[ For a moment, she seems ready to sit up and pursue the idea of dinner. Her expression changes, though, as he catches her eye, and he can't make out what she could be thinking. There's almost a wariness or nervousness. ]
Okay.
[ No small measure of anxiety bubbles up, worried about the many directions this can go. How bad is it? Is it her health? Something else? Has he done something awful without knowing?
She presses her forehead to his chest again and he tries to swallow the nerves. Whatever she needs to say is obviously important, moreso than the spiral he's worked himself up to. He slowly pets his hand down her back, both for her sake and his. ]
[ the hand down her back is soothing and grounding, as she tries to figure out where to begin. she eventually settles on a fact, which is hard to form words about. there's a weight in her throat before she exhales slowly, settling back to look at him with a frown.
. . . which means she immediately sees the anxiety, scrawled all over his features, which causes her frown to deepen. and, almost immediately, she leans forward to give him another kiss, before murmuring against his lips: ]
You did nothing wrong.
[ that seems to be a good place to start, before she settles herself again, taking up one of his hands in her own, squeezing his fingers loosely as she tries to figure out where to go next. ]
I have been having . . . I am -- [ ugh. admitting this thing feels like a weakness, even though she knows it isn't. so she purses her lips, forcing herself to focus before intertwining her fingers with his. the movement feels grounding, and gives her something to focus on. ] I wake up at night, sometimes, and I don't know where I am. I keep -- remembering one of the -- one of them. He used to spend the night, constantly, and --
[ she stops herself, there, because the details aren't really important. or needed, or necessary. nevermind the fact that saints, spitting this out is hard. but she's already started, so she steels her nerve to keep going. ]
I haven't said anything because I -- I feel like I am going backwards, when I don't want to. I want to be normal, and I want to be with you, and I want -- [ she huffs to herself, stopping the train of chaotic thoughts before it can really start. ] So I ignored it, but ignoring it is only making it worse. And then I felt guilty, because I haven't said anything, because I was -- scared to make you upset.
[ it's said a little lamely, because she realizes now that this entire thing has just been inside her own head, and this is stupid. ]
[ Her reassurance doesn't make all of his worry dissipate but it does lessen by a fraction, some of the pinch around his eyes relaxing. She re-settles again, giving his hands a little squeeze. He returns the motion, just liking the feel of her fingers in his. It gives him something to focus on as a background thing, as he sweeps his thumbs across the backs of her hands. Almost dispelling the nervous energy.
Almost, but not quite.
His attention is on her, though, as she starts talking again, working her way through what's a clearly difficult topic. Even if they haven't experienced the same things in their past, he can empathize with how hard it is. He's never been one to talk about his feelings, not easily at any rate. So he's patient through her start and stop, even if it feels like there's panic rising in the back of his throat.
It drops out momentarily when she gets to the heart of the matter–she's been reminded of someone in her past, someone who did her more harm than can be seen here. A man who'd stayed after his initial visits; whether he'd been lonely or perverse, it didn't matter. She was still feeling those impressions, waking up in the middle of the night with fear.
He swallows the initial sting because he knows it isn't personal. This is something she's working through, so soon in the wake of her escaping from that place. There's a memory floating to the top of how he felt directly after Rollins, after the flood. For a while he couldn't sleep with anything more than a sheet, a comforter too heavy and making him feel like he was drowning. Even after he'd been living with Sofia and Tomassen for a year, he'd still wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented. It would take him a few minutes to remember which room he was in (home, not his dead father's house, nor the temporary places he'd ended up).
So, he gently curls his arm around her shoulders, giving her as much of a hug as he can from this angle. ]
I'm not upset. [ Just so she knows that up front. ] What can I do?
[ If he needs to sleep elsewhere, that's do-able. Or if she needs a pillow division between them–whatever it is. ]
[ the hug helps quell her nerves. but it's really the gentle ask of what he can do that causes her to feel the sudden relief. that the dozen ways she envisioned this conversation in her head had been pointless, and of course he would be fine. and gentle, and encouraging, and want to help her, rather than push her away. or cut his losses, when the going got too difficult.
so inej soon shifts to straddle his hips. the movement should spark some level of anxiety, resting on her knees like she is, but it's soon quashed in favor of being able to loop her arms around his neck, into a proper hug. ]
I think I need a break from anything more intimate than a hug or a kiss.
[ it's said quietly, frustrated with herself, but relieved that this doesn't seem to bother her. or remind her of anything vile. no one in the menagerie had been gentle with her. and it isn't as if sleeping with him had been rough, or painful, or humiliating. she had felt safe, and loved. until she went to sleep, anyway. the monsters tended to come at night.
she tightens her hug a little. ]
I hate associating anything with that place with you. [ her voice is still quiet, arms still looped around his neck. ] You would never do anything to me that I didn't want, and I know that. [ and yet: ] But I keep focusing on it, and I hate it.
[ The relief feels like it vibrates out into the air, tension going out of her shoulders and that pinched look leaving the corners of her mouth. It's enough to soothe more of his own nerves, the ones he'd been quietly building up in the wake of the unknown.
But now it's known, it's something he can plan around and do, easily. If she doesn't want anything more intimate, then they won't do that. There will be certain things he'll miss–like using his mouth on her when they have a lazy morning–but it's not like it's an imperative. He'd lasted years without any of it before; making sure she was happy came before anything else.
So as she loops her arms around his neck, he curls both of his around her middle, pulling her in tight. ]
Memories do what they want. [ And it's never worked to simply tell it to stop. It seems spiteful because it just clings onto the thoughts more.
Either way, what he's trying to get across is: he gets it. ]
[ the tight hug causes any residual tension to melt out of her, along with the acknowledgement, and understanding. worrying over this had been stupid, as worrying tended to be. and it isn't as if it's forever, or permanent. just so she can start to sort through everything that has been jumbled up.
his question, though, causes a laugh to bubble up, and inej shifts herself to press her lips against his temple, amused. ]
Of course you can.
[ without a lick of hesitation, and she squeezes him one more time before separating just enough to look at him, smile warm. still tired, but any anxiety and tension is now gone, from her features. she looks at peace. ]
You can brush my hair, and hold me. Hug me, pick me up, bother me, annoy me, fall asleep with me . . .
[ she says, eyes bright, before she ducks forward for a brief peck on the lips, a chaste kiss. ]
And kiss me. [ amused, before she rests her forehead against his briefly. ] If you'd like to, anyway.
[ She laughs, bright and easy, and he feels light somewhere in his ribcage. The sound is infectious, making a smile pull at the corners of his mouth.
When she pulls away a bit, he settles his knit fingers together at the small of her back, not wanting to let go just yet. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like she wants to either, arms still loosely over his shoulders. ]
"If you'd like to." [ He imitates, faux-exasperation in his tone. ] Ask me if I like breathing next time, it'd be a more difficult answer.
[ As if kissing her would ever be a trial. Something he proves by leaning in to return the soft kiss she'd given him, first on her mouth and then her cheek, affection clear. ]
[ the kiss to her cheek sparks a wider grin, and she immediately chases his kiss with one of her own, though she elects to tip her head upward just enough to kiss his forehead. ]
My love, I would rather you breathe.
[ thank you very kindly. but she soon settles with a softer smile, straightening the collar of his shirt. content to be held, for the time being. but, alas: ]
We should decide what to do about dinner, though.
[ as reluctant as she is to move, food is important. ]
[ More warmth sinks in as she kisses his forehead, nerves calming with it. He gives her waist a small and affectionate squeeze, settling his hands on her hips. ]
Good thing I can have both. [ It feels greedy even if it isn't terribly. Still, the grin he gives her is boyish as she straightens his collar. A familiar motion that makes both of them feel content, he thinks. ]
There's some chicken and vegetables in there, stir fry wouldn't be hard. [ Or they could order out–plenty of options. ]
[ his grin, as always, causes her to feel a pleasant warmth that wraps all the way around her, settling underneath her skin. it brightens his features and breaks from his usual serious countenance into a little peak of what kaz is like when he's truly relaxed. when he feels safe.
she, suffice to say, thinks it's her favorite thing about him. though she would be hard pressed to pick. he also gives spectacular hugs.
but decisions about dinner have to be made, and so inej leans forward for one more kiss - a soft, gentle one, her hands finding his face. a silent thank you for listening and being supportive, before she begins the difficult work of untangling herself from his arms and the mass of blankets. ]
Stir fry it is.
[ quick, and easy, and with minimal effort. sounds like the perfect dinner for therapy day, truth be told. ]
We need to go shopping soon, anyway - so finishing off what is already in there is a good idea.
[ Greedy as he is, he steals a kiss right before she pulls away. Really, it's just an answering one to what she gave him. Mostly.
Reluctantly he lets her go so she can get up and disentangle herself from the blanket nest she'd built around the both of them. He follows suit, draping the blanket over the back of the couch before he pushes himself up, taking hold of his cane once he's on his feet. ]
We can go tomorrow, if you want to join my parents near the University district.
[ Sofia had told him of her plans to restock on certain ingredients she couldn't get at the local market. He remembers plenty of trips out there on the weekends as she attempted to find out what he liked to eat.
Making his way into the kitchen, he takes care of pulling out the cutting board, pan, and knives. He pulls down a couple plates as well, setting them off to the side. ]
[ she trails after him into the kitchen, letting him take care of pulling down the pots and pans while she busies herself with the refrigerator. tugging out some onions and papers comes first, followed by the package of chicken she had picked up the day before. she sets them down on opposite counters -- for one, to keep the raw meat away from the vegetables, and two, to keep it away from kaz.
she's learned that dealing with the meat will have to be her job, for better or for worse. not that she minds much. he can certainly do other things.
at the offer of going with his parents, inej brightens. they were lovely people, aside from both of them helping her with her current legal predicament with heleen. she still isn't entirely sure how they wound up with kaz, other than sheer dumb luck. but she supposes that's how she ended up with kaz, too. sometimes, fate works in mysterious ways. and, at any rate: ]
I will need to make dessert, then, to bring.
[ she muses, as she tugs a cutting board closer to her, to deal with the chicken. ]
[ Inej separates the vegetables from the meat, setting the onions and peppers off to the side. He lets her take care of the chicken, not daring to try his hand at cutting it up. After he moved out and before Inej, dealing with raw meat had always been a challenge. Either he ended up picking an alternative or used dish washing gloves to force his way through it.
That was not the most dexterous way. He'd been reluctant to let Inej handle it all but now he's simply relieved. Besides, he can chop the onions without tearing up too much.
(He's teased her that it's a matter of how close she was to the counter and therefore, the onions themselves). ]
What kind? [ Not that Tomassen is picky. The only other person he's ever met that loved baked goods as much as his father was Nina.
Peeling the onion, he uses a separate board to dice it. This was something he never thought he'd end up liking—cooking alongside someone else. Growing up, he'd helped Sofia sometimes, but her kitchen wasn't really meant for two people to be in. Or maybe she just shooed him out a lot. ]
He told me that there was some type of little cake in Ravka, when he last went, that he missed. So I am going to make my mother's recipe for sweet cakes and hope that it's the same thing.
[ she arranges the chicken on her own cutting board, making quick work of slicing it into strips before turning to wash her hands so she could add different spices. she never really had time to cook for herself, before living with kaz. most food she had was cheap and easy to heat up, constantly on the move with being in debt to heleen. but she finds it soothing, now, to spend time making dinner, and enjoying it with him.
the thought causes her lips to twitch into a faint smile as she dries her hands, turning back to the counter -- but before she does so, she loops her arms around his waist from behind, tucking her face into his back for a brief hug. ]
You can help, if you want.
[ she murmurs, squeezing him once before sliding her arms back. just wanting a tiny touch of comfort before turning back to the work at hand. ]
[ For one, his love for pastries knows basically no bounds. And for two: it would be coming from Inej. He wouldn't be able to refuse even if the cakes ended up subpar.
(Which he doubts they will, nothing Inej does is subpar).
He gathers up the chopped onions, dumping them into a bowl to make room for the peppers. These he carefully cuts off the stems and scoops out the seeds, plopping them into a separate bowl for now. About halfway through, he hears Inej washing and drying her hands off. Which ends up with her hugging him from behind. Her body is a comforting and warm line against his back and he stops his cutting, using his clean hand to give her forearm a squeeze.
Another thing he never thought he'd end up liking—this much casual touch. But as soon as she leaves, he wants to turn and return the gesture.
Later, that'll be for later. ]
Sofia called me a passable helper. [ So yes, he wants to. Especially if it's more of this; easy chatter and time spent with Inej. ]
[ the mental image of a younger kaz helping in the kitchen is an adorable one, made more so by the fact (or so inej assumes) that said help was requested by gentle force. she, obviously, didn't know kaz when he was younger, but she's heard enough (affectionate) stories from tomassen to know that he was something of a handful.
it only makes sofia and tomassen more remarkable, really. that they had bothered to care. and inej smiles to herself as she seasons the chicken, using a nearby set of tongs to turn it over, so she can avoid touching it again, to season the other side. ]
I am sure she didn't call you passable. [ inej has never heard that woman utter one negative word about kaz. and even when acknowledging his flaws, sofia always follows up with a glowing review of his strengths.
chicken finished, inej turns her attention to setting the wok on the stove, adding a dollop of oil to begin heating. ] I think every time I see her, she spends half of the conversation telling me how amazing you are.
[ which, of course, inej doesn't mind. she's more than happy to partake. ]
She wouldn't have. [ He resumes his cleaning of the peppers, meticulously ensuring all the seeds have been cleared out. Once satisfied, he slices them up, adding them to the same bowl as the onions to mix. ] But I was definitely passable at best.
[ Though, he thinks some of the memories have been colored by how rough of a time it had been then. The years had helped but when he'd been young enough to be less in the way, he hadn't been convinced Sofia and Tomassen would be his forever parents. ]
I wish she wouldn't, but— [ A bit of onion spills out of the bowl and he spends a moment clearing it off the counter. ] —most of it is her doing.
[ She'd been patient and determined, two things his other "homes" had been missing ever since he and Jordie ended up on the streets. One couple had been older, with plenty of patience, but they had been at a complete loss on what to do with him.
So he'd run, too overwhelmed by the too big house and silence.
Plenty of times he'd been tempted to run from Sofia and her gentle prying words. He just never could do it. ]
[ he's so careful in his motions, delicately cleaning the counter from the offending onion that had freed itself from the bowl. or maybe focusing on something mundane, in lieu of focusing on what he was talking about.
she sort of understands. most of the quiet bragging comes from her father, in the family. but her mother deeply loved her, in her own way. she simply demonstrates it differently, than her father does. or even sofia. asena ghafa was no less adoring of her only child, but inej was also certain that she didn't haplessly brag to anyone who listened about her achievements.
though, really, that may be because inej hadn't been there, for most of the typical teenage milestones. she imagines asena has plenty of time to catch up and be overbearingly sweet.
that being said: ]
I think that is the way, with mothers and sons. [ she wouldn't know, given she's the only child. but she shrugs with a faint smile. ] But I also think her type of love is even more special, because she chose you.
[ most parents have little choice. saints knows her own don't. but sofia and tomassen had decided to love kaz in spite of all the difficulty. that was a beautiful thing, to her. ]
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timewasting2020-09-27 05:30 pm
no subject
Okay.
[ No small measure of anxiety bubbles up, worried about the many directions this can go. How bad is it? Is it her health? Something else? Has he done something awful without knowing?
She presses her forehead to his chest again and he tries to swallow the nerves. Whatever she needs to say is obviously important, moreso than the spiral he's worked himself up to. He slowly pets his hand down her back, both for her sake and his. ]
Wherever you want.
no subject
. . . which means she immediately sees the anxiety, scrawled all over his features, which causes her frown to deepen. and, almost immediately, she leans forward to give him another kiss, before murmuring against his lips: ]
You did nothing wrong.
[ that seems to be a good place to start, before she settles herself again, taking up one of his hands in her own, squeezing his fingers loosely as she tries to figure out where to go next. ]
I have been having . . . I am -- [ ugh. admitting this thing feels like a weakness, even though she knows it isn't. so she purses her lips, forcing herself to focus before intertwining her fingers with his. the movement feels grounding, and gives her something to focus on. ] I wake up at night, sometimes, and I don't know where I am. I keep -- remembering one of the -- one of them. He used to spend the night, constantly, and --
[ she stops herself, there, because the details aren't really important. or needed, or necessary. nevermind the fact that saints, spitting this out is hard. but she's already started, so she steels her nerve to keep going. ]
I haven't said anything because I -- I feel like I am going backwards, when I don't want to. I want to be normal, and I want to be with you, and I want -- [ she huffs to herself, stopping the train of chaotic thoughts before it can really start. ] So I ignored it, but ignoring it is only making it worse. And then I felt guilty, because I haven't said anything, because I was -- scared to make you upset.
[ it's said a little lamely, because she realizes now that this entire thing has just been inside her own head, and this is stupid. ]
no subject
Almost, but not quite.
His attention is on her, though, as she starts talking again, working her way through what's a clearly difficult topic. Even if they haven't experienced the same things in their past, he can empathize with how hard it is. He's never been one to talk about his feelings, not easily at any rate. So he's patient through her start and stop, even if it feels like there's panic rising in the back of his throat.
It drops out momentarily when she gets to the heart of the matter–she's been reminded of someone in her past, someone who did her more harm than can be seen here. A man who'd stayed after his initial visits; whether he'd been lonely or perverse, it didn't matter. She was still feeling those impressions, waking up in the middle of the night with fear.
He swallows the initial sting because he knows it isn't personal. This is something she's working through, so soon in the wake of her escaping from that place. There's a memory floating to the top of how he felt directly after Rollins, after the flood. For a while he couldn't sleep with anything more than a sheet, a comforter too heavy and making him feel like he was drowning. Even after he'd been living with Sofia and Tomassen for a year, he'd still wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented. It would take him a few minutes to remember which room he was in (home, not his dead father's house, nor the temporary places he'd ended up).
So, he gently curls his arm around her shoulders, giving her as much of a hug as he can from this angle. ]
I'm not upset. [ Just so she knows that up front. ] What can I do?
[ If he needs to sleep elsewhere, that's do-able. Or if she needs a pillow division between them–whatever it is. ]
no subject
so inej soon shifts to straddle his hips. the movement should spark some level of anxiety, resting on her knees like she is, but it's soon quashed in favor of being able to loop her arms around his neck, into a proper hug. ]
I think I need a break from anything more intimate than a hug or a kiss.
[ it's said quietly, frustrated with herself, but relieved that this doesn't seem to bother her. or remind her of anything vile. no one in the menagerie had been gentle with her. and it isn't as if sleeping with him had been rough, or painful, or humiliating. she had felt safe, and loved. until she went to sleep, anyway. the monsters tended to come at night.
she tightens her hug a little. ]
I hate associating anything with that place with you. [ her voice is still quiet, arms still looped around his neck. ] You would never do anything to me that I didn't want, and I know that. [ and yet: ] But I keep focusing on it, and I hate it.
no subject
But now it's known, it's something he can plan around and do, easily. If she doesn't want anything more intimate, then they won't do that. There will be certain things he'll miss–like using his mouth on her when they have a lazy morning–but it's not like it's an imperative. He'd lasted years without any of it before; making sure she was happy came before anything else.
So as she loops her arms around his neck, he curls both of his around her middle, pulling her in tight. ]
Memories do what they want. [ And it's never worked to simply tell it to stop. It seems spiteful because it just clings onto the thoughts more.
Either way, what he's trying to get across is: he gets it. ]
Can I still brush your hair?
no subject
his question, though, causes a laugh to bubble up, and inej shifts herself to press her lips against his temple, amused. ]
Of course you can.
[ without a lick of hesitation, and she squeezes him one more time before separating just enough to look at him, smile warm. still tired, but any anxiety and tension is now gone, from her features. she looks at peace. ]
You can brush my hair, and hold me. Hug me, pick me up, bother me, annoy me, fall asleep with me . . .
[ she says, eyes bright, before she ducks forward for a brief peck on the lips, a chaste kiss. ]
And kiss me. [ amused, before she rests her forehead against his briefly. ] If you'd like to, anyway.
no subject
When she pulls away a bit, he settles his knit fingers together at the small of her back, not wanting to let go just yet. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like she wants to either, arms still loosely over his shoulders. ]
"If you'd like to." [ He imitates, faux-exasperation in his tone. ] Ask me if I like breathing next time, it'd be a more difficult answer.
[ As if kissing her would ever be a trial. Something he proves by leaning in to return the soft kiss she'd given him, first on her mouth and then her cheek, affection clear. ]
no subject
My love, I would rather you breathe.
[ thank you very kindly. but she soon settles with a softer smile, straightening the collar of his shirt. content to be held, for the time being. but, alas: ]
We should decide what to do about dinner, though.
[ as reluctant as she is to move, food is important. ]
no subject
Good thing I can have both. [ It feels greedy even if it isn't terribly. Still, the grin he gives her is boyish as she straightens his collar. A familiar motion that makes both of them feel content, he thinks. ]
There's some chicken and vegetables in there, stir fry wouldn't be hard. [ Or they could order out–plenty of options. ]
no subject
she, suffice to say, thinks it's her favorite thing about him. though she would be hard pressed to pick. he also gives spectacular hugs.
but decisions about dinner have to be made, and so inej leans forward for one more kiss - a soft, gentle one, her hands finding his face. a silent thank you for listening and being supportive, before she begins the difficult work of untangling herself from his arms and the mass of blankets. ]
Stir fry it is.
[ quick, and easy, and with minimal effort. sounds like the perfect dinner for therapy day, truth be told. ]
We need to go shopping soon, anyway - so finishing off what is already in there is a good idea.
no subject
Reluctantly he lets her go so she can get up and disentangle herself from the blanket nest she'd built around the both of them. He follows suit, draping the blanket over the back of the couch before he pushes himself up, taking hold of his cane once he's on his feet. ]
We can go tomorrow, if you want to join my parents near the University district.
[ Sofia had told him of her plans to restock on certain ingredients she couldn't get at the local market. He remembers plenty of trips out there on the weekends as she attempted to find out what he liked to eat.
Making his way into the kitchen, he takes care of pulling out the cutting board, pan, and knives. He pulls down a couple plates as well, setting them off to the side. ]
no subject
she's learned that dealing with the meat will have to be her job, for better or for worse. not that she minds much. he can certainly do other things.
at the offer of going with his parents, inej brightens. they were lovely people, aside from both of them helping her with her current legal predicament with heleen. she still isn't entirely sure how they wound up with kaz, other than sheer dumb luck. but she supposes that's how she ended up with kaz, too. sometimes, fate works in mysterious ways. and, at any rate: ]
I will need to make dessert, then, to bring.
[ she muses, as she tugs a cutting board closer to her, to deal with the chicken. ]
I own Tomassen some cakes.
no subject
That was not the most dexterous way. He'd been reluctant to let Inej handle it all but now he's simply relieved. Besides, he can chop the onions without tearing up too much.
(He's teased her that it's a matter of how close she was to the counter and therefore, the onions themselves). ]
What kind? [ Not that Tomassen is picky. The only other person he's ever met that loved baked goods as much as his father was Nina.
Peeling the onion, he uses a separate board to dice it. This was something he never thought he'd end up liking—cooking alongside someone else. Growing up, he'd helped Sofia sometimes, but her kitchen wasn't really meant for two people to be in. Or maybe she just shooed him out a lot. ]
no subject
[ she arranges the chicken on her own cutting board, making quick work of slicing it into strips before turning to wash her hands so she could add different spices. she never really had time to cook for herself, before living with kaz. most food she had was cheap and easy to heat up, constantly on the move with being in debt to heleen. but she finds it soothing, now, to spend time making dinner, and enjoying it with him.
the thought causes her lips to twitch into a faint smile as she dries her hands, turning back to the counter -- but before she does so, she loops her arms around his waist from behind, tucking her face into his back for a brief hug. ]
You can help, if you want.
[ she murmurs, squeezing him once before sliding her arms back. just wanting a tiny touch of comfort before turning back to the work at hand. ]
no subject
[ For one, his love for pastries knows basically no bounds. And for two: it would be coming from Inej. He wouldn't be able to refuse even if the cakes ended up subpar.
(Which he doubts they will, nothing Inej does is subpar).
He gathers up the chopped onions, dumping them into a bowl to make room for the peppers. These he carefully cuts off the stems and scoops out the seeds, plopping them into a separate bowl for now. About halfway through, he hears Inej washing and drying her hands off. Which ends up with her hugging him from behind. Her body is a comforting and warm line against his back and he stops his cutting, using his clean hand to give her forearm a squeeze.
Another thing he never thought he'd end up liking—this much casual touch. But as soon as she leaves, he wants to turn and return the gesture.
Later, that'll be for later. ]
Sofia called me a passable helper. [ So yes, he wants to. Especially if it's more of this; easy chatter and time spent with Inej. ]
no subject
it only makes sofia and tomassen more remarkable, really. that they had bothered to care. and inej smiles to herself as she seasons the chicken, using a nearby set of tongs to turn it over, so she can avoid touching it again, to season the other side. ]
I am sure she didn't call you passable. [ inej has never heard that woman utter one negative word about kaz. and even when acknowledging his flaws, sofia always follows up with a glowing review of his strengths.
chicken finished, inej turns her attention to setting the wok on the stove, adding a dollop of oil to begin heating. ] I think every time I see her, she spends half of the conversation telling me how amazing you are.
[ which, of course, inej doesn't mind. she's more than happy to partake. ]
no subject
[ Though, he thinks some of the memories have been colored by how rough of a time it had been then. The years had helped but when he'd been young enough to be less in the way, he hadn't been convinced Sofia and Tomassen would be his forever parents. ]
I wish she wouldn't, but— [ A bit of onion spills out of the bowl and he spends a moment clearing it off the counter. ] —most of it is her doing.
[ She'd been patient and determined, two things his other "homes" had been missing ever since he and Jordie ended up on the streets. One couple had been older, with plenty of patience, but they had been at a complete loss on what to do with him.
So he'd run, too overwhelmed by the too big house and silence.
Plenty of times he'd been tempted to run from Sofia and her gentle prying words. He just never could do it. ]
no subject
she sort of understands. most of the quiet bragging comes from her father, in the family. but her mother deeply loved her, in her own way. she simply demonstrates it differently, than her father does. or even sofia. asena ghafa was no less adoring of her only child, but inej was also certain that she didn't haplessly brag to anyone who listened about her achievements.
though, really, that may be because inej hadn't been there, for most of the typical teenage milestones. she imagines asena has plenty of time to catch up and be overbearingly sweet.
that being said: ]
I think that is the way, with mothers and sons. [ she wouldn't know, given she's the only child. but she shrugs with a faint smile. ] But I also think her type of love is even more special, because she chose you.
[ most parents have little choice. saints knows her own don't. but sofia and tomassen had decided to love kaz in spite of all the difficulty. that was a beautiful thing, to her. ]
Did she teach you how to cook?