timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ and inej immediately lifts her arms to loosely hug his head, running her fingers through his hair with a hum, amused. he’s truly making a mountain out of a molehill, and will probably be insufferable as a result.

her lot in life, she supposed. ]

We will.

[ inej won’t let her parents wander ketterdam alone, especially now that the slavers are furious with her. ]

They will be thrilled to be here, safe and taken care of.

[ and she kisses the top of his head, amused. ]

So, there is no need to worry.

[ His hair is now...well, not hopelessly mussed but he'll need to tame it back into some order. Eventually. Or maybe he'll just leave it– he knows Inej prefers it when he isn't so severe with it.

And maybe that'll give him a less sharp looking expression, which is probably part of the reason her mother distrusts him. Not that he can blame her, he's cultivated a moderately threatening aura even while passive.

(But then, he does recall Jordie saying he looked like he was mad all the time, when they were younger. So he's just always been this way). ]

I'm going to worry anyway, if it's all the same. [ Kaz doesn't think he could stop himself, no matter how much she reassured him it would be fine. ]

You think they'll like it better this time? [ The first time they'd been to Ketterdam, it'd been full of ups and downs. And the best he'd been able to do is keep them housed in a hotel– the Slat wasn't for folks like them.

This time, they'd have their own space. So, that was an improvement, probably. ]

[ she does like when he looks a little undone. he spends so much time looking perfectly pressed that a relaxed kaz brekker is a rarity. but she can tell that he's not relaxed, continuing to fuss and argue over nothing.

and so she pulls away just enough to duck down, resting on her heels so she could rest her arms on his legs, looking up at him with arched eyebrows. ]

You are overthinking this.

[ definitively. ]

Her issue isn't with you, it is with Ketterdam. And Kerch. And everything that brought me from Ravka to this island. If it were up to her, she would bring me to Ravka and keep me there until I died, but it isn't up to her.

[ and inej shrugs slightly, keeping her arms resting on his legs. ]

She needs to heal. And she will.

[ eventually. ]

[ He isoverthinking this, because when she says mentions what her mother would do if it were up to her, he feels a spike of nervousness. The likelihood of it happening is extremely slim, because he doubts Inej would let herself be bundled off to Ravka to stay with her parents for the rest of her life.

That, at least, feels sure enough that he keeps it firmly in his mind, flexing the fingers that've gripped his cane too tightly. When has Inej listened to anyone but herself? Even when she'd been in the ranks of the Dregs, she hadn't been afraid to speak up or disagree– which had happened quite frequently. ]

Maybe she's gotten better since last time. [ Just like them. Healing, he can understand. Every day has been like that for their pasts, scars sealing over, bruises fading as they worked to wrest control back.

Speaking of, he traces the one on Inej's arm, quirking a small smile. ] You're in for a lot of questions.

[ it has gotten easier, with time. when inej finally told them about the menagerie, her mother had cried for what felt like hours. even her father had cried, which made inej feel worse, honestly. but they’ve slowly begun to accept that inej is fine.

mostly.

she sighs to herself at the tracing of her bruise, frowning to herself. ]

I’ll just have to wear long sleeves.

[ a little ruefully; better to just wear long sleeves than explain anything. ]

I have a dress with long sleeves, that will make her happy.

[ or something. ]

Easier than dealing with questions.

[ However annoying it might be to dress so carefully. The questions would be worse– both of them try to avoid mentioning too much of what their work entails. After all, the less the elder Ghafas knew, the better, on that front. Not that he thinks they'll go around blabbing but– it's hideous work, often. ]

A dress, huh? [ Now you've gotten his attention. Ever since they've been living here, she's worn them a little more than previously, but he can count on one hand the amount of times he's seen her in them. As annoyed as she is to have to wear it to keep her mother happy, he can't deny his own interest.

It shouldn't matter, because he's seen her completely undressed. She looks so cute in a dress though. ]

[ she’s about to agree when he is suddenly focused on the dress, and inej rolls her eyes before pushing herself up onto her feet, running her hand through his hair again. ]

Glad to have you back, Kaz Brekker.

[ dryly.

he’s such a boy. ]

[ Really, he can't explain all the reasons why he likes it when she wears a dress. Aside from the most obvious: he can see her bare legs. Usually. There's also something about the motion of the skirt when she walks; graceful.

Either way, he grins rakishly, setting his hands on her waist as her fingers comb through his hair. It feels good and he's tempted to lie down and have her do this for another hour.

Alas. They have places to be. ]

You look good in dresses. And anything. Or nothing.

[ well, his mood has changed radically. but kaz being an annoyance is way easier to navigate than kaz being nervous, and so inej shifts to take his face in her hands, running her thumbs over his cheekbones before she kisses his forehead gently. ]

Compliments aside.

[ though they are duly noted, thank you very much. ]

We should figure out what we're going to make for breakfast, and cut some flowers for the rooms.

[ just tiny final touches. ]

[ After the kiss to his forehead, he turns his head to press a half kiss to her one palm. His hand comes up to cover the back of hers while he does, mouth curving into a smile. He's still anxious, nerves jangling, but this is reassuring. ]

I can take care of breakfast, you'll be faster with the flowers. [ She is better with knives than he is, after all. ] Do we even have any vases?

Edited (Lol) 2020-07-27 16:48 (UTC)

We have a few.

[ her lips twitch into a faint smile, at the kiss to her palm. and while, yes, they definitely do have places to be, she decides to sit next to him on the bed, shifting to drape her legs over his. half sitting on his lap, though she keeps most of her weight on the bed itself. and she brushes the hair out of his eyes before saying: ]

I mean it, when I say you have nothing to worry about.

[ as she searches his face, tone warm. ]

This is my life, and you are in it, and they will accept it. They already have.

[ Well, shows how much he was paying attention to that particular detail.

He settles his hands on her legs, one cupping her knee and the other gently kneading her calf muscle. It's soothing, both the slight weight of her legs draped across his lap and the familiar motion of massaging the tension out. ]

I couldn't tell you why I second guess it so much. [ Though, he has an idea of why– it's an uncontrollable thing. He can be arrogant about his various schemes and plans because he's gotten very good at figuring out how people will react. It's all about staying one step ahead, on having back up plans for back up plans.

This? He's too close to it. And they're Inej's parents, not some annoying gang leader or meddlesome mercher. They're entitled to their own opinions; he's never wanted to leave such a positive impression on anyone, save for Inej herself. And he can't bring himself to show the bravado he does for the Dregs. It just doesn't feel right.

What it all boils down to is that he isn't even close to normal. Nor is he very good at expressing himself, though he's gotten better with it over time. Sometimes, that makes it particularly difficult to know what to say when they're around. ]

I know you're right, though. [ Even if he's having a hard time swallowing it. ]

[ she listens, remaining still as he rubs her legs, letting him work through whatever he's thinking. and what eventually comes out doesn't surprise her, but there's still things written on his face that he isn't saying.

so she lets the words hang in the air for a moment before she leans forward a little, adjusting the collar of his shirt with her free hand. ]

Someone would have killed me in the Menagerie if you hadn't come back.

[ as she lets her hand drop, her eyes still watching his face. ]

They wouldn't have a daughter to harass and have ridiculous expectations for, without you. And they know that. You have nothing else to do, and no one to impress. You've already done more than enough.

[ but she does smile a little. ]

I am usually right, though, so you should stop worrying.

[ Really, it could've been anyone who sprung her from the Menagerie. In theory.

But in this place, they'd gotten lucky to find each other. Because Ketterdam likes its money and its pleasures and is greedy enough to not want to give up either. Kaz hadn't cared for pleasures and his money was only spent to pay for information. And Inej's silent steps had been worth more than all his time spent talking to the matrons, to people like Heleen.

Now he can't even measure how much she means to him.

One of his hands covers hers, thumb brushing over her knuckles. His other keeps massaging along her leg, up towards her thigh, thumb digging into the tense muscle. ]

I couldn't stop thinking about it, when I left.

[ How she'd managed to sneak up on him, with those little bells around her ankles. But more than that, the seriousness of her face, how dark her eyes had been. How he'd seen fear and a layer of steel underneath. Fractured, but there. ]

I'll be busy trying to keep up with the conversation later. [ He won't have time to worry. ]

[ his fingers digging into her leg feels good, and inej watches the motion for half a moment before leaning forward to rest her forehead against his shoulder, exhaling slowly as she relaxes. ]

The heart is like an arrow, and it demands its aim to be true.

[ it’s quiet, her eyes still watching his fingers move. ]

My father used to tell me that, when I was a little girl. I never understood what it meant, but I do now. Because every decision I’ve made since I was taken was made with my heart.

[ including blindly trusting some boy who couldn’t hide the boredom on his face when talking to heleen. ]

And they understand that. They cherish you more than you know.

[ She leans her forehead against his shoulder and it's tempting to pull her closer, to delay breakfast and cutting flowers and just hold her. He won't, but he wants to. Nothing would get done if he gave in now. ]

Good advice. [ It doesn't surprise him that it comes from her father. He's always struck Kaz as an observant type. What's more: he's glad as long as his daughter is. ]

Well, this week we'll be in close proximity. [ So maybe he'll have a better chance of getting used to them. ]

We will. And you will be fine.

[ warmly, and while she, too, sort of wants to just fall into bed and go back to sleep, she knows they have things to do. so she tugs him closer just an inch or two, so she can give him a soft kiss, before she moves to stand, moving her legs from his lap. ]

Come on, enough procrastinating. Let's get going.

[ He does as proposed— makes breakfast while Inej takes care of trimming flower stems and arranging them in various vases she pulls out of the porcelain cabinet. She trims while sitting on the kitchen counter, which puts them close enough to chat. The conversation is idle, going over an itinerary and trading quips, their usual.

Eventually, breakfast is eaten and the rooms are given the final touch. And then it's time to walk to second harbor, knowing they'll either be getting there just as the ship has arrived or right before. They're lucky that the weather held and sure enough, the ship's just docked, beginning the process of unloading passengers and cargo alike.

Another bit of luck: people recognize the both of them well enough to give them a wide berth, which makes it easy for Asena to spot her daughter once she's given a hand down the walkway from her husband. She gives a delighted cry and soon Inej disappears in the embrace of her parents. He gives them space and forgets to be nervous for a bit, more concerned with getting them back to the house with as little fuss as possible.

It's a slow trek back, a leisurely pace as both her parents have questions about the area, where they're going, how things have been, and whether or not Inej is happy. There's a pause when they get back to the house, a silent sort of surprise. Jardani throws him a look that says he approves. And Asena seems... confused? Suspicious? Shocked? Kaz isn't sure, really. Regardless, he lets Inej lead the tour while he takes their bags upstairs, his thoughts a disorganized jumble.

He rejoins them in the sun room, her parents conferring by the wide windows. ]

Alright?

[ inej endures the pestering questions the entire walk to their home, and answers them mostly with ease. but when they get to the house, her mother's questions shift from her well-being to the house itself. and while kaz takes their bags upstairs, asena begins to pester.

It's beautiful, but why do you live in such a huge house by yourself? which caused her father to roll his eyes to the ceiling, likely asking for a prayer from the saints, and her mother to purse her lips in response. and inej had responded easily, without thinking, that kaz lives here too, he's the one who bought the house in the first place. and that had sparked an immediate lecture.

so kaz walks into the sunroom when her parents are conferring . . . or rather, when jardani is telling asena to stop micromanaging her daughter's happiness, and asena is very evidently not listening. and inej looks long-suffering, at best, before looking over at the door with a rueful expression, reaching out to loop an arm through his. ]

Everything is fine.

[ mildly. ]

I was trying to convince my parents they should rest after their journey, which they should. [ she says, more directed toward her parents, and asena waves her hand dismissively. ] While we make them lunch, but I think it might be a lost cause.

I see.

[ He gets the sense he's missed something. Which he may or may not get the details of. Asena seems agitated by something, presumably by being told she needs to relax and rest. Jardani, as usual, is taking care of whatever damage control needs to be done. ]

Will they be offended if we just do that anyway? [ Meaning Asena. It's hard to say how she'll react. ] They probably should sit for a bit.

[ Sailing is exhausting even for the more able-bodied. Kaz tires more easily aboard a ship, with constantly having to rebalance himself. Neither of Inej's parents have a cane to contend with, but they aren't getting any younger. ]

[ inej makes a noise to herself; it's a noise of agreement, with kaz, because they should rest. but inej can recognize the tilt of asena's chin and the thin pursing of her lips, because inej sees the same expression in the mirror whenever she looks annoyed or determined to get her way.

idly, inej realizes the reason they bicker is because they are too alike. and when inej is upset, she refuses to back down.

it's this realization that she understands arguing with her mother is pointless, and she sighs, before she shifts from speaking kerch to suli. ]

Papa, can you just take her upstairs?

[ and at that, asena opens her mouth to protest, but jardani immediately takes his wife by the arm and guides her out of the room, offering both kaz and inej a warm smile, and responding (in kerch, for kaz's benefit): We will be down within the hour, the house is lovely.

and once her parents (still speaking with each other in suli) move further down the hall, inej rolls her eyes to the ceiling, a prayer running through her mind asking for patience, before she turns to kaz, arching her eyebrows. ]

Lunch?

[ Asena's protest is clearly visible but she's outnumbered by Jardani, who is clearly willing to relax—if Kaz is catching the drift of the conversation right—and Inej, who is done arguing. Kaz responds with a Rest well and watches them go, Asena's spine still straight with stubbornness. ]

May as well. [ He says, turning towards the kitchen. ] You know, the set of her chin reminds me of someone.

[ Like mother, like daughter. Most especially when they're digging their heels in. ]

[ his comment is met with a thin pursing of her lips, which, incidentally, is exactly the same expression asena had on her way out of the room. but she doesn't comment on it, instead shifting the subject, her tone dry: ]

She is upset that we are living together.

[ it's hard to say, really, what inej feels about that. annoyed is probably a safe guess. but as inej follows along with him to the kitchen, she sighs to herself, the sound almost whistling between her teeth. ]

I forgot that we aren't married.

[ not in the sense of literally forgetting that they aren't married, but in the sense that it would bother her mother. which, in retrospect, is pretty stupid, on inej's part. and as she ruminates on that, once they reach the kitchen, she adds, a bit blithely: ]

She will get over it.

[ no one out-stubborns inej ghafa. ]

[ Well, her mother being upset about them living together checks out. Part of him is reassured by what Inej had told him earlier, that he's done plenty and that her mother is just being. Difficult. About it.

But at least that worry makes sense. She doesn't know Kaz very well at all. He's one step removed from a stranger and he's living with her only daughter.

That's a lot easier to swallow than what Inej says next, which catches him by surprise. And subsequently has him blushing up to his ears. He'd forgotten that was a thing that bothered people. The whole being together outside the bounds of marriage. Kerch, for all that its people care more for money, still adheres to some more traditional thoughts. Dowries and arranged marriages aren't too uncommon amongst the merchers.

Coming from the Barrel, he'd never even thought about it. They didn't usually have the time or money to worry about getting properly married, though he's certainly intended to ask Inej. When the time is right. Or maybe just when he gets over his stupid anxiety over it.

He forces down the blush, voice a bit weak when he finally speaks up. ] Is that what she's upset about?

[ she tugs open the door of the ice box, to examine what they have available for lunch . . . but her ears pick up the weakness in his voice, and she glances towards him, arching her eyebrows a little, catching the tinges of pink in his cheeks.

and inej watches him for a moment, trying to figure out what is bothering him, before it suddenly clicks inside her head. ]

What, were you planning on proposing this weekend?

[ a little dryly, as she turns her attention back to the food, tugging out a head of lettuce. ]

Sorry if she ruined the surprise.

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