[ Her spine straightens, shoulders squaring up. But there isn't the fight in her face like he'd been expecting—the one he's been seeing glimpses of over the past couple weeks as she's slowly crawled out of her shell.
No, this is tension, the kind that goes hand in hand with a sinking stomach. At first he thinks maybe she's seen Heleen or someone she recognizes, a patron of the Menagerie. But no, that isn't it.
It was his own damn comment.
Part of him sneers. Serves her right for trying to talk back. The other part just feels anxious, like he's stepped too far and burnt a bridge. And Kaz Brekker had long ago purged I'm sorry from his vocabulary. So he says nothing, letting the now uncomfortable silence drape over them both.
When the waffles finish, carefully wrapped in waxed paper, he hands hers over, noting the lack of toppings. Hm. ]
Eat on the roof when we get back and stay clear until I come get you. Haskell will take some time to see reason.
[ she says nothing, as she takes her waffle, the warmth bleeding through the wax paper. silently frustrated at herself. why was she so upset over a stupid word?
she had mouthed off, but she had done so since arriving here. what was the difference now? they were in public? but no, it wasn’t the push back that bothered her, but the comment itself.
letting it bother her was pointless. being upset over a stupid comment was only going to get her killed faster. if she was going to survive, she needed to be tougher than that.
as they leave, her eyes catch the boy with the waffle she had wanted, the treat now long since gone. it had looked delicious, too. ][
The roof.
[ finally, her tone level in agreement, as she slows her steps, at an alleyway jutting off from the street. and just as the word leaves her lips, she’s gone from sight, already melting into the shadows to take the quick way to the slat. ]
[ They walk together for only a brief period before she slows her steps, agreeing to his comment. And then she's gone, melting into the shadows. If he didn't know better, he'd think she was imaginary, a strange figment of his mind. He lingers at the mouth of the alley for half a beat, simply admiring how easy it had been for her.
Then he's moving on, because he has other things to do. Things that don't involve coddling her small feelings about waffles.
(Of course, he's never been good at letting anything go, so he's in a right mood when he arrives at the Slat).
He eats his dinner in the dining hall, tucked in a corner, as he considers his words for Haskell. His annoyance bleeds into his thoughts and countenance as usual and the Dregs steer well clear of him. Composure back in place, he walks straight into Haskell's office, who gestures for him to close the door.
And they certainly have it out. There's no shouting, not on his part at least, because meeting Per Haskell's tone gets him exactly nowhere. It also doesn't keep him in control-which make no mistake, he certainly is, even as he bites his tongue and sucks up. It works out exactly how he'd explained it to Inej earlier. Menial tasks, grunt work, taking orders direct from Haskell instead of having the freedom to cook up his own schemes.
It won't stop him from thinking of them, but he knows the old man won't hear a single thing until he decides to forgive.
After, he finds Inej on the roof and gives her a curt go ahead, letting her know it was clear enough she could probably be alright if she wanted to wander downstairs.
That's about all he sees of her for two days straight. Haskell makes good on his promise to keep him busy enough to drop, some older Dregs occasionally stopping by to rub it in his face. Which never lasts long, a good long stare sending them scurrying off.
As for Inej, she seems to be working on making herself as invisible as possible to him. He can always tell when she's around, that prickling feeling settling between his shoulder blades. But they're ships passing in the night; her leaving a room as he comes into it and vice versa. He can tell she's doing it on purpose and it's just as annoying as her injured feelings at the waffle stand.
He's thinking it can't last much longer as he sits down to lunch with Jesper—they have too much ground to cover still. She needs to learn to use a knife, so she could start joining the Dregs in the street fights. And so she can defend herself without him being nearby. But she's insistent on being a ghost, a wraith, and trying to catch her is a bit like trying to hold water. ]
[ the first thing she does when she gets back to the slat is actually not go to the roof, but to sneak to the kitchens. she isn't sure why she does it immediately, but something in her decides enough is enough.
if she was going to survive, she needed to do things on her own. remaining in kaz's shadow (however apt it was) was not going to do any good. if people were going to take her seriously (like haskell, or anyone else in this dark building), then they needed to know that inej was just as capable of acting on her own as anyone else.
cornering the cook had been relatively easy. kaz brekker's reputation is much scarier than her own, and as inej is already known as "the weird girl who follows dirtyhands around," she sees no issue in using that to her advantage. so it takes only a handful of moments for the kitchen staff to agree to help her, and it only costs her a promise of covering no more than three shifts in the future if they need her.
after that, she made it to the roof before kaz had found her. her instruction that she could go downstairs if she wants is taken silently, and inej slips off the roof to steal silently to her room, sliding through the slim window to land on her cot. and she remained there for the rest of the evening, until the early hours of the morning, when she waited until she heard kaz go to bed (or, at the very least, lay down).
the next two hours were among the most painful that she had experienced in a long time. the cook had given her a sling of whiskey and a piece of leather to bite down on, which inej appreciated. the cook had advised that she look away, but inej kept her eyes fixated on her arm during the whole process. every single cut into her skin just felt empowering. and though the pain was excruciating, inej had bitten into the leather and not made a sound, less she wake up or alert anyone else on the lower floor of the slat. by the end of it, her arm mangled and bloody, inej had simply told the cook thank you, wrapping the wound in bandages on her own.
he had told her not to worry about covering the shifts.
she had mostly remained in her room the day after, to recover, before doing odd jobs around the slat. purposefully rising early in the morning, to earn spare money on the side, while also avoiding kaz. after a solid day of cleaning dishes and cutting food, the cook seems to take pity on her, and gives her some extra money. more than enough to buy herself some boots that fit, with room for two waffles.
so when kaz and jesper eat lunch, inej enters the hall carrying, quite possibly, the most ridiculously overloaded waffle in existence. and she sits down in front of kaz without a word, sliding a few kruge across the table to sit in front of him, before she rolls up her sleeves to tuck into her pile of whipped cream, chocolate, and strawberries.
it tastes absolutely heavenly. the best thing she has eaten in years. it's enough to almost bring tears to her eyes, if she were that type of person. but the ache in her arm is enough to keep her focused on the task at hand, and so she cuts into the waffle with great purpose. ]
[ Jesper is partway through explaining how a game of Three Man Bramble went down at the club last night, hands animated and only taking a pause to eat, when Inej plops herself down across from them both. The story interrupts immediately as Jes greets her, laughing as he takes in the stack of waffles in front of her.
Kaz only has to stare for a moment, flummoxed by her paying him back. Literally and figuratively. And then he's annoyed again, as he pockets the kruge. She didn't need to go out of her way. After all, she could've have the damn waffles with the cream and everything two days ago if she'd just gotten over her soft feelings.
Which brings him to another point: they have ground to cover. ]
How soon can you use that arm again?
[ He's not going to ask how it feels, because he imagines it's painful. That stinging sensation of a fresh wound. She'll recover but they can't wait till it's completely healed up. It works out, since she'll need to learn to use her other arm anyway. ]
[ she doesn't answer kaz immediately, instead methodically devouring her waffles. intent on cleaning her plate, and while she doesn't eat ravenously, she eats with great purpose.
it takes about five minutes to complete the stack of waffles, carefully scraping the cream off of her plate to lick the fork. and right when she seems to consider answering kaz's question, she reaches for her cup, to drink her water.
jesper fills the silence with a bit of a laugh and collects his plate up, commenting that he's late for his shift. inej glances in his direction, expression dubious; she knows full well he has no shift, but says nothing about it as he pats her shoulder on the way past, offering a slight salute in kaz's direction to say bye.
the touch causes her shoulders to stiffen slightly, but inej shoves down the momentary feeling of anxiety to refocus on what was asked of her. ]
The Black Tips are planning an expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ as she sets down her cup, levelling her gaze toward his, expression neutral. a trip to the lid had proven useful, in getting the kitchen what they needed for supplies for extra money, and also in eavesdropping with some loud drunkard who elected to take on liquor at three in the afternoon.
she had had to scale a few market stands to stay hidden, but it had been worth it. tomatoes purchased, not harassed by a rival gang, and information (with a grain of salt) gathered. her arm is aching, but she ignores it. her (admittedly petty and stupid) point has been made. ]
[ Instead of answering, she continues to tuck in to her pile of waffles. He watches, a bit sour over the silence, as the food disappears with a certain methodical relish. Jesper attempts to break the tension, as he usually does, and then decides to depart, making up some excuse to not be between the two of them any longer.
He takes off with a lazy salute and a pat to Inej's shoulder. Kaz catches her flinch and feels a modicum less annoyance. ]
The Black Tips are always planning expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ Them and the Razorgulls. Pekka's Dime Lions haven't encroached in lately, though. He's probably biding his time. ]
Geels' brains could fit in a matchbox. [ Suffice to say, he isn't worried. Though she's given him a few things just now: that she's capable of climbing and listening even with her arm the way it is, the Black Tips are planning something, and that it'll probably be soon.
They aren't known for playing the long game. None of their higher ups have the patience. ]
[ it's said without hesitation, as she finishes off the water in her cup, setting the glass down on the table once she's done. she fixes him with a long stare, scanning his features for a moment. ]
If I fail, so do you.
[ the words are said simply, as she settles back into her seat, delicately rolling down her sleeves. mindful, as always, to keep her wrist turned inward, so he cannot see the words written there. ]
Haskell might find you useful, but your hands don't make enough money to pay off what I owe. You are just as bound to my debt as I am. So I know that you are not going to harm me or send me back to the Menagerie, because doing that would mean you failed. And I imagine Haskell doesn't appreciate failure.
[ she shrugs her thin shoulders, fixing him with a frown. ]
I have no intention of failing. Or risking your head to save mine. I won't stab you in the back. And I won't abandon my debt, or sell what I can offer to the highest bidder. Because, like it or not, we have to be a team in order to survive.
[ inej pauses, there. it's very clear that she has thought about saying this extensively for the last two days. it's also very clear that she's not comfortable speaking this much. but her brow furrows slightly, before glancing at her empty plate. ]
I will be ready at eight bells tomorrow morning, if you can drag yourself from your bed to teach me how to remove your tongue.
[ Almost painfully so. He'd gone out on a limb, a hunch, that having her in the Dregs would pay off. The Dime Lions may have the best spider in the Barrel, but he doesn't think he'll have that title for much longer. Not when Inej finally hits her stride.
It's another long game, something he knows Haskell has little patience for. He wants results, wants the payoff, even if he's not willing to put the work in. Which is why he sends Kaz off to do it for him.
So while Haskell certainly doesn't appreciate failure, he has some confidence that he'll survive a resulting storm should this fall through. It would be an uncomfortable position, though, and set him back on his plans. ]
I won't send you back, but that isn't my decision. I'm capable of weathering Haskell—I've made that old man enough money.
[ And made sure the Slat wasn't falling down around their ears. The boss would be hard pressed to find someone to replace him, at this point, even if he occasionally wants to. ]
I told you the Barrel wouldn't be kind. Flouncing off for two days because your feelings are hurt isn't going to cut it. You're going to hear that and worse, much worse, and it's either survive or don't.
[ She may have dealt with one monster, but the Barrel is full of them, in every shape and size. ]
So don't come preaching to me about teamwork; I can survive a failure, you're not in a position to.
Sulking for two days because you cannot handle being told you are wrong is not going to cut it, either. I have been working; you have been stewing in your anger because I did not tolerate your attitude.
[ it's said coolly, folding her arms over her chest, not looking away as she levels her gaze. she had allowed her feelings to be hurt, that much is true, but he was the one who allowed it to get to him. she had cut out her tattoo and bought a new pair of boots.
she rises to her feet, dusting off her hands before collecting her plate, stacking the cup on top. ]
Do not lecture me about survival, Kaz Brekker.
[ she adds, casting a glance toward the clock on the wall. she needed to add more balm to her wound, to continue to fight back infection. time to rest until the evening. ]
I could ruin half the lives the mercher men you loathe, given their want to rape little girls during their lunch hour before returning home to their wives and sons.
[ she steps around her chair, pushing it back in against the table with her hip. ]
I will see you at eight bells. Unless you would rather continue to be angry with me, and in that case, I will make other plans.
I can ruin them plenty, you'll just expedite the process.
[ It's faster to destroy a merch when equipped with all the proper information. He has his contacts and runners, but no full spy. No unseen eyes and ears, silent as a cat. The merchers wouldn't even know what hit them. ]
Don't mistake my annoyance with anger, they're not the same. [ Truthfully, it's rare he feels the burn of white hot anger. His temper usually isn't from fury, it's from aggravation. A thousand little stupid things to tolerate. He waves her off with: ]
Go on then. I'll be there.
[ In the meantime, he has things to do. And maybe some skiv to shake down so he can clear the feeling of his hackles being raised. ]
If you could ruin them plenty on your own, then why are they still here?
[ she responds mildly, but she doesn't bother waiting for a response, instead turning her back to walk away, her braid falling neatly against her spine. he can see her tipping the dishes into a waiting receptable, offering a warm hello to the cook in the kitchens -- and then, she's gone.
down a hallway, or upstairs, or outside, who knows. but vanishes amongst the bustle of people without so much as a trace. ]
[ The thing is, she is as infuriating as she is quick. Not only is she stealthy with fast steps, she picks up on things with ease. And determination.
Despite their spat in the middle of the dining room, he had shown up the next morning at the time she'd picked. Just to show her that he could. There'd also been a matter of his night being unrestful, thoughts spinning like Makker's Wheel. He hadn't been able to stop the looped deluge and found himself drifting in and out, dreams—if they could be called that—fitful and lurid.
So when dawn fully crested, he'd dragged himself out of bed to their first lesson in fighting with a knife. He'd let her borrow his pocket knife, wanting to start off on something easy to carry and wield.
Over the next few weeks, she'd shown him exceptional promise. He hadn't needed to repeat himself much, only on the trickier bits like the overhand to underhand strike. By this point, he can't teach her any more, having imparted all his knowledge.
Of course, she can't continue to borrow his knives. It's impractical. Part of him also feels bad, still, for being fairly cruel about his comment on her waffle a few weeks past.
Not that he'll admit it. He does still think she's a bit soft.
Either way, it's what brings him to ask her up to his room. Office, really. He'd seen it and had known it should belong to her. ]
[ she's reached something of an understanding with herself, about kaz brekker. that she's bound to him, for better or for worse, but she was not going to tolerate his absurd attitude problem. she needed to play the game in order to win, but she wasn't going to sacrifice who she was in order to do it.
so - she did as she was told, when it came to haskell. but with kaz, she disagreed. she pushed. she drew lines. and for the most part, he seemed to hate that, but he had continued to teach her. and had continued to show her the most effective way to defend herself. and, though he hadn't used the words, to kill.
they've reached a relatively easy schedule. and inej's arm is well on its way to fully healing, though she still keeps it wrapped and balmed. the scarring is going to be awful, but she doesn't care. it's prettier to look at than the brand that heleen had forced upon her skin.
on this day, though, kaz had asked her to meet him upstairs following a shift. and she obliges, though a little confused as to why. she doesn't bother going up the stairs, instead scaling the wall to slip in through the window with the broken lock, carrying a bag.
waffles, from his favorite stand in the lid. a peace offering, maybe. or maybe she just wanted to try them. ]
You should fix your window.
[ she says mildly, slipping inside to land silently on the floor, depositing the bag of food on his desk as she brushes back the hood of the jacket she recently bought. comfortable and able to climb in. ]
[ He has noticed she's taken to going in through windows rather than using doors like everyone else. Well, he supposes it keeps her in practice for going up and down buildings. And is more expedient than walking around on ground level.
In some ways, he's come to expect her arrival through his window. Which is what she does now, swinging in effortlessly and depositing a bag on his desk. ]
If someone else can climb three stories through my window without my notice, I'm likely to hire them.
[ It's not a skill everyone possesses. Especially the bit about being quiet during the whole affair. ]
What's this? [ He hadn't expected her to bring anything but herself. ]
[ with a shrug, as she settles herself into a chair to wait for him to get what he wants from the bag. it had been something of a pain to go across the city to get it from this specific stand, but she had had a little bit extra time today to make the trip.
mostly because, on reflection, she would get nowhere in befriending (or whatever this relationship is supposed to be) kaz brekker by constantly being difficult. besides, being angry was exhausting. being nice was much easier.
and, most importantly: ]
I haven't eaten yet, and I didn't want to find food later. So whatever you need to talk to me about can happen over food.
[ she's half-wondering what else she screwed up, truth be told, but kaz appears to be in a halfway-decent mood. ]
She does present a logical argument though. It's late in the day for them both, but especially for her because she's usually up much earlier than him. Up with the sun and birds.
He doesn't see a reason to refuse, so he does open the bag, pulling one of the wrapped items out. It's waffles, naturally, a thing they both share. But he can tell by the wrapping that it's from the Lid. The one he almost never gets out to, despite it being his favorite.
Glancing up, he catches her gaze, studying her face for a moment.
And then he doesn't dig in right away, pulling a wrapped rectangular package out from his desk drawer and setting it in front of her on the desk. ]
[ he seems to be looking for an explanation as to why she bothered, and inej arches her eyebrows as he studies her face. ]
It is not poisoned.
[ she says mildly, stretching out an arm to take a waffle out of the bag once he's gotten one of his own. she picked out a relatively plain one, too, mostly because her waffle doesn't really travel well. and inej is about to settle back to eat when kaz pulls out a package and puts it on the desk.
a . . . gift? or: ]
What is it?
[ she doesn't move to take it just yet, brow furrowed slightly as she glances at him, confused. ]
[ At that, he settles back in his seat, unfolding the wrapping from his waffle. ]
It's not going to bite.
[ Not if she didn't want it to, anyway. And somehow he doubts she'll decide to pull it on him, even if she would technically have an opening to do so in here.
But as she said, they're basically in this together. He's tied to her contract just as much as she is, since he'd put his neck on the line for her possibility of freedom. It was going to be work for them both to get her enough money to pay it off, but it was certainly a better deal than the one Heleen had forced her into. The one she couldn't even read as it had been in Kerch.
This one she had been able to read. And could always go back to read again, if she was worried about terms changing. He doesn't think Haskell will, though. As long as the old man gets his kruge, he'll be happy. ]
[ she still seems a little puzzled, at that, but she does set her wrapped waffle back on his desk in exchange for the box. her fingers slide underneath the paper, undoing it neatly. clearly not one to mindlessly tear open presents, but carefully dismantle them to save the paper.
as she unfolds the wrapping to reveal a wooden box, she opens it to reveal a knife. the craftsmanship is beautiful, the blade easily able to fit in her smaller hands. the handle looks like it would fit perfectly against her palm. but she doesn't remove it, quite yet.
not every act of kindness is a trick, inej. but: ]
I cannot afford this.
[ she says quietly, eyes flickering back up to meet his. and while she doesn't say it, the meaning in her eyes is fairly clear. she won't have another dime added to her tab to work off; whatever she has, she'll pay for herself. ]
[ She looks confused. Maybe a little concerned. It makes sense, Heleen isn't known to be gracious or generous, not unless it's with her temper or beatings. He slowly starts in on his waffle as she carefully opens the wrapping and then the box, not wanting her to feel like he's staring her down while she does.
There's a pause after she lifts the lid off the box, as though she isn't sure what to do with it. ]
You should have your own means of defense. It won't go on your contract.
[ Keeping herself alive is payment enough, right? It would be stupid to buy out her contract and then never give her any of the tools with which to make it in the Barrel. He'd told Haskell she'd be a great spider and that's what he'll get. That's what they'll all get. She already has a reputation because she's been around him, but he knows she'll have her own. One like his, armor to pull on—no one will want to touch her again.
[ it won't go on your contract, which meant . . . he was giving her a gift?
her first instinct is to not trust it, but common sense overrides the paranoia almost immediately. kaz brekker was an arrogant brat on most days, but not one to lie to her. or hold something over her head, or expect anything more of her than what was already in their deal. so - if he says it won't go on the contract, then it won't.
so she wraps her fingers around the handle experimentally, lifting the knife out of the box. it's light, and she can tell it's perfectly balanced even without removing the blade from the sheath. it's beautiful, in a bizarre way. she never thought she would think that of a knife.
for the first time in what feels like years, a genuine smile curves her lips as she looks up at him again, clearly appreciative. ]
[ She can call it a gift but really, it's just practical. For them both.
Still, his gaze flicks up as she takes the knife out of the box, her grip sure but almost reverent. There's a tip of her hand as she tests the balance of it. The handle fits well, small enough for her to grip but big enough it won't cramp her hand or slip.
Maybe the bone handle is a little morbid, but it felt fitting, somehow.
When she looks up, he catches her gaze, feeling a wash of warmth when she smiles. It isn't one of her small ones, the rare times he's seen one ghosting on her mouth. This one is wider, genuine, and it lights up her whole face. ]
Can't have you using a toothpick for a knife.
[ Not like the pocket knife she'd been using occasionally. ]
[ belatedly, she's glad she made the trip to the lid to get the waffles. it pales in comparison to the knife, but at least the token of appreciation was given.
she unsheathes the knife, the glint of the blade pristine. it's sharp, the silvery blade perfectly suited against the white-bone of the handle. she can nearly see her reflection in the metal.
inej sheaths the blade again, her smile still on her features before she carefully sets it back in the box, mindful not to scuff anything. sometimes, inej wondered whether the words on her wrist were a blessing or a curse. there were days where she was certain kaz hated her. but there was some good in there, underneath whatever harmed him. little bits of light, peeking through the forced darkness.
today is a good day. an excellent one, really.
she sets the box back on his desk so she could get her waffle, to join him in dinner. she's reluctant to let go of the blade, but it seems silly to let her dinner get cold. especially after the journey she took to go get it. ]
[ She takes a few more moments to study the craftsmanship, unsheathing the blade and checking the metal. There's still a smile on her face, features lighting up in a way that...well, improves his mood, somewhat. He tries not to think about it.
The knife gets sheathed once more and she sets the blade back into its box with care. ]
Found it. [ And he'd honestly been a little surprised to find something that had such perfect proportions for her. Small enough to be hidden easily, sharp enough to get any job done. Because he had wanted assurance that when she stuck someone, it wasn't going to be like hacking away. A dull knife is a painful way to go but slow and useless in a fight.
He settles in with his waffles as well, leaning forward in his chair so he doesn't drop anything. ]
The shopkeep mentioned it should go to someone who knew how to use it.
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no subject
Date: 2021-01-03 03:20 am (UTC)No, this is tension, the kind that goes hand in hand with a sinking stomach. At first he thinks maybe she's seen Heleen or someone she recognizes, a patron of the Menagerie. But no, that isn't it.
It was his own damn comment.
Part of him sneers. Serves her right for trying to talk back. The other part just feels anxious, like he's stepped too far and burnt a bridge. And Kaz Brekker had long ago purged I'm sorry from his vocabulary. So he says nothing, letting the now uncomfortable silence drape over them both.
When the waffles finish, carefully wrapped in waxed paper, he hands hers over, noting the lack of toppings. Hm. ]
Eat on the roof when we get back and stay clear until I come get you. Haskell will take some time to see reason.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-03 03:35 am (UTC)she had mouthed off, but she had done so since arriving here. what was the difference now? they were in public? but no, it wasn’t the push back that bothered her, but the comment itself.
letting it bother her was pointless. being upset over a stupid comment was only going to get her killed faster. if she was going to survive, she needed to be tougher than that.
as they leave, her eyes catch the boy with the waffle she had wanted, the treat now long since gone. it had looked delicious, too. ][
The roof.
[ finally, her tone level in agreement, as she slows her steps, at an alleyway jutting off from the street. and just as the word leaves her lips, she’s gone from sight, already melting into the shadows to take the quick way to the slat. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-03 04:26 am (UTC)Then he's moving on, because he has other things to do. Things that don't involve coddling her small feelings about waffles.
(Of course, he's never been good at letting anything go, so he's in a right mood when he arrives at the Slat).
He eats his dinner in the dining hall, tucked in a corner, as he considers his words for Haskell. His annoyance bleeds into his thoughts and countenance as usual and the Dregs steer well clear of him. Composure back in place, he walks straight into Haskell's office, who gestures for him to close the door.
And they certainly have it out. There's no shouting, not on his part at least, because meeting Per Haskell's tone gets him exactly nowhere. It also doesn't keep him in control-which make no mistake, he certainly is, even as he bites his tongue and sucks up. It works out exactly how he'd explained it to Inej earlier. Menial tasks, grunt work, taking orders direct from Haskell instead of having the freedom to cook up his own schemes.
It won't stop him from thinking of them, but he knows the old man won't hear a single thing until he decides to forgive.
After, he finds Inej on the roof and gives her a curt go ahead, letting her know it was clear enough she could probably be alright if she wanted to wander downstairs.
That's about all he sees of her for two days straight. Haskell makes good on his promise to keep him busy enough to drop, some older Dregs occasionally stopping by to rub it in his face. Which never lasts long, a good long stare sending them scurrying off.
As for Inej, she seems to be working on making herself as invisible as possible to him. He can always tell when she's around, that prickling feeling settling between his shoulder blades. But they're ships passing in the night; her leaving a room as he comes into it and vice versa. He can tell she's doing it on purpose and it's just as annoying as her injured feelings at the waffle stand.
He's thinking it can't last much longer as he sits down to lunch with Jesper—they have too much ground to cover still. She needs to learn to use a knife, so she could start joining the Dregs in the street fights. And so she can defend herself without him being nearby. But she's insistent on being a ghost, a wraith, and trying to catch her is a bit like trying to hold water. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-03 02:43 pm (UTC)if she was going to survive, she needed to do things on her own. remaining in kaz's shadow (however apt it was) was not going to do any good. if people were going to take her seriously (like haskell, or anyone else in this dark building), then they needed to know that inej was just as capable of acting on her own as anyone else.
cornering the cook had been relatively easy. kaz brekker's reputation is much scarier than her own, and as inej is already known as "the weird girl who follows dirtyhands around," she sees no issue in using that to her advantage. so it takes only a handful of moments for the kitchen staff to agree to help her, and it only costs her a promise of covering no more than three shifts in the future if they need her.
after that, she made it to the roof before kaz had found her. her instruction that she could go downstairs if she wants is taken silently, and inej slips off the roof to steal silently to her room, sliding through the slim window to land on her cot. and she remained there for the rest of the evening, until the early hours of the morning, when she waited until she heard kaz go to bed (or, at the very least, lay down).
the next two hours were among the most painful that she had experienced in a long time. the cook had given her a sling of whiskey and a piece of leather to bite down on, which inej appreciated. the cook had advised that she look away, but inej kept her eyes fixated on her arm during the whole process. every single cut into her skin just felt empowering. and though the pain was excruciating, inej had bitten into the leather and not made a sound, less she wake up or alert anyone else on the lower floor of the slat. by the end of it, her arm mangled and bloody, inej had simply told the cook thank you, wrapping the wound in bandages on her own.
he had told her not to worry about covering the shifts.
she had mostly remained in her room the day after, to recover, before doing odd jobs around the slat. purposefully rising early in the morning, to earn spare money on the side, while also avoiding kaz. after a solid day of cleaning dishes and cutting food, the cook seems to take pity on her, and gives her some extra money. more than enough to buy herself some boots that fit, with room for two waffles.
so when kaz and jesper eat lunch, inej enters the hall carrying, quite possibly, the most ridiculously overloaded waffle in existence. and she sits down in front of kaz without a word, sliding a few kruge across the table to sit in front of him, before she rolls up her sleeves to tuck into her pile of whipped cream, chocolate, and strawberries.
it tastes absolutely heavenly. the best thing she has eaten in years. it's enough to almost bring tears to her eyes, if she were that type of person. but the ache in her arm is enough to keep her focused on the task at hand, and so she cuts into the waffle with great purpose. ]
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Date: 2021-01-04 01:47 am (UTC)Kaz only has to stare for a moment, flummoxed by her paying him back. Literally and figuratively. And then he's annoyed again, as he pockets the kruge. She didn't need to go out of her way. After all, she could've have the damn waffles with the cream and everything two days ago if she'd just gotten over her soft feelings.
Which brings him to another point: they have ground to cover. ]
How soon can you use that arm again?
[ He's not going to ask how it feels, because he imagines it's painful. That stinging sensation of a fresh wound. She'll recover but they can't wait till it's completely healed up. It works out, since she'll need to learn to use her other arm anyway. ]
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Date: 2021-01-04 02:12 am (UTC)it takes about five minutes to complete the stack of waffles, carefully scraping the cream off of her plate to lick the fork. and right when she seems to consider answering kaz's question, she reaches for her cup, to drink her water.
jesper fills the silence with a bit of a laugh and collects his plate up, commenting that he's late for his shift. inej glances in his direction, expression dubious; she knows full well he has no shift, but says nothing about it as he pats her shoulder on the way past, offering a slight salute in kaz's direction to say bye.
the touch causes her shoulders to stiffen slightly, but inej shoves down the momentary feeling of anxiety to refocus on what was asked of her. ]
The Black Tips are planning an expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ as she sets down her cup, levelling her gaze toward his, expression neutral. a trip to the lid had proven useful, in getting the kitchen what they needed for supplies for extra money, and also in eavesdropping with some loud drunkard who elected to take on liquor at three in the afternoon.
she had had to scale a few market stands to stay hidden, but it had been worth it. tomatoes purchased, not harassed by a rival gang, and information (with a grain of salt) gathered. her arm is aching, but she ignores it. her (admittedly petty and stupid) point has been made. ]
Or so says their neighborhood drunk.
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Date: 2021-01-05 02:27 pm (UTC)He takes off with a lazy salute and a pat to Inej's shoulder. Kaz catches her flinch and feels a modicum less annoyance. ]
The Black Tips are always planning expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ Them and the Razorgulls. Pekka's Dime Lions haven't encroached in lately, though. He's probably biding his time. ]
Geels' brains could fit in a matchbox. [ Suffice to say, he isn't worried. Though she's given him a few things just now: that she's capable of climbing and listening even with her arm the way it is, the Black Tips are planning something, and that it'll probably be soon.
They aren't known for playing the long game. None of their higher ups have the patience. ]
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Date: 2021-01-05 05:11 pm (UTC)[ it's said without hesitation, as she finishes off the water in her cup, setting the glass down on the table once she's done. she fixes him with a long stare, scanning his features for a moment. ]
If I fail, so do you.
[ the words are said simply, as she settles back into her seat, delicately rolling down her sleeves. mindful, as always, to keep her wrist turned inward, so he cannot see the words written there. ]
Haskell might find you useful, but your hands don't make enough money to pay off what I owe. You are just as bound to my debt as I am. So I know that you are not going to harm me or send me back to the Menagerie, because doing that would mean you failed. And I imagine Haskell doesn't appreciate failure.
[ she shrugs her thin shoulders, fixing him with a frown. ]
I have no intention of failing. Or risking your head to save mine. I won't stab you in the back. And I won't abandon my debt, or sell what I can offer to the highest bidder. Because, like it or not, we have to be a team in order to survive.
[ inej pauses, there. it's very clear that she has thought about saying this extensively for the last two days. it's also very clear that she's not comfortable speaking this much. but her brow furrows slightly, before glancing at her empty plate. ]
I will be ready at eight bells tomorrow morning, if you can drag yourself from your bed to teach me how to remove your tongue.
[ it's about half a joke. ]
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Date: 2021-01-05 05:47 pm (UTC)[ Almost painfully so. He'd gone out on a limb, a hunch, that having her in the Dregs would pay off. The Dime Lions may have the best spider in the Barrel, but he doesn't think he'll have that title for much longer. Not when Inej finally hits her stride.
It's another long game, something he knows Haskell has little patience for. He wants results, wants the payoff, even if he's not willing to put the work in. Which is why he sends Kaz off to do it for him.
So while Haskell certainly doesn't appreciate failure, he has some confidence that he'll survive a resulting storm should this fall through. It would be an uncomfortable position, though, and set him back on his plans. ]
I won't send you back, but that isn't my decision. I'm capable of weathering Haskell—I've made that old man enough money.
[ And made sure the Slat wasn't falling down around their ears. The boss would be hard pressed to find someone to replace him, at this point, even if he occasionally wants to. ]
I told you the Barrel wouldn't be kind. Flouncing off for two days because your feelings are hurt isn't going to cut it. You're going to hear that and worse, much worse, and it's either survive or don't.
[ She may have dealt with one monster, but the Barrel is full of them, in every shape and size. ]
So don't come preaching to me about teamwork; I can survive a failure, you're not in a position to.
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Date: 2021-01-05 06:04 pm (UTC)[ it's said coolly, folding her arms over her chest, not looking away as she levels her gaze. she had allowed her feelings to be hurt, that much is true, but he was the one who allowed it to get to him. she had cut out her tattoo and bought a new pair of boots.
she rises to her feet, dusting off her hands before collecting her plate, stacking the cup on top. ]
Do not lecture me about survival, Kaz Brekker.
[ she adds, casting a glance toward the clock on the wall. she needed to add more balm to her wound, to continue to fight back infection. time to rest until the evening. ]
I could ruin half the lives the mercher men you loathe, given their want to rape little girls during their lunch hour before returning home to their wives and sons.
[ she steps around her chair, pushing it back in against the table with her hip. ]
I will see you at eight bells. Unless you would rather continue to be angry with me, and in that case, I will make other plans.
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Date: 2021-01-05 06:25 pm (UTC)[ It's faster to destroy a merch when equipped with all the proper information. He has his contacts and runners, but no full spy. No unseen eyes and ears, silent as a cat. The merchers wouldn't even know what hit them. ]
Don't mistake my annoyance with anger, they're not the same. [ Truthfully, it's rare he feels the burn of white hot anger. His temper usually isn't from fury, it's from aggravation. A thousand little stupid things to tolerate. He waves her off with: ]
Go on then. I'll be there.
[ In the meantime, he has things to do. And maybe some skiv to shake down so he can clear the feeling of his hackles being raised. ]
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Date: 2021-01-05 06:32 pm (UTC)[ she responds mildly, but she doesn't bother waiting for a response, instead turning her back to walk away, her braid falling neatly against her spine. he can see her tipping the dishes into a waiting receptable, offering a warm hello to the cook in the kitchens -- and then, she's gone.
down a hallway, or upstairs, or outside, who knows. but vanishes amongst the bustle of people without so much as a trace. ]
Knives
Date: 2021-01-06 02:59 am (UTC)Despite their spat in the middle of the dining room, he had shown up the next morning at the time she'd picked. Just to show her that he could. There'd also been a matter of his night being unrestful, thoughts spinning like Makker's Wheel. He hadn't been able to stop the looped deluge and found himself drifting in and out, dreams—if they could be called that—fitful and lurid.
So when dawn fully crested, he'd dragged himself out of bed to their first lesson in fighting with a knife. He'd let her borrow his pocket knife, wanting to start off on something easy to carry and wield.
Over the next few weeks, she'd shown him exceptional promise. He hadn't needed to repeat himself much, only on the trickier bits like the overhand to underhand strike. By this point, he can't teach her any more, having imparted all his knowledge.
Of course, she can't continue to borrow his knives. It's impractical. Part of him also feels bad, still, for being fairly cruel about his comment on her waffle a few weeks past.
Not that he'll admit it. He does still think she's a bit soft.
Either way, it's what brings him to ask her up to his room. Office, really. He'd seen it and had known it should belong to her. ]
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Date: 2021-01-06 05:50 pm (UTC)so - she did as she was told, when it came to haskell. but with kaz, she disagreed. she pushed. she drew lines. and for the most part, he seemed to hate that, but he had continued to teach her. and had continued to show her the most effective way to defend herself. and, though he hadn't used the words, to kill.
they've reached a relatively easy schedule. and inej's arm is well on its way to fully healing, though she still keeps it wrapped and balmed. the scarring is going to be awful, but she doesn't care. it's prettier to look at than the brand that heleen had forced upon her skin.
on this day, though, kaz had asked her to meet him upstairs following a shift. and she obliges, though a little confused as to why. she doesn't bother going up the stairs, instead scaling the wall to slip in through the window with the broken lock, carrying a bag.
waffles, from his favorite stand in the lid. a peace offering, maybe. or maybe she just wanted to try them. ]
You should fix your window.
[ she says mildly, slipping inside to land silently on the floor, depositing the bag of food on his desk as she brushes back the hood of the jacket she recently bought. comfortable and able to climb in. ]
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Date: 2021-01-06 08:11 pm (UTC)In some ways, he's come to expect her arrival through his window. Which is what she does now, swinging in effortlessly and depositing a bag on his desk. ]
If someone else can climb three stories through my window without my notice, I'm likely to hire them.
[ It's not a skill everyone possesses. Especially the bit about being quiet during the whole affair. ]
What's this? [ He hadn't expected her to bring anything but herself. ]
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Date: 2021-01-06 09:17 pm (UTC)[ with a shrug, as she settles herself into a chair to wait for him to get what he wants from the bag. it had been something of a pain to go across the city to get it from this specific stand, but she had had a little bit extra time today to make the trip.
mostly because, on reflection, she would get nowhere in befriending (or whatever this relationship is supposed to be) kaz brekker by constantly being difficult. besides, being angry was exhausting. being nice was much easier.
and, most importantly: ]
I haven't eaten yet, and I didn't want to find food later. So whatever you need to talk to me about can happen over food.
[ she's half-wondering what else she screwed up, truth be told, but kaz appears to be in a halfway-decent mood. ]
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Date: 2021-01-07 01:58 am (UTC)She does present a logical argument though. It's late in the day for them both, but especially for her because she's usually up much earlier than him. Up with the sun and birds.
He doesn't see a reason to refuse, so he does open the bag, pulling one of the wrapped items out. It's waffles, naturally, a thing they both share. But he can tell by the wrapping that it's from the Lid. The one he almost never gets out to, despite it being his favorite.
Glancing up, he catches her gaze, studying her face for a moment.
And then he doesn't dig in right away, pulling a wrapped rectangular package out from his desk drawer and setting it in front of her on the desk. ]
That's yours.
[ Something of a thank you??? Maybe. ]
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Date: 2021-01-07 05:22 pm (UTC)It is not poisoned.
[ she says mildly, stretching out an arm to take a waffle out of the bag once he's gotten one of his own. she picked out a relatively plain one, too, mostly because her waffle doesn't really travel well. and inej is about to settle back to eat when kaz pulls out a package and puts it on the desk.
a . . . gift? or: ]
What is it?
[ she doesn't move to take it just yet, brow furrowed slightly as she glances at him, confused. ]
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Date: 2021-01-07 06:05 pm (UTC)[ At that, he settles back in his seat, unfolding the wrapping from his waffle. ]
It's not going to bite.
[ Not if she didn't want it to, anyway. And somehow he doubts she'll decide to pull it on him, even if she would technically have an opening to do so in here.
But as she said, they're basically in this together. He's tied to her contract just as much as she is, since he'd put his neck on the line for her possibility of freedom. It was going to be work for them both to get her enough money to pay it off, but it was certainly a better deal than the one Heleen had forced her into. The one she couldn't even read as it had been in Kerch.
This one she had been able to read. And could always go back to read again, if she was worried about terms changing. He doesn't think Haskell will, though. As long as the old man gets his kruge, he'll be happy. ]
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Date: 2021-01-08 02:11 pm (UTC)as she unfolds the wrapping to reveal a wooden box, she opens it to reveal a knife. the craftsmanship is beautiful, the blade easily able to fit in her smaller hands. the handle looks like it would fit perfectly against her palm. but she doesn't remove it, quite yet.
not every act of kindness is a trick, inej. but: ]
I cannot afford this.
[ she says quietly, eyes flickering back up to meet his. and while she doesn't say it, the meaning in her eyes is fairly clear. she won't have another dime added to her tab to work off; whatever she has, she'll pay for herself. ]
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Date: 2021-01-08 02:25 pm (UTC)There's a pause after she lifts the lid off the box, as though she isn't sure what to do with it. ]
You should have your own means of defense. It won't go on your contract.
[ Keeping herself alive is payment enough, right? It would be stupid to buy out her contract and then never give her any of the tools with which to make it in the Barrel. He'd told Haskell she'd be a great spider and that's what he'll get. That's what they'll all get. She already has a reputation because she's been around him, but he knows she'll have her own. One like his, armor to pull on—no one will want to touch her again.
No one smart, anyway. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 02:39 pm (UTC)her first instinct is to not trust it, but common sense overrides the paranoia almost immediately. kaz brekker was an arrogant brat on most days, but not one to lie to her. or hold something over her head, or expect anything more of her than what was already in their deal. so - if he says it won't go on the contract, then it won't.
so she wraps her fingers around the handle experimentally, lifting the knife out of the box. it's light, and she can tell it's perfectly balanced even without removing the blade from the sheath. it's beautiful, in a bizarre way. she never thought she would think that of a knife.
for the first time in what feels like years, a genuine smile curves her lips as she looks up at him again, clearly appreciative. ]
Thank you.
[ it's said quietly, but nonetheless warm. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-08 05:18 pm (UTC)Still, his gaze flicks up as she takes the knife out of the box, her grip sure but almost reverent. There's a tip of her hand as she tests the balance of it. The handle fits well, small enough for her to grip but big enough it won't cramp her hand or slip.
Maybe the bone handle is a little morbid, but it felt fitting, somehow.
When she looks up, he catches her gaze, feeling a wash of warmth when she smiles. It isn't one of her small ones, the rare times he's seen one ghosting on her mouth. This one is wider, genuine, and it lights up her whole face. ]
Can't have you using a toothpick for a knife.
[ Not like the pocket knife she'd been using occasionally. ]
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Date: 2021-01-08 05:39 pm (UTC)[ belatedly, she's glad she made the trip to the lid to get the waffles. it pales in comparison to the knife, but at least the token of appreciation was given.
she unsheathes the knife, the glint of the blade pristine. it's sharp, the silvery blade perfectly suited against the white-bone of the handle. she can nearly see her reflection in the metal.
inej sheaths the blade again, her smile still on her features before she carefully sets it back in the box, mindful not to scuff anything. sometimes, inej wondered whether the words on her wrist were a blessing or a curse. there were days where she was certain kaz hated her. but there was some good in there, underneath whatever harmed him. little bits of light, peeking through the forced darkness.
today is a good day. an excellent one, really.
she sets the box back on his desk so she could get her waffle, to join him in dinner. she's reluctant to let go of the blade, but it seems silly to let her dinner get cold. especially after the journey she took to go get it. ]
Did you have it made, or did you find it?
[ as she settles back in to eat. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-10 04:46 pm (UTC)The knife gets sheathed once more and she sets the blade back into its box with care. ]
Found it. [ And he'd honestly been a little surprised to find something that had such perfect proportions for her. Small enough to be hidden easily, sharp enough to get any job done. Because he had wanted assurance that when she stuck someone, it wasn't going to be like hacking away. A dull knife is a painful way to go but slow and useless in a fight.
He settles in with his waffles as well, leaning forward in his chair so he doesn't drop anything. ]
The shopkeep mentioned it should go to someone who knew how to use it.
[ And she certainly does. ]
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