timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ Having been in the middle of everything, he looks much worse for wear. Everything near his middle aches, as does his shoulder where someone had seen fit to slam into him from the side. His leg is complaining fiercely but that's a pain he's so used to that he's become expert at ignoring it. There's a rapidly forming bruise high on his cheek and a few nicks where knives made it close enough to draw thin lines of blood.

Papercuts, really. They sting all the same.

The lighting in the alley isn't much to speak of but he rakes his eyes over her anyway as she drops down, scrutinizing. Looking for any sign of discomfort.

All he gets is annoyance, which means she's completely intact. ]

I would've handled it. Most of Ketterdam wants my head on a pike, that's not news.

[ she has some bruised ribs, a few cuts, but far better than kaz. and her annoyance is tempered slightly at the sight of his face, but then

kaz keeps talking. ]

You are unbelievable.

[ with no small amount of frustration, one arm looping around her middle, jaw set. ]

You would have been outnumbered and outflanked had I listened to your ridiculous ego.

[ but Inej exhales abruptly, the breath hissing through her teeth. it was wasted effort, and she was tired, and sore, and her ribs hurt. ]

I am going to sleep; enjoy your victory.

[ two can play the “storm off because I’m immature” game, although Inej doesn’t storm off just yet. she adjusts her jacket to identify a tear in it, irritated.

she should have just stayed on the ship. ]

[ How is he the unbelievable one? This is what he deals with when she's gone, she should know that. She has to know that. After all, it's hardly a departure from what he'd done before she left. Sometimes the Barrel demanded a brawl and that's what it got, blood running in the streets and a silent payment made to the darker side of Ghezen.

Greed came in more forms than simply money.

Exhaling in annoyance, he knows she's likely right about being outflanked. Those mercenaries had meant business; the gun he'd lifted earlier wasn't a rough stock, it was made of something nicer. His irritation dulls as she hisses out a breath—bruised ribs, maybe. Cracked, also possible. ]

I'm walking you back. [ To wherever she's intending to stay. He can't imagine she'll be so keen to remain at the Slat though, the two of them sharing a space like before. ] Or do you object to that as well?

[ she stares at him for a long moment, jaw set, clearly weighing out what she wants to say, and whether she wants to continue this argument here, or at the slat. and the longer she looks at him, the faster exhaustion begins to nip at her heels.

what is she even angry about? his refusal to accept help, for one, but more than that, the knowledge that she isn’t here to be his eyes — not always, not anymore. and while she knows kaz can take care of himself, what about the time when he can’t. where he missteps. where there isn’t a spider lurking in the dark.

maybe she is just tired, and taking it out on him.

— or maybe he’s just being an ass. both are possible, and likely true. ]

I object to your refusal to accept help, and I object to being treated like I cannot help you any longer. But I am not so foolish.

[ finally, and though she still sounds annoyed, it’s slightly less cold. ]

They came from the East. [ the hired help that inej has nearly dispatched. ] We should take the lit path, back home. They will avoid us.

[ it will be easier for inej to keep an eye out without worrying about kaz at the same time. ]

[ There's a tense silence after his question and though the lighting is poor, he gets the impression she's weighing what she wants to say. And is supremely aggravated. In better light, he could see the flex of her jaw, he's sure.

But she doesn't just leave him where he stands, which he'd been sure she would do. ]

Fine.

[ Why is he so cross about this? Perhaps it's just her irritation at his decisions. She's not beholden to him any longer and she's only just gotten back—he just wanted some assurance she was somewhere safe, after being away for four months.

He starts walking then, taking the direction she'd mentioned. Part of him wants to take another route out of spite, but his leg feels it's on fire and the lit path would be one of the shortest. ]

You're not here often. [ Kaz starts, the words a bit stiff, as though he hasn't figured out how he wants to say them. As if it'll explain why he'd been wanting to keep her out of the fight. ]

[ she falls into step with him easily, an arm still looped around her middle. her eyes scan the rooftops briefly, to make sure they aren't being followed . . . but then, anyone who attacks kaz brekker and inej ghafa when they're both in vile moods is likely asking for a death wish to be granted.

but being angry doesn't suit inej, and she soon feels the anger start to bleed out as they walk in silence. she can feel that kaz is still angry and frustrated, but she doesn't comment or speak. instead, she waits for him to speak first . . . and eventually, he does. ]

That is why I am frustrated.

[ it's said evenly, her eyes still roving the rooftops, not looking at him as they walk.

kaz surrounds himself with the best people available, but it had weighed on her mind before she left ketterdam, that kaz would no longer have her. and while inej is humble, she knows that there is no one in ketterdam that can compare to her, in terms of stealth, in terms of collecting information, in terms of watching his back.

it's in thinking this through that she realizes she's being frustrated over something silly, and she exhales slowly, allowing the pressure in her chest to release. ]

One day, you are going to have to start trusting that I can both take care of myself and that I can choose what I want to do with what I have been gifted.

[ in terms of her skill, her freedom. ]

[ Unlike Inej, he's used to the burn of anger. Years of knowing Rollins was out there, living freely without a drop of guilt had haunted him. Motivated him.

This isn't the same kind of fury, but he's familiar with it all the same. Because it's now the shape of words behind his teeth that he can't force out, the chaotic mix of emotion he's having a hard time putting a name to. ]

And what happens to the Wraith if you're killed in a gang spat? What then? [ She worked hard for that dream. The last thing he wants is it to end prematurely.

Or more accurately: the last thing he wants is for her to die because she got caught in the middle. His decisions had already seen her stolen by Van Eck, with her legs nearly shattered. Had gotten her stabbed by Oomen for even being associated with him.

She has the ability to bow out now but she won't take it. ]

That is not your decision to make.

[ and finally, she stops walking, grabbing his wrist to bring him to a stop next to her, jaw set. ]

I wanted to go because I wanted to go. Because I wanted to help my friends, and help you. And whatever consequences arise from that decision are mine, and no one else's.

[ and she uncurls her fingers from his wrist, returning to wrapping both her arms around her middle, eyes dark with frustration. ]

My loyalties did not change simply because I am now free.

[ The grip on his wrist does stop him in his tracks and he turns to look at her. A nearby street lamp illuminates her face, putting her frustration in sharp relief.

He opens his mouth to argue, at first, and then closes it, turning his head away with an annoyed exhale. She's right, as usual. Except it chafes to hear so plainly. Still, he swallows the angry words and unclenches his jaw, bringing his gaze back to hers. ]

It's not your loyalty I'm worried about.

Then you should not be surprised.

[ finally, though, the anger seems to have been released, bleeding slowly from her system as she exhales slowly — and finally, inej just looks tired. she has never been able to remain angry with Kaz in particular, not for very long.

and she purses her lips together, weighing out if she wants to continue before she decides to hell with it. ]

We are supposed to be watching each other’s backs, but you will not allow me to watch yours.

[ Surprised is not exactly the word he would've used. Because as much as he dislikes her decision to follow him, it's not like it/ uncharacteristic of her. Even in the Dregs; when she had something in mind, she was going to do it regardless of his planning. Occasionally, he'd depended on that, calculating her obstinance into a scheme.

Most of the time, though, she did as she wanted. Which was usually the smart move. ]

I didn't want this to be the thing that greeted you back. [ Especially not after a long journey. ]

You cannot control the way the wind blows, Kaz.

[ the barrel will explode when it wants to explode, and inej could arrive in peace, and she could arrive in war. but she would rather be on his side in both instances, than waiting somewhere without him.

she watches him for a long moment before she sighs, unlooping one arm from around her middle to catch his free hand, squeezing it gently before tugging him along, to continue walking toward the slat. ]

We should go to sleep; you will likely be needed in the morning.

[ That he knows and it still rankles in some ways. Especially in this instance, where he just wants to keep Inej safe, to guarantee she'll outlive him somehow, even though their work is dangerous.

Briefly, he entertains the thought of doing something else. Building it all up and burning it to the ground, like he told her at the end of the Van Eck job. But no, he can't do that now, he's embroiled in it all and wouldn't have it any other way. ]

There's a healer probably at the Slat, do you want them to take a look at those ribs?

[ Honestly, sleep sounds really good right now, in light of everything that happened. And maybe with the anger fading, he's simply glad to have her here, his fingers giving hers a little squeeze as they start walking again. ]

[ there's a huff of frustration at the comment about her ribs, and inej intertwines their fingers as they walk. she is desperately glad to be back, and relieved everything went well. and now that the anger has faded, inej really just wants to hug him tightly and then go to sleep. ]

I will be fine. [ the moron who punched her was wearing brass knuckles, which was annoying, mostly because she should have moved out of the way, but she had had another one on her heels, and needed to dispatch them quickly. ] It is just a bruise; I will wrap them before I go to sleep.

[ nothing a good night sleep won't fix. but as they walk . . . ]

You should see them; you look like you took a few hard hits.

[ he won't, but. you know. an attempt has to be made. ]

[ The question: do you want help Is at the top of his tongue and he struggles over whether or not it's too much. Whether that's a boundary being crossed. In the hotel, he helped with her shoulder, but this is different. They're both different. Better in some ways, he thinks, as he wishes he'd taken his gloves off to hold her hand. ]

It looks worse than it is, my coat suffered the most. [ And it was left somewhere in that fray, probably unsalvageable. Everything else was cuts and bruises, things to clean off before getting into bed. ]

Do you— [ Um. Well, he started it, may as we'll finish. ] —will you want any help?

[ ah, right. his coat. that was what was missing. better than his gloves and (saints forbid) his ostentatious cane. but inej makes a mental note to herself to see if she can retrieve it in the early morning, before law enforcement arrives to scour the scene . . . if they care enough to do so, anyway.

at his question, though, inej opens her mouth to respond with an easy I can do it myself, but she stops before the words escape. recalculating her response in her head.

truthfully, she doesn't really need the help. she's done it herself multiple times, and she would likely continue to do it herself for the foreseeable future. but he had offered, which meant two things: (1) he legitimately wants to help and (2) he might actually feel bad for being an ass.

the odds of number (2) being true remain to be seen, but the first was probably a certainty.

so: ]

It would be easier if I had help. [ an acquiescence; the truth, but allowing him an out if he didn't want to bother. but to clear the awkwardness from the air, inej gently bumps her shoulder into his, her tone shifting from quiet to a little more dry: ] Does this mean you are no longer angry with me?

[ one day she'll get an actual apology out of kaz brekker. it probably won't be over this, because inej probably should have stayed home. but she can dream. ]

[ The question is out there and as much as some part of him wants to take it back, he won't. It's progress, right?

Still, he's a bit surprised when she agrees to let him. He feels the first creep of anxiety, mentally preparing to be so close and touch so much. Her nudge against his side soothes some of it, because he thinks about hugging her instead. How nice it had been to do so. ]

The odds are in your favor. [ Staying angry with Inej is a useless exercise. And maybe he does feel a little bad for taking his worry out on her.

As they get to the Slat, he opens the door and holds it for her, doing a quick scan of the downstairs. It's relatively quiet, as it sometimes is after a big fight, the adrenaline worn off into worry for the injured. Anika nods to him from the open doorway of one of the bigger rooms, clearly overseeing something. Later, he'll take stock of the situation. There's no point in doing it now. ]

[ there's a slight roll of her eyes at his response, but as she ducks into the slat, the feelings of annoyance finally melt away completely. it's unusually quiet, and her lips purse together into a faint frown at the lack of noise, and -- presumably -- the injured people in the wings.

it's far from her first gang conflict, and it likely won't be the last, even if inej stayed away from the slat for the rest of her days. but every time it happens, her heart is heavy -- for the people lost, and the people injured. the thought of how it could have been her, or kaz, or jesper . . .

she gets through the people who are there relatively easily, a slight wave of a hand in greeting to some dregs she recognizes, before she heads for the stairs. she doesn't look to see if kaz is following her, because she assumes he'll head up there anyway.

once she does get up there, she waits for kaz, resting against the desk in the corner, exhaling slowly to release some of the pressure in her chest . . . but once he does meander into the room, inej makes it about two seconds before she crosses the room and (with a beat of hesitation), slowly loops her arms around his middle for a hug, resting her forehead against his chest with a breath.

she is glad he is okay.

even if he is the worst. ]

[ They're both quiet as they head in and Kaz is only momentarily waylaid by one of the healers, who gives him a quick update. It's not as bad as he imagined, but any injured or dead is still a tough thing to think on. He heads up the stairs after Inej much more slowly, the adrenaline having faded and leaving his leg in more pain than usual.

Eventually, he hobbles into his room, shutting the door behind him. He has exactly two seconds before Inej is standing in front of him. And then a half beat more before her arms loop around his middle. Any tension he'd been holding onto seems to slough off and he curves his arm along her shoulders, pulling her a little closer. ]

I missed you. [ Despite not acting like it earlier. ]

I missed you too.

[ it’s muffled into his shirt, exhaling slowly as she allowed herself to relax. it had been a long road to sea, and the events of the evening were jarring, and now that the adrenaline was slowly wearing off, she’s allowing herself to feel the last month or so catch up with her.

but after a moment, she allows herself to pull away enough to rest her chin against his chest, to look up at him with a slight frown. ]

Are you sure you do not need a healer?

[ A healer would certainly make the injuries either nonexistent or go away faster at the very least. But that's more time with people that aren't Inej. And he knows his injuries really aren't that bad. Some bandages and a few days will do they trick. ]

I'm sure, I've taken worse beatings. They barely left a scratch.

[ He smooths his hand down the line of her back, affectionate. Just wanting to touch. Though he really should take his gloves off. ]

Let's have a look at those ribs.

[ the frown is still present on her face, but she sighs with a slight roll of her eyes, loosening her arms from around his middle. she will surrender the battle on getting kaz to see a healer . . . for now.

there's an odd feeling in her stomach, though, as her fingers make quick work unbuttoning and unzipping her hooded jacket. undressing in front of anyone was uncomfortable, but she steels her nerves, tugging the jacket open and shrugging out of it easily. it's set aside on the nearby table, her fingers shifting to undoing the holster where her hidden knives rest against her side. once that is also finished, she's in a tank top.

there's another moment of hesitation before she pulls up the shirt a little, to show her ribs and stomach. there is a scar on her side, from the fight on the docks, what feels like forever ago . . . but really, it doesn't look too terrible. there is a bruise developing along her right side from where the black tip managed to hit her while she was distracted, but judging from the blood on inej's knives, he quickly paid the price for thinking he could fight the wraith in close quarters. ]

I do not think they are broken.

[ it's murmured, a little frustrated with herself, a hand gingerly pressing against her side as she frowns. ]

It was only one hit, but he was bigger than I was.

[ inej like everyone is bigger than you are. but once she prods her ribs a bit, trying to gauge how damaged they are, she sounds slightly less frustrated with herself, and a little more wryness melts into her tone: ]

I do not think he knew who I was until he hit me.

[ he figured it out at the flash of steel. ]

[ He doesn't watch as she starts to undress, instead going through his own motions. It has to be uncomfortable for her, considering everything, but he feels—not proud, exactly. More like glad that she trusts him enough to do this, because he hears the rustle of clothing behind him.

It's quite in the room save for that and Kaz goes to undo his tie, shrug off his vest. The latter will need stitching to save. After a brief hesitation, he pulls his gloves off, leaving them on his bedside table. From the drawer, he takes out a roll of bandages and a small jar of salve; it should make the swelling less. ]

If your breath isn't short, they're not broken. [ He turns to face her finally, sweeping a concerned look over her. There's already a dark spread of black and blue on her side, which she's prodding tenderly. ]

Almost everyone is bigger than you, Inej. [ In a lot of ways, it's helpful. Her stabs are much closer to their middle and a gut wound is nothing to scoff at. ] I doubt he would've tried to hit you if he'd known.

[ Too bad for him that he figured it out the hard way. Dragging his office chair closer to the desk, he gestures for her to come over so they can start in on the bandages. ]

[ well. comforting enough information to know, and inej steps toward the desk, turning to push herself up onto it neatly. she sits, so she can be more at his level -- easier for her to sit on the desk, than sit in the chair and have him bed over. or so she thought, anyway.

it takes a moment for her to figure out the best way to turn, but she soon faces kaz while sitting on the desk, tugging up her shirt again with a tired sigh. ]

I know, I know. [ in reference to everyone being bigger than she is. ] But it is easy to forget, until I get caught.

[ which, thankfully, is almost never.

she's nervous, her heart thrumming in her chest, because the last time they had attempted this had ended . . . poorly. granted, they were both different people, and granted, they were both at the end of their rope in terms of stress, in terms of survival. in terms of fighting back against both pekka and van eck. now, they were both a little . . . more at peace.

even if they had just had an argument. and she is quiet for a moment before a small smile graces her features, tone shifting to something a little lighter. more to distract herself, from the nerves. ]

I had envisioned tonight a little differently.

[ she should have known better, and she also got herself into this mess by insisting on helping kaz, but. you know. whatever. ]

[ Here's the real challenge of the night. Fighting in a gang romp in the streets is nearly rote, especially for anyone who's spent more than three months in the Barrel. He has almost a decade at this point and his proverbial knives are as sharp as they can be.

As are hers, which is why they're both sitting here, alive. With about as minimal injury as one could ask for in a big fight like the one they'd just left.

Still, he steels himself for it and takes a seat in the chair when she levers herself up onto the desk. It's nearly identical to how they'd been in the hotel. Like a second chance not to mess it all up. The jar is set on the edge of the desk, lid unscrewed so he can dip his fingers in it. ]

I wanted to take you to dinner, when you got back. [ But everything had gone sideways instead. Carefully, he brushes some of the sticky salve where the bruise has discolored the most, holding back his initial urge to pull his hand away. More gently than most would probably believe of him, he spreads it over the skin, getting it towards the edges of the bruise.

No water, not yet. ]

You'll want to reapply this when the bandages are changed. Should knock a few days off the healing.

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