timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ The pull of drowsiness gets stronger as he lets himself get comfortable and drift. She seems to be doing the same thing—drowsing, that is—her weight becoming relaxed against him. After silence has blanketed the room, she breaks it, softly questioning. ]

Go on.

[ From her assurance, he thinks he might know where this is going. ]

[ even with the permission, inej hesitates, trying to figure out how to broach the subject without ruining the peacefulness of the moment. but avoiding it will only allow it to exist, underneath his skin, hanging over him . . . and the only way to draw poison from a wound is to bleed it out.

so: ]

What is different? Between this, and earlier.

[ she purposefully doesn't explicitly ask why do you avoid touching people, because inej feels that's a bit much. but the door is open, if he wants to give her more information. ]

You're not tense, now.

[ He's mentally braced for the question, which means he's ready for the mental lick of the harbor. For that strange phantom feeling of water rising around his neck. His hand moves from her arm to her waist, the amount of warmth under his palm changing, reassuring that he's on land and that they're both fine. ]

It's not all skin, right now. [ Her legs are draped across his lap but the fabric of his pants blocks the feel of skin. And something about her weight being leaned against him is helpful, body heat radiating between the two of them. The harbor had been cold and dead bodies don't retain their warmth for long. ]

[ she's quiet, paying attention to how he moves. shifts his hands, and his weight. but he still seems to be fine, and present in the moment. and when he says it, inej isn't necessarily surprised. but it does help narrow down what he struggles with.

it's not all touch, but specifically the feeling of skin. which, again, makes sense. given he doesn't leave his room without a set of gloves, or several layers of clothing. which is partially due to the image that kaz has built himself, but it has a practical purpose too.

what on earth did pekka rollins do to him. ]

Okay.

[ it's said easily, her eyes still closed, her head still resting against his chest. she doesn't pry for more information, leaving the decision of whether to offer more detail in his hands. the information she got is enough, for now.

but as she thinks about that, something else pops into her head. ]

You will tell me when it's too much.

[ it's not a question, but a pointed suggestion (or, really, an order).

the very last thing she wants to do is erase any progress they might have made by pushing too much. ]

[ The rest of it is there, behind his teeth. There's a pull to say something, to finally let the truth spill out.

But as she re-settles and he closes his eyes again, the words don't come. He doesn't even know where to start—would it be better to simply tell her what happened with the plague? Or just the aftermath of the harbor? Or should he start from the beginning, with Jacob Hertzoon, with Pekka Rollins pretending to care about two young boys lost in a new city?

There's before that, too. His father dying, a farm in Lij, a different last name. Kaz stays silent, leaving it all for a time when they haven't already had an emotional day. He doesn't want to break the relative peace right now either, not when he can comfortably have Inej pressed so close. ]

Don't worry, I'll tell you. [ Not only when it's too much but the rest as well. The whole thing, from top to bottom. ]

[ he isn't ready, which is fine. and inej can feel himself relaxing back into the pillows. surrendering to the evening, rather than continuing the story.

there will be a time and a place, for the truth. but it isn't tonight. ]

Go to sleep.

[ a quiet murmur, before she catches one of his hands in her own, to hold it as she makes herself comfortable to go to sleep herself. ]

We have a bookstore to find in the morning.

Edited 2020-06-26 15:33 (UTC)

[ She doesn't push and he's grateful. Because while he's been on the verge of saying something for a while, he needs to sort out what he'll say. Where to begin.

For now, he allows himself to fall asleep with her hand in his.

Sleep rushes in quickly, as it usually does next to her, leaving him to simply hum an agreement. The next thing he's aware of is the brightness of the room, sun light filtering through the curtains. He'd pulled them closed the night before, noting their room was on the east side of the building—which meant direct morning light. And as much as he's found himself able to sleep through most inconveniences, he isn't sure the same could be said for Inej.

She did want to sleep in, after all. He glances over at the nearby clock, noting how close it was to 8 bells. Of course, he doesn't make a move, both being too comfortable and not wanting to wake Inej just yet. ]

[ it's not the light that causes a stir, but the (slight) movement of kaz coming back to awareness. her legs are still lazily draped over his lap, her head tucked into his chest. it looks uncomfortable, honestly, to be laying down like that, if it weren't for the fact that inej truly can just bend like that without feeling stiff.

her eyes flutters open, just enough to see that kaz is awake.

she considers him for a moment, eyes half open, still mostly asleep, before she closes her eyes again with a sigh, in an attempt to go back to sleep.

it will fail, but she isn't moving.

tough luck for him. ]

[ Not too long after he wakes, he feels her stir. It's a small motion, a subtle change in the slow, deep breaths she'd been taking while asleep.

She doesn't move though and he can't blame her. The quiet sigh makes him laugh a little, as though she's echoing how they both feel about having woken up at all. He personally would've preferred another half hour at least. ]

Comfortable? [ His tone is rough on the edges, sleepy sounding. ]

[ she is comfortable, which is part of the problem. she can feel the laugh in his chest, along with the rasp of his voice . . . and inej idly considers just ignoring him so she can go back to sleep, but some part of her realizes she's still sort of on top of him.

his leg must be killing him. or if it isn't now, it probably will start soon.

hrmm. . . ]

I was.

[ somewhat reproachful, though it's clear that her tone is a joke. SOMEONE decided to BREATHE LOUDLY and WAKE HER UP, how rude. but she stretches out her legs, shifting her weight a little so she's not resting totally on top of him, now.

though she still hasn't moved away from him, or opened her eyes, or made any real attempt to get up, yet. ]

[ She's contemplating on whether to move or not and he can feel it in the silence. For now, he doesn't mind it either way, though he knows soon enough his leg will complain and he'll have to move. Unless he wants to end up in bed for a longer portion of the day, trying to stretch it out and give it some rest.

Her sassy comment makes him smile and after she rolls off, he takes the opportunity to stretch, shaking out his one hand to get feeling back into it. He bends his bad leg and carefully flexes it under the covers, feeling only the usual twinge from disuse. Turning towards her, he presses his cheek to her hair, imitating her sigh from earlier.

He won't be able to get back to sleep, but at least he can cuddle before he has a full day of being more reserved. ]

[ once kaz shifts to make himself more comfortable, inej considers getting up properly. . . until he turns toward her to make himself comfortable again, his face buried into her hair.

it seems he's made his choice this morning, and inej fights down a warm smile before shifting, moving backwards just enough to gently press her lips against his cheek, resting against the pillow to watch him thoughtfully. now awake (ish), comfortable and warm. ]

Did you sleep well?

[ He's just about settled when she shifts away a tiny bit, to press a kiss to his cheek. Well, they're both awake now—mostly, anyway—but seemingly in the same place of being unwilling to move.

Which. Is not a bad thing by any means. Neither of them are the type to lay about, usually, unable to afford such luxury when they're in charge of running their respective businesses. So while part of him thinks he should get up and start the day, he actively stops himself, a reminder to relax. ]

I seem to sleep like a stone with you. [ How that works out, exactly, he isn't sure. ] Did you?

[ her lips twitch into an amused smile, at the news that he slept well. and she, too, sleeps easier when he's around. which is the opposite of what inej thought would happen, but it's a welcome surprise.

her fingers gently brush a loose lock of hair out of his eyes, thoughtful. ]

I did.

[ in agreement. ]

I had peaceful dreams.

[ Really, he didn't think he'd sleep so well with someone so close by. It's such a far cry to how he'd been when he first joined the Dregs; he'd shared a cramped room with someone and that had almost been too much, having anyone in such close proximity.

At least it's a reminder that he's getting better, over time. Like now, as she brushes some hair out of his eyes—he doesn't flinch or feel the need to pull away. ]

What kind? If you remember. [ Kaz finds he rarely remembers his. Normally he doesn't want to, still plagued by nightmares of cold and deadened limbs. Occasionally, he has a good one.

And maybe lately, he's had a few that have been more than good. He doesn't remember details but knows they involve Inej and are enough to make most people blush, including himself. ]

Mmm...

[ she hums to herself in thought, her hand cupping his cheek. she truthfully doesn’t remember most of the details, but she remembers feeling warm, safe. happy. and she does remember, vaguely: ]

I remember it was warm outside. And you kissed me.

[ she wrinkles her nose in thought. ]

I don’t really remember why or what we were doing outside, but I remember that part.

[ it was a good dream. ]

[ As usual, he tilts his face into her touch, glad when he doesn't have an adverse reaction. Her hand on his cheek is something he's gotten used to, mostly. He doesn't even feel that twinge of nausea he did when she first started doing it. ]

Sounds more like a premonition. [ He says with a bit of a grin, momentarily glancing towards the windows. The sun's out, it could be fairly warm. And it wouldn't be a hardship to kiss her outside. ]

[ she grins a little, at the comment, running her thumb over his cheek, eyes bright. ]

Does it?

[ how arrogant, as she settles into her pillow a bit more completely, amused. ]

Should I add being psychic to my skillset?

[ she never had the hang of fortune telling or reading futures in coffee grounds, but you know what, why not. anything is possible. ]

If it's not, I'll take it under immediate advisement.

[ You know, when they're actually out of bed. Not that he means for that to be the only kiss of the day. It's just one in a small list. ]

Don't see why you can't. You saw just about everything in Ketterdam, what's a glimpse of the future?

I do know how to read fortunes.

[ she muses to herself, letting her hand slip from his face to fiddle with the neck of his shirt. ]

But I gave that up to learn how to be an acrobat.

[ it was way more fun. and clearly more useful, in her new life. still, she shifts herself forward to kiss him gently, settling herself back into the pillows with a small grin. ]

Maybe I can pick it up again.

I don't know— [ He starts, propping himself up on one arm so he can lean in to return her kiss. ] —the suspense is nice too.

[ Not knowing what the future holds is their general state of being. Plenty of times, he's wished to know what happens, how exactly everything unfurls. Doesn't everyone? Especially those in the Barrel, just trying to make it through another day.

This relationship with Inej, though... he doesn't mind not knowing. Nor does he mind, as he's been finding out, giving up the usual iron-clad control he's kept for so long. It's not exactly an easy thing to shed the armor but he wants to do it for her. She's been so patient for long enough. ]

[ she’s considering kissing him again when he beats her to the punch, and inej grins a little into the kiss as she returns it, her hands shifting to cup his face. it’s slow, and gentle. lazy, really, much like their morning is turning out to be.

but once the kiss is finished (or, at least, on a brief pause), she murmurs (practically against his lips): ]

I thought we had plans to sleep in today.

[ as she presses her lips to the corner of his mouth, playful, testing boundaries, tone amused and still half-laced with sleep. ]

[ Time seems to slow for the few moments they spend kissing. There's no rush, after all. They can be as lazy as they want, which reflects in their touches, in her mouth against his. He carefully slides his hand down her side, just for the extra contact. ]

No one said we had to use the time to sleep. [ They are the masters of their own schedule. ] Unless you want to.

[ If she does, he'll turn over. Maybe try to read his book. ]

[ he's sort of hovering over her, propped up on his arm, and inej watches him for a moment. the curve of his mouth, and how his hair falls into his eyes. and she supposes she's always known kaz was handsome, but it's different, now.

because she gets to see this, and no one else does.

and that causes a warm stir in her chest, and a slightly bigger grin as she tugs him closer, for another kiss. ]

I don't want to.

[ murmured.

this seems like a much better use of her time. ]

[ She's watching him for a few beats and he has to wonder what she's thinking. Is she just making sure he's okay? It doesn't seem like she's thinking of the Menagerie—her expression is too calm for that, her gaze too direct.

He supposes it doesn't matter because whatever question he would've asked is immediately forgotten as she grins and tugs him close for another kiss. This one isn't as lazy, though he still isn't in a rush. There's a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and he moves his hand from her side, the backs of his knuckles tracing up the middle of her torso. He shifts his weight, just a bit, to take some of the pressure off his arm.

And to maybe make it less obvious that certain parts have started to react to all of this. ]

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