Not nearly enough to scratch the itch, I am afraid.
[ she says as she slides her hands back up his chest to the sides of his neck, considering him for a moment. part of her wants to remain in this chair and kiss him, to lavish him with as much affection and attention as he could bear. but the other part of her wants to do the same in bed, wrapped up and wholly separate from the world, within the warm confines of their comforter and sheets.
she kisses him again, allowing her eyes to close as she relaxes into him completely. drinking her fill of him with a soft sigh against his mouth. it's only after she pulls away that she decides: ]
Mmm. [ as she presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth, feeling warm and affectionate. and perhaps a little possessive, of how pliable and relaxed he is underneath her touch. ] You will be more comfortable in a bed.
[ and so, reluctantly, she untangles herself from him enough to stand, taking his hands within her own to pull him up to his feet. ]
Come along, then.
[ so she can continue her lazy ministrations nestled within their sheets. ]
[ Kaz grins, the expression following him into the kiss she starts, dimming down into a smile as she sighs into it. One hand has settled on the small of her back, palm lightly tracing the barest indentations of her spine. The other is skimming up her bare calf, stopping right at the edge of where the shirt hem rides up her thighs.
She brings up a good point though: it will be more comfortable on the bed. That doesn't mean they have to totally stop what they were doing. Just have to pause it. Temporarily.
Gratefully, he allows her to help pull him up out of the chair, dropping another affectionate kiss to her fingers before he lets go. Tugging the corner of the comforter up, he pulls the warming pan out from under it, setting it on its stand near the fireplace. Double-checking his cane was within reach, he then joins her on the bed, sliding under the covers with a pleased sigh.
Of course, as soon as she's moderately cozy, he's turning to reach for her, dragging her closer so he can playfully kiss her neck. ]
[ inej has never once lost her moral compass, thank you very much. it was just a bit... crooked, now, that's all.
her eyes light up a bit as he removes the warming pan, beginning to see what he had set up while she was getting ready. so it is with no small amount of eagerness that she slides into bed, sighing in delight at the warmth enveloping her. she's just about to allow her eyes to slide shut to fully enjoy it when she feels an arm around her middle, and she laughs at being dragged toward his side of the bed, her laugh devolving into a chuckle at the feeling of his lips at her neck. ]
Well, maybe a little. [ she admits, turning to return his kiss with a grin, sliding her arms around his neck, comfortable. ] But no more than I've corrupted you.
[ for the better, she thinks. if positive corruption existed. ]
Thank you for the warm bed. [ she adds, settling into her pillow after another soft kiss, her smile reaching her eyes as she places a hand on his cheek, eyes bright. ] I've forgotten how cold it can get in Kerch, even with the flowers beginning to bloom.
I've embraced the corruption. [ He says, giving her a small squeeze around her middle and leaning in to steal another kiss. Inej has always been beautiful to him but, there's something particular about when he gets to see her like this; relaxed and smiling, her face flushed with warmth, her hair undone and framing her face. His heart feels like it contracts with affection as he looks at her, brushing a long lock of stray hair away from her face. ]
Well, you see, it was out of self-preservation. [ Kaz starts to tease, kissing the tip of her nose. ] Had to protect my shins from your freezing cold toes.
Rich, coming from the man with the coldest hands this side of the True Sea.
[ though it’s said in a laugh, nose wrinkling at the kiss. she adores this side of him that he often buries in ketterdam — softer, less presentable. it almost feels as if they’re in a bubble, something inej treasures. it’s a rare thing, when they can be completely unbothered and free of responsibility. they can be themselves, without reputation or title.
she tilts his head slightly, just enough for another lazy kiss, murmuring: ]
I love you, you know.
[ just in case he forgot, in the span of a few hours since she last said it. ]
[ It's said echoing her own laugh, his hand dipping below the comforter to trace her side. Once his fingers are sufficiently warmed by the trapped heat, he curls them around her thigh, teasingly inching her shirt up. He dips his head, pressing another kiss to her mouth before shifting his weight to continue a line of them to her jaw and neck.
At her comment, he smiles against her pulse point, lifting his gaze to meet hers. ]
I know. [ Though he answers with as much affection as he can infuse in the words. ] I adore you.
[ Really, how did he manage to get so lucky? When he looks past everything they've endured, all the things they're still working on—he's simply grateful she decided there had been something in him worth saving. That she'd told him all those years ago the terms he'd have to live up to, even if that conversation had haunted his every waking hour, the pain of it acute like a knife through the ribs. ]
[ she tilts her head back with a laugh as he kisses her neck. if only, she wants to say, in regards to his gloves. he sometimes still wears them for the image, but never around her -- unless it was a spectacularly bad day, which has thankfully not happened in quite some time. a hand shifts to his hair, running her fingers through it with sheer affection as he smiles against her throat. ]
Mm, I know. [ that he adores her. he shows it, in his own way, every day. she tilts her head enough to press a kiss to his temple, comfortable with their current entanglement. her lips curve into a wider smile; she can feel his wandering hands, if only just. it's still all surface-level -- touching just to touch, which she's perfectly fine with. whether it progresses or not, inej is all but liquid underneath his touch, relaxing into the warm nest of blankets with a comfortable sigh. ] You must, to leave your precious Ketterdam.
[ it's a jest, really; she knows this place is (obviously) of great importance to kaz. but getting kaz to leave ketterdam (his city and his home, now) often requires quite a bit of convincing. not because he's loathe to leave, but . . . well, fine, he was a bit loathe to leave. you wouldn't know it, by how relaxed he was now. ]
[ Her chin tips back as she laughs and he feels that squeeze in his chest, the one that makes him light-headed. That's the laugh, the one that'd slipped under creases in his armor he hadn't known existed. The one that had reminded him that magic could be more than sleight of hand and misdirection. There are days he really wishes he could bottle it up, savor it in sips when she was gone away at sea too long.
For now, he basks in it, letting it wash over him like a warm spring rain.
Shifting, he moves his other hand to curve along the side of her neck, thumb lightly resting on her jawline. Her words are a gentle tease and he huffs a quiet laugh at his expense. In a different time, the jab would've been injurious, would've reminded him that Ketterdam had only served to cage her in. ]
You're more precious than anything the city could ever offer me, Inej. [ Because despite his anxiety, his disagreement, his reluctance–if she asked him to burn it all to the ground and follow her instead, he would. There are hundreds of reasons why he stays in Ketterdam; his responsibilities, the gang, his crows (both sets), all the undone schemes. None are so significant as his role in being an anchor there for Inej when she finally came to dry land. ]
Besides, Ketterdam's my mother. All children have to fly the nest on occasion.
[ her smile softens further at kaz's words, remaining still under his attention. it warms her through, because at one time, inej would have doubted him. now, she knows kaz would do anything, anything, to ensure her happiness and safety. including giving up ketterdam for her, which he had. nearly, anyway, until he had figured it out and saved their necks.
she does laugh, though, at his last line, and inej tilts her head to kiss the palm of his hand, amused. ]
[ He affirms with a small catch of breath, as she kisses his palm. Kaz hasn't worn his gloves for a long stretch of time and so, the sensitivity has lessened over time. But, the skin there is still softer and more sensitive than hands would normally be. Her lips brushing along the lines there send a shiver through him.
In return, he gently tilts her face so he can kiss the curve of her smile. Twice. And a third time, for good measure. With restraint, he finally moves to lie next to her, affectionately nosing at her temple. His hand settles on her midriff, thumb tracing the subtle stitching on the front of the shirt. ]
If I'm not up early, the hens are going to riot.
[ And as much as there's always the allure of taking this further, to keep kissing her until their lips are swollen and they're out of breath, he is admittedly drained from the long travel here. The emotional fretting he's been doing on the days leading up to the journey is catching up to him as well. So, he tucks the urge to keep going in his pocket for later, when he isn't tapped out in a sense.
This feels nice, though, to just cuddle up with the woman he loves, the world narrowed down to the two of them in their cozy bubble. ]
[ the kisses soon subside into kaz settling down, clearly intent on sleeping rather than doing anything further. which is fine, honestly; he was tired, and inej knows he hasn't slept very well in the days leading up to their trip. so she snuggles in next to him, pressing a final kiss to his cheek before tucking her head underneath his chin, properly entangling herself in him. as is her want. ]
I think if you get up early, you are going to riot.
[ amused, though she makes a note to herself that she will rise even earlier, to make sure he has coffee, at the minimum. an arm loops around his middle as she tucks herself close, letting her eyes drift to sleep. ]
But I will get up with you, to ensure the ladies of the house do not starve.
[ There's a smile lingering on his mouth when she kisses his cheek and then settles in to get comfortable. Her head is pillowed on his shoulder, legs slung over his thighs, the whole side of her body pressed up against his. As soon as she's done fidgeting, he can feel his muscles relax into her hold, a euphoric sense of peace blanketing him. ]
I will feel somewhat riotous. [ Kaz admits, tone both amused and sheepish in turn. Early mornings were not his favorite time of day. Most of his life had been spent seeing the dawn only because he'd managed to stay up through the night. The Barrel didn't sleep until late, past midnight, and even when the clubs wound down, the small hours were best to accomplish his many schemes.
To say that had been an odd adjustment when he'd arrived in Ketterdam would be an understatement. After all, they're back where he'd grown up, where people woke with the first crowing of the roosters and the shy peek of the sun over the horizon line washed everything in a fragile white light. Despite being too young to do the more hard labor on the farm, the three of them had always been up early, with his Da kindly shaking his boys awake and plying them with promises of a hot breakfast. ]
Very magnanimous of you. I'm sure their highnesses will show their appreciation by trying to peck at your shins.
[ Fussy little creatures that they are. Still, something about having fed the chickens for so many years has imbued the habit with a strange kind of affection. These aren't the ones he and Jordie and Da named–those hens are long gone–but the familiarity is...comforting, somehow.
Shaking his head minutely, he focuses on the heat radiating out from Inej, the sound of her steady inhale-exhale, trying to get his mind to let go of the racing thoughts. For once, luck is on his side, as the next thing he's aware of is the watery morning light creeping in through the windows. It washes the entire room out in a pale blue-white, a humid but crisp chill hanging in the air. He doesn't need to look to know Inej has already woken, the blankets on her side left in a crumple.
With nothing to keep him in the bed, he gets up, going through the motions of making himself at least somewhat presentable. Visitors weren't a frequent occurrence out this way, but, it was still possible. Neighbors could drop by unannounced, asking after fresh eggs or to borrow a cup of flour.
Hair sufficiently tamed and dressed more appropriately for the burgeoning spring, he makes his way downstairs, the tap of his cane louder than usual in the quiet of the house. As predicted, Inej is already in the kitchen, snugly swathed in an oversized jumper he's fairly sure used to be his. Making his way over, he puts a gentle hand on her waist as he drops a kiss to the part in her hair. ]
Good morning. [ His words are slightly muffled, spoken into the crown of her head. ] Sleep well?
[ long years of living directly beneath kaz brekker's haunt within the attic has gotten her used to the sound of him moving around. so when she distantly hears a shuffle above her, she smiles to herself as she flips the eggs within the pan. soon, the shuffling is accompanied with the tap of a cane, and inej is impressed -- both with her own estimations on when kaz would rouse himself, and that kaz had actually done so.
she doesn't look over as he comes to her side, presses a kiss to the top of her head. she is, indeed, wearing an old jumper of his -- it was cool, and it kept her snugly warm. once she's certain the eggs are cooking nicely, she tilts her head back against his shoulder with a warm smile, amused. ]
Good morning. [ and she stands on her toes just a bit, to kiss his jaw before returning her attention to the breakfast at hand -- eggs, plucked neatly from the sleeping hens in the coop adjacent to the house without their knowledge, some toast within the oven. a light affair, as inej knows kaz will want to give her a tour after they are done. something, she imagines, he both is legitimately looking forward to and wants to get over with as soon as possible. ] I did sleep well. [ nice and cozy. she tilts her head toward the counter, where a pot of coffee is already made. ] Come back to life, hm?
[ She brushes a soft kiss to the line of his jaw and he smiles, the expression making it all the way to his eyes. It may be earlier than he would ever like to be awake and moving around, but, her presence makes it all the more bearable. ]
I'm alive. [ Mostly. He'll feel better when there's caffeine in his system. So, he does move over to the fresh pot of coffee, taking a couple of stoneware mugs down from the cupboard. Inej isn't usually one for coffee, preferring her tea, but he pours some for her at the lack of tea leaves, fixed on the sweeter side. A bit indulgent himself, he adds a teaspoon of sugar to his cup, stirring idly as she shimmies an egg onto the spatula to flip it.
The light in the kitchen is still dimmer this early, though the rays of the sun are slowly starting to shift from white to a pale butter yellow. Once it was properly over the horizon, the chill morning dew clinging to the air would start to dissipate and make the temperature more pleasant. His past merges with the present again, as he's sure will happen the entire time they're here, the memory of his Da standing in the same spot–at the same time of day–as Inej is scratching at his brain. For a few long moments, he simply watches her, swallowing around the odd déjà vu. Deciding he's idled too long, he pulls his gaze away, striding over to the worn and well-cared for table to begin setting it.
As she comes over with the pan of eggs, he squints out towards the bay window, trying to determine whether the clouds were indicating an overcast. Between the streaky grey-white wisps, the sky is a clear gradient of gradually lightening indigo; probably a clear day. ]
Likely won't have time to see Lij proper until tomorrow. [ He says, turning his attention away from the window. ] The grounds aren't extensive but, they're big enough.
[ There's an unspoken question on his face as he looks at her: does she want to see it all? Not like fields are the most exciting thing, even if he has history in nearly every crumb of dirt surrounding the house, extending out to the lake and a bit of the tree line behind it. He'd understand if she'd rather stay in and leave him to his own melancholy. ]
[ he's lost in his own head when she approaches with the food, though he does speak. his mind isn't focused in the present, though, seeking out next steps on how to deal with... all of this. but as she slides toast and eggs onto a plate for him, she hums to herself in thought, reading the question easily.
he's giving her an out. why, inej has no idea. well, she does. he doesn't want to burden her with whatever is in his head, but that was the the purpose of being here, wasn't it? to shoulder it with him. to carry it.
so she simply smiles, settling in across from him with her own coffee (appropriately sweet, which she appreciates), watching kaz over the rim of the cup. ]
Then I suppose we had better get started exploring, then.
[ her tone is warm and gentle, along with a quiet reassurance. she was going to see it with him, or he was not going at all. ]
[ Of course her answer is simple. And of course she wouldn't take the out he'd built into his question. Really, he should know this about her by now, that she was willing to be there for every painful step he took as he peeled his armor off and re-learned how to walk without it. There wouldn't be the horrible pity in her eyes as he shook the rust off of metaphorical joints he hasn't used in years.
Still, he supposes it's habit, to put up something like a defense, just in case the other person decided to take the knife he'd given them and stab it into his soft underbelly.
It's with immense gratitude he reaches over to cup his hand over hers, though, giving her fingers a thankful squeeze. ]
By the time we're done with the hens, should be bright enough out to take the path to the lake. [ Start the furthest out and work their way back in, he thinks, is the better option. Because as they began their trip towards the house again, the memories would be less cheerful in ways. Or rather, heavily burdened by the grief that washed out the happier times more often than not. ]
I can show you the tree Jordie climbed on a dare and broke his arm. [ Despite the injury, it is a funny memory, something that has him smiling lightly as he sips his coffee. ]
[ she returns the squeeze of his fingers with a warm smile, letting him take his time to explain the plan for the day. all of this was going to be ugly... to an extent. it would only be as ugly as kaz would allow it to be. he mentions jordie easily enough, but inej knows that the closer they stray to more painful memories, the more difficult this was going to be.
she looks amused at the story, idly turning his hand over so his palm faces upward. she idly traces the lines in his palm, fingers tracing along indentations that she has long since memorized. if you didn't know kaz, you would think he did work meant for soft hands. a banker, or a lawyer. someone who didn't get their hands dirty, or didn't know the meaning of hard work for survival. a far contrast to her own calloused hands, roughened by knives and rope.
the thought amuses her further, before she says: ]
I want to see it.
[ see everything, really. she feels starved for information, here; wants to soak up everything possible, for how long it has taken her to arrive at this moment. because this is all she wanted of him, wasn't it? for him to trust her with the broken pieces. being here, it was hard to imagine how kaz brekker was formed from such a peaceful and idyllic place. but lost boys don't wind up in ketterdam without reason; she suspects she'll learn soon enough as to why they found their way into pekka's grasp. ]
[ Inej doesn't release him from her hold, choosing instead to follow the life lines on his palm with her fingertips. Her featherlight touch sends a shiver up his arm, though he doesn't pull away. Instead, used to eating one-handed for a variety of reasons, he sets his coffee down and takes a bite of his toast. He's not particularly hungry, never really is when he first wakes up, but he knows they have a lot of walking to do; he'll need the energy. ]
Of course, darling Inej.
[ And here's the thing: despite everything, Kaz Brekker kept his promises. So, while he knows there are parts of this trip that will pull him straight into the murky water of the harbor, he was determined to see it through. Because Inej deserves it, deserves his truth, especially after waiting so long.
The rest of breakfast is a short affair, with toast and eggs swiftly devoured and their coffee drained. Kaz leads the way out to the nearby chicken yard, releasing the hens from their coop once he's secured the gate and grabbed a bag of feed. Sating their initial swarm of hungry chaos, he passes the honors to Inej, completely amused by how much smaller she looks with a cluster of fluffy chickens by her ankles. He shows her how to toss the grain and pellets further, so the hens didn't box her in or peck her shins in spite.
With the feathery little demons sufficiently distracted, they collect about a dozen eggs into one of the nearby cartons. As a couple chickens make their way back into the coop, they take that as a signal to escape the penned in yard without further issue. The egg carton is deposited back in the kitchen and when they head out the door again, true enough, the sun has peeked well over the horizon, painting the fields yellow-orange. Kaz veers them off the path they'd taken to the hens, forking right instead, in the direction of the lake glinting in the near distance. ]
Da planted dill and parsley over there. [ He nods to a smaller plot of tilled land, with a wooden fence that looks freshly mended. ] Tried mint one year and it drove him nuts, sprouted up everywhere.
[ she lets him lead the way, hand in hand, her eyes wandering across the rolling fields as kaz chooses their path. they seem to be wandering toward the lake, as promised, though her eyes are drawn to where kaz gestures.
she tries to imagine what kaz's father looked like -- tall, surely, given kaz's own stature. jordie was likely tall, too, though kaz hasn't ever described him. or his mother... kaz hasn't mentioned her since arriving. she knows that his mother died when he was young, so he may not remember at all. his father, though, kaz seems to have a clear memory of.
she tucks that observation away, instead saying: ]
My favorite type of tea. [ mint, that is, though it is an unruly weed, at best. mint, jasmine, with sweet honey. the perfect refreshing drink while trekking across ravka. ] He must have had his hands full, between the mint and two boys.
[ inej squeezes his fingers, in reassurance; kaz doesn't need to tread down that path of memory just yet. ]
I know. [ He replies softly, a small smile tucked in the corner of his mouth. In the first few months when Inej had joined the Dregs, she'd distastefully sipped the coffee like the rest of them. Eventually, she'd graduated to drinking the (watered down) black tea that upper class Kerch women preferred to serve in their parlors. As she'd learned more of the city, Kaz remembers finding a tin of her favorite mix, tucked towards the back of a cabinet in the Slat's kitchen. The dented tin didn't have a label on it, but he'd just known it was hers.
Two days later, they'd gone on a cramped lookout, their skinny bodies very nearly pressed together. He'd caught the scent of sugary mint on her breath, with a floral note as it dissipated, confirming his guess. ]
He always had his hands full, really. Long days, taking care of all this. Neither of us were much help until Jordie turned ten. [ Kaz had still been too young, too small to do any of the actual labor. He lets that wash over him, giving Inej's hand a little squeeze in return. ]
No, food crops require too much attention. [ One tiny bit of blight and the whole thing could go. ] Da only hired on help during the harvest: late spring and again in the fall. We, uh, grew flowers.
[ kaz seems to be at his least comfortable, talking about this. a far cry from the confident boy who loves a spectacle, with a flair for the dramatic. no, he has pauses in his tone as he speaks, unsure over what to tell, how to say it. so she listens, plucking meaning from the pauses in between the words, until he mentions that his family mostly grew flowers.
it startles her, a bit. one, kaz brekker the flower salesman... well, she supposes it wouldn't be too far off. kaz could make money doing anything, she was sure. but on a deeper level, she remembers sitting in the menagerie, attempting to be as invisible as possible. clinging to every possible memory of home, and how her father always seemed to produce her mother's favorite flowers. hidden in cupboards, in bags, to her great delight. and how she had always thought to herself that that was the mark of love, a boy who would fetch her not only flowers, but her favorite ones, without asking.
it's strange, now, to be here. it causes her stomach to sink for a moment, thinking how kaz could have been spared ketterdam had his life here just remained as it was before... whatever happened. but it's bittersweet, in a way, that the boy who does (to great excess) ensure that she always has her favorite flowers within arm's reach whenever they are together came from a farm full of them. like it was meant to be.
she's quiet for a moment before she slips her arm fully through his, hugging it briefly to her as they step past the mended fence, her cheek resting against his arm as they walk. ]
I didn't know such a thing existed. Flower farms. [ in retrospect, it's pretty obvious. the florists have to get their flowers from somewhere. ] It must be beautiful, when they are all in bloom.
[ Despite the regular care and upkeep, the winding dirt pathway is still susceptible to the elements and the test of time. It's a bit uneven in places, making him slow his usual stride–an annoyance he wouldn't have stood for, in Ketterdam. Here, he's caught between thankful and anxious with the more sedate pace. Ultimately, he finds he's settling on the former; Inej has waited a long time for him to tell her this part of his life, he shouldn't simply rush through it out of discomfort.
So, he relaxes as she loops her arm through his, the warmth of her cheek bleeding through his shirt. ]
As long as the weather holds, we'll see the start of it, while we're here. [ Sometimes, spring could take a sudden turn towards the chill again. While it's been years since he's truly been back, he's never forgotten the bloom schedule. Or the handful of times it had been delayed by a couple of weeks, due to frost blowing in from the sea. ] Someone's got to make sure the rich merchers have things to put in their expensive vases.
[ Never mind that they could afford to spend frivolously, if they so wanted. ] The bulbs are worth a fortune, over in the Wandering Isle, if they don't rot on the ship. In case you ever want to make extra to fund your crusade.
[ Their worth has all but crashed in Kerch, aside from a few variations. ]
See those two fields, with the green sprouts? They'll be all over there. The two resting fields on the other side will be stalks of goldenrod, near the end of summer. [ This is easier, he thinks, than speaking of other things. But, maybe he doesn't have to jump into the deep water just yet. Remembering the small details is a comfort; it means something about the rest of his family still lives, so long as his memory of them does. ]
[ amused; of course this was why he had wanted to arrive in early spring. to catch the flowers right at the beginning of bloom. very romantic and dramatic, which felt right. following where he points, she makes note of where the hills lay on the horizon. with a bit of luck, they should be in full color within a few days.
she squeezes his arm again as they make their way down the slowly disintegrating path, though it was still a walked one. she could almost envision two little boys racing each other down to the lake, eager to be the first one to jump in on a hot summer day. her hand slides down his arm to take his hand in hers again, threading their fingers together. for additional comfort, and so kaz could have a more stable hold the closer to the lake that they got. ]
And hmm, I think I will let the tulips bloom here, and bring them to the city, instead. [ in their natural habitat, though inej will be sure to pay whoever wishes to sell her some more than what they are worth. ] Ketterdam needs all the color it can get.
[ He grins, just a little, at her amusement. Naturally, he'd picked a time of year when the view would be the most dramatic, resplendent in an array of color as the tulips boldly unfurled, announcing the true arrival of spring.
Gratefully, he lets her thread their fingers together, as he picks his way along the trail stretched in front of them. For now, he has to watch for divots or rocks. As they draw closer to the lakebed, though, he knows the ground has a tendency to be richer, marshier. Easy to sink up the heel in. ]
What, not fond of our staid neutrals? [ Kaz teases, knowing very well how she thought of the drab greys and blacks that dominated most of the city. ] Can't hurl that at Barrel, at least.
[ Not towards most of the inhabitants, anyway. Barrel flash has remained consistent, a riot of lime green or searing pink or blinding turquoise. ]
See that willow, near the shore? Used to climb it, to read in peace. Or—when I was upset with either of them. [ Usually he'd be annoyed with Jordie, who'd had a tendency to open his mouth before thinking. ] First time I did it, Da grounded me for a week for scaring him half to death. He couldn't find me, thought I'd fallen in the lake or gotten lost.
[ indeed, inej is not a fan of the gloominess of ketterdam... but the barrel was different. the flashes of color and joy in an otherwise violent and dreary place. home. she shakes her head slightly, amused at the thought, before their steps slow.
her eyes follow where kaz is gesturing, to a beautiful weeping willow. the branches stretch so long that the leaves and flowers brush the surface of the water. it was beautiful, and quiet, and inej can just see a smaller version of kaz tucked stubbornly among the high branches. hidden away so he could be left to his own thoughts.
not much has changed, inej realizes, amused. and so she tugs his hand as she steps closer to the shore, toward the tree itself. ]
You haven't been lost a day in your life. [ with no small amount of amusement as they near the tree, her steps careful to avoid anything too marshy or soggy. it wouldn't do to fall into the lake, which inej was certain was still freezing. ] Falling in, though... hm.
[ well. a young child may not know how to swim, but it was kerch. an island. inej would think all of them would know at least the basics, being so close to shore no matter where you were in the country. she considers that for a moment, almost asking... but then she tilts her head back to look at him, somewhat unimpressed. ]
I can't imagine you being obedient enough to respect a grounding.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-10-02 05:22 pm (UTC)[ she says as she slides her hands back up his chest to the sides of his neck, considering him for a moment. part of her wants to remain in this chair and kiss him, to lavish him with as much affection and attention as he could bear. but the other part of her wants to do the same in bed, wrapped up and wholly separate from the world, within the warm confines of their comforter and sheets.
she kisses him again, allowing her eyes to close as she relaxes into him completely. drinking her fill of him with a soft sigh against his mouth. it's only after she pulls away that she decides: ]
Mmm. [ as she presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth, feeling warm and affectionate. and perhaps a little possessive, of how pliable and relaxed he is underneath her touch. ] You will be more comfortable in a bed.
[ and so, reluctantly, she untangles herself from him enough to stand, taking his hands within her own to pull him up to his feet. ]
Come along, then.
[ so she can continue her lazy ministrations nestled within their sheets. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-02 09:30 pm (UTC)[ Kaz grins, the expression following him into the kiss she starts, dimming down into a smile as she sighs into it. One hand has settled on the small of her back, palm lightly tracing the barest indentations of her spine. The other is skimming up her bare calf, stopping right at the edge of where the shirt hem rides up her thighs.
She brings up a good point though: it will be more comfortable on the bed. That doesn't mean they have to totally stop what they were doing. Just have to pause it. Temporarily.
Gratefully, he allows her to help pull him up out of the chair, dropping another affectionate kiss to her fingers before he lets go. Tugging the corner of the comforter up, he pulls the warming pan out from under it, setting it on its stand near the fireplace. Double-checking his cane was within reach, he then joins her on the bed, sliding under the covers with a pleased sigh.
Of course, as soon as she's moderately cozy, he's turning to reach for her, dragging her closer so he can playfully kiss her neck. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-02 10:38 pm (UTC)[ inej has never once lost her moral compass, thank you very much. it was just a bit... crooked, now, that's all.
her eyes light up a bit as he removes the warming pan, beginning to see what he had set up while she was getting ready. so it is with no small amount of eagerness that she slides into bed, sighing in delight at the warmth enveloping her. she's just about to allow her eyes to slide shut to fully enjoy it when she feels an arm around her middle, and she laughs at being dragged toward his side of the bed, her laugh devolving into a chuckle at the feeling of his lips at her neck. ]
Well, maybe a little. [ she admits, turning to return his kiss with a grin, sliding her arms around his neck, comfortable. ] But no more than I've corrupted you.
[ for the better, she thinks. if positive corruption existed. ]
Thank you for the warm bed. [ she adds, settling into her pillow after another soft kiss, her smile reaching her eyes as she places a hand on his cheek, eyes bright. ] I've forgotten how cold it can get in Kerch, even with the flowers beginning to bloom.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-03 12:35 am (UTC)Well, you see, it was out of self-preservation. [ Kaz starts to tease, kissing the tip of her nose. ] Had to protect my shins from your freezing cold toes.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-03 02:17 am (UTC)[ though it’s said in a laugh, nose wrinkling at the kiss. she adores this side of him that he often buries in ketterdam — softer, less presentable. it almost feels as if they’re in a bubble, something inej treasures. it’s a rare thing, when they can be completely unbothered and free of responsibility. they can be themselves, without reputation or title.
she tilts his head slightly, just enough for another lazy kiss, murmuring: ]
I love you, you know.
[ just in case he forgot, in the span of a few hours since she last said it. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-03 03:52 am (UTC)[ It's said echoing her own laugh, his hand dipping below the comforter to trace her side. Once his fingers are sufficiently warmed by the trapped heat, he curls them around her thigh, teasingly inching her shirt up. He dips his head, pressing another kiss to her mouth before shifting his weight to continue a line of them to her jaw and neck.
At her comment, he smiles against her pulse point, lifting his gaze to meet hers. ]
I know. [ Though he answers with as much affection as he can infuse in the words. ] I adore you.
[ Really, how did he manage to get so lucky? When he looks past everything they've endured, all the things they're still working on—he's simply grateful she decided there had been something in him worth saving. That she'd told him all those years ago the terms he'd have to live up to, even if that conversation had haunted his every waking hour, the pain of it acute like a knife through the ribs. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-03 11:19 pm (UTC)Mm, I know. [ that he adores her. he shows it, in his own way, every day. she tilts her head enough to press a kiss to his temple, comfortable with their current entanglement. her lips curve into a wider smile; she can feel his wandering hands, if only just. it's still all surface-level -- touching just to touch, which she's perfectly fine with. whether it progresses or not, inej is all but liquid underneath his touch, relaxing into the warm nest of blankets with a comfortable sigh. ] You must, to leave your precious Ketterdam.
[ it's a jest, really; she knows this place is (obviously) of great importance to kaz. but getting kaz to leave ketterdam (his city and his home, now) often requires quite a bit of convincing. not because he's loathe to leave, but . . . well, fine, he was a bit loathe to leave. you wouldn't know it, by how relaxed he was now. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-04 12:39 am (UTC)For now, he basks in it, letting it wash over him like a warm spring rain.
Shifting, he moves his other hand to curve along the side of her neck, thumb lightly resting on her jawline. Her words are a gentle tease and he huffs a quiet laugh at his expense. In a different time, the jab would've been injurious, would've reminded him that Ketterdam had only served to cage her in. ]
You're more precious than anything the city could ever offer me, Inej. [ Because despite his anxiety, his disagreement, his reluctance–if she asked him to burn it all to the ground and follow her instead, he would. There are hundreds of reasons why he stays in Ketterdam; his responsibilities, the gang, his crows (both sets), all the undone schemes. None are so significant as his role in being an anchor there for Inej when she finally came to dry land. ]
Besides, Ketterdam's my mother. All children have to fly the nest on occasion.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-06 02:30 am (UTC)she does laugh, though, at his last line, and inej tilts her head to kiss the palm of his hand, amused. ]
Even thirty million kruge?
[ teasingly. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-07 01:19 am (UTC)[ He affirms with a small catch of breath, as she kisses his palm. Kaz hasn't worn his gloves for a long stretch of time and so, the sensitivity has lessened over time. But, the skin there is still softer and more sensitive than hands would normally be. Her lips brushing along the lines there send a shiver through him.
In return, he gently tilts her face so he can kiss the curve of her smile. Twice. And a third time, for good measure. With restraint, he finally moves to lie next to her, affectionately nosing at her temple. His hand settles on her midriff, thumb tracing the subtle stitching on the front of the shirt. ]
If I'm not up early, the hens are going to riot.
[ And as much as there's always the allure of taking this further, to keep kissing her until their lips are swollen and they're out of breath, he is admittedly drained from the long travel here. The emotional fretting he's been doing on the days leading up to the journey is catching up to him as well. So, he tucks the urge to keep going in his pocket for later, when he isn't tapped out in a sense.
This feels nice, though, to just cuddle up with the woman he loves, the world narrowed down to the two of them in their cozy bubble. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-09 01:29 am (UTC)I think if you get up early, you are going to riot.
[ amused, though she makes a note to herself that she will rise even earlier, to make sure he has coffee, at the minimum. an arm loops around his middle as she tucks herself close, letting her eyes drift to sleep. ]
But I will get up with you, to ensure the ladies of the house do not starve.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-10 02:00 am (UTC)I will feel somewhat riotous. [ Kaz admits, tone both amused and sheepish in turn. Early mornings were not his favorite time of day. Most of his life had been spent seeing the dawn only because he'd managed to stay up through the night. The Barrel didn't sleep until late, past midnight, and even when the clubs wound down, the small hours were best to accomplish his many schemes.
To say that had been an odd adjustment when he'd arrived in Ketterdam would be an understatement. After all, they're back where he'd grown up, where people woke with the first crowing of the roosters and the shy peek of the sun over the horizon line washed everything in a fragile white light. Despite being too young to do the more hard labor on the farm, the three of them had always been up early, with his Da kindly shaking his boys awake and plying them with promises of a hot breakfast. ]
Very magnanimous of you. I'm sure their highnesses will show their appreciation by trying to peck at your shins.
[ Fussy little creatures that they are. Still, something about having fed the chickens for so many years has imbued the habit with a strange kind of affection. These aren't the ones he and Jordie and Da named–those hens are long gone–but the familiarity is...comforting, somehow.
Shaking his head minutely, he focuses on the heat radiating out from Inej, the sound of her steady inhale-exhale, trying to get his mind to let go of the racing thoughts. For once, luck is on his side, as the next thing he's aware of is the watery morning light creeping in through the windows. It washes the entire room out in a pale blue-white, a humid but crisp chill hanging in the air. He doesn't need to look to know Inej has already woken, the blankets on her side left in a crumple.
With nothing to keep him in the bed, he gets up, going through the motions of making himself at least somewhat presentable. Visitors weren't a frequent occurrence out this way, but, it was still possible. Neighbors could drop by unannounced, asking after fresh eggs or to borrow a cup of flour.
Hair sufficiently tamed and dressed more appropriately for the burgeoning spring, he makes his way downstairs, the tap of his cane louder than usual in the quiet of the house. As predicted, Inej is already in the kitchen, snugly swathed in an oversized jumper he's fairly sure used to be his. Making his way over, he puts a gentle hand on her waist as he drops a kiss to the part in her hair. ]
Good morning. [ His words are slightly muffled, spoken into the crown of her head. ] Sleep well?
no subject
Date: 2024-10-12 10:31 pm (UTC)she doesn't look over as he comes to her side, presses a kiss to the top of her head. she is, indeed, wearing an old jumper of his -- it was cool, and it kept her snugly warm. once she's certain the eggs are cooking nicely, she tilts her head back against his shoulder with a warm smile, amused. ]
Good morning. [ and she stands on her toes just a bit, to kiss his jaw before returning her attention to the breakfast at hand -- eggs, plucked neatly from the sleeping hens in the coop adjacent to the house without their knowledge, some toast within the oven. a light affair, as inej knows kaz will want to give her a tour after they are done. something, she imagines, he both is legitimately looking forward to and wants to get over with as soon as possible. ] I did sleep well. [ nice and cozy. she tilts her head toward the counter, where a pot of coffee is already made. ] Come back to life, hm?
[ then they can discuss the rest of their day. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-13 12:03 am (UTC)I'm alive. [ Mostly. He'll feel better when there's caffeine in his system. So, he does move over to the fresh pot of coffee, taking a couple of stoneware mugs down from the cupboard. Inej isn't usually one for coffee, preferring her tea, but he pours some for her at the lack of tea leaves, fixed on the sweeter side. A bit indulgent himself, he adds a teaspoon of sugar to his cup, stirring idly as she shimmies an egg onto the spatula to flip it.
The light in the kitchen is still dimmer this early, though the rays of the sun are slowly starting to shift from white to a pale butter yellow. Once it was properly over the horizon, the chill morning dew clinging to the air would start to dissipate and make the temperature more pleasant. His past merges with the present again, as he's sure will happen the entire time they're here, the memory of his Da standing in the same spot–at the same time of day–as Inej is scratching at his brain. For a few long moments, he simply watches her, swallowing around the odd déjà vu. Deciding he's idled too long, he pulls his gaze away, striding over to the worn and well-cared for table to begin setting it.
As she comes over with the pan of eggs, he squints out towards the bay window, trying to determine whether the clouds were indicating an overcast. Between the streaky grey-white wisps, the sky is a clear gradient of gradually lightening indigo; probably a clear day. ]
Likely won't have time to see Lij proper until tomorrow. [ He says, turning his attention away from the window. ] The grounds aren't extensive but, they're big enough.
[ There's an unspoken question on his face as he looks at her: does she want to see it all? Not like fields are the most exciting thing, even if he has history in nearly every crumb of dirt surrounding the house, extending out to the lake and a bit of the tree line behind it. He'd understand if she'd rather stay in and leave him to his own melancholy. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-13 12:24 am (UTC)he's giving her an out. why, inej has no idea. well, she does. he doesn't want to burden her with whatever is in his head, but that was the the purpose of being here, wasn't it? to shoulder it with him. to carry it.
so she simply smiles, settling in across from him with her own coffee (appropriately sweet, which she appreciates), watching kaz over the rim of the cup. ]
Then I suppose we had better get started exploring, then.
[ her tone is warm and gentle, along with a quiet reassurance. she was going to see it with him, or he was not going at all. ]
Where do you want to start?
no subject
Date: 2024-10-13 12:40 am (UTC)Still, he supposes it's habit, to put up something like a defense, just in case the other person decided to take the knife he'd given them and stab it into his soft underbelly.
It's with immense gratitude he reaches over to cup his hand over hers, though, giving her fingers a thankful squeeze. ]
By the time we're done with the hens, should be bright enough out to take the path to the lake. [ Start the furthest out and work their way back in, he thinks, is the better option. Because as they began their trip towards the house again, the memories would be less cheerful in ways. Or rather, heavily burdened by the grief that washed out the happier times more often than not. ]
I can show you the tree Jordie climbed on a dare and broke his arm. [ Despite the injury, it is a funny memory, something that has him smiling lightly as he sips his coffee. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 11:53 pm (UTC)she looks amused at the story, idly turning his hand over so his palm faces upward. she idly traces the lines in his palm, fingers tracing along indentations that she has long since memorized. if you didn't know kaz, you would think he did work meant for soft hands. a banker, or a lawyer. someone who didn't get their hands dirty, or didn't know the meaning of hard work for survival. a far contrast to her own calloused hands, roughened by knives and rope.
the thought amuses her further, before she says: ]
I want to see it.
[ see everything, really. she feels starved for information, here; wants to soak up everything possible, for how long it has taken her to arrive at this moment. because this is all she wanted of him, wasn't it? for him to trust her with the broken pieces. being here, it was hard to imagine how kaz brekker was formed from such a peaceful and idyllic place. but lost boys don't wind up in ketterdam without reason; she suspects she'll learn soon enough as to why they found their way into pekka's grasp. ]
Show me?
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 01:16 am (UTC)Of course, darling Inej.
[ And here's the thing: despite everything, Kaz Brekker kept his promises. So, while he knows there are parts of this trip that will pull him straight into the murky water of the harbor, he was determined to see it through. Because Inej deserves it, deserves his truth, especially after waiting so long.
The rest of breakfast is a short affair, with toast and eggs swiftly devoured and their coffee drained. Kaz leads the way out to the nearby chicken yard, releasing the hens from their coop once he's secured the gate and grabbed a bag of feed. Sating their initial swarm of hungry chaos, he passes the honors to Inej, completely amused by how much smaller she looks with a cluster of fluffy chickens by her ankles. He shows her how to toss the grain and pellets further, so the hens didn't box her in or peck her shins in spite.
With the feathery little demons sufficiently distracted, they collect about a dozen eggs into one of the nearby cartons. As a couple chickens make their way back into the coop, they take that as a signal to escape the penned in yard without further issue. The egg carton is deposited back in the kitchen and when they head out the door again, true enough, the sun has peeked well over the horizon, painting the fields yellow-orange. Kaz veers them off the path they'd taken to the hens, forking right instead, in the direction of the lake glinting in the near distance. ]
Da planted dill and parsley over there. [ He nods to a smaller plot of tilled land, with a wooden fence that looks freshly mended. ] Tried mint one year and it drove him nuts, sprouted up everywhere.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 12:58 am (UTC)she tries to imagine what kaz's father looked like -- tall, surely, given kaz's own stature. jordie was likely tall, too, though kaz hasn't ever described him. or his mother... kaz hasn't mentioned her since arriving. she knows that his mother died when he was young, so he may not remember at all. his father, though, kaz seems to have a clear memory of.
she tucks that observation away, instead saying: ]
My favorite type of tea. [ mint, that is, though it is an unruly weed, at best. mint, jasmine, with sweet honey. the perfect refreshing drink while trekking across ravka. ] He must have had his hands full, between the mint and two boys.
[ inej squeezes his fingers, in reassurance; kaz doesn't need to tread down that path of memory just yet. ]
Did you ever plant food? Aside from herbs.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 01:47 am (UTC)Two days later, they'd gone on a cramped lookout, their skinny bodies very nearly pressed together. He'd caught the scent of sugary mint on her breath, with a floral note as it dissipated, confirming his guess. ]
He always had his hands full, really. Long days, taking care of all this. Neither of us were much help until Jordie turned ten. [ Kaz had still been too young, too small to do any of the actual labor. He lets that wash over him, giving Inej's hand a little squeeze in return. ]
No, food crops require too much attention. [ One tiny bit of blight and the whole thing could go. ] Da only hired on help during the harvest: late spring and again in the fall. We, uh, grew flowers.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 07:47 pm (UTC)it startles her, a bit. one, kaz brekker the flower salesman... well, she supposes it wouldn't be too far off. kaz could make money doing anything, she was sure. but on a deeper level, she remembers sitting in the menagerie, attempting to be as invisible as possible. clinging to every possible memory of home, and how her father always seemed to produce her mother's favorite flowers. hidden in cupboards, in bags, to her great delight. and how she had always thought to herself that that was the mark of love, a boy who would fetch her not only flowers, but her favorite ones, without asking.
it's strange, now, to be here. it causes her stomach to sink for a moment, thinking how kaz could have been spared ketterdam had his life here just remained as it was before... whatever happened. but it's bittersweet, in a way, that the boy who does (to great excess) ensure that she always has her favorite flowers within arm's reach whenever they are together came from a farm full of them. like it was meant to be.
she's quiet for a moment before she slips her arm fully through his, hugging it briefly to her as they step past the mended fence, her cheek resting against his arm as they walk. ]
I didn't know such a thing existed. Flower farms. [ in retrospect, it's pretty obvious. the florists have to get their flowers from somewhere. ] It must be beautiful, when they are all in bloom.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 09:26 pm (UTC)So, he relaxes as she loops her arm through his, the warmth of her cheek bleeding through his shirt. ]
As long as the weather holds, we'll see the start of it, while we're here. [ Sometimes, spring could take a sudden turn towards the chill again. While it's been years since he's truly been back, he's never forgotten the bloom schedule. Or the handful of times it had been delayed by a couple of weeks, due to frost blowing in from the sea. ] Someone's got to make sure the rich merchers have things to put in their expensive vases.
[ Never mind that they could afford to spend frivolously, if they so wanted. ] The bulbs are worth a fortune, over in the Wandering Isle, if they don't rot on the ship. In case you ever want to make extra to fund your crusade.
[ Their worth has all but crashed in Kerch, aside from a few variations. ]
See those two fields, with the green sprouts? They'll be all over there. The two resting fields on the other side will be stalks of goldenrod, near the end of summer. [ This is easier, he thinks, than speaking of other things. But, maybe he doesn't have to jump into the deep water just yet. Remembering the small details is a comfort; it means something about the rest of his family still lives, so long as his memory of them does. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 10:04 pm (UTC)[ amused; of course this was why he had wanted to arrive in early spring. to catch the flowers right at the beginning of bloom. very romantic and dramatic, which felt right. following where he points, she makes note of where the hills lay on the horizon. with a bit of luck, they should be in full color within a few days.
she squeezes his arm again as they make their way down the slowly disintegrating path, though it was still a walked one. she could almost envision two little boys racing each other down to the lake, eager to be the first one to jump in on a hot summer day. her hand slides down his arm to take his hand in hers again, threading their fingers together. for additional comfort, and so kaz could have a more stable hold the closer to the lake that they got. ]
And hmm, I think I will let the tulips bloom here, and bring them to the city, instead. [ in their natural habitat, though inej will be sure to pay whoever wishes to sell her some more than what they are worth. ] Ketterdam needs all the color it can get.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 10:30 pm (UTC)Gratefully, he lets her thread their fingers together, as he picks his way along the trail stretched in front of them. For now, he has to watch for divots or rocks. As they draw closer to the lakebed, though, he knows the ground has a tendency to be richer, marshier. Easy to sink up the heel in. ]
What, not fond of our staid neutrals? [ Kaz teases, knowing very well how she thought of the drab greys and blacks that dominated most of the city. ] Can't hurl that at Barrel, at least.
[ Not towards most of the inhabitants, anyway. Barrel flash has remained consistent, a riot of lime green or searing pink or blinding turquoise. ]
See that willow, near the shore? Used to climb it, to read in peace. Or—when I was upset with either of them. [ Usually he'd be annoyed with Jordie, who'd had a tendency to open his mouth before thinking. ] First time I did it, Da grounded me for a week for scaring him half to death. He couldn't find me, thought I'd fallen in the lake or gotten lost.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 11:21 pm (UTC)her eyes follow where kaz is gesturing, to a beautiful weeping willow. the branches stretch so long that the leaves and flowers brush the surface of the water. it was beautiful, and quiet, and inej can just see a smaller version of kaz tucked stubbornly among the high branches. hidden away so he could be left to his own thoughts.
not much has changed, inej realizes, amused. and so she tugs his hand as she steps closer to the shore, toward the tree itself. ]
You haven't been lost a day in your life. [ with no small amount of amusement as they near the tree, her steps careful to avoid anything too marshy or soggy. it wouldn't do to fall into the lake, which inej was certain was still freezing. ] Falling in, though... hm.
[ well. a young child may not know how to swim, but it was kerch. an island. inej would think all of them would know at least the basics, being so close to shore no matter where you were in the country. she considers that for a moment, almost asking... but then she tilts her head back to look at him, somewhat unimpressed. ]
I can't imagine you being obedient enough to respect a grounding.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: