his door with the bird in her cage. That unsurety had lasted all of two days, a record for someone or something worming its way into his good graces.
Though maybe the same could be said of Inej. He wants to say it had taken longer to really feel as strongly as he does about her. Even now, he thinks he might be in love with her, despite it seeming all too soon to say as much. Part of him wants to admit it while the other part is anxious. As usual. That it's simply too early on, that this is something of that honeymoon phase of a relationship.
Then again, he can't recall anyone he's felt this strangely comfortable around. That alone counts for so much. ]
Where to?
[ Not a bad idea. Certainly they'll want to celebrate. And probably get away from all of this.
There's also something warming about her thinking so far ahead with the two of them in mind. ]
[ admittedly; she's never really taken a vacation before, but she thinks she would like it if she were with him. a week or two relaxing with no distraction. catch up on reading and television and enjoy each other's company.
maybe the beach, which would be warm, and which would allow him to not wear a shirt.
she idly thinks about that for a moment. ]
Let's go to the beach.
[ she decides, eyes still closed, tone thoughtful.
[ Honestly, he's never been one for vacations. Most of his time off has been spent at home, catching up on things that fell by the wayside whenever he was working. And prior to a few years ago, he didn't have the money to go anywhere. He supposes that habit has simply carried over.
But, perhaps unsurprisingly, he's now looking forward to going on a trip with her. Someplace they can experience together. So of course she suggests the beach, which has him partly cringing. Not that she knows his weird history with bodies of water.
At the same time, his mind does remind him that she'd likely end up in a bathing suit. Or one of those beach dresses; they'd look flattering on her, as so much does. It doesn't quite quash the mix of anxiety and revulsion he has at being near the ocean. ]
Maybe.
[ He knows he sounds a bit closed off. Though he isn't sure how much he wants to get into. ]
[ she can feel the shift in his mood, how he gets tense. it isn't a large amount, he isn't panicked, but something about the beach is causing him to retreat into his own head.
it causes her to pause, and inej pulls away enough to shift her weight, so she can look at him properly. and inej gently takes his face in her hands, smiling quietly before leaning forward to give him a soft kiss. ]
Or we can go to a cave.
[ she murmurs, shifting to kiss his cheek. ]
Far, far away, with no internet or television. No connection to Ketterdam. Maybe in a corner of Shu.
[ and inej returns to give him a single, chaste kiss, eyes a little more bright. ]
The point being that does not matter where, as long as I can celebrate with you.
[ He knows she can feel him freeze up. Being pressed this close jt would be impossible for her to ignores and he wishes he had tried to measure his reaction a little better.
Though he doesn't pull away when she cups his face in her hands. And he does tilt his face a bit into the kiss when she presses in. It does a bit to soothe the bad memories, despite it being touch. Mostly because it gives him something to focus on that isn't a bad memory. Of water going up and over his head. ]
Shu Han has gardens.
[ Famous ones, all year round. They're well known for their decorative arbors and arrangements. He remembers seeing some photos that almost looked unreal when his office had a merger party at a photography gallery a couple years ago. ]
There's time to plan. [ It might be over in a blink. But for now, they can look over destinations. In some ways, it's quite fun to consider.
[ she murmurs, running her thumbs along his cheek once before letting her hands drop to his shirt, idly fiddling with the buttons. part of her is curious, why the ocean seems to be a sore subject, but she knows some things are just best left to time, to be able to talk about. she's barely told kaz anything (tonight being the first actual details, and even then, not very many), and she feels tired. setting a good pace seems to be the way, with things like this.
but the air still feels heavy, and so inej sighs heavily to herself (clearly done so on purpose), almost exasperated as she straightens his shirt with purpose. ]
I mostly just wanted to have an excuse for you not to wear a shirt.
[ idly, as she slides a finger along the collar of his shirt. it feels bold, to say, and part of her almost balks at saying it, but having kaz blush and be uncomfortable for that feels better than whatever is nipping at the back of his mind. ]
I suppose that means I will just need to be creative, in Shu Han.
[ It certainly sounds beautiful, though a sappy part of him thinks it would be hard pressed to beat the woman sitting in his lap. He's not sure how he was able to kid himself for so long on thinking he just liked her as a friend. Though certainly, he's glad they started that way. It makes this feel much closer, he thinks, than starting from zero and working their way up.
She shakes him out of his thoughts abruptly, her comment making color bloom in his cheeks before he can try and control the reaction. ]
Oh, is that all?
[ The fact she's entertained the idea of him stripping his shirt off in front of her is...well, he can't say he hates it. Even if he's completely embarrassed by how forthright she was about it. ]
If we go in summer, a button up is that last thing to wear.
[ Shu Han could get notoriously hot and humid. And he wouldn't have the excuse of going into an office where a more proper attire is necessary. Or helpful, if one sits basically under the A/C vent. ]
[ she grins a little, at his comment, tugging on the collar of his shirt a little bit. ]
Do you wear t-shirts in public?
[ amused. she's seen kaz dressed down . . . well, for him, in that she has seen him in pajamas. rather hard pressed to find him in much of anything even closely considered casual outside of the safety net of their apartment. he might roll up his sleeves if he's working from home, and he has definitely worked in pajamas before.
but outside, at the bar? typically coming straight from work, which means he's in a suit. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but definitely not vacation material. ]
I think the only time I have seen you dressed down is when you are first waking up in the morning.
[ Most of it comes from him being more comfortable when he's covered up. Which makes him sound like a complete prude. He also doesn't go out too often and when he does, it's typically after work. ]
Used to. [ Been a while though, aside from when he flew to Ravka. Even then, it couldn't have been completely casual—his coat and scarf had been very businesslike. ]
No one else needs to see that.
[ He's usually a mess in the morning. Though he's glad he shares that with Inej, the only one who's gotten close enough to see him undone. ]
[ there's a soft laugh, at that, and inej moves to gently mess up his hair. not a ridiculous amount, but enough where it falls into his eyes just a little bit. ]
I think that may be my favorite version of you.
[ there are quite a few to choose from, to be honest, but she's particularly fond of kaz being half asleep with his face buried in her hair, unwilling to let her get up for her morning run. ]
You are very cute, when you first wake up.
[ he's much cuter after he's had coffee. less intolerable and grumpy. very much not a morning person, kaz brekker. ]
[ She reaches up to ruffle his hair and while he makes a bit of a face at it, he also likes the feeling. He's aware she likes seeing him a bit less tight laced as well. Probably why she likes seeing him rumpled in the morning, even if he personally thinks he looks like a disaster then.
Of course, he can't keep letting her have the upper hand in embarrassing him. Even if it's affectionate embarrassment. ]
You're cute all the time. [ All day, no matter what. He picks up her hand in his, brushing a kiss over the backs of her fingers. ]
[ the kiss to the back of her fingers causes a wrinkle in her nose. mostly because she severely doubts she is cute all the time. she can be stubborn and argumentative. and she knows she looks a mess when she first wakes up in the morning, though kaz rarely sees it (given she usually wakes up first).
but he seems to genuinely believe it. how charming. ]
I don't think that's true.
[ she says mildly, though her eyes are bright, clearly appreciating the comment. ]
There has to be at least a few moments in the day where reality sinks in.
[ Her nose wrinkles and it's just proving his point. Though he knows, just like himself, it's hard to take such a compliment. Even if it may be the truth.
Still, he believes it wholeheartedly. He's with her because he likes her for who she is. That includes the argumentative and stubborn part of her. And despite how aggravating that can be, he's glad those are parts of her personality. He's not sure how well he'd deal with someone so willing to leave him unchallenged. ]
My view is firmly in reality. Even when you've fallen asleep during a documentary and started drooling on my sleeve.
[ it's not a sharp rebuke whatsoever; in fact, it's pretty clear inej is holding back a grin. she has definitely been guilty of nodding off in the middle of a documentary. whether or not she drooled, inej wouldn't know to say. she suspects he's making that part up.
possibly. it's hard to tell when kaz is lying, sometimes. mostly because he hasn't really lied to her, though from what tomassen has told inej, he used to be quite the hellion. and likely still is, in some respect. just not to her. ]
You should really wash your pillow nightly, by how much you mumble into it.
[ She's clearly enjoying the banter though. He can hear the grin in her voice, leaking through. ]
Besides, I'm not the one that leaves a small cat behind with all the hair.
[ Truthfully, she doesn't leave too much of her hair about. But even a little seems a lot, simply because she has so much of it. Not that he'd ever dream of asking her to cut it. For one, it isn't his hair. And for two: he loves it. It's tempting, so often, to run his fingers through it.
There's something safe about touching her hair as well. For them both, since they're still learning what makes the other uncomfortable. Even as they work on getting over those hurdles, bit by bit. ]
[ so there. though the comment about her hair sparks a real laugh, and inej tips forward just enough to brush her lips against his, amused. warm with affection. ]
Maybe I should shave my head.
[ she says thoughtfully, brushing his hair out of his eyes (due to the fact that she messed it up, but whatever). ]
[ He leans in when she brushes her lips over his, returning the small kiss. There's a smile turning up the corners of his mouth, amused by her laugh. ]
Won't you get colder faster? [ She's tends to cuddle up quite close when they're on the couch. Especially when winter had settled into Ravka. ] Don't need you getting frostbite on your ears.
[ she says with a grin, leaning forward to kiss him again, though she lingers for a moment or two, soft and gentle as she presses forward. and she pulls away just enough to run her fingers along his cheek, expression warm. ]
I have you to warm me up.
[ obviously. and to support her, and comfort her, and love her. all these magical things that inej hadn't had, before she met him. what a beautiful happenstance, meeting him in that bar was.
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timewasting2020-09-27 05:30 pm
no subject
Well, ok, she hadn't seemed like the type to give her number out of sheer pity, so there had to have been something. But still, he feels his face warm from the comment, unused to hearing such things. Most of the time, his personality was the first thing people noticed. In the case of the very rare possible date, according to Jesper anyway, he was incredibly standoffish.
That had always seemed enough to keep people away or simply uninterested. ]
Too awkward. It's happened before.
[ Not that he took it personally. Why should he? It was what it was. ]
no subject
inej tries to envision kaz on a date with someone that isn't her. and she can definitely see how he would be . . . well, awkward. or cold, or standoffish, to people he doesn't know. he's not exactly talkative, and tends to say the most without saying very much at all. even when they went out to dinner in ravka, he was mostly content to remain quiet and just enjoy her company, which suits inej just fine.
someone like nina, though, would probably drive kaz up a wall, and vice versa. he's probably fortunate that he wound up with inej after all. ]
Well, I am glad they deleted your number.
[ selfishly, it means that kaz was hers, and not theirs. ]
If they did not bother to get to know you, then they were not worth the time anyway.
no subject
None of them came with Lizabeta, either.
[ How he adores that little bird. In fact, he misses her soft tweets right now. They'd left her in the care of her parents. Who he's sure will take good care of her, despite Asena being wary of how much she freely flaps about. ]
no subject
I am glad she was the deciding factor.
[ though inej remembers the look on his face when she initially showed up with the bird. he hadn't exactly been thrilled. that had worn off quickly, as it were.
still, she relaxes, listening to his heartbeat, relishing the feeling of his arms around her middle. something she never thought she'd enjoy. it causes a warmth in her chest, radiating right down to her toes. that regardless of what happens in her conversation with tomassen, kaz will still care about her.
she loves him, she decides. the thought isn't surprising to her. just a statement of fact. one that she idly considers voicing out loud, for a moment. she had almost said it on new year's, but that had felt way too soon, when she was breathless and laughing after kissing him in the corner after midnight.
soon, maybe. ]
After the trial, could we take a vacation?
[ she asks quietly, eyes still closed. ]
no subject
She tipped the scales in your favor.
[ Even if he'd been completely unsure when he first saw her standing at his door with the bird in her cage. That unsurety had lasted all of two days, a record for someone or something worming its way into his good graces.
Though maybe the same could be said of Inej. He wants to say it had taken longer to really feel as strongly as he does about her. Even now, he thinks he might be in love with her, despite it seeming all too soon to say as much. Part of him wants to admit it while the other part is anxious. As usual. That it's simply too early on, that this is something of that honeymoon phase of a relationship.
Then again, he can't recall anyone he's felt this strangely comfortable around. That alone counts for so much. ]
Where to?
[ Not a bad idea. Certainly they'll want to celebrate. And probably get away from all of this.
There's also something warming about her thinking so far ahead with the two of them in mind. ]
no subject
[ admittedly; she's never really taken a vacation before, but she thinks she would like it if she were with him. a week or two relaxing with no distraction. catch up on reading and television and enjoy each other's company.
maybe the beach, which would be warm, and which would allow him to not wear a shirt.
she idly thinks about that for a moment. ]
Let's go to the beach.
[ she decides, eyes still closed, tone thoughtful.
sounds blissful, honestly. ]
no subject
But, perhaps unsurprisingly, he's now looking forward to going on a trip with her. Someplace they can experience together. So of course she suggests the beach, which has him partly cringing. Not that she knows his weird history with bodies of water.
At the same time, his mind does remind him that she'd likely end up in a bathing suit. Or one of those beach dresses; they'd look flattering on her, as so much does. It doesn't quite quash the mix of anxiety and revulsion he has at being near the ocean. ]
Maybe.
[ He knows he sounds a bit closed off. Though he isn't sure how much he wants to get into. ]
no subject
it causes her to pause, and inej pulls away enough to shift her weight, so she can look at him properly. and inej gently takes his face in her hands, smiling quietly before leaning forward to give him a soft kiss. ]
Or we can go to a cave.
[ she murmurs, shifting to kiss his cheek. ]
Far, far away, with no internet or television. No connection to Ketterdam. Maybe in a corner of Shu.
[ and inej returns to give him a single, chaste kiss, eyes a little more bright. ]
The point being that does not matter where, as long as I can celebrate with you.
no subject
Though he doesn't pull away when she cups his face in her hands. And he does tilt his face a bit into the kiss when she presses in. It does a bit to soothe the bad memories, despite it being touch. Mostly because it gives him something to focus on that isn't a bad memory. Of water going up and over his head. ]
Shu Han has gardens.
[ Famous ones, all year round. They're well known for their decorative arbors and arrangements. He remembers seeing some photos that almost looked unreal when his office had a merger party at a photography gallery a couple years ago. ]
There's time to plan. [ It might be over in a blink. But for now, they can look over destinations. In some ways, it's quite fun to consider.
Maybe he likes research too much. ]
no subject
That sounds beautiful.
[ she murmurs, running her thumbs along his cheek once before letting her hands drop to his shirt, idly fiddling with the buttons. part of her is curious, why the ocean seems to be a sore subject, but she knows some things are just best left to time, to be able to talk about. she's barely told kaz anything (tonight being the first actual details, and even then, not very many), and she feels tired. setting a good pace seems to be the way, with things like this.
but the air still feels heavy, and so inej sighs heavily to herself (clearly done so on purpose), almost exasperated as she straightens his shirt with purpose. ]
I mostly just wanted to have an excuse for you not to wear a shirt.
[ idly, as she slides a finger along the collar of his shirt. it feels bold, to say, and part of her almost balks at saying it, but having kaz blush and be uncomfortable for that feels better than whatever is nipping at the back of his mind. ]
I suppose that means I will just need to be creative, in Shu Han.
[ clearly. ]
no subject
She shakes him out of his thoughts abruptly, her comment making color bloom in his cheeks before he can try and control the reaction. ]
Oh, is that all?
[ The fact she's entertained the idea of him stripping his shirt off in front of her is...well, he can't say he hates it. Even if he's completely embarrassed by how forthright she was about it. ]
If we go in summer, a button up is that last thing to wear.
[ Shu Han could get notoriously hot and humid. And he wouldn't have the excuse of going into an office where a more proper attire is necessary. Or helpful, if one sits basically under the A/C vent. ]
no subject
Do you wear t-shirts in public?
[ amused. she's seen kaz dressed down . . . well, for him, in that she has seen him in pajamas. rather hard pressed to find him in much of anything even closely considered casual outside of the safety net of their apartment. he might roll up his sleeves if he's working from home, and he has definitely worked in pajamas before.
but outside, at the bar? typically coming straight from work, which means he's in a suit. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but definitely not vacation material. ]
I think the only time I have seen you dressed down is when you are first waking up in the morning.
no subject
[ Most of it comes from him being more comfortable when he's covered up. Which makes him sound like a complete prude. He also doesn't go out too often and when he does, it's typically after work. ]
Used to. [ Been a while though, aside from when he flew to Ravka. Even then, it couldn't have been completely casual—his coat and scarf had been very businesslike. ]
No one else needs to see that.
[ He's usually a mess in the morning. Though he's glad he shares that with Inej, the only one who's gotten close enough to see him undone. ]
no subject
I think that may be my favorite version of you.
[ there are quite a few to choose from, to be honest, but she's particularly fond of kaz being half asleep with his face buried in her hair, unwilling to let her get up for her morning run. ]
You are very cute, when you first wake up.
[ he's much cuter after he's had coffee. less intolerable and grumpy. very much not a morning person, kaz brekker. ]
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Of course, he can't keep letting her have the upper hand in embarrassing him. Even if it's affectionate embarrassment. ]
You're cute all the time. [ All day, no matter what. He picks up her hand in his, brushing a kiss over the backs of her fingers. ]
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but he seems to genuinely believe it. how charming. ]
I don't think that's true.
[ she says mildly, though her eyes are bright, clearly appreciating the comment. ]
There has to be at least a few moments in the day where reality sinks in.
no subject
Still, he believes it wholeheartedly. He's with her because he likes her for who she is. That includes the argumentative and stubborn part of her. And despite how aggravating that can be, he's glad those are parts of her personality. He's not sure how well he'd deal with someone so willing to leave him unchallenged. ]
My view is firmly in reality. Even when you've fallen asleep during a documentary and started drooling on my sleeve.
no subject
[ it's not a sharp rebuke whatsoever; in fact, it's pretty clear inej is holding back a grin. she has definitely been guilty of nodding off in the middle of a documentary. whether or not she drooled, inej wouldn't know to say. she suspects he's making that part up.
possibly. it's hard to tell when kaz is lying, sometimes. mostly because he hasn't really lied to her, though from what tomassen has told inej, he used to be quite the hellion. and likely still is, in some respect. just not to her. ]
You should really wash your pillow nightly, by how much you mumble into it.
[ it's rather adorable, really. ]
no subject
[ She's clearly enjoying the banter though. He can hear the grin in her voice, leaking through. ]
Besides, I'm not the one that leaves a small cat behind with all the hair.
[ Truthfully, she doesn't leave too much of her hair about. But even a little seems a lot, simply because she has so much of it. Not that he'd ever dream of asking her to cut it. For one, it isn't his hair. And for two: he loves it. It's tempting, so often, to run his fingers through it.
There's something safe about touching her hair as well. For them both, since they're still learning what makes the other uncomfortable. Even as they work on getting over those hurdles, bit by bit. ]
no subject
[ so there. though the comment about her hair sparks a real laugh, and inej tips forward just enough to brush her lips against his, amused. warm with affection. ]
Maybe I should shave my head.
[ she says thoughtfully, brushing his hair out of his eyes (due to the fact that she messed it up, but whatever). ]
Then you wouldn't need to worry about stray cats.
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Won't you get colder faster? [ She's tends to cuddle up quite close when they're on the couch. Especially when winter had settled into Ravka. ] Don't need you getting frostbite on your ears.
no subject
[ she says with a grin, leaning forward to kiss him again, though she lingers for a moment or two, soft and gentle as she presses forward. and she pulls away just enough to run her fingers along his cheek, expression warm. ]
I have you to warm me up.
[ obviously. and to support her, and comfort her, and love her. all these magical things that inej hadn't had, before she met him. what a beautiful happenstance, meeting him in that bar was.
it can really only get better from here. ]