timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ The grip on his wrist does stop him in his tracks and he turns to look at her. A nearby street lamp illuminates her face, putting her frustration in sharp relief.

He opens his mouth to argue, at first, and then closes it, turning his head away with an annoyed exhale. She's right, as usual. Except it chafes to hear so plainly. Still, he swallows the angry words and unclenches his jaw, bringing his gaze back to hers. ]

It's not your loyalty I'm worried about.

Then you should not be surprised.

[ finally, though, the anger seems to have been released, bleeding slowly from her system as she exhales slowly — and finally, inej just looks tired. she has never been able to remain angry with Kaz in particular, not for very long.

and she purses her lips together, weighing out if she wants to continue before she decides to hell with it. ]

We are supposed to be watching each other’s backs, but you will not allow me to watch yours.

[ Surprised is not exactly the word he would've used. Because as much as he dislikes her decision to follow him, it's not like it/ uncharacteristic of her. Even in the Dregs; when she had something in mind, she was going to do it regardless of his planning. Occasionally, he'd depended on that, calculating her obstinance into a scheme.

Most of the time, though, she did as she wanted. Which was usually the smart move. ]

I didn't want this to be the thing that greeted you back. [ Especially not after a long journey. ]

You cannot control the way the wind blows, Kaz.

[ the barrel will explode when it wants to explode, and inej could arrive in peace, and she could arrive in war. but she would rather be on his side in both instances, than waiting somewhere without him.

she watches him for a long moment before she sighs, unlooping one arm from around her middle to catch his free hand, squeezing it gently before tugging him along, to continue walking toward the slat. ]

We should go to sleep; you will likely be needed in the morning.

[ That he knows and it still rankles in some ways. Especially in this instance, where he just wants to keep Inej safe, to guarantee she'll outlive him somehow, even though their work is dangerous.

Briefly, he entertains the thought of doing something else. Building it all up and burning it to the ground, like he told her at the end of the Van Eck job. But no, he can't do that now, he's embroiled in it all and wouldn't have it any other way. ]

There's a healer probably at the Slat, do you want them to take a look at those ribs?

[ Honestly, sleep sounds really good right now, in light of everything that happened. And maybe with the anger fading, he's simply glad to have her here, his fingers giving hers a little squeeze as they start walking again. ]

[ there's a huff of frustration at the comment about her ribs, and inej intertwines their fingers as they walk. she is desperately glad to be back, and relieved everything went well. and now that the anger has faded, inej really just wants to hug him tightly and then go to sleep. ]

I will be fine. [ the moron who punched her was wearing brass knuckles, which was annoying, mostly because she should have moved out of the way, but she had had another one on her heels, and needed to dispatch them quickly. ] It is just a bruise; I will wrap them before I go to sleep.

[ nothing a good night sleep won't fix. but as they walk . . . ]

You should see them; you look like you took a few hard hits.

[ he won't, but. you know. an attempt has to be made. ]

[ The question: do you want help Is at the top of his tongue and he struggles over whether or not it's too much. Whether that's a boundary being crossed. In the hotel, he helped with her shoulder, but this is different. They're both different. Better in some ways, he thinks, as he wishes he'd taken his gloves off to hold her hand. ]

It looks worse than it is, my coat suffered the most. [ And it was left somewhere in that fray, probably unsalvageable. Everything else was cuts and bruises, things to clean off before getting into bed. ]

Do you— [ Um. Well, he started it, may as we'll finish. ] —will you want any help?

[ ah, right. his coat. that was what was missing. better than his gloves and (saints forbid) his ostentatious cane. but inej makes a mental note to herself to see if she can retrieve it in the early morning, before law enforcement arrives to scour the scene . . . if they care enough to do so, anyway.

at his question, though, inej opens her mouth to respond with an easy I can do it myself, but she stops before the words escape. recalculating her response in her head.

truthfully, she doesn't really need the help. she's done it herself multiple times, and she would likely continue to do it herself for the foreseeable future. but he had offered, which meant two things: (1) he legitimately wants to help and (2) he might actually feel bad for being an ass.

the odds of number (2) being true remain to be seen, but the first was probably a certainty.

so: ]

It would be easier if I had help. [ an acquiescence; the truth, but allowing him an out if he didn't want to bother. but to clear the awkwardness from the air, inej gently bumps her shoulder into his, her tone shifting from quiet to a little more dry: ] Does this mean you are no longer angry with me?

[ one day she'll get an actual apology out of kaz brekker. it probably won't be over this, because inej probably should have stayed home. but she can dream. ]

[ The question is out there and as much as some part of him wants to take it back, he won't. It's progress, right?

Still, he's a bit surprised when she agrees to let him. He feels the first creep of anxiety, mentally preparing to be so close and touch so much. Her nudge against his side soothes some of it, because he thinks about hugging her instead. How nice it had been to do so. ]

The odds are in your favor. [ Staying angry with Inej is a useless exercise. And maybe he does feel a little bad for taking his worry out on her.

As they get to the Slat, he opens the door and holds it for her, doing a quick scan of the downstairs. It's relatively quiet, as it sometimes is after a big fight, the adrenaline worn off into worry for the injured. Anika nods to him from the open doorway of one of the bigger rooms, clearly overseeing something. Later, he'll take stock of the situation. There's no point in doing it now. ]

[ there's a slight roll of her eyes at his response, but as she ducks into the slat, the feelings of annoyance finally melt away completely. it's unusually quiet, and her lips purse together into a faint frown at the lack of noise, and -- presumably -- the injured people in the wings.

it's far from her first gang conflict, and it likely won't be the last, even if inej stayed away from the slat for the rest of her days. but every time it happens, her heart is heavy -- for the people lost, and the people injured. the thought of how it could have been her, or kaz, or jesper . . .

she gets through the people who are there relatively easily, a slight wave of a hand in greeting to some dregs she recognizes, before she heads for the stairs. she doesn't look to see if kaz is following her, because she assumes he'll head up there anyway.

once she does get up there, she waits for kaz, resting against the desk in the corner, exhaling slowly to release some of the pressure in her chest . . . but once he does meander into the room, inej makes it about two seconds before she crosses the room and (with a beat of hesitation), slowly loops her arms around his middle for a hug, resting her forehead against his chest with a breath.

she is glad he is okay.

even if he is the worst. ]

[ They're both quiet as they head in and Kaz is only momentarily waylaid by one of the healers, who gives him a quick update. It's not as bad as he imagined, but any injured or dead is still a tough thing to think on. He heads up the stairs after Inej much more slowly, the adrenaline having faded and leaving his leg in more pain than usual.

Eventually, he hobbles into his room, shutting the door behind him. He has exactly two seconds before Inej is standing in front of him. And then a half beat more before her arms loop around his middle. Any tension he'd been holding onto seems to slough off and he curves his arm along her shoulders, pulling her a little closer. ]

I missed you. [ Despite not acting like it earlier. ]

I missed you too.

[ it’s muffled into his shirt, exhaling slowly as she allowed herself to relax. it had been a long road to sea, and the events of the evening were jarring, and now that the adrenaline was slowly wearing off, she’s allowing herself to feel the last month or so catch up with her.

but after a moment, she allows herself to pull away enough to rest her chin against his chest, to look up at him with a slight frown. ]

Are you sure you do not need a healer?

[ A healer would certainly make the injuries either nonexistent or go away faster at the very least. But that's more time with people that aren't Inej. And he knows his injuries really aren't that bad. Some bandages and a few days will do they trick. ]

I'm sure, I've taken worse beatings. They barely left a scratch.

[ He smooths his hand down the line of her back, affectionate. Just wanting to touch. Though he really should take his gloves off. ]

Let's have a look at those ribs.

[ the frown is still present on her face, but she sighs with a slight roll of her eyes, loosening her arms from around his middle. she will surrender the battle on getting kaz to see a healer . . . for now.

there's an odd feeling in her stomach, though, as her fingers make quick work unbuttoning and unzipping her hooded jacket. undressing in front of anyone was uncomfortable, but she steels her nerves, tugging the jacket open and shrugging out of it easily. it's set aside on the nearby table, her fingers shifting to undoing the holster where her hidden knives rest against her side. once that is also finished, she's in a tank top.

there's another moment of hesitation before she pulls up the shirt a little, to show her ribs and stomach. there is a scar on her side, from the fight on the docks, what feels like forever ago . . . but really, it doesn't look too terrible. there is a bruise developing along her right side from where the black tip managed to hit her while she was distracted, but judging from the blood on inej's knives, he quickly paid the price for thinking he could fight the wraith in close quarters. ]

I do not think they are broken.

[ it's murmured, a little frustrated with herself, a hand gingerly pressing against her side as she frowns. ]

It was only one hit, but he was bigger than I was.

[ inej like everyone is bigger than you are. but once she prods her ribs a bit, trying to gauge how damaged they are, she sounds slightly less frustrated with herself, and a little more wryness melts into her tone: ]

I do not think he knew who I was until he hit me.

[ he figured it out at the flash of steel. ]

[ He doesn't watch as she starts to undress, instead going through his own motions. It has to be uncomfortable for her, considering everything, but he feels—not proud, exactly. More like glad that she trusts him enough to do this, because he hears the rustle of clothing behind him.

It's quite in the room save for that and Kaz goes to undo his tie, shrug off his vest. The latter will need stitching to save. After a brief hesitation, he pulls his gloves off, leaving them on his bedside table. From the drawer, he takes out a roll of bandages and a small jar of salve; it should make the swelling less. ]

If your breath isn't short, they're not broken. [ He turns to face her finally, sweeping a concerned look over her. There's already a dark spread of black and blue on her side, which she's prodding tenderly. ]

Almost everyone is bigger than you, Inej. [ In a lot of ways, it's helpful. Her stabs are much closer to their middle and a gut wound is nothing to scoff at. ] I doubt he would've tried to hit you if he'd known.

[ Too bad for him that he figured it out the hard way. Dragging his office chair closer to the desk, he gestures for her to come over so they can start in on the bandages. ]

[ well. comforting enough information to know, and inej steps toward the desk, turning to push herself up onto it neatly. she sits, so she can be more at his level -- easier for her to sit on the desk, than sit in the chair and have him bed over. or so she thought, anyway.

it takes a moment for her to figure out the best way to turn, but she soon faces kaz while sitting on the desk, tugging up her shirt again with a tired sigh. ]

I know, I know. [ in reference to everyone being bigger than she is. ] But it is easy to forget, until I get caught.

[ which, thankfully, is almost never.

she's nervous, her heart thrumming in her chest, because the last time they had attempted this had ended . . . poorly. granted, they were both different people, and granted, they were both at the end of their rope in terms of stress, in terms of survival. in terms of fighting back against both pekka and van eck. now, they were both a little . . . more at peace.

even if they had just had an argument. and she is quiet for a moment before a small smile graces her features, tone shifting to something a little lighter. more to distract herself, from the nerves. ]

I had envisioned tonight a little differently.

[ she should have known better, and she also got herself into this mess by insisting on helping kaz, but. you know. whatever. ]

[ Here's the real challenge of the night. Fighting in a gang romp in the streets is nearly rote, especially for anyone who's spent more than three months in the Barrel. He has almost a decade at this point and his proverbial knives are as sharp as they can be.

As are hers, which is why they're both sitting here, alive. With about as minimal injury as one could ask for in a big fight like the one they'd just left.

Still, he steels himself for it and takes a seat in the chair when she levers herself up onto the desk. It's nearly identical to how they'd been in the hotel. Like a second chance not to mess it all up. The jar is set on the edge of the desk, lid unscrewed so he can dip his fingers in it. ]

I wanted to take you to dinner, when you got back. [ But everything had gone sideways instead. Carefully, he brushes some of the sticky salve where the bruise has discolored the most, holding back his initial urge to pull his hand away. More gently than most would probably believe of him, he spreads it over the skin, getting it towards the edges of the bruise.

No water, not yet. ]

You'll want to reapply this when the bandages are changed. Should knock a few days off the healing.

[ she stills at the touch, her breathing slowing. but she doesn't draw away, remaining still as the grave as he works . . . though her lips curve upward, at the news of the evening that could have been. that was almost . . . normal. ]

I remember. [ a little ruefully; inej is hard to hit, but she has experienced her fair share of barrel brawls. and sometimes, the wraith has a bad night. and she was remiss to remember her recovery from the fight on the dock, and how long it had felt until she regained her strength. and that had been with nina's gift, easing it along.

she pushes the memory out of her mind, instead focusing on something more pleasant, which is the dinner they were supposed to have. ]

Where were you going to take me?

[ talking had helped last time, when they touched, or tried something new. so she speaks quietly, to keep his focus. ]

[ Now that the salve is on, he can work on the bandages. This is where it fell apart, last time. Because he will have to stand to get closer, in order to reach around her middle. Nerves start to climb up his throat as he gets up, remembering the hotel. How he'd been close enough to feel her warmth through his shirt.

Focusing on unraveling part of the bandages, he steps between her knees, obviously hesitating. And then she's talking, asking him a question. Some of the tension breaks because clearly, she isn't dead. The first loop of gauze goes around her ribs and he holds it in place with one hand, keeping his fingers away from her skin. ]

Blue Swallow. [ A nicer place, close to the university district. The kind that even merchers would deign to be seen in. He isn't looking to seem respectable, he just hears it's a good place. And possibly less noisy than most of the establishments in the Barrel, which have a tendency towards raucous laughter and cramped spaces. ]

[ she remains still, her back straight. she allows her eyes to close at the feeling of the bandage; not out of nervousness, but to keep her focus. because this is difficult for her, too, and focusing on breathing, and kaz's voice, helps still the moment into something peaceful, rather than terrifying.

her head tilts slightly, at the news of what restaurant they were supposed to go to. ]

Expensive. [ that's the first thought that pops into her head, though it is true that it is less crowded than the barrel. probably, anyway. still, either kaz wants to go into the rich part of town because there's something to be won there, or he legitimately wanted to take her to a nice meal.

a year ago, inej would have thought it was the prior. now, inej is fairly certain it is the latter . . . or maybe both. she would not doubt both. ] Definitely not a late-night waffle stand.

[ which are clearly the best options in ketterdam, clearly. ]

Do they have a dress code?

[ it's half a joke. ]

[ He keeps checking her face, watching for any signs that she's too uncomfortable to keep going. Her bared ribs are being carefully covered, skin disappearing under the wraps. And he hasn't wanted to throw up yet. Not really. There's a nervous nausea at the back of his throat but their conversation helps. ]

I doubt they'd say anything if the wraith and Dirtyhands showed up however we liked. [ He finishes the coil of the bandage and secures it, fingers patting at the seams to make sure it lays flat. ] Not too tight?

[ she can feel when he's finished, at the gentle pat against her side, and inej blinks her eyes open fully, a quiet laugh escaping . . . both at finishing without incident, and at kaz's comment.

too true, that the merchers dining at the blue swallow would suddenly avoid looking at them both if they ever graced them with their presence. ]

No, it is fine. [ in assurance, allowing herself to lean forward slightly, bending just enough to test the tightness of the bandages. they held true, and she did feel better. a bit less sting, in her side. she allows her shirt to drop, but doesn't push kaz away or move, not quite yet. ] Thank you. It feels better.

[ Inej leans forward to test the tightness and he thinks maybe he should take a step back. But he doesn't and when she's sitting upright again, she stays where she is. Doesn't push him away.

He's tempted to lean in, to close the gap between them and kiss her. Like he'd come so close to doing before, lips just barely brushing against her neck. Instead, he pulls the edge of her shirt, tugging so it lays flatter. ]

I doubt anything will pick up until the afternoon tomorrow, if you want to get breakfast.

[ he hasn't moved.

it's this constant testing of boundaries, them. the push, and pull, and determining what is enough, and what is too much. but as he doesn't move, inej doesn't move closer. instead, she allows him to tug at the edge of her shirt, settling back on her hands easily, offering up a warm smile. ]

It's a deal.

[ after she steals out before he wakes up and gets his coat back, anyway. and her smile turns into a small grin, eyes bright. ]

I will even wear something other than the color black.

[ you know, to fit in. mark the occasion. or something. though she is still bringing the knives. ]

[ They've reached something like a balance here. A comfortable middle zone that doesn't have either of them pulling away. She smiles as she leans back and he returns it in his own way, the expression a bit faint on his mouth. ]

You don't have to. [ The Kerch wear plenty of black, after all. It's very business-like. And well: ] You, uh, look good in it.

[ Really she would look good in a canvas bag, but perhaps he's biased. Faintly embarrasses also, since he takes that opportunity to step away. He tries to convince himself it's more because his own injuries need to be cleaned off but—no, he's just trying not to think about how her legs look in those form fitting pants. ]

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