OPEN POST 2020.

[legalized]

【my ❝CALL ME OUT❞ post】
get my ass in gear.

♛ here is my muselist. ♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their name in the subject line! ♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy! ♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go. meme code.

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[ketterdamn]

[ She takes his hand and he curls his fingers around hers, still glad when he can actually do it. When his mind doesn't conjure up all of the worst images and just lets him have this. Lets them both have this, after all they've been through.

Of course, he wants to keep trying to push the boundary. Just a little. So he brings her hand to his uninjured cheek, tilting his face towards the touch. ]

What would I do without your critical feedback? [ He says it wryly, though there's a grain of something genuine under it. ] Someone grabbed the coat, it was faster to shrug it off than to shake him.

[wraithes]

Not be the boss of the Barrel, most likely.

[ just as wry, though she gently runs her thumb over his cheekbone, her expression melting into something a bit more soft. ]

Would you like more? Critical feedback.

[ she clearly doesn't mean it. or maybe she does. she has a solid four years of critical feedback to go through when it comes to kaz, thanks. ]

[ketterdamn]

Very likely.

[ Her input and her knives have been major assets. She looked for things he would miss and wasn't afraid to point them out.

Which had occasionally been frustrating. But he had never regretted taking her thoughts into account, since she was normally right. ]

Let me get a shirt on before you give me the laundry list. [ Reluctantly, he pulls himself away from her touch, noting it's another step forward. Last time, he hadn't been able to handle her palm on his cheek with any regularity. This time, he hadn't even felt the pull of the harbor at the back of his mind.

When he stands, he offers her a hand down from the desk before going to pull a sleeping shirt on, the bandages she'd carefully applied making sure the cloth doesn't catch on the cuts. ]

[wraithes]

It is not that long a list.

[ a slight protest, but she does take his hand to allow herself to be pulled up, landing lightly on her feet. she needs to get dressed into pajamas herself, but pulling off her boots seems to be the first step. and so she moves to her own space, to sit down on the bed to begin work on those.

i didn't even have a chance to put on my climbing shoes, inej thought ruefully, undoing the laces quickly so she could pull them off. at least she had had the foresight to bring her things with her, this time, so she did not have to return to the ship for a set of clothes. ]

It is actually fairly small. Comparatively.

[ compared to other people's lists of kaz brekker's flaws, anyway. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ He lets her go after she's hopped off the desk, the two of them going their own ways to get ready for bed. This time, there's no awkward start—he'd gotten used to having her upstairs with him enough that they'd fallen into a routine.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he unlaces his shoes and tucks them under, so he won't trip on them in the morning. Changes out of trousers into more comfortable pants to sleep in and flops back onto his pillows with his eyes closed. What a long day. ]

Comparatively. [ Well, he figures someone like Van Eck would have a longer list. Or the leader of the Black Tips, who is probably furiously scribbling more reasons down due to tonight. ]

[wraithes]

[ she changes into sleeping clothes easily, and once she tugs a looser shirt over her head, she exhales slowly. the tiredness is catching up to her, but she still has to undo her hair.

she glances toward kaz, amused that he already looks like he's ten seconds from passing out himself. everything had gone relatively well . . . so what's pushing one more boundary. just a little one.

she crosses the the room, untying her hair with her hands as she speaks, before she sits on the edge of his bed, at his hip, slowly undoing the plait of her braid. ]

You are stubborn. [ mildly, as she combs her fingers through the bottom part of her braid. ] Lack a sense of humor, on a good day. [ she glances toward him, amused. ] The cane is a bit much.

[ ostentatious. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ The bed dips and he doesn't expect it, eyes opening to find her sitting close to his hip. Immediately his gaze drops to her fingers as they unwind her braid, the motion mesmerizing.

And as always, making him want to touch her hair. He doesn't though, crossing his arms over his middle instead. ]

Does the Barrel even make people who aren't? [ Stubbornness is a way of life, here. Perhaps he's more strong headed than most, but that's what's gotten him to this point. With no Per Haskell leading the gang, with Pekka Rollins regretting the day he ever came into contact with the two Rietveld boys. ]

I have a sense of humor. [ He says, with a frown. Okay maybe not much of one. ] The cane is exactly what it needs to be.

[ Iconic. A warning to anyone seeing him walk down the street. There's no mistaking the shape of it for anyone else's. And it has the added benefit of inflicting that much more damage, with the silver beak. ]

[wraithes]

An inability to either take a joke or accept criticism.

[ lightly, as she finishes unbraiding her hair, shaking it out lightly so it falls over her shoulders, and she tosses him half a grin.

chill tf out, kaz. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ He wants to protest but then she's grinning at him, clearly not intending for her comments to be so pointed. So instead of annoyance, he huffs out a sigh. Maybe he really does need to relax.

There's just—so much to worry about at any given time. ]

Alright, alright, you've made your point. [ And there's the smallest curl of amusement as he looks at her, finally reaching over to twirl a lock of hair around his finger. ] With Rollins gone it's been...different.

[ An adjustment. He isn't nearly as angry in the day to day, but some things are hard to change. ]

[wraithes]

[ she nearly adds oversensitive to the list, but he begins to play with her hair, and inej's expression shifts into a softer smile, pulling one of her legs onto the bed properly, her leg resting against his side as she tucks her foot underneath her. her right leg remains hanging off the bed, her toes barely touching the ground.

she knows he's getting used to this new life. and he wears it well, if she's honest. but it's a bit like watching a child wade into water for the first time . . . kaz is figuring out how to live without the ghost of his past hanging over him, and it will take time, before he really adjusts to his new reality. ]

Do you want to hear your good qualities?

[ amused, as she continues to work her fingers through her hair, to untangle what little knots exist. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ In the past, he's thought about this before. About her just leaning against him in some way, like how her leg is pressed to his side. Touching without expectation and without either of them dredging up ghosts. It's almost surreal to see it happening, to know they've made it this far.

He likes this more than he's ready to admit out loud. ]

Let's hear it, Captain. [ Maybe he can muster up enough courage to do the same for her. The words are already on his tongue, a jumbled mess of feelings from how positively he views her. Even when she's being stubborn.

Or maybe especially when she's being stubborn, with that tilt of determination to her chin and a flash behind her dark eyes. It's usually on the heels of her doing something seemingly impossible, like taking down men three times her size. ]

[wraithes]

[ the willingness to hear his good qualities versus the delay to hear his bad ones causes a soft laugh to escape, but as promised, inej continues to comb out her hair with her fingers, and she thinks to herself. where to start . . . ]

You are willing to do what is necessary, even if it is hard. [ it's not her favorite thing about kaz, but it is likely the one she admires most. she moves to another section of her hair, to continue combing it out. ] You are brave, and smart.

[ a genius, really, with his stupid scheming face. ]

You see potential in people that they may not see in themselves.

[ like herself, and jesper, and wylan, and -- well, really, all of them. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ The first few are simply a result of living in the Barrel, he thinks. And from his sheer determination to get Rollins back after what he'd done. It takes a certain kind of person to get far in this city and he had't intended to ever go back to being a sheep that could be so easily fleeced.

That's why he no longer went by Rietveld– that part of him is gone, drowned in the harbor and never seen again. Her comment about potential is not exactly surprising, though looking back he does wonder if that had been the only reason he'd reached out to the people he did. To her, Jesper, Wylan, Nina. To any of the younger Dregs he'd pulled into the fold. His intentions then had felt clear as day and now he's not so sure they had been the only motivations.

Because at least for her, he remembers the silence of her steps, how she'd managed to sneak up on him so well. But also the visceral recoil at quiet pleading he'd seen in her face. He knew what damage looked like and her gaze had stuck with him the entire way back to Per Haskell's office. ]

Potential doesn't mean anything if it isn't sharpened. [ And isn't that what she'd done? He handed her a knife and she'd become a wraith, another monster in Ketterdam that the other ones feared. ] How you still see the good in people after everything, I'll never understand.

[wraithes]

[ the last part causes an upward curve to her lips, as she puts her hands in her lap, leaning a tiny bit more against him. her hair is now fully combed out (at least, with her fingers), and hanging around past her shoulders.

the menagerie was hell. dehumanizing, humiliating. if the men did not beat her, haleen did -- if inej cried, or if she voiced her doubt, or if she earned less money on any given day of the week, or if she existed. she eventually lost hope that she would ever break out of it, until kaz brekker found her in a foyer.

potential does have to be sharpened, but there was no guarantee inej would be able to do anything that kaz needed. she was small, and terrified, and willing to sell her soul to a gang to escape. she could have cracked, or died, or not been worth the effort. but kaz had decided that she was.

no one else had.

so she watches him, thoughtful, with a quiet sort of look, before she shrugs a shoulder. ]

You are the reason why I can.

[ it's said easily, as she brushes a piece of hair out of her eyes. ]

You came back.

[ketterdamn]

[ Over time, he's gotten a fair idea of what she went through, without asking. He'd decided from the outset that she didn't need to tell him, because what was the past in a gang? So many of them had joined up to leave it all behind, to start fresh in some way and she hadn't been any different.

Well, aside from not wearing the tattoo. Per Haskell had heckled him for giving her an out, but he'd seen the peacock feather on her forearm. And had been around when she got it cut out of her skin, an ugly scar left in its wake. It didn't matter to him if she didn't want the crow and cup; some marks went deeper. ]

No one's ever snuck up on me like that. [ Not to mention the bells tied to her ankles. It was like they hadn't even existed for how quiet she'd been. Gently, he brushes his palm down her arm, fingers landing on where her scar is under the sleeve of her shirt. ]

I wish I'd known sooner.

[wraithes]

So you say.

[ but that does not explain the amount of money paid for her, or kaz becoming her protector in the dregs, teaching her how to fight, making certain that she could defend herself... he had done all of that on what, a hunch?

perhaps. but Inej didn’t really believe that, and as she watches him run a hand along her arm, and rest his fingers against her forearm... ]

I wish I had met you sooner, too.

[ but she smiles — and it’s soft, but no less genuine. ]

But we met when we met, for a reason. And you gave me hope. Which I think is my favorite thing about you. [ and she nudges her leg against his side, her smile becoming a small grin. ] When you are not an aggravation, anyway.

[ketterdamn]

[ It really isn't the whole story, to simply say she was silent and that she'd impressed him. Nor is it fair to even consider her an investment, not when he'd done so much to make sure she survived Ketterdam. To make sure she had ways of getting out, when everything had started going downhill and the likelihood of ending up in a noose had crept so close.

She hadn't taken him up on it, but the offer had been made. Because he'd found himself caring about this girl and her saints, her willingness to challenge him, the effortless flash of her knives.

It goes beyond just caring, though, when he thinks about her smiling towards the sun or laughing so brightly, suddenly. He's still afraid to put a word to it. ]

I did warn you I'm a bastard. [ He returns her grin, amused at her little jab. His hand settles on the knee she has nudged against him, halfway to an affectionate pat. ] I'm glad you stopped me in that hallway. Every day.

[ Is he admitting to thinking about her that much? Seems like. ]

[wraithes]

[ the hand on her knee is new, but a nice weighted warmth. and she watches him, peaceful and comfortable, a free hand playing with a loose thread on his shirt. ]

You have a very specific face when you think someone is repulsive. You are not as good at hiding it as you think.

[ and she stops playing with the thread, instead resting her hand against his chest, the movement lazy and light. ]

I knew you were my only chance after I listened to your conversations with Haleen. You looked bored. Or you tried to, but you hated her.

[ no man who walked into that place hates haleen. ]

I would have died there, if you had not visited on that day.

[ketterdamn]

[ Read from day one. He shouldn't be surprised but he is, just a little. Since then, he's gotten better at hiding how he feels to people, to the marks or informants he dislikes. After all, he fooled Haskell for years, goading in the right places. Every second had made him grind his teeth that it was even necessary, though, and that was probably what she'd seen when he'd visited the Menagerie. ]

I don't like people who pretend to be something they aren't. [ Rollins has been the first strike, the one that pretended to care. Heleen had the same type of face and he'd known it as soon as she said hello. It was how her smile was a little too wide and too sharp, never reaching her eyes. How she wanted so badly to dig her claws in and see him squirm.

He hadn't given her the satisfaction. ] Frankly, I was concerned you weren't going to make it in the aftermath.

[wraithes]

[ there's a soft noise, but it's hard to place what it means. inej means it when she says that she would have died in the menagerie, had kaz not rescued her, but making it afterward . . . once she knew she could leave, she clawed her way out as quickly as possible. ]

She has faded into nothingness.

[ it's said finally, swinging her free leg that is hanging off the bed lightly. ]

As has that place.

[ thanks, again, to kaz. ]

[ketterdamn]

I wanted to burn it to the ground.

[ There's something satisfying about having a physical outcome. But that would've just gotten Heleen pity for her property and an insurance payout. Rumors of a plague was much more damaging—she hasn't had a lick of business since.

A financial ruin. If she ended up on the streets of the Barrel, he'd make sure she stayed there, miserable.

He brushes his palm across her knee and sits up, taking a hand through his hair tiredly. The day was catch up quickly. ]

Get some rest. Those birds of yours are going to make a racket in the morning.

[wraithes]

[ burning it to the ground would have been beautiful. maybe some day, just to drive the nail into the coffin. and she's about to say so when kaz sits up, and encourages her to go to sleep.

she probably should. though the comment about the birds causes a roll of her eyes, because the birds were there before she lived in the slat, and they clearly have stayed after she left. and she remains seated on the bed, watching him, her expression hard to read.

she then decides to be brave.

she shifts her weight, to place her hand on the bed to steady herself, before she leans forward into his personal space. she feels her own anxiety spike, at being so close, but inej ignores it, before gently kissing his cheek.

a silent thank you. an easy way to say a lot without saying anything at all. it's hard, really, to put into words how much kaz means to her, and what he's done for her means to her. she figures it's a good start.

then, before much more can be said, inej leans back to unfold her legs, to stand, and adds a dry: ]

They are not my birds.

[ jerk. ]

[ketterdamn]

[ When she doesn't immediately stand, he wonders if he's said something he shouldn't have. Or maybe he's said something right and she's weighing her response. Whichever the case, her expression has gone unreadable. It makes him slightly nervous, because he can never tell what that means. Sometimes it's simply thoughtful, other times she's got something on her mind that will have an impact when she finally speaks up.

Except she doesn't say anything. Not out loud, anyway. He should be used to that, considering how many times they've had a full conversation without speaking. Instead, she leans in and he forces himself still, a bit wide-eyed when she kisses him on the cheek.

He's still in shock when she gets up and it takes all of his willpower not to touch the spot she'd kissed. ]

They might as well be. Any time you aren't here, they harass me from the sill.

[wraithes]

Perhaps you should feed them.

[ knowingly, as she rises to her feet, allowing her fingers to gently brush against his shoulder as she does so, to make her way to her own corner of the room. ]

Go to sleep so we can get breakfast, tomorrow.

[ as she settles on her own bed, slipping underneath the covers easily. and, finally, she exhales to herself, allowing her eyes to close as she allows relaxation to claim her.

he hadn't pushed her away, or had a reaction, that she could notice.

progress. ]

[ketterdamn]

Then they would bother me more.

[ Not necessarily true. They might be more affectionate, at least? Like they are with Inej, chirping and hopping about.

Well, whatever. He appreciates the small touch on his shoulder and gets up after her, flipping the covers back and sliding under them. All at once, the day catches up with him, an exhaustion settling in. But it doesn't come with the usual ache, he feels strangely light; his mind cycles back to the kiss on his cheek. The last thing he thinks of before sleep creeps up quickly.

He wants to return it, before she goes. ]