[ the warning is heard loud and clear, and inej purses her lips together. there is a pecking order, in this life, and inej has no problem lying through her teeth in order to survive. she's done so until today, and she'll likely continue to do so tomorrow. but she has little patience, for people who take credit for things that aren't their own.
it's clear, even after a week, that the dregs see kaz as the one in charge. haskell is the one who signs the checks, which carries its own power. but they don't fear him, like they fear kaz. and fear can sometimes turn into respect.
she lets her eyes flicker toward kaz as he stretches, lost in thought at his statement. her eyes land on his rolled up sleeves, showing a tattoo - the symbol of the dregs, she assumes. the thought of getting another tattoo turns her stomach, an icy feeling working its way through her veins.
she had had to be held down, for the peacock feather on her forearm. it still turns her stomach, whenever she looks at it.
but, more importantly, are the words along his wrist that peak through as the leather of his gloves shift. plain as day, i can help you. a confirmation of what she already knew, and she self-consciously tugs her sleeve straighter on her arm, to make sure her wrist is covered.
she had prayed for a way out, and the saints provided. it must be fate, her being here. and her destiny is intertwined with the boy at the desk filling in a spreadsheet of his own design, keeping track of profit margins that made absolutely no sense to her.
was this the entire reason why she was stolen? to wind up here, to meet him? was there really a purpose to the nightmare of the menagerie, or was she just lucky? ]
Most people don't notice that I exist.
[ she says finally, letting her eyes move back toward the crow in the window. ignore it, inej. ]
I doubt he'll remember my name, just the total at the end of the bill.
[ She goes silent for a bit and he leaves her to her thoughts, working on getting the ledgers all straightened out. The information is there, so it's not like he has to go look for missing data, but it's also a scribbled mess. He has half a mind to find out who was keeping tabs last night to tell them to stop rushing through their numbers.
Questionable legibility aside, it's all resolving neatly. Not rare, really, but still nice to see. ]
He'll remember—you're tied to me now. [ For good and for bad. ] Might act like he doesn't remember to get a rise out, though.
[ An infuriating trait. ]
Do you want to be noticed? [ Kaz glances up from his work, pen paused over the next line. The thought occurs that despite how thin she is and how much she's gone through, she still sits straight. There's grace, under it all. ]
[ saints, she needs to change the subject from them into literally anything else, because her heart skips a beat that tied to me now. and per haskell pretending not to know otherwise. how could haskell know? kaz doesn't strike her as the person to really share that type of thing, unless --
does he seriously not know? how could he not know. was he that unobservant? did he just not remember? or was he actually an idiot?
thankfully, kaz asks a question, and inej blinks, refocusing herself on the conversation, the question giving her pause. it's a decent question, given how quiet she is and how out of the way she tends to make herself.
despite that, inej finds that no isn't the answer to his question. ]
I would like people to notice Inej, not the body standing there.
[ Her answer makes sense—he knows the girls at the Menagerie go by nicknames. No, that's not right, it's more like they go by labels. Exotic animals. Or characterized by a physical trait. It makes his skin crawl, thinking of it.
So of course she'd want to be known by her name and not by the fact that she was some Suli girl with nice hair. Honestly, it would've made sense if she wanted to be invisible, to never have people gaze at her like they had under Tante Heleen's roof. ]
Once they see you around more, they'll start asking. [ The Dregs, that is. A decent amount of them would've introduced themselves already, if they hadn't been so afraid of pissing him off somehow. ]
[ the thought is encouraging. and kaz seems to understand what she's saying without inej specifically saying it, which is also a relief. she appreciates the response, anyway. no prying, just an understanding. ]
They all seem nosy.
[ she agrees, her tone a little wry as she returns to looking out the window. the crow is still sitting there expectantly, as if inej miraculously found food without moving an inch from the view. ]
Though some of them might find 'Inej Ghafa' a mouthful.
[ some of the men in the hall were not exceptionally bright, judging from the conversations inej eavesdropped on while kaz was busy elsewhere. ]
They are nosy. You can probably get away with telling them to mind their business.
[ For some, just knowing she's somehow close to him will be enough to warn them away from asking too many personal questions. For others, they've got their own pasts they'd rather not dredge up, so they won't ask about hers. So long as she does the work, it won't really matter where she came from. ]
They usually make up for it elsewhere. [ Being good at dealing or looking scary counted as useful around here. If nothing else, it's one more hand to help clean off tables or sweep floors. ]
[ she thinks she'll enjoy just being inej, for awhile. nicknames weren't really something she enjoyed. or maybe she was just drawing a poor connection to being heleen's little lynx.
her mouth curves upward, a faint smile, as she reaches out her hand toward the crow again. ]
Hope it isn't as dramatic as Dirtyhands.
[ she must be feeling better, if she's capable of half a joke. ]
[ That's how they entertain themselves, after all. Telling and re-telling stories enough that they become akin to legends. And a moniker is born, something to attribute the stories to, an alternate version of the person.
For him, it's a useful mask to uphold. It's layers of deceit so no one can ever find out how pathetic he'd been.
Or how he still feels that way in the middle of the night sometimes, when a dream feels too real. ]
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no subject
Date: 2020-12-28 11:31 pm (UTC)it's clear, even after a week, that the dregs see kaz as the one in charge. haskell is the one who signs the checks, which carries its own power. but they don't fear him, like they fear kaz. and fear can sometimes turn into respect.
she lets her eyes flicker toward kaz as he stretches, lost in thought at his statement. her eyes land on his rolled up sleeves, showing a tattoo - the symbol of the dregs, she assumes. the thought of getting another tattoo turns her stomach, an icy feeling working its way through her veins.
she had had to be held down, for the peacock feather on her forearm. it still turns her stomach, whenever she looks at it.
but, more importantly, are the words along his wrist that peak through as the leather of his gloves shift. plain as day, i can help you. a confirmation of what she already knew, and she self-consciously tugs her sleeve straighter on her arm, to make sure her wrist is covered.
she had prayed for a way out, and the saints provided. it must be fate, her being here. and her destiny is intertwined with the boy at the desk filling in a spreadsheet of his own design, keeping track of profit margins that made absolutely no sense to her.
was this the entire reason why she was stolen? to wind up here, to meet him? was there really a purpose to the nightmare of the menagerie, or was she just lucky? ]
Most people don't notice that I exist.
[ she says finally, letting her eyes move back toward the crow in the window. ignore it, inej. ]
I doubt he'll remember my name, just the total at the end of the bill.
[ which suits her just fine. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-28 11:57 pm (UTC)Questionable legibility aside, it's all resolving neatly. Not rare, really, but still nice to see. ]
He'll remember—you're tied to me now. [ For good and for bad. ] Might act like he doesn't remember to get a rise out, though.
[ An infuriating trait. ]
Do you want to be noticed? [ Kaz glances up from his work, pen paused over the next line. The thought occurs that despite how thin she is and how much she's gone through, she still sits straight. There's grace, under it all. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 12:09 am (UTC)does he seriously not know? how could he not know. was he that unobservant? did he just not remember? or was he actually an idiot?
thankfully, kaz asks a question, and inej blinks, refocusing herself on the conversation, the question giving her pause. it's a decent question, given how quiet she is and how out of the way she tends to make herself.
despite that, inej finds that no isn't the answer to his question. ]
I would like people to notice Inej, not the body standing there.
[ with a shrug of her thin shoulders. ]
So knowing my name would be a decent start.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 12:48 am (UTC)So of course she'd want to be known by her name and not by the fact that she was some Suli girl with nice hair. Honestly, it would've made sense if she wanted to be invisible, to never have people gaze at her like they had under Tante Heleen's roof. ]
Once they see you around more, they'll start asking. [ The Dregs, that is. A decent amount of them would've introduced themselves already, if they hadn't been so afraid of pissing him off somehow. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 01:11 am (UTC)They all seem nosy.
[ she agrees, her tone a little wry as she returns to looking out the window. the crow is still sitting there expectantly, as if inej miraculously found food without moving an inch from the view. ]
Though some of them might find 'Inej Ghafa' a mouthful.
[ some of the men in the hall were not exceptionally bright, judging from the conversations inej eavesdropped on while kaz was busy elsewhere. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 01:37 am (UTC)[ For some, just knowing she's somehow close to him will be enough to warn them away from asking too many personal questions. For others, they've got their own pasts they'd rather not dredge up, so they won't ask about hers. So long as she does the work, it won't really matter where she came from. ]
They usually make up for it elsewhere. [ Being good at dealing or looking scary counted as useful around here. If nothing else, it's one more hand to help clean off tables or sweep floors. ]
You might get a nickname, though.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 02:05 am (UTC)her mouth curves upward, a faint smile, as she reaches out her hand toward the crow again. ]
Hope it isn't as dramatic as Dirtyhands.
[ she must be feeling better, if she's capable of half a joke. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 02:16 am (UTC)[ That's how they entertain themselves, after all. Telling and re-telling stories enough that they become akin to legends. And a moniker is born, something to attribute the stories to, an alternate version of the person.
For him, it's a useful mask to uphold. It's layers of deceit so no one can ever find out how pathetic he'd been.
Or how he still feels that way in the middle of the night sometimes, when a dream feels too real. ]