timewasting | OPEN POST 2020.

[ inej was already out of her shoes -- the only thing she had left was her hair, as she shook out the plait. and while she feels temporarily victorious at kaz's dropping of the subject of trust, her fingers pause in combing out her hair at his question.

truthfully, she isn't sure. it's jumping off a cliff that she hasn't yet tested, to see how she feels, sharing space in such an intimate way. but eventually, you need to just jump. ]

I will tell you if I am not.

[ reassuringly, as she shakes out the rest of her hair. and she adds, honestly: ]

I think I will sleep better, with you here, than with you elsewhere on the ship.

[ she would rather know he's safe here, than freaking out somewhere else. ]

[ He knows she'll say something if she's uncomfortable. Truthfully, he's gotten fairly good at sensing when she's having one of her moments, when she's thinking about her past. Just as she knows when he's receding back into those horrible moments in the harbor.

Still, they've been pushing the boundary, little by little. As much as sharing a bed with her fills him with anxiety, there's a part of him that's glad to. It puts them a little closer than usual, something like when he's given her a hug. ]

Do you want me to brush that out? [ He starts unbuttoning his vest and shrugs it off but doesn't make any further moves to undress. ]

[ she’s come to expect Kaz’s volunteer by now — why he enjoys her hair so much, inej has no idea. and the question distracts her from the unbuttoning of his vest while seated on her bed— the moment almost causing inej to tip into the tides of memory. ]

Sure.

[ easily, as she gestures toward the bolted down end table next to her bed. ]

My brush is in there.

[ The vest gets draped in his lap for now and he leans down to tuck his shoes under the lip of the bed, making sure he wouldn't trip on them come morning. Inej indicates where her brush is and he opens the drawer, pulling it out. Really, he isn't sure what his fascination with her hair is, but it's the one thing he's been aware for a while. He's liked the shine on her braid and the sway of it when she walks for as long as he can remember.

Even if he wasn't willing to admit as much until recently.

There's also the matter of it being a part of her he can touch without worrying. Just like he can hold her hand without revulsion, her hair is safe. ]

Come here, then.

[ she watches him fetch the brush and she soon unfolds her legs to shift around, so her hair is well within his reach. she rests her hands in her lap, fingers intertwining with one another as she closes her eyes.

relaxing. finding something calming in having her hair brushed. ]

Do you think you could climb to the crow’s nest?

[ said absently. ]

[ She's close enough that he can feel a bit of warmth radiating off of her. As he starts to gently pull the brush through her hair, he feels a similar calming effect. He's tempted to lean forward and press his face to it but he keeps brushing instead, getting all the tangles out bit by bit. ]

Probably. The netting helps. Why?

You should see the view.

[ quietly, her eyes closed as Kaz goes through her hair. ]

It will make you feel insignificant, but powerful.

[ it is (with no surprise) Inej’s favorite part of her ship. ]

You can see everything, to the end of the world.

Like the spires of Ghezen's church?

[ Though probably even better, out on the ocean. No buildings blocking the view or breaking it up along the way to the harbor.

With her braid having just been undone, there aren't as many tangles to brush through, so he ends up brushing it for a few more strokes just because he can. Because he likes the weight of it on his hands. Leaning forward, he presses his forehead to the back of her neck, her hair in the way of the skin. A little affectionate nudge before he leans away again and puts the brush away. ]

I have to change.

Better.

[ she says, a faint smile appearing as she feels a weight against the back of her neck, the small action of affection not unnoticed. and at his statement, she doesn't move. ]

Go ahead. [ and then, she continues, after a small pause. ] It makes you feel small. But in a good way.

[ it's humbling, and awe-inspiring. ]

It's freeing.

[ Really, he's not eager to part from being so close. But he does need to change out of these clothes—he's fallen asleep in a dress shirt before and it's not exactly comfortable.

So he manages to pry himself away, untucking his shirt and undressing. He pulls on sleeping pants and a shirt, turning her words over in his head. Vast and freeing. The ocean was freedom to her, full of possibility. A future she's already begun to build on.

In the morning, he'll climb up to the crow's nest. ]

Don't most things make you feel small? [ Sorry Inej, that was too easy. He flips back the covers on one side of the bed, sliding under them and trying to ignore just how close she'll be. ]

Ah, like how most things make you feel slow.

[ without missing a beat, as she tosses him a look once she feels him sink into the bed, and inej turns to settle against the pillows herself, but she doesn't slip under the covers just yet. she just sits there, stretch out her legs and crossing them at the ankles, tone dry. ]

I almost had ramps installed to make it easier for you to get below deck.

[ Her retort makes him laugh, a short and dry sound, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. Trust her not to think of his old injury as sacred, as something to avoid.

As she settles against the pillows, he turns to face her, head tilted up, amusement still clear in his expression. ]

Stairs aren't so bad. These aren't crooked, at least. [ Oh, also: ] And there aren't three flights of them.

[ there are a lot of things inej avoids, when talking to kaz. both delicately and not. but his leg has never really been one of them, mostly because it doesn't seem to bother him that much.

besides, a dose of humility is good for him. probably. but the comment about the three flights prompts a roll of her eyes as she looks down at him, unimpressed. ]

And who put your office and room on the top floor?

[ eyebrows arched, as she reaches out to gently brush a piece of hair out of his eyes. ]

Because I am pretty sure it was you.

The silence up there is worth it.

[ It's private, which is really what he wanted. But he also gets more work done without the louder sounds of the Slat echoing through the first and second floors. Not much reaches its way up to the attic.

As she reaches out, he tilts his face towards her hand, liking the casual nature of it. ]

Besides, I know someone who likes to climb through the window. [ She wouldn't be able to make nearly as many dramatic entrances if she had to knock on a door. And climbing through a first floor window is a cinch for just about anyone. ]

You had the attic before I climbed through the window.

[ mildly, as she lets her fingers run along his cheek. and she lets her hand drop next to him, giving him a knowing look. ]

And my point is that you cannot complain about a situation that you deliberately created.

[ so there!! ]

Maybe I keep it because you do.

[ He runs the Dregs now, he could have any room he wants. Possibly he could even move out, have a space that's completely his—it's not like he's lacking the funds for it. For now though, he likes it. There's space and quiet, despite the long walk up. ]

I'd rather complain about the stairs than the noise. [ He takes hold of her dropped hand, pressing his cheek to the backs of her fingers, wanting the bit of touch for once. ]

[ she allows her hand to be brushed against his cheek, and she smiles at him thoughtfully. ]

There is no shortage of noise, here.

[ it's a small space, and you hear most things. but the sound of the ocean is soothing on most nights, and tends to drown everything else out.

but after she says that, inej lets go of his hand to shift, so she can slide underneath the quilt too, turning so she can face him, her cheek resting against her pillow as she watches him.

step one is achieved, at the very least. and she remains still for a moment before she reaches out to take his hand again, squeezing his fingers. ]

What do you think awaits us in Ravka?

I don't have to concentrate on plans here.

[ Or on balancing the books for the club. He's good at numbers but trying to do them when he can hear shouting and raucous laughter can be annoying.

He lets go of her hand as she moves, a bit of nervousness spiking when she lays down and turns to face him. This feels so intimate, so little space between them; he's tempted to shift closer as much as he's repulsed by the idea. Still, he doesn't pull away when she takes his hand again. ]

I'm not even sure. Cold weather? [ That seems to be the one thing that sticks in his mind about that country. ]

Snow. Potential revolution.

[ just a standard tuesday in ravka, probably. she runs her thumb over his knuckles in thought. the sway of the ship is comforting, relaxing, soothing. it's enough to quell the nerves, about being so close. ]

Do you think the King will know we are there?

[ inej didn't exactly, you know, advertise. but nikolai (or whatever name he's using nowadays) might have eyes everywhere. you never know. ]

Hasn't it been in revolution since it's inception?

[ Even as a child he remembers hearing off-hand comments from his father about it. And once in Ketterdam, it was in the news. What didn't make it to the news he got through word of mouth, though most of it was how in debt Ravka was to Kerch. ]

Can't imagine he'll want either of us to go unknown. Someone will get word back to him. [ Whether Sturmhond—Nikolai, whatever—did anything about it was a different story. He's got other problems to tackle than to visit two teens he'd briefly met in Ketterdam.

Kaz adjusts the curl of his fingers, lifting her hand so he can brush a kiss to the back of it. He's nervous about the closeness but the want is starting to win out in increments, revulsion stamped down in favor of seeking out her touch. ]

Probably.

[ inej's people have really no love lost, for what has happened in ravka. they always seem to lose, no matter who is in charge. but ravka is home . . . insomuch as inej was born there, and traveled there, and her people still claim land there.

but as kaz kisses the back of her hand, she's distracted into a faint smile, eyes brightening. the constant testing of waters is almost exciting, now, and even she can see that kaz is slowly warming up to the idea of contact. ]

Do you feel better?

[ she asks, as she watches him, her hand still in his. ]

About leaving Ketterdam.

[ With his mind cooperating for once, he wants to push where he can. So he settles her hand on his cheek, like she'd done months before, his thumb stroking over her knuckles slowly. It's something like a build up, testing how much he can tolerate and each time getting further and further. This touch isn't quite new but him seeking it out is and he's hoping he won't feel that unwanted but familiar lurch in his stomach from it. ]

I'm here with you. [ Meaning: he'll get over it. Give him a week and he'll think about it less. ]

[ there's a tug in her chest, at the statement. and inej knows that she probably shouldn't let herself be so swayed by such a thing, but it causes a warmth in her chest, directly underneath her ribs.

so she grins a little, running a thumb over the curve of his cheek, nose wrinkling. ]

You should go to sleep.

[ it's said quietly, watching him.

but she doesn't pull her hand away, or make any move to close her eyes herself. ]

And relax.

[ for the first time in years. likely. ]

[ In the dim light, he can see the pull of her grin, can hear it in her voice when she tells him to go to sleep. She doesn't move away though, nor does she seem intent on resting herself just yet. ]

So should you, captain. [ Inej will need it more than he does, here. She's got a whole ship to look after and slavers to follow; neither are easy work. ]

Can I try something?

I will be fine.

[ so used to operating on minimal sleep in the barrel. she's positively well-rested, here. but at his question, she watches him in the low light, searching his features, curious. ]

Sure.

[ after a moment; a little less quick to agree, perhaps, than the other times kaz has asked that question. but nontheless meant. ]

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