[ Though admittedly, it is a bit hard to take a knife to oneself with any accuracy or swiftness. He wouldn't be in a rush to cut out the crow and cup from his arm on his own, though he'd prefer it to someone potentially touching him. ]
There's a sharp enough knife somewhere among the Dregs.
[ His first choice would be the medik, but that meant spending coin. And with Haskell already heated, he wasn't going to push further.
It had to be someone who kept their knives both clean and sharp on the regular. Couldn't be a little boot knife, like the one he carried. ]
[ telling her to try the kitchens draws her gaze, brow furrowing slightly at the suggestion. she can't tell if he's joking or not, but then - kaz doesn't seem like the type of person who would joke. and given she has no money, and the boss currently finds her useless, a kitchen knife is probably the only way she's getting this brand removed in the near future.
horrifically painful, probably. but she's endured worse.
she makes a mental note to sweet talk the cook in the morning, when she goes to breakfast, to gauge what it would take for them to help her cut it out. ]
Alright.
[ evenly enough, before inej unfolds her arms and rises to her feet, graceful as always. and she considers saying thank you, or telling him how grateful she is to have his company in this hellish place. and that he seems to be her friend.
all of that feels like crossing a line, for some reason. so, instead: ]
[ The furrow in her brow indicates that she seems to think he's joking or messing around. That he isn't taking her want seriously. He is, though, wanting to give her the best option she has at the current moment. While the kitchen staff aren't his most trusted—that number is extremely small, mainly just Jesper and that changes—they also haven't poisoned anyone or pocketed food when they shouldn't have. So, decent enough.
And importantly: they keep their utensils clean. The kitchens were probably the cleanest spot in the Slat at any given time. No one wanted to invite a hoard of rats or insects, after all.
After a beat, she seems to understand he isn't pulling her leg and relaxes. Though her question surprises him a bit. ]
A walk. [ His leg could use the stretch, he's been standing still around the club for most of the afternoon. ] And waffles.
[ ah, he's offering to come with her. she had been planning on jumping the roof tops - something she's discovered is faster than the streets, and avoids people like heleen, who will have no idea where she is. walking with kaz means they have to take the long way, but she'll be safe regardless, because he's with her.
or, at least, that's what inej keeps telling herself. ]
The long way it is.
[ she says after a moment, holding out a hand to give him a pull up onto his feet, if he wants to have it. she won't be offended if he refuses it - she's noticed that kaz brekker tends to keep a wide berth, with most people. she hasn't even seen him shake hands. ]
[ It wouldn't be as fast, going street side. He's timed it, how quickly she can make it somewhere and back, when she uses the rooftops. Astonishing quickness, not only cutting out the foot traffic but also in just how assured she is in leaping to the next spot. If he didn't know better, he'd think she could fly.
At any rate, he could really use that walk, long way or not. A welcome stretch for his leg and a way to burn some of the energy under his skin. He waves off her hand, using his cane to help lever himself back to standing. Her balance is near impeccable so he isn't worried about tugging her off it.
More that he just doesn't want to touch. Gloves or not. A familiar wariness that warns him away unless absolutely necessary. ]
We'll take a different route. There's one that cuts behind the dress shop.
[ Because he's slowly teaching her the map of Ketterdam, something she didn't get with Heleen. It didn't hurt to know several ways to get to the same place.
When they get down from the roof and the three flights of stairs, he notes that Haskell's office door is closed—lucky them. He'll deal with that after dinner. ]
You should have something to protect yourself. [ He says, once they're headed in the direction of the waffle place. ]
[ he waves off her hand, and she withdraws it without complaint. the journey off the roof is uneventful, and inej feels a sense of relief at haskell's door being closed. she sticks close to kaz's heels on the way out, resolutely not looking at anyone else once they get to the door.
she slides her hands into the pocket of her coat, keeping pace with him relatively easily. even though kaz walks with a limp, his legs are so long that she often has to walk quickly to keep up. his gait is just much longer than hers. but she doesn't complain, falling into step at his side easily enough. ]
Jesper let me shoot one of his guns.
[ she says after a moment of consideration, letting her eyes wander to take note of where they were going. memorizing the map of the city forming in her mind.
but before kaz can suggest that she got one of her own, she adds, her tone a little rueful: ]
He had to catch me after I pulled the trigger.
[ she hadn't been expecting the recoil, and after shooting it once, inej decided that (1) she disliked guns and (2) she really disliked her hands smelling like gunpowder for two days. it had taken her ages to scrub the residue off her fingers. ]
[ In the couple weeks she's been shadowing him, she's gotten used to keeping pace with him. Just fast enough to stay by his side without slowing or having to speed up from lagging behind. Admittedly, it's strange having someone at his side, rather than sticking behind him—most of the Dregs do that, whether from respect or fear. But a growing part of him is finding he likes that she's not most Dregs and probably never will be. ]
That's big, for him. [ Those pearl handled revolvers of his were extremely cherished. The fact he had entrusted them to Inej, even for a few moments, says a lot.
Though perhaps something similar would be out of the question for her, as she goes on to say the kickback had nearly knocked her off her feet. A flicker of a smile curls the corner of his mouth as he pictures it. ]
Not exactly subtle weapons. Won't do for a spider.
[ She's supposed to be quiet, not making a racket. Besides, Jesper is the only person he's ever seen hit anything accurately. ]
Something less bulky; there's brass knuckles. Or knives.
[ at least seventeen times, which inej had sworn to do. she could barely pull the trigger, with how the guns were set up. but she had kept to her word, and not dropped it. and had made jesper laugh, which felt worth it, in the end.
(nor does she miss the flicker of a smile, on kaz's features. seems he's still keeping her in his good graces, after all.)
at her options, though, inej hums to herself, letting her eyes wander again to the streetlamps, flickering and casting shadows along the alleyways. ]
I've never used either.
[ the troupe had hardly a need for knives, and heleen certainly wouldn't allow her to have a weapon. she couldn't be sure that inej wouldn't use it on the clients, or herself. ]
[ Specifically to Jesper. He doesn't know the story but he has a feeling it has to do with family. An heirloom or something. It occasionally makes him wish he had something from his family.
But then, it wouldn't do to have something so prized, so easily snatched. ]
The brass fits over your fingers as interconnected rings. And the tops will have reinforced metal.
[ But, that might prove a challenge: ]
Your hands are probably too small for anything other than a custom fit.
[ Those rings are usually pretty wide, it wouldn't be comfortable to wear. Or be effective. ]
Knives are more easily hidden and wielded.
[ He casts a sidelong glance at her as they pass under a lantern, scrutinizing and seeming to be satisfied after a moment. Yes, knives will do nicely for a spider. She's quick enough and it won't be difficult to jab under someone's guard. ]
[ she blinks, at the last statement, casting him a sidelong glance in return, almost trying to judge if he was serious. or stupid. or both. ]
You are going to give me a knife.
[ almost a little incredulously, as inej steps over a small pothole in the street, the motion smooth and effortless as she continues to walk. she's beginning to learn the different streets. ]
I just threatened your boss' tongue, and you want to give me something sharp?
[ Any of the Dregs could probably stick Per Haskell if they tried hard enough. ]
But neither of us will. [ Most likely, anyway. At least for him: not yet. Maybe one day, if the time comes up and it fits into his plans. And if Haskell gets in his way.
For Inej, he has doubts that she'll stab Haskell or try and take his tongue out. It would have her sent back to Heleen so fast if she didn't manage to kill him.
And then her choices would go back to Heleen or the harbor. ]
[ well, that inej could believe. haskell isn't exactly fast, and while inej hasn't seen kaz in a proper fight, she's heard the stories. and she's witnessed him whip around to strike someone with his cane more than once, since she began her stay at the slat. the crow's head is more than capable of drawing blood. or breaking an arm.
what he says next is also true - neither of them will. kaz, because . . . well, inej isn't entirely sure why. and inej, because she really has no choice but to play the game until she proves herself useful.
so she shrugs her thin shoulders, burying her hands a bit deeper into the pockets of her coat. ]
Knives it is, then.
[ what she's expected to do with them, inej has no idea. defend herself, he had said. she can't say that the thought of being able to do so with a bit more than her fists isn't appealing. or that removing the hands of anyone who attempted to touch her without her permission didn't tug a bit of interest at the back of her mind.
she lets herself fall into silence, at that, letting her mind wander. which typically is a bad thing, she's found, as of late. in the menagerie, it had been about survival. and in the dregs, it was much the same. but with no one forcing her to work as frequently as she was able, she had time to think. but instead of focusing on the bad memories, inej's mind drifts to the boy walking next to her. idly considering the words on her wrist. ]
Is this your favorite waffle stand?
[ she asks, glancing toward him, a little curious. and maybe seeking information from him that isn't necessarily related to money or murder. hard to come by, in the barrel. ]
[ Maybe it is ill advised to hand her a knife so soon after arguing with Haskell. But he had intended to have her be a spider and any good one doesn't run about unarmed. Not to mention that walking around in the Barrel without some protection is a laughable concept. He's not going to have her survive the Menagerie only to have something similar happen in the street because she couldn't defend herself.
They lapse into silence after she agrees and he starts thinking about what she'll need to know in the upcoming days. Where to hide one, how to easily take it out if needed, keeping them clean and sharp. How to disable versus how to kill. Though how she'll react to actually killing someone is—well, he sympathizes with that future moment. It's a shock. ]
No, there's one in the Lid. [ But it's out of the way and a long walk. He doesn't usually end up over there, most schemes being involved in the Barrel or fleecing rich merchers in their own territory. ]
Next door is a bakery Jesper swears by.
[ He's not sure why he's telling her this, but it seems innocuous enough. ]
[ ah, useful to know. maybe a trip to the lid is in order, after she has something to defend herself. it would be easy enough to go her way; not so much, for kaz with his leg. a waffle stand next to a bakery that jesper swears by . . . easy enough to get jesper to tell her the name of the bakery, and thereby finding kaz's favorite stand. ]
Ravka doesn't have waffles.
[ after a moment, tone a little thoughtful as she takes note of the nearing dress shop, with frilly petticoats inside the windows. the waffle stand is nearby; the one kaz and jesper had taken her to last week, in insistence that living in kerch and not having a waffle was sacrilegious.
inej doubts very much that the saints gave half a damn about waffles, but she didn't want to ruin their excitement at sharing it with her. even kaz had been in a good mood, or what passed as a good mood for him. annoyingly, the boys had been right - waffles were pretty delicious, though inej was certain the saints would take them or leave them. ]
I haven't found any food that tastes like home, yet.
[ she supposes there are ravkan restaurants or stands around here somewhere, but inej hasn't bothered to track them down. tasting home would just make the ache worse. or maybe a little better. she wishes she could have blini for breakfast, but she supposes a waffle will do. ]
[ There's likely something similar, right? Jesper had told him about these griddle cakes they had in Zemeni. They were flatter than the ones he's heard about, nearly paper thin and stuffed with fruit and cream.
Hearing about it had made him nostalgic for his father's apple tarts. Despite Ketterdam having a bevy of dessert shops and bakeries, he still hasn't found any that replicated that same tart.
So maybe he understands Inej, just a little. Even if he doesn't count Lij as home. ]
Little Ravka will have it. Out by the Ravkan embassy, in the Zelvar district.
[ There's a cluster of embassies, just catacorner from the Church of Barter. He almost never needs to go over there; stadwatch tends to be more vigilant in those areas. ]
Remember the Church from last week? Close to there. You can see the government flags flying.
[ the ravkan word slides off her tongue much easier and naturally than kerch. but she doesn't really know how to explain what blini is, without describing it in ravkan or suli. ]
It has more fruit and cream, than your waffles.
[ at least, the waffles that kaz orders. he tends to pick less sweet toppings, much to her disgruntlement. she tends to just order whatever he does to make the process easier. learning how to read kerch is still a work in progress. ]
My people eat different foods, I doubt I'll find it here. [ her mother's cooking has been a painful absence, the warm aroma of sweet cakes that used to wake her up at early hours of the morning. ] But I will look in the Ravkan sector for blini.
Plenty of Ravkans sought asylum here when the war broke out.
[ So she may very well find something Suli near the embassy. He can't imagine the Suli were too keen to stay in the war zones, especially not when there were grisha involved.
Then again, Ravka is a big country, they might've been able to travel around certain spots and avoid most of it. Something like that wouldn't be possible in Kerch; it's why their navy is as strong as it is, preventing landfall should the Tidemakers fail to prevent an invasion.
No one's attempted anything in a long time, though. Whether it was because they didn't want to tangle with the Kerch, who also controlled a large portion of trade, or they simply had no interest in expanding borders. Though, the only two it would make sense for would be Ravka or Shu Han, whose land percentage already tripled—at the very least—that of Kerch's. Ravka also didn't have the infrastructure to keep itself together, let alone attempt to annex a neighbor. And Shu Han, well, they tended to keep to themselves. ]
We can pay a visit in a few days. [ Tomorrow will be too busy, after spending time teaching her. But he knows he has something approximating a day off coming up, if Haskell doesn't decide to revoke it out of displeasure. ]
[ she supposes that's true, though the suli are nomadic people, and the land is their home. ravka may currently be run by a bunch of incompetent morons (as far as inej remembers), but the ravkans have generally protected their own.
no one seemed to notice when inej was kidnapped, after all. the ravkan government hardly demanded anything of the kerch and their illegal slave trade, when suli girls go missing.
but inej keeps that to herself, instead focusing on the offer to go with her to the ravkan sector of town. she nearly takes him up on it, but something in her balks at having kaz with her. not because of any particular reason, but the irrational thought that she may find someone who recognizes her. like that man who visited the menagerie, who had been to one of her performances. and then raped her anyway.
it's a silly thought. the odds are astronomical. but there's definitely a slight pause before she says: ]
There is no real rush.
[ it's an agreement, but not an insistent one.
after all, finding little cakes would hardly erase her debt. ]
[ She goes quiet for a bit, maybe thinking about what she could find there. Or maybe needing time to decide—if her anxieties were anything like his, after he'd crawled out of the harbor—there could be something she's worried about. Or someone. Heleen, so far as he knows, sticks to the area around the Menagerie, so he doesn't foresee her going there.
The Menagerie's clients, though. They could be anywhere. He doubts she's forgotten any of their faces, just like he'd etched Rollins into his memory.
As they round the corner to the waffle shop, she answers and he doesn't question it. The Ravkan quarter will still be there if she decides she wants to change her mind. ]
Going to be more adventurous today?
[ She'd gotten the same thing he did here, last time. Even though both he and Jesper offered to translate the choices. ]
[ the (minor and insignificant) dig causes inej to roll her eyes a little. the shop itself is neat and orderly, for the barrel, and the owner clearly knows who kaz is. inej is fairly certain the older woman who staffs the waffle stand isn't afraid of kaz brekker, either, but then - to grow old in the barrel probably means she's met worse.
all the same, inej picks up the menu. while speaking kerch is relatively fine (though there are moments where inej needs half a moment to parse through what's been said to her), reading it is still a work in progress. and while she scans it over, plucking out familiar words, her eyes catch sight of someone else's waffle order, topped high with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate, and caramel.
it is, in no way, healthy. or even a proper choice for dinner. but inej can't remember the last time she had chocolate. ]
That.
[ she says definitively, watching the boy carefully carry his treasure to a nearby seat, where his mother (in much exasperation) is waiting. ]
[ Inej picks up the menu, a small divot appearing between her brows as she concentrates on the words. She knows some, mostly from him and Jesper over the past couple weeks. And while he knows it was basically learn Kerch or have an even tougher time in the Menagerie, it's still amazing she managed to learn a foreign language while at that horrible place.
So, if she never learns to read it, he doesn't care really. But she seems determined to, bit by bit.
Her head comes up from the ink on paper, gaze clearly watching someone as they make their way from the end of the counter. Kaz follows her line of sight, strangely amused by her wanting the most ridiculous (and sweet) thing on the menu. But she doesn't appear to be joking. So a waffle piled high with cream, chocolate, caramel, and strawberries is what she'll get.
As for him, he tends to get the same thing, no frills. He orders for them both and pays and while they wait: ]
[ she responds easily, putting the menu back on the counter before casting a meaningful look at the undecorated waffle currently being prepared behind the counter.
and, just in case kaz decides to have another smart remark, her eyes flicker up toward him, arching her eyebrows slightly. ]
[ Her remark is so fast and cutting, it's almost shocking. He feels like maybe he should discourage her, not wanting his carefully curated reputation to suffer because she's decided she's going to sass him back when there could be people listening.
On the other hand, he doesn't want to add to her traumatic experiences. Not to mention: there's something oddly refreshing about it. ]
No, I don't like sweets.
[ Too much hot chocolate and quince candy reminds him of Jordie, when they hadn't known any better. Or long hours spent learning to shuffle cards, savoring the occasional cocoa the barman had given out of pity. A shadow passes over his face then, there and gone, before he shakes himself out of it. ]
If your teeth fall out from overindulgence, that's your prerogative.
[ ah, crossing a line. her brow furrows, at the shadow crossing over his face, and she's about to change the subject when he turns snippish.
the comment catches her off guard. not because she takes it personally, but the word overindulgence causes her spine to stiffen. it's absurdly silly, to take offense at such an offhanded insult, but her feelings sting at the remark.
overindulgence. as if she's indulged in anything since coming here. she can't remember the last time she had chocolate. or anything sweet, really, unable to afford it, and it wasn't as if heleen went out of her way to treat her. some girls earned pleasantries, but not inej, who was frequently a problem and was subject to beatings more than anything else.
so as she watches the waffle maker about to decorate her own waffle, she clears her throat, and gestures with a flick of her fingers that it's not needed. she could just have it with syrup. the waffle maker seems to understand what she means without saying anything, and shrugs, serving the food as is.
it's stupid and childish to feel self-conscious over a treat, but now she no longer wants to eat it. ]
[ Her spine straightens, shoulders squaring up. But there isn't the fight in her face like he'd been expecting—the one he's been seeing glimpses of over the past couple weeks as she's slowly crawled out of her shell.
No, this is tension, the kind that goes hand in hand with a sinking stomach. At first he thinks maybe she's seen Heleen or someone she recognizes, a patron of the Menagerie. But no, that isn't it.
It was his own damn comment.
Part of him sneers. Serves her right for trying to talk back. The other part just feels anxious, like he's stepped too far and burnt a bridge. And Kaz Brekker had long ago purged I'm sorry from his vocabulary. So he says nothing, letting the now uncomfortable silence drape over them both.
When the waffles finish, carefully wrapped in waxed paper, he hands hers over, noting the lack of toppings. Hm. ]
Eat on the roof when we get back and stay clear until I come get you. Haskell will take some time to see reason.
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no subject
[ Though admittedly, it is a bit hard to take a knife to oneself with any accuracy or swiftness. He wouldn't be in a rush to cut out the crow and cup from his arm on his own, though he'd prefer it to someone potentially touching him. ]
There's a sharp enough knife somewhere among the Dregs.
[ His first choice would be the medik, but that meant spending coin. And with Haskell already heated, he wasn't going to push further.
It had to be someone who kept their knives both clean and sharp on the regular. Couldn't be a little boot knife, like the one he carried. ]
Try the kitchens.
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horrifically painful, probably. but she's endured worse.
she makes a mental note to sweet talk the cook in the morning, when she goes to breakfast, to gauge what it would take for them to help her cut it out. ]
Alright.
[ evenly enough, before inej unfolds her arms and rises to her feet, graceful as always. and she considers saying thank you, or telling him how grateful she is to have his company in this hellish place. and that he seems to be her friend.
all of that feels like crossing a line, for some reason. so, instead: ]
What do you want for dinner?
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And importantly: they keep their utensils clean. The kitchens were probably the cleanest spot in the Slat at any given time. No one wanted to invite a hoard of rats or insects, after all.
After a beat, she seems to understand he isn't pulling her leg and relaxes. Though her question surprises him a bit. ]
A walk. [ His leg could use the stretch, he's been standing still around the club for most of the afternoon. ] And waffles.
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or, at least, that's what inej keeps telling herself. ]
The long way it is.
[ she says after a moment, holding out a hand to give him a pull up onto his feet, if he wants to have it. she won't be offended if he refuses it - she's noticed that kaz brekker tends to keep a wide berth, with most people. she hasn't even seen him shake hands. ]
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At any rate, he could really use that walk, long way or not. A welcome stretch for his leg and a way to burn some of the energy under his skin. He waves off her hand, using his cane to help lever himself back to standing. Her balance is near impeccable so he isn't worried about tugging her off it.
More that he just doesn't want to touch. Gloves or not. A familiar wariness that warns him away unless absolutely necessary. ]
We'll take a different route. There's one that cuts behind the dress shop.
[ Because he's slowly teaching her the map of Ketterdam, something she didn't get with Heleen. It didn't hurt to know several ways to get to the same place.
When they get down from the roof and the three flights of stairs, he notes that Haskell's office door is closed—lucky them. He'll deal with that after dinner. ]
You should have something to protect yourself. [ He says, once they're headed in the direction of the waffle place. ]
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she slides her hands into the pocket of her coat, keeping pace with him relatively easily. even though kaz walks with a limp, his legs are so long that she often has to walk quickly to keep up. his gait is just much longer than hers. but she doesn't complain, falling into step at his side easily enough. ]
Jesper let me shoot one of his guns.
[ she says after a moment of consideration, letting her eyes wander to take note of where they were going. memorizing the map of the city forming in her mind.
but before kaz can suggest that she got one of her own, she adds, her tone a little rueful: ]
He had to catch me after I pulled the trigger.
[ she hadn't been expecting the recoil, and after shooting it once, inej decided that (1) she disliked guns and (2) she really disliked her hands smelling like gunpowder for two days. it had taken her ages to scrub the residue off her fingers. ]
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That's big, for him. [ Those pearl handled revolvers of his were extremely cherished. The fact he had entrusted them to Inej, even for a few moments, says a lot.
Though perhaps something similar would be out of the question for her, as she goes on to say the kickback had nearly knocked her off her feet. A flicker of a smile curls the corner of his mouth as he pictures it. ]
Not exactly subtle weapons. Won't do for a spider.
[ She's supposed to be quiet, not making a racket. Besides, Jesper is the only person he's ever seen hit anything accurately. ]
Something less bulky; there's brass knuckles. Or knives.
[ Both easily tucked away. ]
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[ at least seventeen times, which inej had sworn to do. she could barely pull the trigger, with how the guns were set up. but she had kept to her word, and not dropped it. and had made jesper laugh, which felt worth it, in the end.
(nor does she miss the flicker of a smile, on kaz's features. seems he's still keeping her in his good graces, after all.)
at her options, though, inej hums to herself, letting her eyes wander again to the streetlamps, flickering and casting shadows along the alleyways. ]
I've never used either.
[ the troupe had hardly a need for knives, and heleen certainly wouldn't allow her to have a weapon. she couldn't be sure that inej wouldn't use it on the clients, or herself. ]
no subject
[ Specifically to Jesper. He doesn't know the story but he has a feeling it has to do with family. An heirloom or something. It occasionally makes him wish he had something from his family.
But then, it wouldn't do to have something so prized, so easily snatched. ]
The brass fits over your fingers as interconnected rings. And the tops will have reinforced metal.
[ But, that might prove a challenge: ]
Your hands are probably too small for anything other than a custom fit.
[ Those rings are usually pretty wide, it wouldn't be comfortable to wear. Or be effective. ]
Knives are more easily hidden and wielded.
[ He casts a sidelong glance at her as they pass under a lantern, scrutinizing and seeming to be satisfied after a moment. Yes, knives will do nicely for a spider. She's quick enough and it won't be difficult to jab under someone's guard. ]
I'll have you try a pocket knife, tomorrow.
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You are going to give me a knife.
[ almost a little incredulously, as inej steps over a small pothole in the street, the motion smooth and effortless as she continues to walk. she's beginning to learn the different streets. ]
I just threatened your boss' tongue, and you want to give me something sharp?
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[ Any of the Dregs could probably stick Per Haskell if they tried hard enough. ]
But neither of us will. [ Most likely, anyway. At least for him: not yet. Maybe one day, if the time comes up and it fits into his plans. And if Haskell gets in his way.
For Inej, he has doubts that she'll stab Haskell or try and take his tongue out. It would have her sent back to Heleen so fast if she didn't manage to kill him.
And then her choices would go back to Heleen or the harbor. ]
no subject
what he says next is also true - neither of them will. kaz, because . . . well, inej isn't entirely sure why. and inej, because she really has no choice but to play the game until she proves herself useful.
so she shrugs her thin shoulders, burying her hands a bit deeper into the pockets of her coat. ]
Knives it is, then.
[ what she's expected to do with them, inej has no idea. defend herself, he had said. she can't say that the thought of being able to do so with a bit more than her fists isn't appealing. or that removing the hands of anyone who attempted to touch her without her permission didn't tug a bit of interest at the back of her mind.
she lets herself fall into silence, at that, letting her mind wander. which typically is a bad thing, she's found, as of late. in the menagerie, it had been about survival. and in the dregs, it was much the same. but with no one forcing her to work as frequently as she was able, she had time to think. but instead of focusing on the bad memories, inej's mind drifts to the boy walking next to her. idly considering the words on her wrist. ]
Is this your favorite waffle stand?
[ she asks, glancing toward him, a little curious. and maybe seeking information from him that isn't necessarily related to money or murder. hard to come by, in the barrel. ]
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They lapse into silence after she agrees and he starts thinking about what she'll need to know in the upcoming days. Where to hide one, how to easily take it out if needed, keeping them clean and sharp. How to disable versus how to kill. Though how she'll react to actually killing someone is—well, he sympathizes with that future moment. It's a shock. ]
No, there's one in the Lid. [ But it's out of the way and a long walk. He doesn't usually end up over there, most schemes being involved in the Barrel or fleecing rich merchers in their own territory. ]
Next door is a bakery Jesper swears by.
[ He's not sure why he's telling her this, but it seems innocuous enough. ]
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Ravka doesn't have waffles.
[ after a moment, tone a little thoughtful as she takes note of the nearing dress shop, with frilly petticoats inside the windows. the waffle stand is nearby; the one kaz and jesper had taken her to last week, in insistence that living in kerch and not having a waffle was sacrilegious.
inej doubts very much that the saints gave half a damn about waffles, but she didn't want to ruin their excitement at sharing it with her. even kaz had been in a good mood, or what passed as a good mood for him. annoyingly, the boys had been right - waffles were pretty delicious, though inej was certain the saints would take them or leave them. ]
I haven't found any food that tastes like home, yet.
[ she supposes there are ravkan restaurants or stands around here somewhere, but inej hasn't bothered to track them down. tasting home would just make the ache worse. or maybe a little better. she wishes she could have blini for breakfast, but she supposes a waffle will do. ]
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[ There's likely something similar, right? Jesper had told him about these griddle cakes they had in Zemeni. They were flatter than the ones he's heard about, nearly paper thin and stuffed with fruit and cream.
Hearing about it had made him nostalgic for his father's apple tarts. Despite Ketterdam having a bevy of dessert shops and bakeries, he still hasn't found any that replicated that same tart.
So maybe he understands Inej, just a little. Even if he doesn't count Lij as home. ]
Little Ravka will have it. Out by the Ravkan embassy, in the Zelvar district.
[ There's a cluster of embassies, just catacorner from the Church of Barter. He almost never needs to go over there; stadwatch tends to be more vigilant in those areas. ]
Remember the Church from last week? Close to there. You can see the government flags flying.
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[ the ravkan word slides off her tongue much easier and naturally than kerch. but she doesn't really know how to explain what blini is, without describing it in ravkan or suli. ]
It has more fruit and cream, than your waffles.
[ at least, the waffles that kaz orders. he tends to pick less sweet toppings, much to her disgruntlement. she tends to just order whatever he does to make the process easier. learning how to read kerch is still a work in progress. ]
My people eat different foods, I doubt I'll find it here. [ her mother's cooking has been a painful absence, the warm aroma of sweet cakes that used to wake her up at early hours of the morning. ] But I will look in the Ravkan sector for blini.
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[ So she may very well find something Suli near the embassy. He can't imagine the Suli were too keen to stay in the war zones, especially not when there were grisha involved.
Then again, Ravka is a big country, they might've been able to travel around certain spots and avoid most of it. Something like that wouldn't be possible in Kerch; it's why their navy is as strong as it is, preventing landfall should the Tidemakers fail to prevent an invasion.
No one's attempted anything in a long time, though. Whether it was because they didn't want to tangle with the Kerch, who also controlled a large portion of trade, or they simply had no interest in expanding borders. Though, the only two it would make sense for would be Ravka or Shu Han, whose land percentage already tripled—at the very least—that of Kerch's. Ravka also didn't have the infrastructure to keep itself together, let alone attempt to annex a neighbor. And Shu Han, well, they tended to keep to themselves. ]
We can pay a visit in a few days. [ Tomorrow will be too busy, after spending time teaching her. But he knows he has something approximating a day off coming up, if Haskell doesn't decide to revoke it out of displeasure. ]
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no one seemed to notice when inej was kidnapped, after all. the ravkan government hardly demanded anything of the kerch and their illegal slave trade, when suli girls go missing.
but inej keeps that to herself, instead focusing on the offer to go with her to the ravkan sector of town. she nearly takes him up on it, but something in her balks at having kaz with her. not because of any particular reason, but the irrational thought that she may find someone who recognizes her. like that man who visited the menagerie, who had been to one of her performances. and then raped her anyway.
it's a silly thought. the odds are astronomical. but there's definitely a slight pause before she says: ]
There is no real rush.
[ it's an agreement, but not an insistent one.
after all, finding little cakes would hardly erase her debt. ]
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The Menagerie's clients, though. They could be anywhere. He doubts she's forgotten any of their faces, just like he'd etched Rollins into his memory.
As they round the corner to the waffle shop, she answers and he doesn't question it. The Ravkan quarter will still be there if she decides she wants to change her mind. ]
Going to be more adventurous today?
[ She'd gotten the same thing he did here, last time. Even though both he and Jesper offered to translate the choices. ]
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all the same, inej picks up the menu. while speaking kerch is relatively fine (though there are moments where inej needs half a moment to parse through what's been said to her), reading it is still a work in progress. and while she scans it over, plucking out familiar words, her eyes catch sight of someone else's waffle order, topped high with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate, and caramel.
it is, in no way, healthy. or even a proper choice for dinner. but inej can't remember the last time she had chocolate. ]
That.
[ she says definitively, watching the boy carefully carry his treasure to a nearby seat, where his mother (in much exasperation) is waiting. ]
That is what I want.
[ she has never sounded more serious. ]
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So, if she never learns to read it, he doesn't care really. But she seems determined to, bit by bit.
Her head comes up from the ink on paper, gaze clearly watching someone as they make their way from the end of the counter. Kaz follows her line of sight, strangely amused by her wanting the most ridiculous (and sweet) thing on the menu. But she doesn't appear to be joking. So a waffle piled high with cream, chocolate, caramel, and strawberries is what she'll get.
As for him, he tends to get the same thing, no frills. He orders for them both and pays and while they wait: ]
Sweet tooth?
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[ she responds easily, putting the menu back on the counter before casting a meaningful look at the undecorated waffle currently being prepared behind the counter.
and, just in case kaz decides to have another smart remark, her eyes flicker up toward him, arching her eyebrows slightly. ]
Do you find salt spicy?
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On the other hand, he doesn't want to add to her traumatic experiences. Not to mention: there's something oddly refreshing about it. ]
No, I don't like sweets.
[ Too much hot chocolate and quince candy reminds him of Jordie, when they hadn't known any better. Or long hours spent learning to shuffle cards, savoring the occasional cocoa the barman had given out of pity. A shadow passes over his face then, there and gone, before he shakes himself out of it. ]
If your teeth fall out from overindulgence, that's your prerogative.
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the comment catches her off guard. not because she takes it personally, but the word overindulgence causes her spine to stiffen. it's absurdly silly, to take offense at such an offhanded insult, but her feelings sting at the remark.
overindulgence. as if she's indulged in anything since coming here. she can't remember the last time she had chocolate. or anything sweet, really, unable to afford it, and it wasn't as if heleen went out of her way to treat her. some girls earned pleasantries, but not inej, who was frequently a problem and was subject to beatings more than anything else.
so as she watches the waffle maker about to decorate her own waffle, she clears her throat, and gestures with a flick of her fingers that it's not needed. she could just have it with syrup. the waffle maker seems to understand what she means without saying anything, and shrugs, serving the food as is.
it's stupid and childish to feel self-conscious over a treat, but now she no longer wants to eat it. ]
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No, this is tension, the kind that goes hand in hand with a sinking stomach. At first he thinks maybe she's seen Heleen or someone she recognizes, a patron of the Menagerie. But no, that isn't it.
It was his own damn comment.
Part of him sneers. Serves her right for trying to talk back. The other part just feels anxious, like he's stepped too far and burnt a bridge. And Kaz Brekker had long ago purged I'm sorry from his vocabulary. So he says nothing, letting the now uncomfortable silence drape over them both.
When the waffles finish, carefully wrapped in waxed paper, he hands hers over, noting the lack of toppings. Hm. ]
Eat on the roof when we get back and stay clear until I come get you. Haskell will take some time to see reason.
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