[ At that, he settles back in his seat, unfolding the wrapping from his waffle. ]
It's not going to bite.
[ Not if she didn't want it to, anyway. And somehow he doubts she'll decide to pull it on him, even if she would technically have an opening to do so in here.
But as she said, they're basically in this together. He's tied to her contract just as much as she is, since he'd put his neck on the line for her possibility of freedom. It was going to be work for them both to get her enough money to pay it off, but it was certainly a better deal than the one Heleen had forced her into. The one she couldn't even read as it had been in Kerch.
This one she had been able to read. And could always go back to read again, if she was worried about terms changing. He doesn't think Haskell will, though. As long as the old man gets his kruge, he'll be happy. ]
[ she still seems a little puzzled, at that, but she does set her wrapped waffle back on his desk in exchange for the box. her fingers slide underneath the paper, undoing it neatly. clearly not one to mindlessly tear open presents, but carefully dismantle them to save the paper.
as she unfolds the wrapping to reveal a wooden box, she opens it to reveal a knife. the craftsmanship is beautiful, the blade easily able to fit in her smaller hands. the handle looks like it would fit perfectly against her palm. but she doesn't remove it, quite yet.
not every act of kindness is a trick, inej. but: ]
I cannot afford this.
[ she says quietly, eyes flickering back up to meet his. and while she doesn't say it, the meaning in her eyes is fairly clear. she won't have another dime added to her tab to work off; whatever she has, she'll pay for herself. ]
[ She looks confused. Maybe a little concerned. It makes sense, Heleen isn't known to be gracious or generous, not unless it's with her temper or beatings. He slowly starts in on his waffle as she carefully opens the wrapping and then the box, not wanting her to feel like he's staring her down while she does.
There's a pause after she lifts the lid off the box, as though she isn't sure what to do with it. ]
You should have your own means of defense. It won't go on your contract.
[ Keeping herself alive is payment enough, right? It would be stupid to buy out her contract and then never give her any of the tools with which to make it in the Barrel. He'd told Haskell she'd be a great spider and that's what he'll get. That's what they'll all get. She already has a reputation because she's been around him, but he knows she'll have her own. One like his, armor to pull on—no one will want to touch her again.
[ it won't go on your contract, which meant . . . he was giving her a gift?
her first instinct is to not trust it, but common sense overrides the paranoia almost immediately. kaz brekker was an arrogant brat on most days, but not one to lie to her. or hold something over her head, or expect anything more of her than what was already in their deal. so - if he says it won't go on the contract, then it won't.
so she wraps her fingers around the handle experimentally, lifting the knife out of the box. it's light, and she can tell it's perfectly balanced even without removing the blade from the sheath. it's beautiful, in a bizarre way. she never thought she would think that of a knife.
for the first time in what feels like years, a genuine smile curves her lips as she looks up at him again, clearly appreciative. ]
[ She can call it a gift but really, it's just practical. For them both.
Still, his gaze flicks up as she takes the knife out of the box, her grip sure but almost reverent. There's a tip of her hand as she tests the balance of it. The handle fits well, small enough for her to grip but big enough it won't cramp her hand or slip.
Maybe the bone handle is a little morbid, but it felt fitting, somehow.
When she looks up, he catches her gaze, feeling a wash of warmth when she smiles. It isn't one of her small ones, the rare times he's seen one ghosting on her mouth. This one is wider, genuine, and it lights up her whole face. ]
Can't have you using a toothpick for a knife.
[ Not like the pocket knife she'd been using occasionally. ]
[ belatedly, she's glad she made the trip to the lid to get the waffles. it pales in comparison to the knife, but at least the token of appreciation was given.
she unsheathes the knife, the glint of the blade pristine. it's sharp, the silvery blade perfectly suited against the white-bone of the handle. she can nearly see her reflection in the metal.
inej sheaths the blade again, her smile still on her features before she carefully sets it back in the box, mindful not to scuff anything. sometimes, inej wondered whether the words on her wrist were a blessing or a curse. there were days where she was certain kaz hated her. but there was some good in there, underneath whatever harmed him. little bits of light, peeking through the forced darkness.
today is a good day. an excellent one, really.
she sets the box back on his desk so she could get her waffle, to join him in dinner. she's reluctant to let go of the blade, but it seems silly to let her dinner get cold. especially after the journey she took to go get it. ]
[ She takes a few more moments to study the craftsmanship, unsheathing the blade and checking the metal. There's still a smile on her face, features lighting up in a way that...well, improves his mood, somewhat. He tries not to think about it.
The knife gets sheathed once more and she sets the blade back into its box with care. ]
Found it. [ And he'd honestly been a little surprised to find something that had such perfect proportions for her. Small enough to be hidden easily, sharp enough to get any job done. Because he had wanted assurance that when she stuck someone, it wasn't going to be like hacking away. A dull knife is a painful way to go but slow and useless in a fight.
He settles in with his waffles as well, leaning forward in his chair so he doesn't drop anything. ]
The shopkeep mentioned it should go to someone who knew how to use it.
[ well. she does know how to do that, at the very least. and as she takes another bite of her waffle, inej falls into silence to mull that over. that she can now be considered dangerous, which is an odd thing to label herself as.
she never really thought of herself as dangerous before. too small and lithe and fragile. not anymore, with slowly building her muscle back, feeling stronger than she has in years.
she wonders what heleen would say if she saw her now. ]
When am I going to go with you on a job?
[ she asks idly, taking another bite of her waffle. it's something that causes her anxiety, because while she knows how to use the knife, she isn't so sure she can. but there's plenty to be done, without killing someone. or hurting them in any way. she can be useful without that.
[ He doesn't have an exact timeline, not yet. A strange thing for him, though not totally uncommon. Sometimes in the Barrel, one had to wait for pieces to fit together. And right now, he was in one of those moments of limbo.
It's fine, he's a patient person. Though, he understands her anxiety around going out and doing an actual job that didn't just involve sneaking and listening. ]
If things fall into place right, about two days, give or take. So eager to stick someone?
[ She doesn't seem to be, but maybe the comment will lighten the mood. Maybe. It probably came out more serious than he meant. ]
[ it's said with certainty, her eyes flickering away from his face back to her waffle, which she picks at, a slight frown appearing on her features.
killing someone is going to happen. she's no fool. that's what's expected of her, in part. but most of her job is to collect secrets, lies, and pass them on to kaz. if she has to kill someone, she would only do so in self-defense. or to save someone else. never affirmatively.
she can keep at least that shred of morality, with everything else sacrificed. ]
I would rather jump than wait.
[ ripping off the bandage would be easier than tip-toeing around the inevitable of having to participate in dreg business. two days gives her time to prepare, if nothing but mentally. ]
[ Well, the humor didn't quite land. As he expected. Jesper is better at that sort of thing. Meaning: people. He's better at people.
Though strangely, he feels weird about having made her frown, the comment clearly a bit upsetting. It's never mattered before, so why does it matter now? He mentally shakes that off, focusing instead on his dinner and her follow up. ]
You'll get your chance. [ And: ] No one will hear you coming.
[ He'll be shocked, honestly shocked, if they do. ]
[ it feels wrong, to discuss something that as if she was looking forward to it. which she is, in a way. of just getting it over with. but mostly, inej is tired of being left behind while the others (who are slowly but surely becoming her friends) go off to risk their lives for . . . whatever it is that kaz brekker has dreamt up that evening.
she's beyond tired of feeling like she needs protecting.
she picks at her waffle a bit more, letting his words wash over her, before inej elects to change the subject. ]
I do not taste the difference, between these and the ones down the street.
[ she says, as she bites into her waffle. ]
Seems as if it is not worth the walk.
[ she might be goading an argument. a non-serious one, really. it's clear by the look in her eyes that she's joking. ]
[ Her frown remains, the slightest downturn of her mouth at the corners. Talking about inflicting pain or even murdering someone—likely out of self defense, on her part—clearly doesn't set well. Kaz remembers the first time he'd done it, how he'd made it through the initial part and then retched horribly in the bathroom back at the Slat.
But it had been one step closer to taking down Rollins. One more stacked card in his then budding reputation for ruthlessness. He supposes he should feel worse, for all the lives he's ended, for the people he's surely made miserable in the wake of his schemes.
Except he isn't. They'd stood in the way of a non-negotiable goal.
Inej won't be like him, he thinks, despite enduring far worse in aspects he never had to consider, being out on the street. He doesn't think it too often of people here but: she's too good for the Barrel. ]
You become a waffle connoisseur when I wasn't looking?
[ Pls, this waffle is better and she has to know that!!! ]
Besides, you're comparing the wrong thing, it's the texture that's different.
[ people in the slat don't shut up. on most levels it's really annoying, and inej can understand why kaz likes the attic-space he's ensnared for himself. it's much quieter up here.
at any rate, one of the things the dregs like to talk about is food. and some of them talk about women, which causes inej's lips to curl in disgust, though she tries to keep her expression neutral whenever it happens. she's clocked one or two in the face, for making the odd comment about the menagerie. most of them have now since learned their lesson.
at any rate, opinions on waffles are held dearly. ]
What about the texture of this one makes it better?
[ she sounds legitimately curious, as she finishes off her waffle. ]
[ She's learned things. Well, that he doesn't doubt. With so many of the Dregs being Ketterdam born and bred, a topic of conversation that came up quite often was the way food was prepared. Whether it was someone reminiscing on something a parent used to make or a treat they managed to nab, it was a discussion he'd heard any number of times while passing through the Slat's dining room.
He could've joined them, told them about the tarts his father made. Or the candied yams they'd have at dinner on the holidays.
But that version of himself is gone. Kaz Rietveld drowned in the harbor and Kaz Brekker crawled out. To them, he has no parents, only Ketterdam. And he plans to keep it that way.
Inej, though, doesn't prod for memories. Her question is one he can answer. ]
It's lighter. The batter isn't as grainy and it won't sit heavy in your gut.
[ Not like waffles can do so often. While it's good to work on a full stomach, it can sometimes be uncomfortable if it's settled like a stone. ]
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no subject
Date: 2021-01-07 06:05 pm (UTC)[ At that, he settles back in his seat, unfolding the wrapping from his waffle. ]
It's not going to bite.
[ Not if she didn't want it to, anyway. And somehow he doubts she'll decide to pull it on him, even if she would technically have an opening to do so in here.
But as she said, they're basically in this together. He's tied to her contract just as much as she is, since he'd put his neck on the line for her possibility of freedom. It was going to be work for them both to get her enough money to pay it off, but it was certainly a better deal than the one Heleen had forced her into. The one she couldn't even read as it had been in Kerch.
This one she had been able to read. And could always go back to read again, if she was worried about terms changing. He doesn't think Haskell will, though. As long as the old man gets his kruge, he'll be happy. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 02:11 pm (UTC)as she unfolds the wrapping to reveal a wooden box, she opens it to reveal a knife. the craftsmanship is beautiful, the blade easily able to fit in her smaller hands. the handle looks like it would fit perfectly against her palm. but she doesn't remove it, quite yet.
not every act of kindness is a trick, inej. but: ]
I cannot afford this.
[ she says quietly, eyes flickering back up to meet his. and while she doesn't say it, the meaning in her eyes is fairly clear. she won't have another dime added to her tab to work off; whatever she has, she'll pay for herself. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 02:25 pm (UTC)There's a pause after she lifts the lid off the box, as though she isn't sure what to do with it. ]
You should have your own means of defense. It won't go on your contract.
[ Keeping herself alive is payment enough, right? It would be stupid to buy out her contract and then never give her any of the tools with which to make it in the Barrel. He'd told Haskell she'd be a great spider and that's what he'll get. That's what they'll all get. She already has a reputation because she's been around him, but he knows she'll have her own. One like his, armor to pull on—no one will want to touch her again.
No one smart, anyway. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 02:39 pm (UTC)her first instinct is to not trust it, but common sense overrides the paranoia almost immediately. kaz brekker was an arrogant brat on most days, but not one to lie to her. or hold something over her head, or expect anything more of her than what was already in their deal. so - if he says it won't go on the contract, then it won't.
so she wraps her fingers around the handle experimentally, lifting the knife out of the box. it's light, and she can tell it's perfectly balanced even without removing the blade from the sheath. it's beautiful, in a bizarre way. she never thought she would think that of a knife.
for the first time in what feels like years, a genuine smile curves her lips as she looks up at him again, clearly appreciative. ]
Thank you.
[ it's said quietly, but nonetheless warm. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 05:18 pm (UTC)Still, his gaze flicks up as she takes the knife out of the box, her grip sure but almost reverent. There's a tip of her hand as she tests the balance of it. The handle fits well, small enough for her to grip but big enough it won't cramp her hand or slip.
Maybe the bone handle is a little morbid, but it felt fitting, somehow.
When she looks up, he catches her gaze, feeling a wash of warmth when she smiles. It isn't one of her small ones, the rare times he's seen one ghosting on her mouth. This one is wider, genuine, and it lights up her whole face. ]
Can't have you using a toothpick for a knife.
[ Not like the pocket knife she'd been using occasionally. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 05:39 pm (UTC)[ belatedly, she's glad she made the trip to the lid to get the waffles. it pales in comparison to the knife, but at least the token of appreciation was given.
she unsheathes the knife, the glint of the blade pristine. it's sharp, the silvery blade perfectly suited against the white-bone of the handle. she can nearly see her reflection in the metal.
inej sheaths the blade again, her smile still on her features before she carefully sets it back in the box, mindful not to scuff anything. sometimes, inej wondered whether the words on her wrist were a blessing or a curse. there were days where she was certain kaz hated her. but there was some good in there, underneath whatever harmed him. little bits of light, peeking through the forced darkness.
today is a good day. an excellent one, really.
she sets the box back on his desk so she could get her waffle, to join him in dinner. she's reluctant to let go of the blade, but it seems silly to let her dinner get cold. especially after the journey she took to go get it. ]
Did you have it made, or did you find it?
[ as she settles back in to eat. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-10 04:46 pm (UTC)The knife gets sheathed once more and she sets the blade back into its box with care. ]
Found it. [ And he'd honestly been a little surprised to find something that had such perfect proportions for her. Small enough to be hidden easily, sharp enough to get any job done. Because he had wanted assurance that when she stuck someone, it wasn't going to be like hacking away. A dull knife is a painful way to go but slow and useless in a fight.
He settles in with his waffles as well, leaning forward in his chair so he doesn't drop anything. ]
The shopkeep mentioned it should go to someone who knew how to use it.
[ And she certainly does. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-10 10:51 pm (UTC)she never really thought of herself as dangerous before. too small and lithe and fragile. not anymore, with slowly building her muscle back, feeling stronger than she has in years.
she wonders what heleen would say if she saw her now. ]
When am I going to go with you on a job?
[ she asks idly, taking another bite of her waffle. it's something that causes her anxiety, because while she knows how to use the knife, she isn't so sure she can. but there's plenty to be done, without killing someone. or hurting them in any way. she can be useful without that.
hopefully, anyway. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-12 05:34 pm (UTC)[ He doesn't have an exact timeline, not yet. A strange thing for him, though not totally uncommon. Sometimes in the Barrel, one had to wait for pieces to fit together. And right now, he was in one of those moments of limbo.
It's fine, he's a patient person. Though, he understands her anxiety around going out and doing an actual job that didn't just involve sneaking and listening. ]
If things fall into place right, about two days, give or take. So eager to stick someone?
[ She doesn't seem to be, but maybe the comment will lighten the mood. Maybe. It probably came out more serious than he meant. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-12 09:41 pm (UTC)[ it's said with certainty, her eyes flickering away from his face back to her waffle, which she picks at, a slight frown appearing on her features.
killing someone is going to happen. she's no fool. that's what's expected of her, in part. but most of her job is to collect secrets, lies, and pass them on to kaz. if she has to kill someone, she would only do so in self-defense. or to save someone else. never affirmatively.
she can keep at least that shred of morality, with everything else sacrificed. ]
I would rather jump than wait.
[ ripping off the bandage would be easier than tip-toeing around the inevitable of having to participate in dreg business. two days gives her time to prepare, if nothing but mentally. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-15 12:55 am (UTC)Though strangely, he feels weird about having made her frown, the comment clearly a bit upsetting. It's never mattered before, so why does it matter now? He mentally shakes that off, focusing instead on his dinner and her follow up. ]
You'll get your chance. [ And: ] No one will hear you coming.
[ He'll be shocked, honestly shocked, if they do. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-17 02:18 am (UTC)she's beyond tired of feeling like she needs protecting.
she picks at her waffle a bit more, letting his words wash over her, before inej elects to change the subject. ]
I do not taste the difference, between these and the ones down the street.
[ she says, as she bites into her waffle. ]
Seems as if it is not worth the walk.
[ she might be goading an argument. a non-serious one, really. it's clear by the look in her eyes that she's joking. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-17 05:33 pm (UTC)But it had been one step closer to taking down Rollins. One more stacked card in his then budding reputation for ruthlessness. He supposes he should feel worse, for all the lives he's ended, for the people he's surely made miserable in the wake of his schemes.
Except he isn't. They'd stood in the way of a non-negotiable goal.
Inej won't be like him, he thinks, despite enduring far worse in aspects he never had to consider, being out on the street. He doesn't think it too often of people here but: she's too good for the Barrel. ]
You become a waffle connoisseur when I wasn't looking?
[ Pls, this waffle is better and she has to know that!!! ]
Besides, you're comparing the wrong thing, it's the texture that's different.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-17 11:49 pm (UTC)[ people in the slat don't shut up. on most levels it's really annoying, and inej can understand why kaz likes the attic-space he's ensnared for himself. it's much quieter up here.
at any rate, one of the things the dregs like to talk about is food. and some of them talk about women, which causes inej's lips to curl in disgust, though she tries to keep her expression neutral whenever it happens. she's clocked one or two in the face, for making the odd comment about the menagerie. most of them have now since learned their lesson.
at any rate, opinions on waffles are held dearly. ]
What about the texture of this one makes it better?
[ she sounds legitimately curious, as she finishes off her waffle. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-18 11:47 pm (UTC)He could've joined them, told them about the tarts his father made. Or the candied yams they'd have at dinner on the holidays.
But that version of himself is gone. Kaz Rietveld drowned in the harbor and Kaz Brekker crawled out. To them, he has no parents, only Ketterdam. And he plans to keep it that way.
Inej, though, doesn't prod for memories. Her question is one he can answer. ]
It's lighter. The batter isn't as grainy and it won't sit heavy in your gut.
[ Not like waffles can do so often. While it's good to work on a full stomach, it can sometimes be uncomfortable if it's settled like a stone. ]