It's been attempted. Poorly, but attempted. Been a while though.
[ probably because they got wise to her being an accomplished mage. moreover: she was too well-connected. too entrenched in the community; so many owed her a favor or knew someone who owed her a favor. anyone who tried to carry her off would find an entire swathe of Dock Town blocking their way.
the thought warms her as much as it sobers her–those same people are suffering at the hands of the Venatori.
she pulls herself away from that dark path and leaves her note, packs up her meager belongings, and gratefully accepts the cloak that Lucanis drapes over her shoulders. it's a practical thing, being a darker color that didn't stand out like her standard whites and teals. the only problem with it, really, is that she has to stop herself from turning her nose towards the stiff collar. is she so sleep deprived and touch starved that she's dreamily inhaling the scent of Lucanis' cologne that sticks to the fabric? no. maybe.
well, okay, yeah.
it's much of what occupies her thoughts, alongside the steady warmth of his hand in hers, as they wind their way through the convoluted streets of Dock Town. she's called upon to get them past a few sticky parts, but otherwise their journey is fairly undisturbed.
as soon as they step through the eluvian and breathe the strange magic-laden air of the Fade, some of her tension lowers. more sloughs off when they cross the rippling silver of Treviso's eluvian and onto the sturdy dark stained wood of the Diamond's upper floor. there's a jab of envy, resentment, that this place is intact while her home isn't. but then guilt from the thought sweeps it away, leaving her chewing her lower lip while Lucanis sneaks them through the Diamond, clearly intent on avoiding being spotted by his fellow Crows.
once they both head into the suite (a whole suite, she marvels), the silence that follows the closing door is a balm that slides across her senses. and then suddenly, she acutely feels every hour she hasn't slept.
undoing her borrowed cloak (with a touch of reluctance, the same feeling she has when she lets go of his hand again), she perches on the all-too-plush bed, stretching her legs in front of her. ]
I think...I need to garner some strength before I end up accidentally drowning in a hot tub. [ brightening a bit, she shoots him a teasing smile. ] Unless you're playing lifeguard.
[ her expression melts into a much more familiar tease, a casual flirting that lucanis has grown accustomed to, with neve. the idea makes him laugh, a little, and he soon joins her to sit next to her, tossing her an amused look. ]
I do not think I would make a very good lifeguard.
[ he knows what she means, but his job isn't necessarily to save people. though drowning isn't exactly his preferred method. too brutal, and messy. painful, even. he was a killer, not a monster. mostly. he mulls over that for a moment, his eyes flickering to the corner of the room where spite is lingering, entertaining itself by peering out the window toward the canal. a latent insecurity gnaws at the back of his mind, wondering whether or not embarking down this path was necessarily fair to the woman sitting next to him. after all, the demon was not going to go away. and honestly, lucanis was not entirely sure he wanted it to go. ]
I was worried, when the dust settled here. That the worst had happened to you.
[ he said finally, resting his hands on the bed, palms pressed to the smooth comforter simply begging to be curled up in. neve does have a point; the bed sounds far more appealing than the bath, at the moment. lucanis considers adding that rook was worried sick, but he chooses not to; rook earning neve's forgiveness was something he needed to do on his own.
he hesitates for a beat, but he had said he would talk about it when they got to the room. but she was tired, and it didn't seem fair to suddenly dump all of his confused, tangled emotions on her lap right after she lost her entire city. so he settles on a simple truth: ]
[ but, she lets it go after that, seeing his expression sober up. following his eyeline, she catches sight of Spite loitering near one of the large windows, where its curiously peering down towards the streets and canals. knowing Spite was not likely to cause much trouble at the moment, she turns her attention back to Lucanis, studying his face and waiting for what he was obviously gearing up to say.
it isn't...exactly surprising, when he admits to being worried. honestly, she had been worried, too. Minrathous had not been in a good way, during the dragon attack. and in the aftermath, she hadn't been sure she'd make it.
but, he goes on, after a moment of hesitation, and while she is tired, something in her is awoken, paying a great deal of attention to his words. Lucanis, she has observed, is not one to say things he doesn't mean. nor is he someone who is very open with his emotions, generally. so, the vulnerability in the moment is stark.
and yet, not unwelcome.
her heart squeezes in her chest, an ugly fear welling up right on the heels–an old story she's told herself–that she isn't worth it. that she only brings bad luck and hurt and pain. a string of losses behind her that feel endless. Neve swallows the words that want to spill forth, tentatively taking one of his hands in hers. ]
I don't really know what to say. But, I do know, despite everything, you've made me feel...listened to. Seen. Cared for. That–you mean more than I can express.
[ there's something of a tension, and lucanis is about to apologize for saying anything at all when neve takes his hand. his eyes flicker down to watch her fingers curl over his. definitely not as rough of his own, hewn by knives and arduous training since he was a young boy. but deadly in their own right, for however delicate they seemed to be.
he can't help but frown, though, at her response. not because it isn't wanted -- no, the news that neve shares his amorphous feelings of caring causes his heart to skip several beats, but the notion that being listened to, seen, or cared for was something of a unique experience for neve.
he lets neve hold his hand, allowing her to set the pace. a million things run through his head to say, all of them embarrassing or incredibly stupid.
instead, he says: ]
Despite everything? [ he doesn't need an explanation, really. they were both suspicious of one another, in the beginning. but lucanis has never been one to unnecessarily assume or carry a grudge, especially with someone who had risked their life to protect his, sight unseen. he squeezes her fingers a little, turning slightly to catch her gaze, eyes imploring. ] Neve, anyone who does not see you must be blind.
[ she is smart, cunning, beautiful, and dangerous - how anyone could avoid getting to know her for... whatever reason is beyond his comprehension. he had been struck the moment he saw her. and, honestly, how she hadn't immediately attempted to kill him once correctly spotting the demon lurking by lucanis' shoulder. even now, neve sees spite and doesn't skip a beat, accepting its presence without judgment or pause. ]
Besides -- [ and he reaches up with his spare hand to brush a loose piece of hair out of her eyes, tone wry. ] You are not the one with a demon grafted to your soul.
[ he doesn't balk, just as he hadn't earlier in the hideout, when she takes hold of his hand. their walk to the eluvian had seen them with linked hands as well but that was easier to pass off as practical.
though, clearly, both of them were feeling similar. it was too early to call love and to chalk it up to simple attraction felt inaccurate. there were softer feelings here, being cradled tenderly in the space between them. wrought by them working side by side, spending the small hours drinking coffee. or the times in the middle of battle, falling into a rhythm that had felt so natural. ]
I'm Tevinter, Lucanis, and not an altus or laetan and I cause enough trouble with my investigations to annoy all three mage classes.
[ she's made inroads with the slaves and soporati because she's typically helping them. but, that took time and plenty of effort. vints did not trust easily, not with their entire culture full of backstabbing and blood magic. ]
You didn't ask for a demon to get magically attached to your soul. [ Neve shrugs, as if that answers everything. ] Spite's pretty tame, as demons go.
[ lucanis knew, of course, of the tiered system in tevinter when it came to magic. mages were highly prized currency, but even amongst them, class and blood mattered most. unlike antiva, what you were born as truly mattered. anyone could become the first talon, in theory. even lucanis, the heir of one of the oldest and wealthiest houses in antiva, now had no real family left to his name. anyone could be killed, and at the end of the day, money did not protect you from a knife between the ribs.
and now, there was no first talon. something lucanis knows he has to deal with, eventually. but the contract took precedence. the last thing caterina wanted him to do took precedence. and truthfully, he was not suited to the job. not like this, a half-demon entity who had allowed his house crumble before him. maybe viago would want to take up the mantle.
all irrelevant, given the woman in front of him, who is shrugging off the fact that he is some twisted half-demonic entity. the compliment does not escape spite's notice, a delighted croon from the corner, which lucanis steadily ignores. he and the demon were on the same page, now, but that didn't mean lucanis had to pay mind to spite's intrusions. ]
Aggravating the Imperium seems to put you in good company. [ amused, squeezing her fingers gently. he wants to lean forward, he realizes, and kiss her. slide his fingers into her hair and pull her closer. it's a horrible idea. whatever this was. neve deserved better than whatever lucanis could provide her, but he didn't move. he also didn't lean forward. ] But all the same.
[ and he covers her hand with his, patting it gently before gingerly letting go. reluctantly. entertaining this was foolish; letting himself get attached is beyond foolish. besides, he had brought her here to rest, not... whatever was lingering in his mind.
coward. a hiss in the back of his mind as spite lingers next to lucanis, turning its piercing gaze onto neve for a long moment, a deep frown setting into place on the demon's stolen visage. lucanis doesn't necessarily disagree. ]
You need sleep. [ gently, as he gets ready to get back up. ] I can check to see if there are any pajamas in the drawers; Teia often pre-packs this particular suite with different luxuries.
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[ probably because they got wise to her being an accomplished mage. moreover: she was too well-connected. too entrenched in the community; so many owed her a favor or knew someone who owed her a favor. anyone who tried to carry her off would find an entire swathe of Dock Town blocking their way.
the thought warms her as much as it sobers her–those same people are suffering at the hands of the Venatori.
she pulls herself away from that dark path and leaves her note, packs up her meager belongings, and gratefully accepts the cloak that Lucanis drapes over her shoulders. it's a practical thing, being a darker color that didn't stand out like her standard whites and teals. the only problem with it, really, is that she has to stop herself from turning her nose towards the stiff collar. is she so sleep deprived and touch starved that she's dreamily inhaling the scent of Lucanis' cologne that sticks to the fabric? no. maybe.
well, okay, yeah.
it's much of what occupies her thoughts, alongside the steady warmth of his hand in hers, as they wind their way through the convoluted streets of Dock Town. she's called upon to get them past a few sticky parts, but otherwise their journey is fairly undisturbed.
as soon as they step through the eluvian and breathe the strange magic-laden air of the Fade, some of her tension lowers. more sloughs off when they cross the rippling silver of Treviso's eluvian and onto the sturdy dark stained wood of the Diamond's upper floor. there's a jab of envy, resentment, that this place is intact while her home isn't. but then guilt from the thought sweeps it away, leaving her chewing her lower lip while Lucanis sneaks them through the Diamond, clearly intent on avoiding being spotted by his fellow Crows.
once they both head into the suite (a whole suite, she marvels), the silence that follows the closing door is a balm that slides across her senses. and then suddenly, she acutely feels every hour she hasn't slept.
undoing her borrowed cloak (with a touch of reluctance, the same feeling she has when she lets go of his hand again), she perches on the all-too-plush bed, stretching her legs in front of her. ]
I think...I need to garner some strength before I end up accidentally drowning in a hot tub. [ brightening a bit, she shoots him a teasing smile. ] Unless you're playing lifeguard.
no subject
I do not think I would make a very good lifeguard.
[ he knows what she means, but his job isn't necessarily to save people. though drowning isn't exactly his preferred method. too brutal, and messy. painful, even. he was a killer, not a monster. mostly. he mulls over that for a moment, his eyes flickering to the corner of the room where spite is lingering, entertaining itself by peering out the window toward the canal. a latent insecurity gnaws at the back of his mind, wondering whether or not embarking down this path was necessarily fair to the woman sitting next to him. after all, the demon was not going to go away. and honestly, lucanis was not entirely sure he wanted it to go. ]
I was worried, when the dust settled here. That the worst had happened to you.
[ he said finally, resting his hands on the bed, palms pressed to the smooth comforter simply begging to be curled up in. neve does have a point; the bed sounds far more appealing than the bath, at the moment. lucanis considers adding that rook was worried sick, but he chooses not to; rook earning neve's forgiveness was something he needed to do on his own.
he hesitates for a beat, but he had said he would talk about it when they got to the room. but she was tired, and it didn't seem fair to suddenly dump all of his confused, tangled emotions on her lap right after she lost her entire city. so he settles on a simple truth: ]
You mean a great deal to me.
no subject
[ but, she lets it go after that, seeing his expression sober up. following his eyeline, she catches sight of Spite loitering near one of the large windows, where its curiously peering down towards the streets and canals. knowing Spite was not likely to cause much trouble at the moment, she turns her attention back to Lucanis, studying his face and waiting for what he was obviously gearing up to say.
it isn't...exactly surprising, when he admits to being worried. honestly, she had been worried, too. Minrathous had not been in a good way, during the dragon attack. and in the aftermath, she hadn't been sure she'd make it.
but, he goes on, after a moment of hesitation, and while she is tired, something in her is awoken, paying a great deal of attention to his words. Lucanis, she has observed, is not one to say things he doesn't mean. nor is he someone who is very open with his emotions, generally. so, the vulnerability in the moment is stark.
and yet, not unwelcome.
her heart squeezes in her chest, an ugly fear welling up right on the heels–an old story she's told herself–that she isn't worth it. that she only brings bad luck and hurt and pain. a string of losses behind her that feel endless. Neve swallows the words that want to spill forth, tentatively taking one of his hands in hers. ]
I don't really know what to say. But, I do know, despite everything, you've made me feel...listened to. Seen. Cared for. That–you mean more than I can express.
no subject
he can't help but frown, though, at her response. not because it isn't wanted -- no, the news that neve shares his amorphous feelings of caring causes his heart to skip several beats, but the notion that being listened to, seen, or cared for was something of a unique experience for neve.
he lets neve hold his hand, allowing her to set the pace. a million things run through his head to say, all of them embarrassing or incredibly stupid.
instead, he says: ]
Despite everything? [ he doesn't need an explanation, really. they were both suspicious of one another, in the beginning. but lucanis has never been one to unnecessarily assume or carry a grudge, especially with someone who had risked their life to protect his, sight unseen. he squeezes her fingers a little, turning slightly to catch her gaze, eyes imploring. ] Neve, anyone who does not see you must be blind.
[ she is smart, cunning, beautiful, and dangerous - how anyone could avoid getting to know her for... whatever reason is beyond his comprehension. he had been struck the moment he saw her. and, honestly, how she hadn't immediately attempted to kill him once correctly spotting the demon lurking by lucanis' shoulder. even now, neve sees spite and doesn't skip a beat, accepting its presence without judgment or pause. ]
Besides -- [ and he reaches up with his spare hand to brush a loose piece of hair out of her eyes, tone wry. ] You are not the one with a demon grafted to your soul.
[ she, clearly, is the catch in this situation. ]
no subject
though, clearly, both of them were feeling similar. it was too early to call love and to chalk it up to simple attraction felt inaccurate. there were softer feelings here, being cradled tenderly in the space between them. wrought by them working side by side, spending the small hours drinking coffee. or the times in the middle of battle, falling into a rhythm that had felt so natural. ]
I'm Tevinter, Lucanis, and not an altus or laetan and I cause enough trouble with my investigations to annoy all three mage classes.
[ she's made inroads with the slaves and soporati because she's typically helping them. but, that took time and plenty of effort. vints did not trust easily, not with their entire culture full of backstabbing and blood magic. ]
You didn't ask for a demon to get magically attached to your soul. [ Neve shrugs, as if that answers everything. ] Spite's pretty tame, as demons go.
no subject
and now, there was no first talon. something lucanis knows he has to deal with, eventually. but the contract took precedence. the last thing caterina wanted him to do took precedence. and truthfully, he was not suited to the job. not like this, a half-demon entity who had allowed his house crumble before him. maybe viago would want to take up the mantle.
all irrelevant, given the woman in front of him, who is shrugging off the fact that he is some twisted half-demonic entity. the compliment does not escape spite's notice, a delighted croon from the corner, which lucanis steadily ignores. he and the demon were on the same page, now, but that didn't mean lucanis had to pay mind to spite's intrusions. ]
Aggravating the Imperium seems to put you in good company. [ amused, squeezing her fingers gently. he wants to lean forward, he realizes, and kiss her. slide his fingers into her hair and pull her closer. it's a horrible idea. whatever this was. neve deserved better than whatever lucanis could provide her, but he didn't move. he also didn't lean forward. ] But all the same.
[ and he covers her hand with his, patting it gently before gingerly letting go. reluctantly. entertaining this was foolish; letting himself get attached is beyond foolish. besides, he had brought her here to rest, not... whatever was lingering in his mind.
coward. a hiss in the back of his mind as spite lingers next to lucanis, turning its piercing gaze onto neve for a long moment, a deep frown setting into place on the demon's stolen visage. lucanis doesn't necessarily disagree. ]
You need sleep. [ gently, as he gets ready to get back up. ] I can check to see if there are any pajamas in the drawers; Teia often pre-packs this particular suite with different luxuries.
[ which. typical. ]
You should be comfortable.