timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ Asena's protest is clearly visible but she's outnumbered by Jardani, who is clearly willing to relax—if Kaz is catching the drift of the conversation right—and Inej, who is done arguing. Kaz responds with a Rest well and watches them go, Asena's spine still straight with stubbornness. ]

May as well. [ He says, turning towards the kitchen. ] You know, the set of her chin reminds me of someone.

[ Like mother, like daughter. Most especially when they're digging their heels in. ]

[ his comment is met with a thin pursing of her lips, which, incidentally, is exactly the same expression asena had on her way out of the room. but she doesn't comment on it, instead shifting the subject, her tone dry: ]

She is upset that we are living together.

[ it's hard to say, really, what inej feels about that. annoyed is probably a safe guess. but as inej follows along with him to the kitchen, she sighs to herself, the sound almost whistling between her teeth. ]

I forgot that we aren't married.

[ not in the sense of literally forgetting that they aren't married, but in the sense that it would bother her mother. which, in retrospect, is pretty stupid, on inej's part. and as she ruminates on that, once they reach the kitchen, she adds, a bit blithely: ]

She will get over it.

[ no one out-stubborns inej ghafa. ]

[ Well, her mother being upset about them living together checks out. Part of him is reassured by what Inej had told him earlier, that he's done plenty and that her mother is just being. Difficult. About it.

But at least that worry makes sense. She doesn't know Kaz very well at all. He's one step removed from a stranger and he's living with her only daughter.

That's a lot easier to swallow than what Inej says next, which catches him by surprise. And subsequently has him blushing up to his ears. He'd forgotten that was a thing that bothered people. The whole being together outside the bounds of marriage. Kerch, for all that its people care more for money, still adheres to some more traditional thoughts. Dowries and arranged marriages aren't too uncommon amongst the merchers.

Coming from the Barrel, he'd never even thought about it. They didn't usually have the time or money to worry about getting properly married, though he's certainly intended to ask Inej. When the time is right. Or maybe just when he gets over his stupid anxiety over it.

He forces down the blush, voice a bit weak when he finally speaks up. ] Is that what she's upset about?

[ she tugs open the door of the ice box, to examine what they have available for lunch . . . but her ears pick up the weakness in his voice, and she glances towards him, arching her eyebrows a little, catching the tinges of pink in his cheeks.

and inej watches him for a moment, trying to figure out what is bothering him, before it suddenly clicks inside her head. ]

What, were you planning on proposing this weekend?

[ a little dryly, as she turns her attention back to the food, tugging out a head of lettuce. ]

Sorry if she ruined the surprise.

[ All those times he'd wrung his hands and decided against a more impulsive proposal are currently coming back to haunt him. Granted, Inej doesn't seem to care one way or another. And while he had never put much stock in the whole marriage thing, he wants to propose. It just feels...complete, for lack of a better term.

Still, this whole line of thought makes him nervous. Because he does want it to be a genuine surprise. ]

Well, no. [ He pauses, leaning against the counter, a thoughtful look on his face. Which she hopefully won't see right through. ] I hadn't thought about it, honestly.

[ inej ghafa knows kaz brekker. better than anyone else on the planet. she knows when he's lying, and when he's not, and when he's hiding something. and this time, as she sets the items for sandwiches on the kitchen counter, she can tell that his thoughtful expression is bullshit.

what she can't figure out is why. has he thought about it? probably. but inej writes that off as nothing, because kaz does nothing but think. he considers everything and anything as a possibility.

so as she starts to arrange ingredients to put together something to eat for her parents, she looks at him, a little incredulous. ]

You haven't thought about marrying me.

[ she's just fucking with him, but he's the one who started it, so he gets what he gets. ]

[ Ghezen, he shouldn't have said anything. Or maybe the silence would've damned him. There's no real backing out of this conversation without either looking like an insensitive jerk—because why wouldn't he have thought about it, after everything—or completely blowing the surprise.

Maybe, just maybe, he can feign emotionally stupid. The idea of proposing in the middle of the kitchen just because her mother brought it up feels like some kind of guilt trip. ]

Crossed my mind, but didn't get much further than that. [ He shrugs, as if that seals it. ] I was more worried about whether you were going to come back, at the time.

[ it's hard to read, but her expression does soften, at that, and her hands still on the head of lettuce before she decides to abandon it, to move closer and loop her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his chest to look up at him, amused. ]

I was always going to come back.

[ first, and she pushes herself up onto her toes to give him a gentle kiss before adding, in a murmur: ]

And I think I would say yes, if it crosses your mind again.

[ before she presses her lips against his cheek, letting go to return to making lunch, beginning to shred some lettuce, before adding: ]

Probably, anyway. I sort of like living in sin.

[ though it's clear, by her tone, that she's poking fun with the last part. ]

[ He likes when she does this. Or loves it, really, there's something deeply satisfying about how she rests her chin against his chest. It's even better when she presses her cheek there, reminiscent of how they sometimes end up while asleep. ]

Have I at least told you I love you?

[ While he knows this answer, there's still a small smile curving his mouth. He leans over to kiss her temple as she goes back to what she was doing, pulling away just enough to catch her gaze. ]

Your Saints won't feel snubbed and rain down their displeasure?

You might have mentioned it once or twice.

[ wryly, though there's a small smile on her lips as she shifts to unpacking cheese, fishing a knife out of a drawer to slice it. but at kaz's next statement, she rolls her eyes, slicing a piece of cheese. ]

It is silly and unnecessary.

[ honestly!!!! ]

I do not need a piece of paper to give me permission to chase my happiness.

Just once or twice? Sounds like I need to say it more.

[ It's getting easier to say. At the start, it hadn't been quite so simple. There'd been the vulnerability part, which he'd been a lot worse at. And there'd been trying to sort through his feelings to even come to that conclusion. Which sounds stupid, because who doesn't realize they're in love with someone?

(It was him, he was and still continues to be stupid, but at least she knows he loves her now). ]

No interest in ceremony or tradition, huh? [ This is a dangerous line of questioning. He diverts it, sort of: ] You realize Nina would be devastated to hear this.

[ she tosses him a look, slicing more pieces of cheese. for someone who hadn’t thought about it, he sure was thinking about it...

besides, it wasn’t as if inej hasn’t talked about this with Nina, who frequently asks if Kaz has done anything in terms of marriage. And, every time, inej responds: ]

I would rather be married in my bedroom with a signed certificate than have a lot of people staring at me.

[ and she begins to build sandwiches, before she begins slicing tomatoes. ]

But my mother prefers the ceremony and tradition.

[ obviously, given asena’s huff. ]

Edited 2020-07-30 00:35 (UTC)

Sensible.

[ And so very much her. She's the Wraith, after all, she's made her whole life about not being seen. Only showing herself when she wanted to. Though he can't say he disagrees with it, because the idea of having a big ceremony makes him feel low key paranoid.

Talking about this makes him wonder: would it have been better or worse if his parents were around? His father had seemed like someone with his head firmly attached. What little touches his mother had left behind were equally down to earth. There's a familiar pang of loss—he wishes he would've taken something from the house, if couldn't have his parents alive. Maybe he could've kept a reminder.

But he'd been too young to think about it. And with no will, all of it had defaulted to sale to make sure him and Jordie had something to get them on their feet.

He's at least pretty sure his brother would've liked Inej.

Sighing, he puts it out of his mind. Because now he has family, or something like it. Jardani is trying his best, after all. ]

How long do you think it'll take for her to come around on us living in sin?

[ she can tell his mind has wandered to something else, and inej looks up at the sigh, her brow furrowing a little in concern — but her expression soon shifts as inej laughs quietly, shaking her head as she slices another tomato. ]

I think she will be okay.

[ as inej turns to undoing the package of roast turkey, selecting a different knife. ]

She does like the house, though. She loves the garden, and the master bedroom with the natural light. Sinful and all.

[ the entire thing is so ridiculous. ]

So I think she will come around sooner rather than later.

Your dad seemed to be tempering some of the shock, at least.

[ They've been married a long time, he knows his wife and what it takes to pull her away from an edge. Or from digging her heels in too deeply. Kaz had liked him almost instantly, probably tempered by the same calmness that kept Asena on ground level.

He has to wonder if people look at him and Inej and think the same way. Because so often, even while she was an official member of the Dregs, they could hold a conversation without saying a thing.

It's only gotten better (or worse) with time. And it makes him happy to think about. They've come a long way. ]

He thinks the house is perfect. I think he is already planning which room is going to be his and where he can keep his things.

[ amused, as she finishes assembling her sandwiches, stacking the little sandwiches on a nearby plate. but most importantly: ]

He likes you a lot.

[ jardani had made it a special point to tell inej that, likely to mollify her from her mother's indignation at her new living situation, but. you know. whatever. inej will take her victories where she can get them. ]

He's welcome to. They both are—it's not like we have a space problem.

[ As much as the idea of Asena being around so much makes him nervous. But maybe she'll come around during the visit. It's as Inej said: she probably just needs to get used to him. ]

I like him, he strikes me as very sensible. [ And laid back, to a point. Kaz typically does better with people who have similar personality traits, if only because he has a very intense way about him. The times he got along with Jes best were when his friend wasn't just laughing something off. When he brought some levity to a situation or an idea. ]

I get the feeling he's helped do a lot of convincing your mother I'm not just going to take off in the middle of the night.

[ her lips twitch into a faint smile, at that, as she drapes a tea towel over the stack of sandwiches, shifting her attention to finding fruit to go with it. boat living sort of restricts your ability to have fresh food, and while her parents hadn't spent the months and months on board like she had, they had been on the boat long enough to probably need some freshness in their diet. ]

I think now she is coping with the reality that you aren't going anywhere.

[ as she tosses him a slight grin, reaching up on her toes to grab at some apples in a hanging basket near the window of the sink. ]

Though she is going to interrogate you about marriage, so start weaving your clever excuse and tale now, while she's sleeping.

[ allegedly sleeping, anyway. inej is positive asena is not doing at all what she is supposed to be doing. like mother, like daughter. ]

Edited 2020-07-31 15:00 (UTC)

Let me guess, she was hoping I'd be long gone? No longer be a bad influence on her only child?

[ As if he could've gone anywhere. He had known Inej was important to him even when he considered her solely as the Wraith. And that had just shifted. Grown even more as time went by. She's stuck with him until one of them leaves the mortal coil.

Which he's hoping is a long way off. He doesn't want to think about losing her, the fear of it nearly paralyzing. ]

How much will she hit the roof if I'm honest and tell her I hadn't thought about it?

[ He grins, already having a good idea of what that would look like. ]

You are a bad influence.

[ a bit pointedly, as she begins to cut apples into slices, setting some aside on a different plate so kaz could have some at his leisure. (they're his favorite, after all.) and after she nudges that plate toward him, she resumes her chopping.

his grin is annoying, mostly because kaz knows exactly what would happen if he did such a thing, and so inej's tone is a little dry, in response. ]

And if I were you, I would come up with a better story than your own incompetence.

[ because that is exactly what that plan is, thank you. ]

She already thinks you're a delinquent.

[ and, you know, asena isn't wrong, in that regard. because kaz brekker is definitely a delinquent. ]

How bad?

[ Not that he's looking to change, really. He doubts he'll ever be a wholly good influence. It's just not in his nature at this point. There are some things he's unlearned from the Barrel but others that are ingrained in his bones.

Before he picks a slice of apple up, though, he interrupts her before she can take her hand away, pressing a grateful kiss to her fingers and then letting them go. He takes a slice and chews thoughtfully, thinking over a few options. ]

I'll think of something. Not sure how convincing it'll be for your mother—I don't know if she'll buy anything other than me proposing on the spot.

[ Which, while he has a ring, he doesn't want to do. It wouldn't feel genuine, for one. And two, he's pretty sure Inej would be mortified. No audience, that they can agree on. ]

Aren't we both?

[ the kiss to her fingers sparks a brightness in her eyes, and she gives him a fond expression before returning her focus to the apples. ]

I am a delinquent because of you, so being a bad influence goes without saying.

[ which is partially true, and inej doesn't say it in a tone as if it's a bad thing. seizing control of her own power, her own ability, and her own narrative had been just as freeing as finally shredding her debt contract. being the ghost of ketterdam has afforded her opportunities she never thought possible. and she wouldn't trade it for the world.

she does, though, make a face at the concept of being proposed to on the spot. the idea of a proposal at all feels like a fun little joke, between them, because inej genuinely doesn't think it's going to happen. ]

If you propose to me in front of a group of people, I'll say no, and leave you to deal with the aftermath.

[ as she finishes chopping another apple. ]

My mother will survive without seeing it.

A delinquent with very sharp knives.

[ He says it with the same kind of fondness. A sense of pride, too. While he'd given her the tools to change her life around, she's the one that had put the work in. Within the first year with the Dregs, she'd already been handier with a knife than him. And she'd worked hard to establish her reputation as the Wraith. As a shadow that no one would hear or see coming.

While he fusses over her coming along on trips with the Dregs, he knows she can hold her own. She usually has, excepting a few circumstances that had taken years off his life. ]

Well, can't have that. [ Wouldn't that be horrifying for them both? He'll save them the trouble.

One thing he's getting from this, though, despite her thinking it was likely to never happen, is where a good spot would be. Once her parents were gone and some time elapsed. So it didn't look like her mother put the idea in his head.

Maybe the docks at the end of Fifth harbor. They were usually quiet, with no one having reason to be around unless a ship pulled in. He chews on another apple slice in silence, the gears clearly turning.

There's another question he wants to ask, more because he's wondering if it's something they'll have to head Asena off on. But it's...strangely nerve wracking. ]

[ she rolls her eyes a little at the delinquent with knives, continuing to chop the apples to pile them into a little bowl. and once she's done and the knife is deposited into the sink, her gaze shifts to kaz, who is clearly thinking of . . . something. his mind elsewhere, not focused on the present.

so, while she pulls down some more plates and glasses for water, she asks: ]

What are you thinking about?

[ curious, as she stacks the plates to prepare to take them to the dining table. ]

[ Naturally, she knows something is on his mind. Just as he can always tell when she's working her way up to a question. Or to something important. It's the smallest shift of her brows, the relaxed curve of them going flat.

He's not sure what his face looks like, but whatever it is, she recognizes the expression. Part of him thinks he could bring this up later, but that just means he might put it off. So. Here goes nothing. ]

Do you think she'll— [ Kaz starts, mentally searching for better phrasing. The rest comes out weaker, as if he's at a loss. ] —ask about kids?

[ That's a thing, isn't it? That people usually aim for. He barely knows how he feels about it, let alone what Inej does. Aside from neither of them being ready for that kind of commitment.

If Asena's going to start asking for grandchildren, he doesn't want to be caught flat-footed. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject