OPEN POST 2020.

[legalized]

【my ❝CALL ME OUT❞ post】
get my ass in gear.

♛ here is my muselist. ♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their name in the subject line! ♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy! ♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go. meme code.

Comments

[wraithes]

[ how affectionate. some part of inej scolds herself for being so bluntly honest, because it's sure to backfire in some distant future where this is no longer a struggle, but she can't seem to care. it's dizzying, but manageable. enjoyable, even, soaking up the attention.

it's a tenuous balance, but she enjoys it. and that fact alone, is a relief. that she's capable of doing this very normal thing, even after the menagerie.

but all good things eventually have to come to an end.

the feeling of her shirt being tugged upward and fingers against her side causes inej to suddenly grab kaz's hand by the wrist, to prevent him from moving further up. her eyes snap open as she sucks in a breath, her heart suddenly hammering in her chest.

it takes a moment for her to realize that she's in their hotel room. the pillows are soft and ridiculously fluffy underneath her head, and the rumpled quilt is still warm from sleep. and, most importantly, the person hovering over her isn't a stranger, but someone who would never hurt her.

once that sinks in, she can feel herself slowly calming down, but her hand is still curled around kaz's wrist, almost uncomfortably tight, as she draws in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

frustrated, that her mind got the best of her. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ Her hand circles his wrist in a tight grip and he knows he's pushed too far. Immediately, he leans away, giving her some space. The look on her face is pure panic and he speaks up quietly over the sudden tangle in his throat. ]

Inej, you're safe, we're in Ravka. We're going to a bookstore later and it'll probably have someone running it that's older than dirt.

[ He's not usually one to chatter but it looks like she needs it. And she's done it for him before—it's always helped, the sound of her voice leaking through and bringing him back to reality. Maybe this will do the same. ]

[wraithes]

[ it seems to work, as inej forces herself to focus. she is fine, and in ravka. with kaz. who would never hurt her, or force her to do anything she didn't want to do. and though inej is far and beyond capable of taking care of herself, kaz has always been her protector. of more than just her body, if she were honest.

the tension seems to bleed out of her, as she listens to his voice, and inej slowly uncurls her fingers from his wrist, releasing him as she draws in another breath, letting it out slowly as she pushes herself up onto her hands, her hair falling back over her shoulders, closing her eyes to focus.

later today, inej will feel satisfied with herself for trying. but now, all she feels is the tinges of frustration and embarrassment. being afraid doesn't really become her, and she's loathe for anyone to see her like that. particularly him.

but, after a moment or two, inej seems to recall what kaz said, and she murmurs, in something of an exasperated tone: ]

You shouldn't call people older than dirt.

[ she'll be fine. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ The tension bleeds out in increments. She takes a slow breath and her grip on his wrist loosens; he pulls that hand away, sets it in his lap to keep giving her space. Eventually, she sits up and he shifts back a little, taking some pressure off his knees.

And not being directly between her legs anymore. Probably not a good idea to be there while she worked through the bad memories. Right now she seems to have recovered somewhat, but he doesn't want to set her off again. Knows how fragile a thing that can be, how something can spiral so easily despite knowing better. ]

Why not? That's how they look. [ No manners, none at all. ]

[wraithes]

[ she pulls her legs closer, crossing them underneath herself as she lets the last vestiges of the memories melt away. it's hard going, but it's getting there. she feels more like herself with each passing minute.

kaz being annoyingly obtuse helps, and inej huffs a laugh to herself as she dips her head, holding it in her hands, gently rubbing her temples as her eyes remain closed. ]

That's no excuse.

[ so rude. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ She's seeming more like herself, the smile and laugh she gives isn't as tight at the corners. It still isn't as carefree as he usually knows it to be, though he also knows returning to normal can take a bit of time.

Especially after being so shaken. ]

Don't care. If I end up at that age, I'd want someone to say I was as old as the dirt.

[ Mostly because he sort of doubts he'll get close. His business doesn't typically see a long life span. ]

[wraithes]

You will.

[ absently, a reassurance, as she focuses on the sound of his voice. she feels tired, but not so tired to remind him that he'll remain alive long enough to be whatever angry old man he wants, because inej will always be in the shadows making sure he stays that way.

more importantly: ]

And I will kick you out of bed if you ever call me old as the dirt.

[ as she pushes back her hair, blinking her eyes open to look at him, a little . . . not apologetic, necessarily. but seeking out his expression, to make sure he isn't upset (not at her, but himself).

and, after a moment, she scoots herself forward just enough to rest her forehead against his chest, leaning against him to seek comfort. maybe silently asking for a hug. and to also prove to herself that she is fine. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ He doesn't necessarily agree with her but he hums in agreement anyway, just because it's not really a time to argue a dumb point. ]

I wouldn't. [ That at least is true. A small part of him wants to imagine what it would be, to see her grow old. And maybe that sparks another part of him that wants to be there when it happens. ]

Sorry. [ He says, as he takes the hint and wraps his arms around her. His chin sets on top of her head, liking the bit of closeness. ]

[wraithes]

[ inej half believes him, on the first part, because she can see him goading her just for argument's sake, but she lets it go in lieu of being hugged. and she closes her eyes, relishing the feeling of warmth and the feeling of his chin resting on top of her head.

there's no memory, or fear, or panic. just warmth. ]

You didn't do anything wrong.

[ after a moment, exhaling slowly. ]

So there is nothing to apologize for.

[ketterdamn]

Pushed too much.

[ He should've known not to tug her shirt up. She's set the pace on what parts of her clothes she's lifted. Like yesterday, when she'd come out in shorts instead of longer pants. It's like when he braces himself for a touch he knows is coming– having some semblance of control must help.

At that, he holds her a little tighter, thinking not for the first time that he wished he'd gotten her out of the Menagerie sooner. That he would've somehow known.

Chances are he might not have done anything, but it's still a regret. ]

[wraithes]

[ he holds her tighter, and inej is quiet, though she lifts her own arms to loop around his waist. the words bother her, and inej has an irrational urge to tell him not to pity her, even though she knows that's not what this is.

so she lets herself calm down in the embrace, eyes still closed as she breathes. her heartrate slows, and soon, inej is all-but relaxed entirely against kaz, breathing slowly. ]

You're going to have to accept that I'm right without argument, one day.

[ finally, her voice slightly muffled, as she was speaking into his shirt. she had said he didn't do anything wrong. ]

You didn't do anything that I didn't want to happen.

[ she had been enjoying herself right until that moment. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ She loops her arms around his middle and he relaxes some more, tension leaking out of his limbs. It seems like she does the same thing, her breathing coming in slower, calmer.

Relatively back to normal. ]

Maybe. [ His tone is amused though, even if he knows she's right. Hadn't he told her as much recently? That she was usually right? ]

It wasn't so bad. [ You know, before she locked up. He's glad she's got her face tucked towards his chest because he can feel a little flush work its way onto his cheeks. ]

[wraithes]

[ it’s really in kaz shifting the conversation from what he thinks he did wrong to being his usual infuriating self that causes the last vestiges of panic to leave her. and a soft laugh escapes at it wasn’t so bad. ]

It was nice.

[ she murmurs before drawing in a deep breath and gently pulling away just enough to unloop her arms, rubbing her face quickly. she hadn’t felt tears or the urge to cry, but just in case, she instinctively runs her hands over her face before dropping them into her lap with a sigh. ]

We’ll just try again another time.

[ until she figures out what parts she needs to heal from and what parts she can continue to bury. the specific memory that had been triggered wasn’t a pleasant one, but now that she knows what sets her off, she can continue to work on what can be avoided versus what can be fixed.

it’s that thought that causes inej to try for a small smile, slightly teasing, in a weak joke: ]

I think I’ll take off the shirt next time.

[ maybe that would help. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ He smiles when she lets out the laugh, feeling like whatever tension he had left finally dissipates. There's no edge to her laughter, it's just happiness, amusement. ]

There'll be more chances. [ Which he knows. Knew. Which both of them had sort of acknowledged, getting into this whole relationship. It's just strange to say aloud, almost like it's creating a permanence.

That doesn't scare him as much as it had before, when he'd been rejecting the idea that he might see Inej as more than her persona of the Wraith. ]

Mine or yours? [ He teases back, raising an eyebrow. ]

[wraithes]

[ indeed, it does feel permanent, and that brings a proper smile to her features. she isn’t really sure what to call this relationship... “boyfriend” seems so ridiculously juvenile and simplistic for how much he means to her. but whatever it is, it’s a fixture in her life. even with the difficulties, and the slow path.

his question, though, prompts some measure of thought before she reaches out to fiddle with his shirt. ]

I might be too short to take off your shirt unless we’re already in bed.

[ it’s a logistical problem. ]

So I may just have to remove my own, for now.

[ketterdamn]

[ Her fingers fiddle with his shirt and he carefully curls his hand around hers. A touch that's been deemed relatively safe before and will hopefully be alright now. ]

If you wanted, I could take it off for you. [ And that makes him blush a little. He's stripped off in front of her before, to get changed for bed. But doing it in a less temporary context is... well, it's a lot.

There's also the immediate image her words paint and he has to stop himself from imagining anything too hard. He's never been one to stare at her chest but it's not like he hasn't noticed the shape. ]

[wraithes]

[ she grins a little, at the offer, and squeezes his fingers. the blushing is cute—mostly because Kaz being nervous or shy is funny in comparison to how everyone else in the known universe sees him. and inej leans forward to gently kiss his cheek, amused. ]

Maybe another day. I want to take a hot shower.

[ though she’s going to hold him to that. ]

Can we get breakfast?

[ketterdamn]

[ He swallows down the blush the tries to spread as she kisses his cheek– he likes the gentle touch but sometimes it's a bit much. Emotionally. There are some parts of him that still isn't used to the softness. It goes against everything he'd taught himself. ]

Sure. Anything you want in particular? [ Otherwise, it might be nice to pick a place as they go. Maybe something on the way to that book shop. ]

[wraithes]

No, we can find something as we go.

[ easily enough, as she scoots herself to the edge of the bed, getting up to get ready to go take a shower. but this time, inej moves to her bag first, to collect her clothes before she goes into the bathroom.

best not test her luck anymore today.

but she offers him a smile, as she straightens, folding her arms over her chest to hold her clothes close. ]

I won't be long.

[ long enough to shower and make sure she has a grip, at any rate. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ They both shower and dress with no complications, playing it safe just in case. This morning had proven to be progress though, something to be glad for. It was to be expected, after all. They weren't going to clear all the hurdles at once, even if they wished they could.

On the way to the bookshop, they find breakfast at a place that makes small quiches and sit outside, watching a different crowd of people go by—it's located closer to the harbor. So it's sailors, merchants, and travelers, all a little more rowdy than the blini place. Still, the coffee is good, breakfast is delicious, and it's amusing to pick out the occasional word or two from the foul mouthed sailors. Living near the harbor has taught him at least a handful of Ravkan swear words.

Fine additions to any vocabulary.

The rest of the walk to the shop is pleasant, as is the shop itself. There's only one flaw: the keeper isn't an old man or woman who has started to smell like the books. Instead, it's a young man with bright green eyes and sandy blonde hair. He greets them both with enthusiasm, though he seems to be a bit shy with Inej, his greeting somewhat muted.

It's not until he's picking up a book on Kerch ship building that it falls into place; the small glanced over, the attempts to start a conversation. Annoyed, he presses his mouth in a thin line, glancing first to be sure they're out of earshot and then over to Inej. ]

He's flirting with you. [ And as much as he might try not to, he definitely sounds aggravated. ]

[wraithes]

[ inej's spirits lift almost instantly, as they move into the port and make their way to the bookshop. breakfast was full of laughter, mostly at kaz asking specific questions about what people are saying, and inej steadfastly refusing to translate certain words into kerch for him.

that alone had been enough confirmation that they were curses, and kaz added them to his vocabulary almost immediately, despite her best efforts to not encourage him.

her spirits lifted even further when they entered the bookshop and were greeted by someone who was assuredly not old as dirt. he was sweet, and kind, and inej had seen immediately that he found her pretty. it was only confirmed in the communications in ravkan, subtle asks about what plans she had for the evening.

truthfully, inej didn't think much of it. but when she wanders back over to kaz, and he says that, she arches her eyebrows before glancing toward the shopkeep, who offers a slight little wave.

inej returns the little wave with a polite smile before turning back to kaz, looking suitably unimpressed with (1) the observation and (2) his aggravation, her tone dry as she shifts to speaking in kerch, her voice low enough so that the shopkeep can't hear (not that he could understand them even if he did). ]

Hadn't noticed.

[ what would she do without kaz's unparalleled intellect and insight. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ Of course she'd noticed. She's the wraith—not much gets past her to begin with. And certainly not something that seems even obvious to a person who doesn't speak the same language. This does have him frowning a bit more. Frowning, not pouting.

Definitely not pouting. ]

Are you encouraging him? [ If he sounds scandalized, it's because he is.

Not that Inej doesn't deserve to be told she's beautiful and radiant by every person in existence. Just. It rankles coming from this pretty boy. ]

[wraithes]

[ oh, the frown is deepning, and inej's expression is edging into incredulity, her arms crossing loosely over her chest as she looks up at him, eyebrows arching further upward.

some part of her should probably be annoyed. inej can have anyone flirt with her as she pleases, thank you very much. but the overwhelming feeling that seems to have taken hold is hilarity, because it very much appears that kaz brekker is jealous of some nameless ravkan boy in a bookshop who asked inej for dinner.

she supposes she could tell kaz all of that, but instead: ]

We're getting married next week.

[ blithely. ]

Did you not get the invitation?

[ketterdamn]

[ She's joking, naturally, though he's failing to see what about this is funny. This Ravkan boy doesn't know her at all, probably hasn't even gotten her name. And here he is, flirting.

There's also the matter of him being in the same room as the shopkeep attempts to make a pass and that just won't stand.

(Because of course he fails to see how they could be mistaken as only friends and not anything else). ]

Don't be ridiculous. [ Says the man being ridiculous. ]

[wraithes]

[ inej has gotten pretty good at telling when kaz is upset, but will get over it, and upset, and determined to stay that way. initially, she had thought it was the former, but as he's clearly still sour after her obvious joke, she's beginning to fear it's the latter.

so she opens her mouth, but pauses, scanning kaz's features once more. saints, he's actually upset by this. and for a tenuous moment, it almost looks like inej is going to hum in agreement and understand his frustration and irritation

. . . but no, he's still being a moron regardless of whether he's upset or not. ]

Because if you did lose the invitation, I could have another one sent.

[ mildly, as she takes the book on kerch ship building that kaz had picked up, to add it to the pile that they're surely going to buy. ]

It may not make it in time, though, so I guess you're just going to have to ride with me to the ceremony.