[ The words have been kicking around in his head for a couple days. Or perhaps, a couple years. He can't bring himself to hate Per Haskell, not after the old man gave him that first chance. Kaz has more than paid him back, considering how full he kept the Dregs' coffers, but there will always be that memory of Haskell saying he thought this scrawny kid could amount to something.
Still, there are some choice words he'd like to say to him, to all of them. They've always been carefully tucked behind his teeth, knowing the time would come when he'd get to say his piece.
And this is it.
He reviews it all as he picks his way over the rooftops, remembering Inej's warnings about the slippery footing on a few of the spots. Part of him wonders if he should turn back and ask her to come. It would make this whole plan easier knowing her knives were there, that she was watching his back.
But he knows what that would look like to the Dregs, to Per Haskell: weakness. And if he needed them to buy into what he was going to say, they needed to see him as he was on his own.
Swinging himself into his bedroom window, he stops to change, splashing some water on his face and making sure not a hair was out of place. Maybe it was nonsensical, considering what he was anticipating, but he'd learned presentation mattered. Once cleaned up, he steps out of his room and towards the staircase, listening intently to the sounds of the raucous downstairs. Above the noise, he can make out Haskell's particular crowing, laughter and cheers following in its wake. ]
Old man. [ And that's how it all starts, Haskell giving him exactly what he needed: an audience. He knew the old man couldn't resist, always wanting to humble Kaz or strip away some of his prideful attitude. So he let him have what he wanted and turned it into something else. A demonstration. A proving. A hard truth.
When he's done, he's gotten what he's come for: the Dregs under new leadership. He's also gotten what he expected, which is a fairly thorough beating. He'd known he could fight through what was thrown at him and now he's dealing with the consequences of the decision. Everything hurt in various ways, especially his leg, which felt like it was on fire. After he gets more settled with Anika and Pim and Roeder, he makes his way back up the stairs, knowing who he's likely to meet on the way.
She shows up on the third story landing, probably having come in from her room, a small but strong arm sliding around his waist. Part of him wants to shrug it off, just in case anyone is watching, but he knows they aren't. Too much cleanup and no one is brazen enough to bother with him after such a showing. So he lets her help him into his room, leaning against the desk with a low hiss once the door is closed behind them. ]
[ she lets him lean against the desk, hovering only for a brief moment before ducking into his bedroom, stooping down to fish out the first aid kit that she knows is tucked underneath the bed. there is a lack of space, in the slat. and everything is used, if you have things to store, anyway.
once she has it, she moves back into his office, setting the kit next to him before moving to fill the wash basin with water. she runs her fingers under it briefly -- cold, which will help keep down the swelling, though she glances toward him with an unimpressed look. ]
You told me I had to wait until six bells before I intervened; I did as I was told.
[ it wasn't her fault kaz failed to specify a location, in agreeing to her compromise.
she tugs a rag from a nearby cupboard, dropping it into the cold water to soak it through. and while she waits for that, she crosses to stand in front of him, gingerly brushing his hair out of his eyes before standing up on her toes to rest her forehead against his, closing her eyes to murmur something under her breath in suli. a prayer of thanks, to the saints, for protecting him. ]
But I am never agreeing to sit idly by again, boss.
[ the last part might sound a little sarcastic, as inej has never (and will never) refer to him as her boss, even if it was (mostly) true. but there's a small note of pride, in her tone, before she settles back on her feet, opening her eyes to frown at him, examining his injuries with a flicker of her gaze over his features. ]
You need to put a compress over your right eye, or you will not be able to see out of it.
[ it's a quiet murmur, before she moves back to the sink, to ring out the cloth and fold it into a compress. ]
[ Of course, she always found a loophole. Or maybe he always subconsciously left one. Or maybe it was a little of both. They're so used to covering each other's backs that it comes as easy as breathing. Though he isn't entirely sure how he feels about her having seen all of that. It's not like she hasn't seen plenty of violence in the Barrel–it's the one thing that's a constant here–but it can't have been easy. There'd been that brief moment where he caught her eye up in the rafters, the glint of her knife in the dull light enough to tell him what she had wanted to do.
He's pulled from the spinning thoughts when she comes back over, her fingertips light as a feather where she brushes his hair back. As she goes on her toes, he inhales, braced for the horrible pull of water. It doesn't come, not exactly, anyway, remaining a niggling feeling that is washed out by the relief of the brief touch. There's a temptation to reach out and cup the side of her face but by the time he makes a decision, the moment's passed. ]
I don't plan on having to do this all over again. [ A special case. If it had been any other circumstance, he would've been glad to have the surety that either she or Jesper were nearby in case things went straight to hell.
It's a testament to how much he aches that he doesn't argue when she suggests he sit down. Setting his cane aside, he lowers himself into his desk chair with a low groan, the bruising on his ribs making itself known. ]
[ she has had it out with kaz before (and will surely have it out with him in the future) after scraps in the barrel. he is stubborn, as is she, and they both have had their fair share of argument over visiting medical, or simply sleeping it off. so the fact that he doesn't argue with her and simply does as he's told quells the sharp retort on her tongue. he must be in a lot of pain, to just agree.
she works in silence for a moment, to tug out what she needs to take care of him. idly, inej realizes neither of them are really in the shape to continue doing whatever it is they need to do in order to save themselves and this hell of a city they've decided to protect. her wounds still pull under the fresh bandages, but inej ignores the sting to fold a cold compress, squeezing out the excess water. ]
They do not deserve you.
[ she says finally, her tone quiet as she holds out the compress for him to take. kaz had barely managed to bandage her own wounds; inej won't offer to assist him until she's certain the touch won't make him feel worse. ]
The cowards would not have a roof over their heads if it weren't for you, and they did nothing.
[ it's hard to keep the anger out of her tone, though she speaks quietly, returning her focus to casting her gaze around the room, finding the nearby ottoman that kaz uses to prop up his leg tucked in a corner. it only takes a few seconds to bring it near enough so he can rest his leg properly. and, as inej starts to unfurl bandages, she adds, with no lack of bitterness: ]
They should flee to Pekka Rollins while they still have the chance. The spinelessness would suit.
[ and even then, they shouldn't feel safe. inej would cut down pekka rollins too. ]
[ Mentally, he takes stock of what hurts and what doesn't; the latter list is quite short. He has all his teeth, though, and he's fairly certain there's no internal bleeding. The bruises are going to look ugly over the next few days and the mere thought of having to move again now that he's sitting is...well, he doesn't really want to. But he knows he has to. There's still so much to be done, people to meet, deals to broker.
Anything and everything to get them all out of swinging because Jan Van Eck said so. He was the stupid pigeon that got them into this and he'll get them out. Even if, should things go completely sideways, he needs to take the fall for all of it. ]
And I probably haven't deserved to get this far. The Barrel doesn't care, you know that. [ He'd always known he'd lose a popularity contest, a show of solidarity and loyalty, if it came to the Dregs having to choose him over Per Haskell. The old man wasn't very good at keeping a roof over their heads, but he was personable. Treated so many of them like sons or daughters when they had nothing. Too many of them still remembered Haskell giving them their shot, their chance at something better than scraping on the streets. He had his own group but it was small in comparison. Something he planned on rectifying, as long as all of them got out of this. ]
Anika and them did exactly what I needed them to do. [ It would've turned into a bigger bloodbath if they'd gotten involved. Dregs versus Dregs, rather than the conversation it ended up being: showing them all who was going to keep them from rolling over for Rollins. ]
Some might. [ He gives her a small shrug after he takes the compress, wincing when he does. Carefully, he puts it over his swollen eye, letting out a sigh at the chill of the cloth. ] It would be a mistake, but they might.
[ how he is so calm after what inej perceives as a betrayal completely baffles her. but she supposes it has always been this way; kaz's anger tends to run cold and ruthless, whereas inej runs hot. she acts on emotion, rather than calculation, and kaz sees all sides of the problem before anyone else does. so when kaz says that they did exactly what they needed him to do, she runs the scene over in her head again.
a bloodbath wouldn't have suited anyone, she supposes that much is true. and had inej gotten involved, it certainly would have become one. few people in the dregs have actually seen inej fight in close combat, her preferred style always lingering in the rooftops, silent as the grave. and once the dregs figured out that the wraith could only handle so many people at once, she would have quickly been overrun and pinned to the ground. or worse.
diplomacy, of all things, was what won in the end. and pride.
so inej exhales slowly, releasing the anger out in a single breath as she unscrews a jar of healing balm. ]
The majority of them are pathetic sellswords who would flee to the highest bidder.
[ in a disgruntled mutter, which is really just code for inej admitting that kaz is right, without saying the words. but she will quietly remove anika, roeder, and pim from her list of the aggrieved. for now, anyway.
she glances at him, then, her expression less muted fury and more a familiar softer concern, her brow furrowing a little. glad to see he's using the compress, but he really should have some balm on his more open wounds. and his split lip. and, more importantly: ]
[ They balance each other out in a lot of ways. He's used to being more objective with things, with looking at it from every angle to make sure he didn't miss anything. It made it easier to formulate plans or heists, fitting all the pieces together.
Inej is guided by her emotion. Something he scoffed at for a long time before realizing how strong of a person it made her. That she could still want to share and show those things despite what was done to her.
And maybe he's more than a little warmed in knowing she's angry on his behalf. He glances up when she huffs out a breath, a small smile quirking the corner of his mouth. ]
My pathetic sellswords now. [ They'll see how long that lasted. Maybe he'd be able to build them up like he did with the Slat.
She asks if he wants his ribs bandaged and he can feel the chill of hesitation. It would be smart, considering the beating he took. But would it be too overwhelming?
He thinks about earlier, the warm relief under his skin and nods, not trusting his voice. ]
[ pathetic sellswords all teh same, though inej lets the point lapse. instead, she waits for kaz to make up his mind, and when he nods, she offers him a brief smile. and she reaches out to gently brush his hair out of his eyes again. his face is bruised, and he really should keep cold compress on it. her fingers rest lightly against his cheek as she tilts his head a little, surveying the bruises.
kaz may be right, that a brutal bloodbath would have made everything worse, but saints knows that the individuals who took their chances at fighting kaz brekker deserve the harbor. she wants to kiss him, an idle want that passes through her easily, before she realizes she should focus on the task at hand. ]
You look terrible, so it is hard to know where to begin.
[ it's said dryly, but informatively. mostly to break the tension that is now hanging between them. but she's seen him without his shirt before, mostly due to his own incompetence and lack of modesty. she still idly wonders how he would react if she stripped down to nothing to wash herself in the middle of the room. given their experiences in the ice court and the prison wagon, inej isn't so sure he would maintain consciousness. and also be annoyed at dripping on his desk. ]
Do you want salve for your face, first? [ and she adds, tone steadfast: ] You will need to take off your shirt, for anything else.
Harsh. [ His tone isn't though, softened at the edges from being here with her and her alone. And from her small smile, the gentle way she brushes his hair out of his eyes. There's a brief moment where he draws back when she sets her fingers on his cheek but it's a knee-jerk reaction, one he relaxes on.
There's another temptation to touch her, to fold his hand over hers. To lean in closer and finish what he'd started earlier in the Geldrunner's bathroom.
The tension breaks, though, and it's back to business. Important business, honestly, even if he wants to shrug it off and carry on. A little patching up before they head back is something they have time for. ]
Wrapping is more critical. I don't need to be pretty to face off with Van Eck. [ Even if the idea of stripping is giving him a bit of a cold sweat. Still, it would take him twice as long to do it on his own–turning even a little is enough to make him hiss in pain.
Using the desk as leverage, he pushes himself up and gingerly shrugs his coat off. And then his gloves and shirt, something he's done in front of Inej plenty of times. It's both comfortable and uncomfortable this time; their dynamic has shifted. It's also a slower process than he wants it to be, finding it hard to lift his arms too high with all the bruising down his side. ]
I am not concerned with making you pretty; I am concerned with your smug face becoming infected because your new underlings don't wash their hands before brutalizing someone.
[ a bit incredulously, though she does step back a little to allow him the space to move. she doesn't offer to help with the coat, though she does take it from him after he shrugs it off, keeping her distance as he unbuttons his shirt. once that's done, though, inej frowns to herself in though before pushing herself up onto his desk to sit, scooting over a bit to sit in front of him, so he can remain between her knees. easier to wrap that way, and really, it's the same as in the geldrunner. just now, he has no shirt.
she ignores that portion, though, as she glances up at him with with arched eyebrows, the jar of salve now in her hand. ]
You are safe, with me.
[ it's said gently, before she holds out her free hand, so he can take it. more to prove to himself that he can touch her, than anything else. ]
The balm will make the pain less, but it is up to you whether you want to do that part yourself. [ and, before he can complain that she is babying him, inej adds: ] You have no choice on the bandaging; I am doing that for you whether you like it or not.
[ he will only make his bruised ribs worse by twisting his waist around trying to make the linens lay flat. and, sometimes, taking the choice away (even in name only, as inej would never force him to do anything he was not comfortable with) can make the decision easier. ]
[ Valid concerns, definitely. Most of the Dregs aren't nearly as fastidious as he is. He knows their more disgusting habits, for the most part. Still, he has to prioritize and she's letting him, giving him space as he shrugs his top off.
With a little maneuvering, they're echoing the Geldrunner in full. It makes sense to do it this way, considering the difference in their heights. But there's something under the near painful self-awareness. Well, he supposes it's always been there but, the greed got a taste and now it's desperate for another.
Like a Grisha on parem. Get a grip. ]
I know. [ Not all of him is convinced, too many bad habits screaming at him to walk away. He'd seen what a little pushing could do, though. Knows that Inej fights through something similar anytime someone gets into her personal space too much. So he does take her hand after hesitating, fingers curled loosely around hers. Nausea sticks at the back of his throat and he swallows it, focusing on how much everything stings, on her gentle urging. ]
I'll do it. [ Too much misery bubbles up when he thinks about that much contact, has a feeling the stickiness of the balm would make it even worse. He's gotten this far, he doesn't want to backtrack so quickly.
So he does let go of her hand to take the jar, a strange sense of something missing fluttering in his chest when he breaks the contact. It's thrilling and terrifying, like jumping from one roof to another.
Thankfully, applying the salve takes more of his attention away from it. There's still an awareness because how could he not be, but his hands have something to do. And, well, it does hurt more than expected in a few spots. Nothing clears the head quite so well. ]
[ the contact sparks a warm current underneath her skin, and she offers him the jar without complaint, understanding that some things are just too much. but she, too, misses his hand when he withdraws it to focus on his wounds, instead unraveling the bandages in her lap.
she's fairly certain she can manage this without touching him at all, if she's creative. and her mind is lost in the thought of figuring out how to do that when the cringe of pain catches her attention, her eyes flickering to his side. taking note of the points where it seems to hurt the most.
kaz couldn't make it through another fight, not like that. he really needed to be put to bed and rest, which he would hear none of. so whatever he has schemed up to fight back against van eck had best be diplomatic, though inej suspects jan van eck would not go down without a vicious fight.
and if van eck would, pekka rollins absolutely wouldn't. yet another demon in the dark that needed to be removed so they could breathe easier in ketterdam. but both of them were still breathing, and still there to fight. knives drawn, pistols blazing. not much could tear them apart once they were on the same page.
jan van eck. who knew he would be such a thorn in their side. but at that thought, a faint smile curves her lips, eyes flickering back to the bandages in her lap. ]
You were right, you know.
[ she says after a moment, as she finishes unfurling the bandages she'll need to wrap his ribs, glancing back up at him, expression wry. ]
Stealing that ugly painting was worth it.
[ because no matter what van eck threatens to do to either of them, the fact remains that they have already bested him once. and they'll do so again. ]
[ Having clawed his way to here, he's used to pushing himself. Staying up and doing recon, working late into the night to finish the books, fighting a seemingly impossible amount of people. Not like he took a particular pleasure in what amounted to detrimental habits, but they were all things that needed to be done. No one else would step up, so be filled the space. Or saw that it was going to be necessary.
So while his current plans for taking down Van Eck don't involve him fighting any more people, he's braced himself for the possibility. It probably won't end well, considering how much he hurts right now, but he wouldn't back down easily.
Still, it is tempting to get bandaged up and just. Rest. There's basically no time for it, but tempting all the same. ]
Hm? [ He finishes with the salve in time to glance up and catch her dry smile. It's not an expression she wears often and he feels a different temptation to lean down and kiss the corner of her mouth. ]
A bit of insult to injury for him, at this point.
[ They did get past all the safeguards for it. And while Van Eck has plenty of power, he also has more to lose. More places he can't keep an eye on or control. ]
He will beg for mercy at the end of my blade and still not have his ugly painting by the end of the week. I call that a victory.
[ she says mildly, as if talking about the weather. and as kaz finishes applying the balm, she holds up the bandages, scooting herself a bit closer to the edge of the desk. she thinks she can do this without actually touching her skin to his, but just in case: ]
Stay still, I need to attach the bandage.
[ she murmurs, careful not to touch with her fingers, but gently placing the end of the bandaging against the palm kaz has already placed. it's naturally sticky, so adheres nicely, which allows inej to carefully continuing laying the bandage along. she wraps her arms around him to loop it around once, fingers pressing lighting against the bandage, avoiding skin. careful not to touch too much, but pulling the bandage around for another loop as she continues to work. ]
Talk to me, so you can focus on something else.
[ she says, as she shifts to loop the bandage around again, meticulous in making sure it lays flat against his ribs. ]
[ She says it with such a casual tone but he knows it for the threat she'd make a reality. It never fails to make his heart speed up, warmed by a faint sense of pride and maybe something else. Maybe he's got a few wires crossed. ]
I'm going to take everything from him. [ Not just a painting. But the payment they're owed, his lands, his respect from the council, his life. Not in the same sense Inej is insinuating, though he isn't opposed. He just wants him humiliated first, shown for exactly what he is.
All those thoughts tumble to a halt as she starts putting the bandage on, that first touch sending a small tremble through him. She isn't in contact with any of his skin but he can feel the brief points of warmth from her fingertips as she goes. It's almost too much. It's not enough.
She leans in to loop the cloth around his back and he inhales shakily. As always, caught between wanting to close the gap or staying still. ]
I couldn't stop thinking about how you snuck up on me for a few weeks.
[ Truthfully, the memory is as clear now as it was then. But he'd puzzled over it during those weeks, trying to figure out how, whether he'd been distracted or she had actually been that silent.
Nor could he forget the way his pulse had spiked from the brief fear. The shot of adrenaline from being taken by surprise. ]
[ he seems to be okay, albeit nervous. anxious. but his comment causes a faint upturn of her lips into an amused smile, as she lays another layer of bandages against his skin. careful to not touch too much. ]
Heleen hated it, when I did that. [ as she smooths a light crease in the bandages, shifting her weight a little to loop another round. ] She made me wear anything loud enough to jingle so she could know where I was.
[ much to her fury, inej only learned how to adjust her weight to avoid any sound whatsoever. but she settles back a little bit, to continue her work, her tone shifting from amused to a little more somber. ]
I knew I would be safe with you; I had been watching you come and go. [ she tugs the bandages a little bit tighter, careful not to put too much pressure on the bruising, but making sure they were tight enough to stabilize the bruised ribs. ] You always said no whenever she offered to sell you a girl for an hour.
[ which made kaz different, at the very least. and far better than the other gang members that frequented the menagerie, though inej suspects the dregs avoided the brothel after inej joined. those who were stupid enough to say they partook in such things lost teeth, if they said so within her earshot. or, quite frankly, kaz's.
she wraps a last loop around him, smoothing the bandage neatly before tying it off, tucking it into another layer. and she smiles to herself, settling back onto sitting on the desk. ]
[ It's just like her, to take on a challenge and beat it. Heleen had done everything in her power to break her determination and independence. In some ways, it worked, those claw marks left deep. But he knows she hasn't let that stop her. From learning to outdo the bells to now, feared in the streets as the Wraith. ]
You still took a chance.
[ He never took Heleen up on her offer because he knew he couldn't. Then, even the mere idea of touching skin made him feel ill. Even without that, he thinks he might've still said no. Heleen trapped her girls and he didn't want any part of that.
Inej tightens the bandage and he winces, just a bit, bruises definitely tender with the pressure. With one more loop, she finishes, the bandages laying flat and secure around his ribs. He smooths one hand over them, out of them pure habit, nodding at her handiwork. She smiles when she leans back and he wants to trace the slight curve, always liking how her face lit up with the expression. ]
This will do. [ Should keep him in one piece for the next day at least. ] We should head back.
[ There's still so much to do. But he selfishly wants to spend a little more time with just her, the world shut off from them. Especially if things don't pan out. This could be their last chance.
So he hesitates, not wanting to leave the bracket of her knees, this closeness of not quite touching. ]
[ we should head back, but he doesn't move. and inej watches him thoughtfully before she straightens into sitting up. edging back into his personal space, remembering how lovely it felt for him to kiss her cheek. and though she had teased him for being greedy, she feels the same. craving the closeness that she's wanted for years, but hasn't been able to seize for herself.
this time, though, inej leans forward just enough to brush her lips against his, the movement done before she really has time to think about it. it's purposefully gentle, mindful of his injuries, though she pulls back just enough to murmur: ]
You are going to need to move if we are heading back.
[ and inej reaches out to gently smooth her palm against the bandages, the touch feather light. ]
[ Neither of them move for a brief moment. Inej does first, though, straightening up on his desk, clearly determined. In doing so, she closes the gap between them more. His pulse is loud in his ears, a familiar surge of greediness under his skin.
He doesn't have a chance to worry about the past or water dragging him down. Not when she leans in and gently brushes her lips across his, a touch that's there and gone. When she pulls away, he lets out a shuddering sigh, feeling his face heat at how little had done so much. ]
It's an idea. [ Before he moves, he traces his thumb across her knuckles. A parting gift, a possible last touch till all this is through. He steps out of her space then, taking hold of his cane to hobble into his room and pick out a fresh shirt. ]
[ she already misses him when he steps out of her space, his fingers brushing hers. she watches him limp to his room for a moment before she pushes herself up onto her feet to follow after him, shoulder leaning against the doorframe. ]
Good idea, maybe.
[ though she can't deny that keeping him here and having him sleep is the best idea. but that is a war she is not going to win. though, as kaz picks out a fresh shirt and begins to (gingerly) shrug into it, she straightens up to step into his room properly. ]
Come here.
[ she murmurs, as she reaches out to tug his shirt a little straighter, beginning to button it up. the movement more efficient, and it would prevent kaz from moving his arms too much. it puts them much closer again, but inej keeps herself focused on the task. though she's sorely tempted to kiss him again.
maybe later. but as she thinks about that, another thought pops into her head, and inej says (as she buttons, ever pragmatic): ]
Maybe. [ His answer is amused, as he pulls a shirt out and sets his cane aside to pull it on. He can feel her eyes on his back, though he's attempting to ignore the stare in favor of getting dressed.
It's a slow process, since he lifts his arm up too quickly on the first go, inhaling sharply at the sudden pain along his side. The second try is slightly better, though the aggravated bruises are throbbing under the bandage. Eventually, he gets both shirtsleeves on and is bracing himself to straighten the collar out.
Inej solves that for him, instead, her small fingers sliding under the collar to make it lie flat. She tugs the front straight, palms smoothing over the material to rid it of creases. He wants nothing more than to lean into it, feeling a sudden and dizzy rush of warmth. Instead, he remains still, letting her finish with the buttons. ]
In a minute. [ The final touch, after he makes sure he's at least presentable with his clothes. At the moment, he's a bit distracted thinking about how this resembles something out of a dream.
When his shirt's buttoned, he ticks the tails in carefully and then pulls on a coat with the same measured pace. It would be relatively easy to get a healer to deal with this, but he needs people to believe the fight happened here. ]
[ he's in pain. she can tell, by the movement of his arms, how slowly it takes him to tug on his coat. but inej allows him the space to do so, carefully watching for an opportunity to help. she finds one in straightening his coat, tugging it a bit firmer around his shoulders, smoothing out the fabric against his sides.
saints, she wants nothing more than to stay in the attic and pretend the world outside doesn't exist. but they need to get back to nina, matthias, jesper, wylan. everyone crammed into the geldrunner, waiting for the next move. so she sighs to herself, turning to collect kaz's cane and gloves, thinking out loud to herself: ]
You should be able to go through the back alleys, now. It would be quicker, safer than injuring yourself on the rooftops. [ with the added bonus that inej would be watching his back from above, ready to drop whoever came near him with a well-placed throw of her blade. ] Or I'll come with you, the longer way.
[ she can at least be there to pull him up when he lands. and, without looking up from her task of finding his gloves, she says: ]
[ She steps into his space again when she tugs his coat straight, making sure the lapels laid flat and the shoulders weren't bunched up. It's harder to feel the warmth of her hands through two layers but the pressure is enough. Really, he shouldn't like it, not after the beating he took—everything aches.
He craves it, though, despite everything. Feels that same urge to let her keep going, to fold himself in towards her and shut out the rest of everything.
There's work to be done, however. And Kaz Brekker does not leave loose ends. ]
I'll take the alleys. [ Now that the Dregs are squared away, he won't have to dodge Haskell's ire. There are other gangs but he and Inej know the paths that will circumvent their territories. Or will at least let them pass mostly unnoticed.
At her sharp reminder, he nearly sighs, going to pick the jar of salve back up again. Limping over to the small mirror near his dresser, he carefully applies some of the balm to his face, wincing occasionally when his fingers pass over a cut. It stings worse than the ones on his chest—face wounds always did. ]
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Still, there are some choice words he'd like to say to him, to all of them. They've always been carefully tucked behind his teeth, knowing the time would come when he'd get to say his piece.
And this is it.
He reviews it all as he picks his way over the rooftops, remembering Inej's warnings about the slippery footing on a few of the spots. Part of him wonders if he should turn back and ask her to come. It would make this whole plan easier knowing her knives were there, that she was watching his back.
But he knows what that would look like to the Dregs, to Per Haskell: weakness. And if he needed them to buy into what he was going to say, they needed to see him as he was on his own.
Swinging himself into his bedroom window, he stops to change, splashing some water on his face and making sure not a hair was out of place. Maybe it was nonsensical, considering what he was anticipating, but he'd learned presentation mattered. Once cleaned up, he steps out of his room and towards the staircase, listening intently to the sounds of the raucous downstairs. Above the noise, he can make out Haskell's particular crowing, laughter and cheers following in its wake. ]
Old man. [ And that's how it all starts, Haskell giving him exactly what he needed: an audience. He knew the old man couldn't resist, always wanting to humble Kaz or strip away some of his prideful attitude. So he let him have what he wanted and turned it into something else. A demonstration. A proving. A hard truth.
When he's done, he's gotten what he's come for: the Dregs under new leadership. He's also gotten what he expected, which is a fairly thorough beating. He'd known he could fight through what was thrown at him and now he's dealing with the consequences of the decision. Everything hurt in various ways, especially his leg, which felt like it was on fire. After he gets more settled with Anika and Pim and Roeder, he makes his way back up the stairs, knowing who he's likely to meet on the way.
She shows up on the third story landing, probably having come in from her room, a small but strong arm sliding around his waist. Part of him wants to shrug it off, just in case anyone is watching, but he knows they aren't. Too much cleanup and no one is brazen enough to bother with him after such a showing. So he lets her help him into his room, leaning against the desk with a low hiss once the door is closed behind them. ]
Shouldn't have expected you'd stay clear of this.
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once she has it, she moves back into his office, setting the kit next to him before moving to fill the wash basin with water. she runs her fingers under it briefly -- cold, which will help keep down the swelling, though she glances toward him with an unimpressed look. ]
You told me I had to wait until six bells before I intervened; I did as I was told.
[ it wasn't her fault kaz failed to specify a location, in agreeing to her compromise.
she tugs a rag from a nearby cupboard, dropping it into the cold water to soak it through. and while she waits for that, she crosses to stand in front of him, gingerly brushing his hair out of his eyes before standing up on her toes to rest her forehead against his, closing her eyes to murmur something under her breath in suli. a prayer of thanks, to the saints, for protecting him. ]
But I am never agreeing to sit idly by again, boss.
[ the last part might sound a little sarcastic, as inej has never (and will never) refer to him as her boss, even if it was (mostly) true. but there's a small note of pride, in her tone, before she settles back on her feet, opening her eyes to frown at him, examining his injuries with a flicker of her gaze over his features. ]
You need to put a compress over your right eye, or you will not be able to see out of it.
[ it's a quiet murmur, before she moves back to the sink, to ring out the cloth and fold it into a compress. ]
Sit in your chair, you will be more comfortable.
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He's pulled from the spinning thoughts when she comes back over, her fingertips light as a feather where she brushes his hair back. As she goes on her toes, he inhales, braced for the horrible pull of water. It doesn't come, not exactly, anyway, remaining a niggling feeling that is washed out by the relief of the brief touch. There's a temptation to reach out and cup the side of her face but by the time he makes a decision, the moment's passed. ]
I don't plan on having to do this all over again. [ A special case. If it had been any other circumstance, he would've been glad to have the surety that either she or Jesper were nearby in case things went straight to hell.
It's a testament to how much he aches that he doesn't argue when she suggests he sit down. Setting his cane aside, he lowers himself into his desk chair with a low groan, the bruising on his ribs making itself known. ]
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she works in silence for a moment, to tug out what she needs to take care of him. idly, inej realizes neither of them are really in the shape to continue doing whatever it is they need to do in order to save themselves and this hell of a city they've decided to protect. her wounds still pull under the fresh bandages, but inej ignores the sting to fold a cold compress, squeezing out the excess water. ]
They do not deserve you.
[ she says finally, her tone quiet as she holds out the compress for him to take. kaz had barely managed to bandage her own wounds; inej won't offer to assist him until she's certain the touch won't make him feel worse. ]
The cowards would not have a roof over their heads if it weren't for you, and they did nothing.
[ it's hard to keep the anger out of her tone, though she speaks quietly, returning her focus to casting her gaze around the room, finding the nearby ottoman that kaz uses to prop up his leg tucked in a corner. it only takes a few seconds to bring it near enough so he can rest his leg properly. and, as inej starts to unfurl bandages, she adds, with no lack of bitterness: ]
They should flee to Pekka Rollins while they still have the chance. The spinelessness would suit.
[ and even then, they shouldn't feel safe. inej would cut down pekka rollins too. ]
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Anything and everything to get them all out of swinging because Jan Van Eck said so. He was the stupid pigeon that got them into this and he'll get them out. Even if, should things go completely sideways, he needs to take the fall for all of it. ]
And I probably haven't deserved to get this far. The Barrel doesn't care, you know that. [ He'd always known he'd lose a popularity contest, a show of solidarity and loyalty, if it came to the Dregs having to choose him over Per Haskell. The old man wasn't very good at keeping a roof over their heads, but he was personable. Treated so many of them like sons or daughters when they had nothing. Too many of them still remembered Haskell giving them their shot, their chance at something better than scraping on the streets. He had his own group but it was small in comparison. Something he planned on rectifying, as long as all of them got out of this. ]
Anika and them did exactly what I needed them to do. [ It would've turned into a bigger bloodbath if they'd gotten involved. Dregs versus Dregs, rather than the conversation it ended up being: showing them all who was going to keep them from rolling over for Rollins. ]
Some might. [ He gives her a small shrug after he takes the compress, wincing when he does. Carefully, he puts it over his swollen eye, letting out a sigh at the chill of the cloth. ] It would be a mistake, but they might.
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a bloodbath wouldn't have suited anyone, she supposes that much is true. and had inej gotten involved, it certainly would have become one. few people in the dregs have actually seen inej fight in close combat, her preferred style always lingering in the rooftops, silent as the grave. and once the dregs figured out that the wraith could only handle so many people at once, she would have quickly been overrun and pinned to the ground. or worse.
diplomacy, of all things, was what won in the end. and pride.
so inej exhales slowly, releasing the anger out in a single breath as she unscrews a jar of healing balm. ]
The majority of them are pathetic sellswords who would flee to the highest bidder.
[ in a disgruntled mutter, which is really just code for inej admitting that kaz is right, without saying the words. but she will quietly remove anika, roeder, and pim from her list of the aggrieved. for now, anyway.
she glances at him, then, her expression less muted fury and more a familiar softer concern, her brow furrowing a little. glad to see he's using the compress, but he really should have some balm on his more open wounds. and his split lip. and, more importantly: ]
Do you want your ribs bandaged?
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Inej is guided by her emotion. Something he scoffed at for a long time before realizing how strong of a person it made her. That she could still want to share and show those things despite what was done to her.
And maybe he's more than a little warmed in knowing she's angry on his behalf. He glances up when she huffs out a breath, a small smile quirking the corner of his mouth. ]
My pathetic sellswords now. [ They'll see how long that lasted. Maybe he'd be able to build them up like he did with the Slat.
She asks if he wants his ribs bandaged and he can feel the chill of hesitation. It would be smart, considering the beating he took. But would it be too overwhelming?
He thinks about earlier, the warm relief under his skin and nods, not trusting his voice. ]
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kaz may be right, that a brutal bloodbath would have made everything worse, but saints knows that the individuals who took their chances at fighting kaz brekker deserve the harbor. she wants to kiss him, an idle want that passes through her easily, before she realizes she should focus on the task at hand. ]
You look terrible, so it is hard to know where to begin.
[ it's said dryly, but informatively. mostly to break the tension that is now hanging between them. but she's seen him without his shirt before, mostly due to his own incompetence and lack of modesty. she still idly wonders how he would react if she stripped down to nothing to wash herself in the middle of the room. given their experiences in the ice court and the prison wagon, inej isn't so sure he would maintain consciousness. and also be annoyed at dripping on his desk. ]
Do you want salve for your face, first? [ and she adds, tone steadfast: ] You will need to take off your shirt, for anything else.
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There's another temptation to touch her, to fold his hand over hers. To lean in closer and finish what he'd started earlier in the Geldrunner's bathroom.
The tension breaks, though, and it's back to business. Important business, honestly, even if he wants to shrug it off and carry on. A little patching up before they head back is something they have time for. ]
Wrapping is more critical. I don't need to be pretty to face off with Van Eck. [ Even if the idea of stripping is giving him a bit of a cold sweat. Still, it would take him twice as long to do it on his own–turning even a little is enough to make him hiss in pain.
Using the desk as leverage, he pushes himself up and gingerly shrugs his coat off. And then his gloves and shirt, something he's done in front of Inej plenty of times. It's both comfortable and uncomfortable this time; their dynamic has shifted. It's also a slower process than he wants it to be, finding it hard to lift his arms too high with all the bruising down his side. ]
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[ a bit incredulously, though she does step back a little to allow him the space to move. she doesn't offer to help with the coat, though she does take it from him after he shrugs it off, keeping her distance as he unbuttons his shirt. once that's done, though, inej frowns to herself in though before pushing herself up onto his desk to sit, scooting over a bit to sit in front of him, so he can remain between her knees. easier to wrap that way, and really, it's the same as in the geldrunner. just now, he has no shirt.
she ignores that portion, though, as she glances up at him with with arched eyebrows, the jar of salve now in her hand. ]
You are safe, with me.
[ it's said gently, before she holds out her free hand, so he can take it. more to prove to himself that he can touch her, than anything else. ]
The balm will make the pain less, but it is up to you whether you want to do that part yourself. [ and, before he can complain that she is babying him, inej adds: ] You have no choice on the bandaging; I am doing that for you whether you like it or not.
[ he will only make his bruised ribs worse by twisting his waist around trying to make the linens lay flat. and, sometimes, taking the choice away (even in name only, as inej would never force him to do anything he was not comfortable with) can make the decision easier. ]
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With a little maneuvering, they're echoing the Geldrunner in full. It makes sense to do it this way, considering the difference in their heights. But there's something under the near painful self-awareness. Well, he supposes it's always been there but, the greed got a taste and now it's desperate for another.
Like a Grisha on parem. Get a grip. ]
I know. [ Not all of him is convinced, too many bad habits screaming at him to walk away. He'd seen what a little pushing could do, though. Knows that Inej fights through something similar anytime someone gets into her personal space too much. So he does take her hand after hesitating, fingers curled loosely around hers. Nausea sticks at the back of his throat and he swallows it, focusing on how much everything stings, on her gentle urging. ]
I'll do it. [ Too much misery bubbles up when he thinks about that much contact, has a feeling the stickiness of the balm would make it even worse. He's gotten this far, he doesn't want to backtrack so quickly.
So he does let go of her hand to take the jar, a strange sense of something missing fluttering in his chest when he breaks the contact. It's thrilling and terrifying, like jumping from one roof to another.
Thankfully, applying the salve takes more of his attention away from it. There's still an awareness because how could he not be, but his hands have something to do. And, well, it does hurt more than expected in a few spots. Nothing clears the head quite so well. ]
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she's fairly certain she can manage this without touching him at all, if she's creative. and her mind is lost in the thought of figuring out how to do that when the cringe of pain catches her attention, her eyes flickering to his side. taking note of the points where it seems to hurt the most.
kaz couldn't make it through another fight, not like that. he really needed to be put to bed and rest, which he would hear none of. so whatever he has schemed up to fight back against van eck had best be diplomatic, though inej suspects jan van eck would not go down without a vicious fight.
and if van eck would, pekka rollins absolutely wouldn't. yet another demon in the dark that needed to be removed so they could breathe easier in ketterdam. but both of them were still breathing, and still there to fight. knives drawn, pistols blazing. not much could tear them apart once they were on the same page.
jan van eck. who knew he would be such a thorn in their side. but at that thought, a faint smile curves her lips, eyes flickering back to the bandages in her lap. ]
You were right, you know.
[ she says after a moment, as she finishes unfurling the bandages she'll need to wrap his ribs, glancing back up at him, expression wry. ]
Stealing that ugly painting was worth it.
[ because no matter what van eck threatens to do to either of them, the fact remains that they have already bested him once. and they'll do so again. ]
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So while his current plans for taking down Van Eck don't involve him fighting any more people, he's braced himself for the possibility. It probably won't end well, considering how much he hurts right now, but he wouldn't back down easily.
Still, it is tempting to get bandaged up and just. Rest. There's basically no time for it, but tempting all the same. ]
Hm? [ He finishes with the salve in time to glance up and catch her dry smile. It's not an expression she wears often and he feels a different temptation to lean down and kiss the corner of her mouth. ]
A bit of insult to injury for him, at this point.
[ They did get past all the safeguards for it. And while Van Eck has plenty of power, he also has more to lose. More places he can't keep an eye on or control. ]
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[ she says mildly, as if talking about the weather. and as kaz finishes applying the balm, she holds up the bandages, scooting herself a bit closer to the edge of the desk. she thinks she can do this without actually touching her skin to his, but just in case: ]
Stay still, I need to attach the bandage.
[ she murmurs, careful not to touch with her fingers, but gently placing the end of the bandaging against the palm kaz has already placed. it's naturally sticky, so adheres nicely, which allows inej to carefully continuing laying the bandage along. she wraps her arms around him to loop it around once, fingers pressing lighting against the bandage, avoiding skin. careful not to touch too much, but pulling the bandage around for another loop as she continues to work. ]
Talk to me, so you can focus on something else.
[ she says, as she shifts to loop the bandage around again, meticulous in making sure it lays flat against his ribs. ]
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I'm going to take everything from him. [ Not just a painting. But the payment they're owed, his lands, his respect from the council, his life. Not in the same sense Inej is insinuating, though he isn't opposed. He just wants him humiliated first, shown for exactly what he is.
All those thoughts tumble to a halt as she starts putting the bandage on, that first touch sending a small tremble through him. She isn't in contact with any of his skin but he can feel the brief points of warmth from her fingertips as she goes. It's almost too much. It's not enough.
She leans in to loop the cloth around his back and he inhales shakily. As always, caught between wanting to close the gap or staying still. ]
I couldn't stop thinking about how you snuck up on me for a few weeks.
[ Truthfully, the memory is as clear now as it was then. But he'd puzzled over it during those weeks, trying to figure out how, whether he'd been distracted or she had actually been that silent.
Nor could he forget the way his pulse had spiked from the brief fear. The shot of adrenaline from being taken by surprise. ]
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Heleen hated it, when I did that. [ as she smooths a light crease in the bandages, shifting her weight a little to loop another round. ] She made me wear anything loud enough to jingle so she could know where I was.
[ much to her fury, inej only learned how to adjust her weight to avoid any sound whatsoever. but she settles back a little bit, to continue her work, her tone shifting from amused to a little more somber. ]
I knew I would be safe with you; I had been watching you come and go. [ she tugs the bandages a little bit tighter, careful not to put too much pressure on the bruising, but making sure they were tight enough to stabilize the bruised ribs. ] You always said no whenever she offered to sell you a girl for an hour.
[ which made kaz different, at the very least. and far better than the other gang members that frequented the menagerie, though inej suspects the dregs avoided the brothel after inej joined. those who were stupid enough to say they partook in such things lost teeth, if they said so within her earshot. or, quite frankly, kaz's.
she wraps a last loop around him, smoothing the bandage neatly before tying it off, tucking it into another layer. and she smiles to herself, settling back onto sitting on the desk. ]
Better? Or do you need more?
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You still took a chance.
[ He never took Heleen up on her offer because he knew he couldn't. Then, even the mere idea of touching skin made him feel ill. Even without that, he thinks he might've still said no. Heleen trapped her girls and he didn't want any part of that.
Inej tightens the bandage and he winces, just a bit, bruises definitely tender with the pressure. With one more loop, she finishes, the bandages laying flat and secure around his ribs. He smooths one hand over them, out of them pure habit, nodding at her handiwork. She smiles when she leans back and he wants to trace the slight curve, always liking how her face lit up with the expression. ]
This will do. [ Should keep him in one piece for the next day at least. ] We should head back.
[ There's still so much to do. But he selfishly wants to spend a little more time with just her, the world shut off from them. Especially if things don't pan out. This could be their last chance.
So he hesitates, not wanting to leave the bracket of her knees, this closeness of not quite touching. ]
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this time, though, inej leans forward just enough to brush her lips against his, the movement done before she really has time to think about it. it's purposefully gentle, mindful of his injuries, though she pulls back just enough to murmur: ]
You are going to need to move if we are heading back.
[ and inej reaches out to gently smooth her palm against the bandages, the touch feather light. ]
And you need a shirt.
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He doesn't have a chance to worry about the past or water dragging him down. Not when she leans in and gently brushes her lips across his, a touch that's there and gone. When she pulls away, he lets out a shuddering sigh, feeling his face heat at how little had done so much. ]
It's an idea. [ Before he moves, he traces his thumb across her knuckles. A parting gift, a possible last touch till all this is through. He steps out of her space then, taking hold of his cane to hobble into his room and pick out a fresh shirt. ]
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Good idea, maybe.
[ though she can't deny that keeping him here and having him sleep is the best idea. but that is a war she is not going to win. though, as kaz picks out a fresh shirt and begins to (gingerly) shrug into it, she straightens up to step into his room properly. ]
Come here.
[ she murmurs, as she reaches out to tug his shirt a little straighter, beginning to button it up. the movement more efficient, and it would prevent kaz from moving his arms too much. it puts them much closer again, but inej keeps herself focused on the task. though she's sorely tempted to kiss him again.
maybe later. but as she thinks about that, another thought pops into her head, and inej says (as she buttons, ever pragmatic): ]
You still need to put salve on your face.
[ just in case he forgot. ]
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It's a slow process, since he lifts his arm up too quickly on the first go, inhaling sharply at the sudden pain along his side. The second try is slightly better, though the aggravated bruises are throbbing under the bandage. Eventually, he gets both shirtsleeves on and is bracing himself to straighten the collar out.
Inej solves that for him, instead, her small fingers sliding under the collar to make it lie flat. She tugs the front straight, palms smoothing over the material to rid it of creases. He wants nothing more than to lean into it, feeling a sudden and dizzy rush of warmth. Instead, he remains still, letting her finish with the buttons. ]
In a minute. [ The final touch, after he makes sure he's at least presentable with his clothes. At the moment, he's a bit distracted thinking about how this resembles something out of a dream.
When his shirt's buttoned, he ticks the tails in carefully and then pulls on a coat with the same measured pace. It would be relatively easy to get a healer to deal with this, but he needs people to believe the fight happened here. ]
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saints, she wants nothing more than to stay in the attic and pretend the world outside doesn't exist. but they need to get back to nina, matthias, jesper, wylan. everyone crammed into the geldrunner, waiting for the next move. so she sighs to herself, turning to collect kaz's cane and gloves, thinking out loud to herself: ]
You should be able to go through the back alleys, now. It would be quicker, safer than injuring yourself on the rooftops. [ with the added bonus that inej would be watching his back from above, ready to drop whoever came near him with a well-placed throw of her blade. ] Or I'll come with you, the longer way.
[ she can at least be there to pull him up when he lands. and, without looking up from her task of finding his gloves, she says: ]
Salve.
[ fix your damn face already. ]
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He craves it, though, despite everything. Feels that same urge to let her keep going, to fold himself in towards her and shut out the rest of everything.
There's work to be done, however. And Kaz Brekker does not leave loose ends. ]
I'll take the alleys. [ Now that the Dregs are squared away, he won't have to dodge Haskell's ire. There are other gangs but he and Inej know the paths that will circumvent their territories. Or will at least let them pass mostly unnoticed.
At her sharp reminder, he nearly sighs, going to pick the jar of salve back up again. Limping over to the small mirror near his dresser, he carefully applies some of the balm to his face, wincing occasionally when his fingers pass over a cut. It stings worse than the ones on his chest—face wounds always did. ]