[ Inej tilts her head when he kisses her jaw, clearly indicating he can keep going if he wants. Which he doesn't hesitate to do, comfortable with this kind of contact. It's as they get more eager that they come closer to their respective boundaries.
Over the months, they've learned what that wall feels and looks like. Not only for themselves but for the other person as well. Inej goes still and tense, her gaze unfocused as a memory creeps up on her.
And he'll start to feel the creeping dread, clawing its way up his throat. Akin to the panic he'd felt when he thought he was going to drown. Both are clear stopping points that they're more than understanding of.
None of that is here right now, as he presses soft kisses along her jaw and lightly down her neck, right across her pulse point. He stops when he gets to the dip of her collarbone, pulling away to catch her gaze and make sure she's okay. And to affectionately tuck some of her hair behind her ear, from where it escaped earlier. ]
Likely to catch my cane if they did.
[ Only she's gotten to see him this undone. Jes comes closest, because he'd known Kaz when he was younger, nearly a different person and totally unconcerned with casual touch. ]
[ her lips curve upward into a faint smile, at the comment. kaz is faster than he looks, and she doesn't doubt he would crack someone over the head with the cane in a heartbeat if he really had to do so.
she's about to suggest tugging the robe a bit out of the way when kaz pauses, catching her gaze. her expression warms immediately, and once he tucks the piece of hair behind her ear, she turns her cheek just enough to kiss his hand. ]
[ She smiles and it reassures that she's currently in a good headspace. Not teetering on dipping into an old memory.
So far so good then. Which has become more frequent. At least at this early stage of trading kisses back and forth. Still, they've had enough moments where sometimes things start off wrong and they end up giving each other space. Either way, it makes him feel better to check. ]
How fine? [ He asks, the words murmured against her mouth as he leans in for a soft kiss. Because he has some ideas. ]
[ she thinks she's only had a panic attack in front of him once -- the night of the cross-examination, where she had held it together until she got into the car, and then felt like she couldn't breathe. tomassen had suggested taking her to the hospital, which gripped her with more terror. she had ultimately just been taken home, where she had remained trembling for what felt like hours.
it's really for that reason (hating feeling totally out of control of her senses) that inej has been relatively shy in intimacy. mostly because every single time it gets to a certain point, she feels the clawing sensation in her chest that threatens to cut off her breathing. she's slowly gotten better at it. not feeling nervous, at his hands on her neck, or holding her wrist.
all of that to say: ]
I am safe with you.
[ she murmurs, kissing the corner of his mouth. ]
You can loosen it, if you want. [ the robe. there's an odd tug of anxiety in her stomach, at the thought, but it doesn't feel the same as being afraid or scared. exciting, maybe? ] I think I will be fine.
[ Something inside him warms at her mentioning that she's safe with him. He wants nothing more than for her to feel comfortable in her skin; a feeling she was denied for too long.
She kisses the corner of his mouth and he chases it with another soft kiss, glad to be here with her. Though it's a mix of warm affection and a bit of a thrill when she says he can loosen the robe. ]
Let me know.
[ Which he trusts she will. But it's helpful to say it aloud, he thinks, reinforcing that this can stop at any point. Carefully, he tugs at the neckline of the robe, lengthening the "v" to show more of her chest. It gaps to just below her sternum, a line he dips his head to kiss along. Nudging the robe out of the way some more, he's nearly exposed the one side of her chest, part of it slipping off her small shoulder. He doesn't go further, not yet, simply brushing his lips along the newly showing skin. ]
[ the menagerie was always brutal. there was no softness or attention paid to how she felt. and while she tenses (slightly) at the loosening of the robe, it's quickly overridden by the gentle kiss to her chest. it's such a soft motion that it immediately relaxes her, the breath she didn't know she was holding exhaling in a soft laugh, surprised at herself for being okay. ]
This thing is so big.
[ she says in mild exasperation, shifting herself a bit to loosely run her fingers through his hair, her other hand settling at his neck. she makes no move to fix the robe, but she's certain she looks ridiculous. definitely not sexy, if that matters.
( does it matter? it probably should. oh well. )
so, because it is so big, she gently shrugs herself the rest of the way out of it, letting the robe settle around her hips. covering her lower half, but leaving her top half bare. it feels a little more comfortable, weirdly, than leaving it half on. or maybe it's because she did it herself.
her smile has turned a little nervous, almost shy. the scarring along her arm where she had the tattoo removed is apparent, now. and she has several more, scattered around. some on her arms, another near her upper ribs. clients that got too daring, fights that she couldn't avoid.
her fingers fiddle with the loose tie on the robe for half a moment. because this feels like something she can't really reverse, taking off her shirt. too late to go back now. and maybe it was a mistake, to do this - maybe she should have waited. and she's about to apologize before she says the first thing that pops into her head, which is: ]
It is like ripping off a bandage. Sometimes. The - all of it.
[ Not that he's judging. It's just a fact. She's short and has a compact frame—nearly everything is big on her. The robe being no exception. Though it's cute in a way, because it's so fluffy that it's nearly overwhelming. He's sure it's comfortable.
And really, he's about to ask if she's chilly at all, with her one shoulder exposed and her hair still damp. But then she's shrugging the entire top half of the robe off, fabric settling on her hips over the tie around her middle. Honestly, he doesn't mean to stare. But he does, surprised, at her suddenly letting the top drop off. There's still a lingering affection, mostly from that feeling of being trusted, but it's quickly taken over by a flush of heat that slides down his spine. For a few precious seconds he has to fight off the urge to roll them over and bury his face in her chest. It doesn't matter that she's small there as well. Just that it's Inej.
She fidgets and it brings his attention back, one hand moving to cover hers as his thumb strokes along the backs of her fingers. ]
This okay? [ All of this, right now. He can tell she's nervous because there's no taking this back. And maybe she's self conscious, because there are scars. Marks left by the cruel or those who simply didn't care. His other hand moves to trace the length of her collarbones and then down her chest, canting sideways to follow the slight curve of a breast. ]
[ the staring causes something uncomfortable in the back of her throat, but the tension is broken by the comment, and his touch. it causes a slight shiver to run through her being. she isn't sure if it's because of nerves, or because she's cold, or because the skin is sensitive. probably all of the above.
she runs her thumb over the back of his hand, leaning forward to tentatively press her lips against his cheek. testing whether or not she still feels warm and affectionate. turns out the answer is yes. ]
Mhm.
[ it's soft, kissing his temple. and she remains there for a moment, pausing, before exhaling: ]
[ It shows, her shiver, and he isn't sure either whether it's from the air or from anticipation. Or from the light touch. She doesn't freeze up though, leaning to kiss his cheek and then going further up to press her lips to his temple. It's both comforting and intimate, something they've been treading the line of. ]
Oh. [ Well. He can fix that. His palms rasp as he rubs his hands together, the friction causing more warmth to build. After a moment, he curls his fingers into his palms, letting them soak up the heat.
Then he's carefully touching again, drawing the tips of his fingers down her front before gently cupping a breast. Tipping his head, he kisses her jaw and the side of her neck, actually enjoying how close they are at the moment. ]
[ warming up his hands causes a slight grin, and she exhales a breathy laugh into his hair as he leans forward to kiss her neck. she slides her arms around his neck, nosing his temple as he gently touches.
it feels . . . nice. gentle, and warm. very unlike any other experience she has ever had with a man and no shirt on. it's just soft exploration, and inej knows that if she wants to stop, she can.
she doesn't particularly want to do so, though. ]
Much better.
[ she murmurs, letting her fingers loosely curl around the back of his neck. her fingers explore his shoulders briefly before shifting to rest her forehead against his. ]
[ Her laugh is infectious, making him smile against her neck. It makes him feel warm inside, similar to the kind when he first wakes up and sees her, especially if she's stayed in bed.
Happiness—or rather more than that. Something that's been on the tip of his tongue lately. ]
Yes. [ Absolutely yes. His hands drop as he curls his arms loosely around her middle, tugging her a bit closer for said hug. Having her hands on his shoulders only enhances the want to be close. Her fingers brushing along the skin feels good, tempting. ]
[ he tugs her closer, and she exhales slowly, tucking her face into his shoulder as she hugs him. he gives such excellent hugs. and she idly thinks that she's half naked (well, really, completely undressed) half-sitting in this boy's lap in shu han, all because he had decided to be kind all those months ago.
she had spent so long not being loved that inej was starting to doubt if she was capable of being loved. she had really given up, on anyone noticing her, or caring that she was hurt, or offering her help. and then it sort of fell in her lap, and she really has him to thank for it.
it causes her pause, and inej presses her lips gently against his shoulder, murmuring: ]
I love you.
[ it's such a simple thing, but no less meant. said easily, as she hugs him a little tighter. ]
[ His cheek presses to her hair when she tucks her face to his shoulder, a comfortable and familiar arrangement. Maybe it should feel weirder that they're doing this while they're half undressed, considering their histories, but it feels...fine. Normal. Welcomed, even.
Something he never thought he'd say about being in this close contact with someone. Sofia is probably the person that comes closest, but they've worked that out over a period of years. She remembers when he'd been worse, way worse, flinching when he had to shake someone's hand. He'd never said he was worried about never finding someone who understood, which had been true for the most part. But Sofia had occasionally mentioned it was possible he would. And that if he found the right person, he wouldn't be the same. He'd always figured it was because she and Tomassen were euphorically in love.
But as it turns out, she'd been right. Again.
Because while he's been hesitating on saying how he feels, it's been there. Under the surface, lingering. And now Inej says it clear as day, something that makes his stomach flip anxiously at first. He feels the same though. No doubt about it. ]
Love you too. [ It doesn't come as easily as her, rough on the edges of the syllables. He gives her a return squeeze all the same, an attempt to get his feelings across. ]
[ she can feel the awkward stumbling of the words in his posture, and so inej pulls away just enough so that her hands can find his face, thumbs running over his cheeks once before she leans forward to give him a kiss.
she still doesn't really know kaz's entire story. she knows enough to know that all of this is difficult, and that he hates touch. she knows that tomassen and sofia have a particular hatred of pekka rollins that surpasses most people's hatred of that vile man. likely because of what he did to kaz.
still. he doesn't need to say it in order for her to feel his love every single day. and how he uprooted his own life to follow her, and be with her. that matters more than a few silly words. ]
I know.
[ she says quietly, eyes bright, pulling away just enough to speak before tipping forward to kiss him again, fingertips resting lightly at his temples. ]
[ As she leans forward to kiss him, he tilts his head to meet her. It's such a small thing but he's still so glad they've been able to do this fairly regularly. Seems like ever since that fated New Year's party, which had certainly gone much further than either of them had anticipated.
So of course he doesn't pull away when she kisses him again. In fact, he thinks he could use at least a few more. ]
I can show you some more then, huh? [ He grins, hands resting on her waist to give her another squeeze. ]
[ his grin is intoxicating, and it really isn't fair. she feels herself buy into whatever he is saying whenever he does it in her vague direction. his hands on her waist feel warm, and she shifts a bit forward so she can sit a bit more into his lap. the robe comes with her, still covering her lower half, and she slides her arms around his neck, matching his grin with one of her own. ]
You can.
[ with a soft hum, as if she's agreeing to something that she could pass on, if she really wanted. ]
We are on vacation.
[ as she leans forward to kiss him a bit less gently than she had before, murmuring: ]
I think doing this was first on our itinerary anyway.
[ Inej shifts her weight, settling into his lap some more. Her robe still keeps her covered from the waist down, probably for the best of them both. But it's still a small distraction at the back of his mind, thinking how there's only a small barrier. Both enticing and anxiety inducing.
The way she slips her arms around his neck and grins at him, though, serves as a good distraction. As well as the kiss that follows soon on the heels of her words. Definitely less soft and careful than the ones they've been trading back and forth. ]
That sounds right.
[ And even if it isn't, it's what they're up to now. He follows up with another kiss, deeper this time, hands slowly tracing up her ribs and around her back, careful with his touch. ]
[ she makes a soft noise of approval, at his fingers gently wandering around her back. it feels . . . wonderful, really, and inej grins a little into the kiss. ]
Does it?
[ she murmurs, briefly catching his bottom lip in her teeth, impulsively, before she kisses his cheek, then just by his ear. ]
[ That little approving noise races straight through to his gut and warming him through. It's immensely satisfying.
And it's compounded by how she bites at his lower lip, leaving a sort of tingling feeling behind. ]
You feel nice. [ Probably not the best way to say that. But she does, with the way her weight is settled across his lap. And how warm she is under his hands. Which he keeps carefully moving along her back, fingers tracing down the slope of her spine. He leans in to kiss her neck, soft at first and then with a little more intent to leave a mark. ]
[ she learned very quickly that she deeply enjoys kisses to her neck. sometimes, it can be too much - the pressure against her neck can feel like pressure against her throat, which feels too aggressive, for her liking. but the sucking against her neck causes a slight shudder in her breath as she exhales into a laugh. ]
I feel nice?
[ she asks quietly, amused as she tilts her head back, to give him a little more room. it doesn't give her much opportunity to kiss him in return, but he seems to be enjoying himself. and she is definitely enjoying his ministrations. ]
[ He likes leaving a bit of a mark on her neck, almost as much as he likes it when she does the same for him. Of course he's found he likes it when she's a little rougher over all. ]
Yes. [ It's murmured against her neck and he feels a slow flush in his cheeks. ] I like it when you're on my lap.
[ He says as pulls away to be able to look at her. Which gives him another opportunity for a kiss. His hands slide up to her shoulders and along her arms as he kisses her, dropping to carefully palm both of her breasts. ]
[ which sounds more lewd than it is, but inej winds up in his lap more often than not when they're relaxing on the couch. he tends to tug her closer, liking wrapping his arms around her to watch television. for someone who initially loathed being touched, he's certainly decided he likes touching her. which inej doesn't mind in the least, because it's him.
she exhales into the kiss at the more firm touch to her chest. everything feels hypersensitive, from a combination of nerves and want. there's a tiny tug of anxiety, in the back of her mind, at the more aggressive touch - not that kaz is being anything but gentle and careful, but it feels a bit more than before.
still, she feels safe. comfortable. and her therapist has told her, over and over, that there would be good days and bad days, and to take advantage of the good days, and to be gentle with herself on the bad days. besides, she deserves the ability to enjoy this. and learning how to enjoy it. doesn't she? ]
What if . . . [ she murmurs against his lips, kissing the corner of his mouth before shifting to kiss his jawline, edging toward his neck. ] We just skip breakfast, and exploring the gardens, and spend our entire vacation in bed.
[ Truthfully, he feels he got used to being close to her much quicker than he would've expected. Probably due to her living in his space. And well, there was a relief, of sorts, in knowing she would understand if he needed to back away when a bad memory cropped up.
There's also plenty of touching with their clothes on. Not even in a salacious way; when she's sitting in his lap on the couch or when he catches her making something in the kitchen, he likes to hug her around the middle, chin propped on top of her head. Slowly but surely they've been getting used to touching bare skin.
Like now, careful and steady, gentle as possible. She exhales against his mouth, a positive sounding thing, as he touches her chest. He swipes his thumbs lightly across each breast, ghosting over her nipples. ]
Mm. [ She kisses the corner of his mouth and works her way down, a pleased hum bubbling up as he feels her going towards his neck. ] You get to explain to Sofia why we don't have pictures, then.
[ Not that he exactly sounds like he's against this idea. ]
[ she says with a quiet laugh, dipping her head a little to press a gentle kiss against his neck. not leaving marks, just yet. she grins a little, at the feeling of his thumbs brushing over her nipples, the sensitivity growing. it feels good, a thought she punctuates by pressing another kiss against his neck. ]
They may not be parent appropriate, though.
[ unfortunate, really. but, as inej settles her weight a little more squarely in his lap, so she can continue to slowly kiss a spot on his neck that she knows is sensitive: ]
We can go to a nice dinner and take pictures there.
[ there, a compromise, to keep his mother happy. ]
[ He feels her smile against his neck, causing him to grin in turn. There's a low level of giddiness in his veins, threatening to bubble over. Not only from the trial being over but being here with her, uninterrupted by work or errands or school. He's just happy to spend time with her, even if they don't always talk about much. He thinks she might prefer that, not having chatter filling up every second and space. ]
They definitely won't be. [ At least not any of the ones he currently has a mind of taking. Maybe one of her in this fluffy robe.
The more insistent press of her mouth takes his mind off it and he lets out a soft groan, swiping his thumbs across her chest again. Slowly, he draws circles around her nipples and spreads his fingers to trace the bare indentations of her ribs. ]
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no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 02:02 am (UTC)Over the months, they've learned what that wall feels and looks like. Not only for themselves but for the other person as well. Inej goes still and tense, her gaze unfocused as a memory creeps up on her.
And he'll start to feel the creeping dread, clawing its way up his throat. Akin to the panic he'd felt when he thought he was going to drown. Both are clear stopping points that they're more than understanding of.
None of that is here right now, as he presses soft kisses along her jaw and lightly down her neck, right across her pulse point. He stops when he gets to the dip of her collarbone, pulling away to catch her gaze and make sure she's okay. And to affectionately tuck some of her hair behind her ear, from where it escaped earlier. ]
Likely to catch my cane if they did.
[ Only she's gotten to see him this undone. Jes comes closest, because he'd known Kaz when he was younger, nearly a different person and totally unconcerned with casual touch. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 03:43 am (UTC)she's about to suggest tugging the robe a bit out of the way when kaz pauses, catching her gaze. her expression warms immediately, and once he tucks the piece of hair behind her ear, she turns her cheek just enough to kiss his hand. ]
I am fine.
[ it helps, she finds, to say it out loud. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 02:04 pm (UTC)So far so good then. Which has become more frequent. At least at this early stage of trading kisses back and forth. Still, they've had enough moments where sometimes things start off wrong and they end up giving each other space. Either way, it makes him feel better to check. ]
How fine? [ He asks, the words murmured against her mouth as he leans in for a soft kiss. Because he has some ideas. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 05:21 pm (UTC)it's really for that reason (hating feeling totally out of control of her senses) that inej has been relatively shy in intimacy. mostly because every single time it gets to a certain point, she feels the clawing sensation in her chest that threatens to cut off her breathing. she's slowly gotten better at it. not feeling nervous, at his hands on her neck, or holding her wrist.
all of that to say: ]
I am safe with you.
[ she murmurs, kissing the corner of his mouth. ]
You can loosen it, if you want. [ the robe. there's an odd tug of anxiety in her stomach, at the thought, but it doesn't feel the same as being afraid or scared. exciting, maybe? ] I think I will be fine.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 08:26 pm (UTC)She kisses the corner of his mouth and he chases it with another soft kiss, glad to be here with her. Though it's a mix of warm affection and a bit of a thrill when she says he can loosen the robe. ]
Let me know.
[ Which he trusts she will. But it's helpful to say it aloud, he thinks, reinforcing that this can stop at any point. Carefully, he tugs at the neckline of the robe, lengthening the "v" to show more of her chest. It gaps to just below her sternum, a line he dips his head to kiss along. Nudging the robe out of the way some more, he's nearly exposed the one side of her chest, part of it slipping off her small shoulder. He doesn't go further, not yet, simply brushing his lips along the newly showing skin. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 10:34 pm (UTC)This thing is so big.
[ she says in mild exasperation, shifting herself a bit to loosely run her fingers through his hair, her other hand settling at his neck. she makes no move to fix the robe, but she's certain she looks ridiculous. definitely not sexy, if that matters.
( does it matter? it probably should. oh well. )
so, because it is so big, she gently shrugs herself the rest of the way out of it, letting the robe settle around her hips. covering her lower half, but leaving her top half bare. it feels a little more comfortable, weirdly, than leaving it half on. or maybe it's because she did it herself.
her smile has turned a little nervous, almost shy. the scarring along her arm where she had the tattoo removed is apparent, now. and she has several more, scattered around. some on her arms, another near her upper ribs. clients that got too daring, fights that she couldn't avoid.
her fingers fiddle with the loose tie on the robe for half a moment. because this feels like something she can't really reverse, taking off her shirt. too late to go back now. and maybe it was a mistake, to do this - maybe she should have waited. and she's about to apologize before she says the first thing that pops into her head, which is: ]
It is like ripping off a bandage. Sometimes. The - all of it.
[ way to ruin the moment, inej. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-25 10:54 pm (UTC)[ Not that he's judging. It's just a fact. She's short and has a compact frame—nearly everything is big on her. The robe being no exception. Though it's cute in a way, because it's so fluffy that it's nearly overwhelming. He's sure it's comfortable.
And really, he's about to ask if she's chilly at all, with her one shoulder exposed and her hair still damp. But then she's shrugging the entire top half of the robe off, fabric settling on her hips over the tie around her middle. Honestly, he doesn't mean to stare. But he does, surprised, at her suddenly letting the top drop off. There's still a lingering affection, mostly from that feeling of being trusted, but it's quickly taken over by a flush of heat that slides down his spine. For a few precious seconds he has to fight off the urge to roll them over and bury his face in her chest. It doesn't matter that she's small there as well. Just that it's Inej.
She fidgets and it brings his attention back, one hand moving to cover hers as his thumb strokes along the backs of her fingers. ]
This okay? [ All of this, right now. He can tell she's nervous because there's no taking this back. And maybe she's self conscious, because there are scars. Marks left by the cruel or those who simply didn't care. His other hand moves to trace the length of her collarbones and then down her chest, canting sideways to follow the slight curve of a breast. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 02:23 am (UTC)she runs her thumb over the back of his hand, leaning forward to tentatively press her lips against his cheek. testing whether or not she still feels warm and affectionate. turns out the answer is yes. ]
Mhm.
[ it's soft, kissing his temple. and she remains there for a moment, pausing, before exhaling: ]
Your hands are cold.
[ which, in retrospect, how rude. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 10:45 am (UTC)Oh. [ Well. He can fix that. His palms rasp as he rubs his hands together, the friction causing more warmth to build. After a moment, he curls his fingers into his palms, letting them soak up the heat.
Then he's carefully touching again, drawing the tips of his fingers down her front before gently cupping a breast. Tipping his head, he kisses her jaw and the side of her neck, actually enjoying how close they are at the moment. ]
Better?
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 05:02 pm (UTC)it feels . . . nice. gentle, and warm. very unlike any other experience she has ever had with a man and no shirt on. it's just soft exploration, and inej knows that if she wants to stop, she can.
she doesn't particularly want to do so, though. ]
Much better.
[ she murmurs, letting her fingers loosely curl around the back of his neck. her fingers explore his shoulders briefly before shifting to rest her forehead against his. ]
Can I hug you?
[ it's asked quietly. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 07:15 pm (UTC)Happiness—or rather more than that. Something that's been on the tip of his tongue lately. ]
Yes. [ Absolutely yes. His hands drop as he curls his arms loosely around her middle, tugging her a bit closer for said hug. Having her hands on his shoulders only enhances the want to be close. Her fingers brushing along the skin feels good, tempting. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 07:59 pm (UTC)she had spent so long not being loved that inej was starting to doubt if she was capable of being loved. she had really given up, on anyone noticing her, or caring that she was hurt, or offering her help. and then it sort of fell in her lap, and she really has him to thank for it.
it causes her pause, and inej presses her lips gently against his shoulder, murmuring: ]
I love you.
[ it's such a simple thing, but no less meant. said easily, as she hugs him a little tighter. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 08:49 pm (UTC)Something he never thought he'd say about being in this close contact with someone. Sofia is probably the person that comes closest, but they've worked that out over a period of years. She remembers when he'd been worse, way worse, flinching when he had to shake someone's hand. He'd never said he was worried about never finding someone who understood, which had been true for the most part. But Sofia had occasionally mentioned it was possible he would. And that if he found the right person, he wouldn't be the same. He'd always figured it was because she and Tomassen were euphorically in love.
But as it turns out, she'd been right. Again.
Because while he's been hesitating on saying how he feels, it's been there. Under the surface, lingering. And now Inej says it clear as day, something that makes his stomach flip anxiously at first. He feels the same though. No doubt about it. ]
Love you too. [ It doesn't come as easily as her, rough on the edges of the syllables. He gives her a return squeeze all the same, an attempt to get his feelings across. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-26 09:59 pm (UTC)she still doesn't really know kaz's entire story. she knows enough to know that all of this is difficult, and that he hates touch. she knows that tomassen and sofia have a particular hatred of pekka rollins that surpasses most people's hatred of that vile man. likely because of what he did to kaz.
still. he doesn't need to say it in order for her to feel his love every single day. and how he uprooted his own life to follow her, and be with her. that matters more than a few silly words. ]
I know.
[ she says quietly, eyes bright, pulling away just enough to speak before tipping forward to kiss him again, fingertips resting lightly at his temples. ]
You show me every day.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-27 11:28 pm (UTC)So of course he doesn't pull away when she kisses him again. In fact, he thinks he could use at least a few more. ]
I can show you some more then, huh? [ He grins, hands resting on her waist to give her another squeeze. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-28 12:47 am (UTC)You can.
[ with a soft hum, as if she's agreeing to something that she could pass on, if she really wanted. ]
We are on vacation.
[ as she leans forward to kiss him a bit less gently than she had before, murmuring: ]
I think doing this was first on our itinerary anyway.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-28 01:21 am (UTC)The way she slips her arms around his neck and grins at him, though, serves as a good distraction. As well as the kiss that follows soon on the heels of her words. Definitely less soft and careful than the ones they've been trading back and forth. ]
That sounds right.
[ And even if it isn't, it's what they're up to now. He follows up with another kiss, deeper this time, hands slowly tracing up her ribs and around her back, careful with his touch. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-28 02:09 am (UTC)Does it?
[ she murmurs, briefly catching his bottom lip in her teeth, impulsively, before she kisses his cheek, then just by his ear. ]
Your hands feel nice.
[ in case he wanted feedback. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-28 02:41 am (UTC)And it's compounded by how she bites at his lower lip, leaving a sort of tingling feeling behind. ]
You feel nice. [ Probably not the best way to say that. But she does, with the way her weight is settled across his lap. And how warm she is under his hands. Which he keeps carefully moving along her back, fingers tracing down the slope of her spine. He leans in to kiss her neck, soft at first and then with a little more intent to leave a mark. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-28 03:09 am (UTC)I feel nice?
[ she asks quietly, amused as she tilts her head back, to give him a little more room. it doesn't give her much opportunity to kiss him in return, but he seems to be enjoying himself. and she is definitely enjoying his ministrations. ]
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Date: 2020-11-28 03:48 am (UTC)Yes. [ It's murmured against her neck and he feels a slow flush in his cheeks. ] I like it when you're on my lap.
[ He says as pulls away to be able to look at her. Which gives him another opportunity for a kiss. His hands slide up to her shoulders and along her arms as he kisses her, dropping to carefully palm both of her breasts. ]
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Date: 2020-11-28 05:54 pm (UTC)[ which sounds more lewd than it is, but inej winds up in his lap more often than not when they're relaxing on the couch. he tends to tug her closer, liking wrapping his arms around her to watch television. for someone who initially loathed being touched, he's certainly decided he likes touching her. which inej doesn't mind in the least, because it's him.
she exhales into the kiss at the more firm touch to her chest. everything feels hypersensitive, from a combination of nerves and want. there's a tiny tug of anxiety, in the back of her mind, at the more aggressive touch - not that kaz is being anything but gentle and careful, but it feels a bit more than before.
still, she feels safe. comfortable. and her therapist has told her, over and over, that there would be good days and bad days, and to take advantage of the good days, and to be gentle with herself on the bad days. besides, she deserves the ability to enjoy this. and learning how to enjoy it. doesn't she? ]
What if . . . [ she murmurs against his lips, kissing the corner of his mouth before shifting to kiss his jawline, edging toward his neck. ] We just skip breakfast, and exploring the gardens, and spend our entire vacation in bed.
[ in this moment, it sounds absolutely divine. ]
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Date: 2020-11-28 06:24 pm (UTC)There's also plenty of touching with their clothes on. Not even in a salacious way; when she's sitting in his lap on the couch or when he catches her making something in the kitchen, he likes to hug her around the middle, chin propped on top of her head. Slowly but surely they've been getting used to touching bare skin.
Like now, careful and steady, gentle as possible. She exhales against his mouth, a positive sounding thing, as he touches her chest. He swipes his thumbs lightly across each breast, ghosting over her nipples. ]
Mm. [ She kisses the corner of his mouth and works her way down, a pleased hum bubbling up as he feels her going towards his neck. ] You get to explain to Sofia why we don't have pictures, then.
[ Not that he exactly sounds like he's against this idea. ]
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Date: 2020-11-28 06:41 pm (UTC)[ she says with a quiet laugh, dipping her head a little to press a gentle kiss against his neck. not leaving marks, just yet. she grins a little, at the feeling of his thumbs brushing over her nipples, the sensitivity growing. it feels good, a thought she punctuates by pressing another kiss against his neck. ]
They may not be parent appropriate, though.
[ unfortunate, really. but, as inej settles her weight a little more squarely in his lap, so she can continue to slowly kiss a spot on his neck that she knows is sensitive: ]
We can go to a nice dinner and take pictures there.
[ there, a compromise, to keep his mother happy. ]
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Date: 2020-11-28 06:59 pm (UTC)They definitely won't be. [ At least not any of the ones he currently has a mind of taking. Maybe one of her in this fluffy robe.
The more insistent press of her mouth takes his mind off it and he lets out a soft groan, swiping his thumbs across her chest again. Slowly, he draws circles around her nipples and spreads his fingers to trace the bare indentations of her ribs. ]
We've got time to plan our strategic photos.
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