[ Specifically to Jesper. He doesn't know the story but he has a feeling it has to do with family. An heirloom or something. It occasionally makes him wish he had something from his family.
But then, it wouldn't do to have something so prized, so easily snatched. ]
The brass fits over your fingers as interconnected rings. And the tops will have reinforced metal.
[ But, that might prove a challenge: ]
Your hands are probably too small for anything other than a custom fit.
[ Those rings are usually pretty wide, it wouldn't be comfortable to wear. Or be effective. ]
Knives are more easily hidden and wielded.
[ He casts a sidelong glance at her as they pass under a lantern, scrutinizing and seeming to be satisfied after a moment. Yes, knives will do nicely for a spider. She's quick enough and it won't be difficult to jab under someone's guard. ]
[ she blinks, at the last statement, casting him a sidelong glance in return, almost trying to judge if he was serious. or stupid. or both. ]
You are going to give me a knife.
[ almost a little incredulously, as inej steps over a small pothole in the street, the motion smooth and effortless as she continues to walk. she's beginning to learn the different streets. ]
I just threatened your boss' tongue, and you want to give me something sharp?
[ Any of the Dregs could probably stick Per Haskell if they tried hard enough. ]
But neither of us will. [ Most likely, anyway. At least for him: not yet. Maybe one day, if the time comes up and it fits into his plans. And if Haskell gets in his way.
For Inej, he has doubts that she'll stab Haskell or try and take his tongue out. It would have her sent back to Heleen so fast if she didn't manage to kill him.
And then her choices would go back to Heleen or the harbor. ]
[ well, that inej could believe. haskell isn't exactly fast, and while inej hasn't seen kaz in a proper fight, she's heard the stories. and she's witnessed him whip around to strike someone with his cane more than once, since she began her stay at the slat. the crow's head is more than capable of drawing blood. or breaking an arm.
what he says next is also true - neither of them will. kaz, because . . . well, inej isn't entirely sure why. and inej, because she really has no choice but to play the game until she proves herself useful.
so she shrugs her thin shoulders, burying her hands a bit deeper into the pockets of her coat. ]
Knives it is, then.
[ what she's expected to do with them, inej has no idea. defend herself, he had said. she can't say that the thought of being able to do so with a bit more than her fists isn't appealing. or that removing the hands of anyone who attempted to touch her without her permission didn't tug a bit of interest at the back of her mind.
she lets herself fall into silence, at that, letting her mind wander. which typically is a bad thing, she's found, as of late. in the menagerie, it had been about survival. and in the dregs, it was much the same. but with no one forcing her to work as frequently as she was able, she had time to think. but instead of focusing on the bad memories, inej's mind drifts to the boy walking next to her. idly considering the words on her wrist. ]
Is this your favorite waffle stand?
[ she asks, glancing toward him, a little curious. and maybe seeking information from him that isn't necessarily related to money or murder. hard to come by, in the barrel. ]
[ Maybe it is ill advised to hand her a knife so soon after arguing with Haskell. But he had intended to have her be a spider and any good one doesn't run about unarmed. Not to mention that walking around in the Barrel without some protection is a laughable concept. He's not going to have her survive the Menagerie only to have something similar happen in the street because she couldn't defend herself.
They lapse into silence after she agrees and he starts thinking about what she'll need to know in the upcoming days. Where to hide one, how to easily take it out if needed, keeping them clean and sharp. How to disable versus how to kill. Though how she'll react to actually killing someone is—well, he sympathizes with that future moment. It's a shock. ]
No, there's one in the Lid. [ But it's out of the way and a long walk. He doesn't usually end up over there, most schemes being involved in the Barrel or fleecing rich merchers in their own territory. ]
Next door is a bakery Jesper swears by.
[ He's not sure why he's telling her this, but it seems innocuous enough. ]
[ ah, useful to know. maybe a trip to the lid is in order, after she has something to defend herself. it would be easy enough to go her way; not so much, for kaz with his leg. a waffle stand next to a bakery that jesper swears by . . . easy enough to get jesper to tell her the name of the bakery, and thereby finding kaz's favorite stand. ]
Ravka doesn't have waffles.
[ after a moment, tone a little thoughtful as she takes note of the nearing dress shop, with frilly petticoats inside the windows. the waffle stand is nearby; the one kaz and jesper had taken her to last week, in insistence that living in kerch and not having a waffle was sacrilegious.
inej doubts very much that the saints gave half a damn about waffles, but she didn't want to ruin their excitement at sharing it with her. even kaz had been in a good mood, or what passed as a good mood for him. annoyingly, the boys had been right - waffles were pretty delicious, though inej was certain the saints would take them or leave them. ]
I haven't found any food that tastes like home, yet.
[ she supposes there are ravkan restaurants or stands around here somewhere, but inej hasn't bothered to track them down. tasting home would just make the ache worse. or maybe a little better. she wishes she could have blini for breakfast, but she supposes a waffle will do. ]
[ There's likely something similar, right? Jesper had told him about these griddle cakes they had in Zemeni. They were flatter than the ones he's heard about, nearly paper thin and stuffed with fruit and cream.
Hearing about it had made him nostalgic for his father's apple tarts. Despite Ketterdam having a bevy of dessert shops and bakeries, he still hasn't found any that replicated that same tart.
So maybe he understands Inej, just a little. Even if he doesn't count Lij as home. ]
Little Ravka will have it. Out by the Ravkan embassy, in the Zelvar district.
[ There's a cluster of embassies, just catacorner from the Church of Barter. He almost never needs to go over there; stadwatch tends to be more vigilant in those areas. ]
Remember the Church from last week? Close to there. You can see the government flags flying.
[ the ravkan word slides off her tongue much easier and naturally than kerch. but she doesn't really know how to explain what blini is, without describing it in ravkan or suli. ]
It has more fruit and cream, than your waffles.
[ at least, the waffles that kaz orders. he tends to pick less sweet toppings, much to her disgruntlement. she tends to just order whatever he does to make the process easier. learning how to read kerch is still a work in progress. ]
My people eat different foods, I doubt I'll find it here. [ her mother's cooking has been a painful absence, the warm aroma of sweet cakes that used to wake her up at early hours of the morning. ] But I will look in the Ravkan sector for blini.
Plenty of Ravkans sought asylum here when the war broke out.
[ So she may very well find something Suli near the embassy. He can't imagine the Suli were too keen to stay in the war zones, especially not when there were grisha involved.
Then again, Ravka is a big country, they might've been able to travel around certain spots and avoid most of it. Something like that wouldn't be possible in Kerch; it's why their navy is as strong as it is, preventing landfall should the Tidemakers fail to prevent an invasion.
No one's attempted anything in a long time, though. Whether it was because they didn't want to tangle with the Kerch, who also controlled a large portion of trade, or they simply had no interest in expanding borders. Though, the only two it would make sense for would be Ravka or Shu Han, whose land percentage already tripled—at the very least—that of Kerch's. Ravka also didn't have the infrastructure to keep itself together, let alone attempt to annex a neighbor. And Shu Han, well, they tended to keep to themselves. ]
We can pay a visit in a few days. [ Tomorrow will be too busy, after spending time teaching her. But he knows he has something approximating a day off coming up, if Haskell doesn't decide to revoke it out of displeasure. ]
[ she supposes that's true, though the suli are nomadic people, and the land is their home. ravka may currently be run by a bunch of incompetent morons (as far as inej remembers), but the ravkans have generally protected their own.
no one seemed to notice when inej was kidnapped, after all. the ravkan government hardly demanded anything of the kerch and their illegal slave trade, when suli girls go missing.
but inej keeps that to herself, instead focusing on the offer to go with her to the ravkan sector of town. she nearly takes him up on it, but something in her balks at having kaz with her. not because of any particular reason, but the irrational thought that she may find someone who recognizes her. like that man who visited the menagerie, who had been to one of her performances. and then raped her anyway.
it's a silly thought. the odds are astronomical. but there's definitely a slight pause before she says: ]
There is no real rush.
[ it's an agreement, but not an insistent one.
after all, finding little cakes would hardly erase her debt. ]
[ She goes quiet for a bit, maybe thinking about what she could find there. Or maybe needing time to decide—if her anxieties were anything like his, after he'd crawled out of the harbor—there could be something she's worried about. Or someone. Heleen, so far as he knows, sticks to the area around the Menagerie, so he doesn't foresee her going there.
The Menagerie's clients, though. They could be anywhere. He doubts she's forgotten any of their faces, just like he'd etched Rollins into his memory.
As they round the corner to the waffle shop, she answers and he doesn't question it. The Ravkan quarter will still be there if she decides she wants to change her mind. ]
Going to be more adventurous today?
[ She'd gotten the same thing he did here, last time. Even though both he and Jesper offered to translate the choices. ]
[ the (minor and insignificant) dig causes inej to roll her eyes a little. the shop itself is neat and orderly, for the barrel, and the owner clearly knows who kaz is. inej is fairly certain the older woman who staffs the waffle stand isn't afraid of kaz brekker, either, but then - to grow old in the barrel probably means she's met worse.
all the same, inej picks up the menu. while speaking kerch is relatively fine (though there are moments where inej needs half a moment to parse through what's been said to her), reading it is still a work in progress. and while she scans it over, plucking out familiar words, her eyes catch sight of someone else's waffle order, topped high with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate, and caramel.
it is, in no way, healthy. or even a proper choice for dinner. but inej can't remember the last time she had chocolate. ]
That.
[ she says definitively, watching the boy carefully carry his treasure to a nearby seat, where his mother (in much exasperation) is waiting. ]
[ Inej picks up the menu, a small divot appearing between her brows as she concentrates on the words. She knows some, mostly from him and Jesper over the past couple weeks. And while he knows it was basically learn Kerch or have an even tougher time in the Menagerie, it's still amazing she managed to learn a foreign language while at that horrible place.
So, if she never learns to read it, he doesn't care really. But she seems determined to, bit by bit.
Her head comes up from the ink on paper, gaze clearly watching someone as they make their way from the end of the counter. Kaz follows her line of sight, strangely amused by her wanting the most ridiculous (and sweet) thing on the menu. But she doesn't appear to be joking. So a waffle piled high with cream, chocolate, caramel, and strawberries is what she'll get.
As for him, he tends to get the same thing, no frills. He orders for them both and pays and while they wait: ]
[ she responds easily, putting the menu back on the counter before casting a meaningful look at the undecorated waffle currently being prepared behind the counter.
and, just in case kaz decides to have another smart remark, her eyes flicker up toward him, arching her eyebrows slightly. ]
[ Her remark is so fast and cutting, it's almost shocking. He feels like maybe he should discourage her, not wanting his carefully curated reputation to suffer because she's decided she's going to sass him back when there could be people listening.
On the other hand, he doesn't want to add to her traumatic experiences. Not to mention: there's something oddly refreshing about it. ]
No, I don't like sweets.
[ Too much hot chocolate and quince candy reminds him of Jordie, when they hadn't known any better. Or long hours spent learning to shuffle cards, savoring the occasional cocoa the barman had given out of pity. A shadow passes over his face then, there and gone, before he shakes himself out of it. ]
If your teeth fall out from overindulgence, that's your prerogative.
[ ah, crossing a line. her brow furrows, at the shadow crossing over his face, and she's about to change the subject when he turns snippish.
the comment catches her off guard. not because she takes it personally, but the word overindulgence causes her spine to stiffen. it's absurdly silly, to take offense at such an offhanded insult, but her feelings sting at the remark.
overindulgence. as if she's indulged in anything since coming here. she can't remember the last time she had chocolate. or anything sweet, really, unable to afford it, and it wasn't as if heleen went out of her way to treat her. some girls earned pleasantries, but not inej, who was frequently a problem and was subject to beatings more than anything else.
so as she watches the waffle maker about to decorate her own waffle, she clears her throat, and gestures with a flick of her fingers that it's not needed. she could just have it with syrup. the waffle maker seems to understand what she means without saying anything, and shrugs, serving the food as is.
it's stupid and childish to feel self-conscious over a treat, but now she no longer wants to eat it. ]
[ Her spine straightens, shoulders squaring up. But there isn't the fight in her face like he'd been expecting—the one he's been seeing glimpses of over the past couple weeks as she's slowly crawled out of her shell.
No, this is tension, the kind that goes hand in hand with a sinking stomach. At first he thinks maybe she's seen Heleen or someone she recognizes, a patron of the Menagerie. But no, that isn't it.
It was his own damn comment.
Part of him sneers. Serves her right for trying to talk back. The other part just feels anxious, like he's stepped too far and burnt a bridge. And Kaz Brekker had long ago purged I'm sorry from his vocabulary. So he says nothing, letting the now uncomfortable silence drape over them both.
When the waffles finish, carefully wrapped in waxed paper, he hands hers over, noting the lack of toppings. Hm. ]
Eat on the roof when we get back and stay clear until I come get you. Haskell will take some time to see reason.
[ she says nothing, as she takes her waffle, the warmth bleeding through the wax paper. silently frustrated at herself. why was she so upset over a stupid word?
she had mouthed off, but she had done so since arriving here. what was the difference now? they were in public? but no, it wasn’t the push back that bothered her, but the comment itself.
letting it bother her was pointless. being upset over a stupid comment was only going to get her killed faster. if she was going to survive, she needed to be tougher than that.
as they leave, her eyes catch the boy with the waffle she had wanted, the treat now long since gone. it had looked delicious, too. ][
The roof.
[ finally, her tone level in agreement, as she slows her steps, at an alleyway jutting off from the street. and just as the word leaves her lips, she’s gone from sight, already melting into the shadows to take the quick way to the slat. ]
[ They walk together for only a brief period before she slows her steps, agreeing to his comment. And then she's gone, melting into the shadows. If he didn't know better, he'd think she was imaginary, a strange figment of his mind. He lingers at the mouth of the alley for half a beat, simply admiring how easy it had been for her.
Then he's moving on, because he has other things to do. Things that don't involve coddling her small feelings about waffles.
(Of course, he's never been good at letting anything go, so he's in a right mood when he arrives at the Slat).
He eats his dinner in the dining hall, tucked in a corner, as he considers his words for Haskell. His annoyance bleeds into his thoughts and countenance as usual and the Dregs steer well clear of him. Composure back in place, he walks straight into Haskell's office, who gestures for him to close the door.
And they certainly have it out. There's no shouting, not on his part at least, because meeting Per Haskell's tone gets him exactly nowhere. It also doesn't keep him in control-which make no mistake, he certainly is, even as he bites his tongue and sucks up. It works out exactly how he'd explained it to Inej earlier. Menial tasks, grunt work, taking orders direct from Haskell instead of having the freedom to cook up his own schemes.
It won't stop him from thinking of them, but he knows the old man won't hear a single thing until he decides to forgive.
After, he finds Inej on the roof and gives her a curt go ahead, letting her know it was clear enough she could probably be alright if she wanted to wander downstairs.
That's about all he sees of her for two days straight. Haskell makes good on his promise to keep him busy enough to drop, some older Dregs occasionally stopping by to rub it in his face. Which never lasts long, a good long stare sending them scurrying off.
As for Inej, she seems to be working on making herself as invisible as possible to him. He can always tell when she's around, that prickling feeling settling between his shoulder blades. But they're ships passing in the night; her leaving a room as he comes into it and vice versa. He can tell she's doing it on purpose and it's just as annoying as her injured feelings at the waffle stand.
He's thinking it can't last much longer as he sits down to lunch with Jesper—they have too much ground to cover still. She needs to learn to use a knife, so she could start joining the Dregs in the street fights. And so she can defend herself without him being nearby. But she's insistent on being a ghost, a wraith, and trying to catch her is a bit like trying to hold water. ]
[ the first thing she does when she gets back to the slat is actually not go to the roof, but to sneak to the kitchens. she isn't sure why she does it immediately, but something in her decides enough is enough.
if she was going to survive, she needed to do things on her own. remaining in kaz's shadow (however apt it was) was not going to do any good. if people were going to take her seriously (like haskell, or anyone else in this dark building), then they needed to know that inej was just as capable of acting on her own as anyone else.
cornering the cook had been relatively easy. kaz brekker's reputation is much scarier than her own, and as inej is already known as "the weird girl who follows dirtyhands around," she sees no issue in using that to her advantage. so it takes only a handful of moments for the kitchen staff to agree to help her, and it only costs her a promise of covering no more than three shifts in the future if they need her.
after that, she made it to the roof before kaz had found her. her instruction that she could go downstairs if she wants is taken silently, and inej slips off the roof to steal silently to her room, sliding through the slim window to land on her cot. and she remained there for the rest of the evening, until the early hours of the morning, when she waited until she heard kaz go to bed (or, at the very least, lay down).
the next two hours were among the most painful that she had experienced in a long time. the cook had given her a sling of whiskey and a piece of leather to bite down on, which inej appreciated. the cook had advised that she look away, but inej kept her eyes fixated on her arm during the whole process. every single cut into her skin just felt empowering. and though the pain was excruciating, inej had bitten into the leather and not made a sound, less she wake up or alert anyone else on the lower floor of the slat. by the end of it, her arm mangled and bloody, inej had simply told the cook thank you, wrapping the wound in bandages on her own.
he had told her not to worry about covering the shifts.
she had mostly remained in her room the day after, to recover, before doing odd jobs around the slat. purposefully rising early in the morning, to earn spare money on the side, while also avoiding kaz. after a solid day of cleaning dishes and cutting food, the cook seems to take pity on her, and gives her some extra money. more than enough to buy herself some boots that fit, with room for two waffles.
so when kaz and jesper eat lunch, inej enters the hall carrying, quite possibly, the most ridiculously overloaded waffle in existence. and she sits down in front of kaz without a word, sliding a few kruge across the table to sit in front of him, before she rolls up her sleeves to tuck into her pile of whipped cream, chocolate, and strawberries.
it tastes absolutely heavenly. the best thing she has eaten in years. it's enough to almost bring tears to her eyes, if she were that type of person. but the ache in her arm is enough to keep her focused on the task at hand, and so she cuts into the waffle with great purpose. ]
[ Jesper is partway through explaining how a game of Three Man Bramble went down at the club last night, hands animated and only taking a pause to eat, when Inej plops herself down across from them both. The story interrupts immediately as Jes greets her, laughing as he takes in the stack of waffles in front of her.
Kaz only has to stare for a moment, flummoxed by her paying him back. Literally and figuratively. And then he's annoyed again, as he pockets the kruge. She didn't need to go out of her way. After all, she could've have the damn waffles with the cream and everything two days ago if she'd just gotten over her soft feelings.
Which brings him to another point: they have ground to cover. ]
How soon can you use that arm again?
[ He's not going to ask how it feels, because he imagines it's painful. That stinging sensation of a fresh wound. She'll recover but they can't wait till it's completely healed up. It works out, since she'll need to learn to use her other arm anyway. ]
[ she doesn't answer kaz immediately, instead methodically devouring her waffles. intent on cleaning her plate, and while she doesn't eat ravenously, she eats with great purpose.
it takes about five minutes to complete the stack of waffles, carefully scraping the cream off of her plate to lick the fork. and right when she seems to consider answering kaz's question, she reaches for her cup, to drink her water.
jesper fills the silence with a bit of a laugh and collects his plate up, commenting that he's late for his shift. inej glances in his direction, expression dubious; she knows full well he has no shift, but says nothing about it as he pats her shoulder on the way past, offering a slight salute in kaz's direction to say bye.
the touch causes her shoulders to stiffen slightly, but inej shoves down the momentary feeling of anxiety to refocus on what was asked of her. ]
The Black Tips are planning an expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ as she sets down her cup, levelling her gaze toward his, expression neutral. a trip to the lid had proven useful, in getting the kitchen what they needed for supplies for extra money, and also in eavesdropping with some loud drunkard who elected to take on liquor at three in the afternoon.
she had had to scale a few market stands to stay hidden, but it had been worth it. tomatoes purchased, not harassed by a rival gang, and information (with a grain of salt) gathered. her arm is aching, but she ignores it. her (admittedly petty and stupid) point has been made. ]
[ Instead of answering, she continues to tuck in to her pile of waffles. He watches, a bit sour over the silence, as the food disappears with a certain methodical relish. Jesper attempts to break the tension, as he usually does, and then decides to depart, making up some excuse to not be between the two of them any longer.
He takes off with a lazy salute and a pat to Inej's shoulder. Kaz catches her flinch and feels a modicum less annoyance. ]
The Black Tips are always planning expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ Them and the Razorgulls. Pekka's Dime Lions haven't encroached in lately, though. He's probably biding his time. ]
Geels' brains could fit in a matchbox. [ Suffice to say, he isn't worried. Though she's given him a few things just now: that she's capable of climbing and listening even with her arm the way it is, the Black Tips are planning something, and that it'll probably be soon.
They aren't known for playing the long game. None of their higher ups have the patience. ]
[ it's said without hesitation, as she finishes off the water in her cup, setting the glass down on the table once she's done. she fixes him with a long stare, scanning his features for a moment. ]
If I fail, so do you.
[ the words are said simply, as she settles back into her seat, delicately rolling down her sleeves. mindful, as always, to keep her wrist turned inward, so he cannot see the words written there. ]
Haskell might find you useful, but your hands don't make enough money to pay off what I owe. You are just as bound to my debt as I am. So I know that you are not going to harm me or send me back to the Menagerie, because doing that would mean you failed. And I imagine Haskell doesn't appreciate failure.
[ she shrugs her thin shoulders, fixing him with a frown. ]
I have no intention of failing. Or risking your head to save mine. I won't stab you in the back. And I won't abandon my debt, or sell what I can offer to the highest bidder. Because, like it or not, we have to be a team in order to survive.
[ inej pauses, there. it's very clear that she has thought about saying this extensively for the last two days. it's also very clear that she's not comfortable speaking this much. but her brow furrows slightly, before glancing at her empty plate. ]
I will be ready at eight bells tomorrow morning, if you can drag yourself from your bed to teach me how to remove your tongue.
[ Almost painfully so. He'd gone out on a limb, a hunch, that having her in the Dregs would pay off. The Dime Lions may have the best spider in the Barrel, but he doesn't think he'll have that title for much longer. Not when Inej finally hits her stride.
It's another long game, something he knows Haskell has little patience for. He wants results, wants the payoff, even if he's not willing to put the work in. Which is why he sends Kaz off to do it for him.
So while Haskell certainly doesn't appreciate failure, he has some confidence that he'll survive a resulting storm should this fall through. It would be an uncomfortable position, though, and set him back on his plans. ]
I won't send you back, but that isn't my decision. I'm capable of weathering Haskell—I've made that old man enough money.
[ And made sure the Slat wasn't falling down around their ears. The boss would be hard pressed to find someone to replace him, at this point, even if he occasionally wants to. ]
I told you the Barrel wouldn't be kind. Flouncing off for two days because your feelings are hurt isn't going to cut it. You're going to hear that and worse, much worse, and it's either survive or don't.
[ She may have dealt with one monster, but the Barrel is full of them, in every shape and size. ]
So don't come preaching to me about teamwork; I can survive a failure, you're not in a position to.
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no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 01:31 am (UTC)[ Specifically to Jesper. He doesn't know the story but he has a feeling it has to do with family. An heirloom or something. It occasionally makes him wish he had something from his family.
But then, it wouldn't do to have something so prized, so easily snatched. ]
The brass fits over your fingers as interconnected rings. And the tops will have reinforced metal.
[ But, that might prove a challenge: ]
Your hands are probably too small for anything other than a custom fit.
[ Those rings are usually pretty wide, it wouldn't be comfortable to wear. Or be effective. ]
Knives are more easily hidden and wielded.
[ He casts a sidelong glance at her as they pass under a lantern, scrutinizing and seeming to be satisfied after a moment. Yes, knives will do nicely for a spider. She's quick enough and it won't be difficult to jab under someone's guard. ]
I'll have you try a pocket knife, tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 03:09 am (UTC)You are going to give me a knife.
[ almost a little incredulously, as inej steps over a small pothole in the street, the motion smooth and effortless as she continues to walk. she's beginning to learn the different streets. ]
I just threatened your boss' tongue, and you want to give me something sharp?
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 04:28 am (UTC)[ Any of the Dregs could probably stick Per Haskell if they tried hard enough. ]
But neither of us will. [ Most likely, anyway. At least for him: not yet. Maybe one day, if the time comes up and it fits into his plans. And if Haskell gets in his way.
For Inej, he has doubts that she'll stab Haskell or try and take his tongue out. It would have her sent back to Heleen so fast if she didn't manage to kill him.
And then her choices would go back to Heleen or the harbor. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 03:51 pm (UTC)what he says next is also true - neither of them will. kaz, because . . . well, inej isn't entirely sure why. and inej, because she really has no choice but to play the game until she proves herself useful.
so she shrugs her thin shoulders, burying her hands a bit deeper into the pockets of her coat. ]
Knives it is, then.
[ what she's expected to do with them, inej has no idea. defend herself, he had said. she can't say that the thought of being able to do so with a bit more than her fists isn't appealing. or that removing the hands of anyone who attempted to touch her without her permission didn't tug a bit of interest at the back of her mind.
she lets herself fall into silence, at that, letting her mind wander. which typically is a bad thing, she's found, as of late. in the menagerie, it had been about survival. and in the dregs, it was much the same. but with no one forcing her to work as frequently as she was able, she had time to think. but instead of focusing on the bad memories, inej's mind drifts to the boy walking next to her. idly considering the words on her wrist. ]
Is this your favorite waffle stand?
[ she asks, glancing toward him, a little curious. and maybe seeking information from him that isn't necessarily related to money or murder. hard to come by, in the barrel. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 04:17 pm (UTC)They lapse into silence after she agrees and he starts thinking about what she'll need to know in the upcoming days. Where to hide one, how to easily take it out if needed, keeping them clean and sharp. How to disable versus how to kill. Though how she'll react to actually killing someone is—well, he sympathizes with that future moment. It's a shock. ]
No, there's one in the Lid. [ But it's out of the way and a long walk. He doesn't usually end up over there, most schemes being involved in the Barrel or fleecing rich merchers in their own territory. ]
Next door is a bakery Jesper swears by.
[ He's not sure why he's telling her this, but it seems innocuous enough. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 04:56 pm (UTC)Ravka doesn't have waffles.
[ after a moment, tone a little thoughtful as she takes note of the nearing dress shop, with frilly petticoats inside the windows. the waffle stand is nearby; the one kaz and jesper had taken her to last week, in insistence that living in kerch and not having a waffle was sacrilegious.
inej doubts very much that the saints gave half a damn about waffles, but she didn't want to ruin their excitement at sharing it with her. even kaz had been in a good mood, or what passed as a good mood for him. annoyingly, the boys had been right - waffles were pretty delicious, though inej was certain the saints would take them or leave them. ]
I haven't found any food that tastes like home, yet.
[ she supposes there are ravkan restaurants or stands around here somewhere, but inej hasn't bothered to track them down. tasting home would just make the ache worse. or maybe a little better. she wishes she could have blini for breakfast, but she supposes a waffle will do. ]
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Date: 2021-01-01 09:19 pm (UTC)[ There's likely something similar, right? Jesper had told him about these griddle cakes they had in Zemeni. They were flatter than the ones he's heard about, nearly paper thin and stuffed with fruit and cream.
Hearing about it had made him nostalgic for his father's apple tarts. Despite Ketterdam having a bevy of dessert shops and bakeries, he still hasn't found any that replicated that same tart.
So maybe he understands Inej, just a little. Even if he doesn't count Lij as home. ]
Little Ravka will have it. Out by the Ravkan embassy, in the Zelvar district.
[ There's a cluster of embassies, just catacorner from the Church of Barter. He almost never needs to go over there; stadwatch tends to be more vigilant in those areas. ]
Remember the Church from last week? Close to there. You can see the government flags flying.
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Date: 2021-01-02 12:22 am (UTC)[ the ravkan word slides off her tongue much easier and naturally than kerch. but she doesn't really know how to explain what blini is, without describing it in ravkan or suli. ]
It has more fruit and cream, than your waffles.
[ at least, the waffles that kaz orders. he tends to pick less sweet toppings, much to her disgruntlement. she tends to just order whatever he does to make the process easier. learning how to read kerch is still a work in progress. ]
My people eat different foods, I doubt I'll find it here. [ her mother's cooking has been a painful absence, the warm aroma of sweet cakes that used to wake her up at early hours of the morning. ] But I will look in the Ravkan sector for blini.
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Date: 2021-01-02 01:46 am (UTC)[ So she may very well find something Suli near the embassy. He can't imagine the Suli were too keen to stay in the war zones, especially not when there were grisha involved.
Then again, Ravka is a big country, they might've been able to travel around certain spots and avoid most of it. Something like that wouldn't be possible in Kerch; it's why their navy is as strong as it is, preventing landfall should the Tidemakers fail to prevent an invasion.
No one's attempted anything in a long time, though. Whether it was because they didn't want to tangle with the Kerch, who also controlled a large portion of trade, or they simply had no interest in expanding borders. Though, the only two it would make sense for would be Ravka or Shu Han, whose land percentage already tripled—at the very least—that of Kerch's. Ravka also didn't have the infrastructure to keep itself together, let alone attempt to annex a neighbor. And Shu Han, well, they tended to keep to themselves. ]
We can pay a visit in a few days. [ Tomorrow will be too busy, after spending time teaching her. But he knows he has something approximating a day off coming up, if Haskell doesn't decide to revoke it out of displeasure. ]
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Date: 2021-01-02 04:12 pm (UTC)no one seemed to notice when inej was kidnapped, after all. the ravkan government hardly demanded anything of the kerch and their illegal slave trade, when suli girls go missing.
but inej keeps that to herself, instead focusing on the offer to go with her to the ravkan sector of town. she nearly takes him up on it, but something in her balks at having kaz with her. not because of any particular reason, but the irrational thought that she may find someone who recognizes her. like that man who visited the menagerie, who had been to one of her performances. and then raped her anyway.
it's a silly thought. the odds are astronomical. but there's definitely a slight pause before she says: ]
There is no real rush.
[ it's an agreement, but not an insistent one.
after all, finding little cakes would hardly erase her debt. ]
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Date: 2021-01-02 07:55 pm (UTC)The Menagerie's clients, though. They could be anywhere. He doubts she's forgotten any of their faces, just like he'd etched Rollins into his memory.
As they round the corner to the waffle shop, she answers and he doesn't question it. The Ravkan quarter will still be there if she decides she wants to change her mind. ]
Going to be more adventurous today?
[ She'd gotten the same thing he did here, last time. Even though both he and Jesper offered to translate the choices. ]
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Date: 2021-01-02 09:14 pm (UTC)all the same, inej picks up the menu. while speaking kerch is relatively fine (though there are moments where inej needs half a moment to parse through what's been said to her), reading it is still a work in progress. and while she scans it over, plucking out familiar words, her eyes catch sight of someone else's waffle order, topped high with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate, and caramel.
it is, in no way, healthy. or even a proper choice for dinner. but inej can't remember the last time she had chocolate. ]
That.
[ she says definitively, watching the boy carefully carry his treasure to a nearby seat, where his mother (in much exasperation) is waiting. ]
That is what I want.
[ she has never sounded more serious. ]
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Date: 2021-01-03 02:13 am (UTC)So, if she never learns to read it, he doesn't care really. But she seems determined to, bit by bit.
Her head comes up from the ink on paper, gaze clearly watching someone as they make their way from the end of the counter. Kaz follows her line of sight, strangely amused by her wanting the most ridiculous (and sweet) thing on the menu. But she doesn't appear to be joking. So a waffle piled high with cream, chocolate, caramel, and strawberries is what she'll get.
As for him, he tends to get the same thing, no frills. He orders for them both and pays and while they wait: ]
Sweet tooth?
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Date: 2021-01-03 02:19 am (UTC)[ she responds easily, putting the menu back on the counter before casting a meaningful look at the undecorated waffle currently being prepared behind the counter.
and, just in case kaz decides to have another smart remark, her eyes flicker up toward him, arching her eyebrows slightly. ]
Do you find salt spicy?
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Date: 2021-01-03 02:41 am (UTC)On the other hand, he doesn't want to add to her traumatic experiences. Not to mention: there's something oddly refreshing about it. ]
No, I don't like sweets.
[ Too much hot chocolate and quince candy reminds him of Jordie, when they hadn't known any better. Or long hours spent learning to shuffle cards, savoring the occasional cocoa the barman had given out of pity. A shadow passes over his face then, there and gone, before he shakes himself out of it. ]
If your teeth fall out from overindulgence, that's your prerogative.
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Date: 2021-01-03 02:51 am (UTC)the comment catches her off guard. not because she takes it personally, but the word overindulgence causes her spine to stiffen. it's absurdly silly, to take offense at such an offhanded insult, but her feelings sting at the remark.
overindulgence. as if she's indulged in anything since coming here. she can't remember the last time she had chocolate. or anything sweet, really, unable to afford it, and it wasn't as if heleen went out of her way to treat her. some girls earned pleasantries, but not inej, who was frequently a problem and was subject to beatings more than anything else.
so as she watches the waffle maker about to decorate her own waffle, she clears her throat, and gestures with a flick of her fingers that it's not needed. she could just have it with syrup. the waffle maker seems to understand what she means without saying anything, and shrugs, serving the food as is.
it's stupid and childish to feel self-conscious over a treat, but now she no longer wants to eat it. ]
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Date: 2021-01-03 03:20 am (UTC)No, this is tension, the kind that goes hand in hand with a sinking stomach. At first he thinks maybe she's seen Heleen or someone she recognizes, a patron of the Menagerie. But no, that isn't it.
It was his own damn comment.
Part of him sneers. Serves her right for trying to talk back. The other part just feels anxious, like he's stepped too far and burnt a bridge. And Kaz Brekker had long ago purged I'm sorry from his vocabulary. So he says nothing, letting the now uncomfortable silence drape over them both.
When the waffles finish, carefully wrapped in waxed paper, he hands hers over, noting the lack of toppings. Hm. ]
Eat on the roof when we get back and stay clear until I come get you. Haskell will take some time to see reason.
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Date: 2021-01-03 03:35 am (UTC)she had mouthed off, but she had done so since arriving here. what was the difference now? they were in public? but no, it wasn’t the push back that bothered her, but the comment itself.
letting it bother her was pointless. being upset over a stupid comment was only going to get her killed faster. if she was going to survive, she needed to be tougher than that.
as they leave, her eyes catch the boy with the waffle she had wanted, the treat now long since gone. it had looked delicious, too. ][
The roof.
[ finally, her tone level in agreement, as she slows her steps, at an alleyway jutting off from the street. and just as the word leaves her lips, she’s gone from sight, already melting into the shadows to take the quick way to the slat. ]
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Date: 2021-01-03 04:26 am (UTC)Then he's moving on, because he has other things to do. Things that don't involve coddling her small feelings about waffles.
(Of course, he's never been good at letting anything go, so he's in a right mood when he arrives at the Slat).
He eats his dinner in the dining hall, tucked in a corner, as he considers his words for Haskell. His annoyance bleeds into his thoughts and countenance as usual and the Dregs steer well clear of him. Composure back in place, he walks straight into Haskell's office, who gestures for him to close the door.
And they certainly have it out. There's no shouting, not on his part at least, because meeting Per Haskell's tone gets him exactly nowhere. It also doesn't keep him in control-which make no mistake, he certainly is, even as he bites his tongue and sucks up. It works out exactly how he'd explained it to Inej earlier. Menial tasks, grunt work, taking orders direct from Haskell instead of having the freedom to cook up his own schemes.
It won't stop him from thinking of them, but he knows the old man won't hear a single thing until he decides to forgive.
After, he finds Inej on the roof and gives her a curt go ahead, letting her know it was clear enough she could probably be alright if she wanted to wander downstairs.
That's about all he sees of her for two days straight. Haskell makes good on his promise to keep him busy enough to drop, some older Dregs occasionally stopping by to rub it in his face. Which never lasts long, a good long stare sending them scurrying off.
As for Inej, she seems to be working on making herself as invisible as possible to him. He can always tell when she's around, that prickling feeling settling between his shoulder blades. But they're ships passing in the night; her leaving a room as he comes into it and vice versa. He can tell she's doing it on purpose and it's just as annoying as her injured feelings at the waffle stand.
He's thinking it can't last much longer as he sits down to lunch with Jesper—they have too much ground to cover still. She needs to learn to use a knife, so she could start joining the Dregs in the street fights. And so she can defend herself without him being nearby. But she's insistent on being a ghost, a wraith, and trying to catch her is a bit like trying to hold water. ]
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Date: 2021-01-03 02:43 pm (UTC)if she was going to survive, she needed to do things on her own. remaining in kaz's shadow (however apt it was) was not going to do any good. if people were going to take her seriously (like haskell, or anyone else in this dark building), then they needed to know that inej was just as capable of acting on her own as anyone else.
cornering the cook had been relatively easy. kaz brekker's reputation is much scarier than her own, and as inej is already known as "the weird girl who follows dirtyhands around," she sees no issue in using that to her advantage. so it takes only a handful of moments for the kitchen staff to agree to help her, and it only costs her a promise of covering no more than three shifts in the future if they need her.
after that, she made it to the roof before kaz had found her. her instruction that she could go downstairs if she wants is taken silently, and inej slips off the roof to steal silently to her room, sliding through the slim window to land on her cot. and she remained there for the rest of the evening, until the early hours of the morning, when she waited until she heard kaz go to bed (or, at the very least, lay down).
the next two hours were among the most painful that she had experienced in a long time. the cook had given her a sling of whiskey and a piece of leather to bite down on, which inej appreciated. the cook had advised that she look away, but inej kept her eyes fixated on her arm during the whole process. every single cut into her skin just felt empowering. and though the pain was excruciating, inej had bitten into the leather and not made a sound, less she wake up or alert anyone else on the lower floor of the slat. by the end of it, her arm mangled and bloody, inej had simply told the cook thank you, wrapping the wound in bandages on her own.
he had told her not to worry about covering the shifts.
she had mostly remained in her room the day after, to recover, before doing odd jobs around the slat. purposefully rising early in the morning, to earn spare money on the side, while also avoiding kaz. after a solid day of cleaning dishes and cutting food, the cook seems to take pity on her, and gives her some extra money. more than enough to buy herself some boots that fit, with room for two waffles.
so when kaz and jesper eat lunch, inej enters the hall carrying, quite possibly, the most ridiculously overloaded waffle in existence. and she sits down in front of kaz without a word, sliding a few kruge across the table to sit in front of him, before she rolls up her sleeves to tuck into her pile of whipped cream, chocolate, and strawberries.
it tastes absolutely heavenly. the best thing she has eaten in years. it's enough to almost bring tears to her eyes, if she were that type of person. but the ache in her arm is enough to keep her focused on the task at hand, and so she cuts into the waffle with great purpose. ]
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Date: 2021-01-04 01:47 am (UTC)Kaz only has to stare for a moment, flummoxed by her paying him back. Literally and figuratively. And then he's annoyed again, as he pockets the kruge. She didn't need to go out of her way. After all, she could've have the damn waffles with the cream and everything two days ago if she'd just gotten over her soft feelings.
Which brings him to another point: they have ground to cover. ]
How soon can you use that arm again?
[ He's not going to ask how it feels, because he imagines it's painful. That stinging sensation of a fresh wound. She'll recover but they can't wait till it's completely healed up. It works out, since she'll need to learn to use her other arm anyway. ]
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Date: 2021-01-04 02:12 am (UTC)it takes about five minutes to complete the stack of waffles, carefully scraping the cream off of her plate to lick the fork. and right when she seems to consider answering kaz's question, she reaches for her cup, to drink her water.
jesper fills the silence with a bit of a laugh and collects his plate up, commenting that he's late for his shift. inej glances in his direction, expression dubious; she knows full well he has no shift, but says nothing about it as he pats her shoulder on the way past, offering a slight salute in kaz's direction to say bye.
the touch causes her shoulders to stiffen slightly, but inej shoves down the momentary feeling of anxiety to refocus on what was asked of her. ]
The Black Tips are planning an expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ as she sets down her cup, levelling her gaze toward his, expression neutral. a trip to the lid had proven useful, in getting the kitchen what they needed for supplies for extra money, and also in eavesdropping with some loud drunkard who elected to take on liquor at three in the afternoon.
she had had to scale a few market stands to stay hidden, but it had been worth it. tomatoes purchased, not harassed by a rival gang, and information (with a grain of salt) gathered. her arm is aching, but she ignores it. her (admittedly petty and stupid) point has been made. ]
Or so says their neighborhood drunk.
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Date: 2021-01-05 02:27 pm (UTC)He takes off with a lazy salute and a pat to Inej's shoulder. Kaz catches her flinch and feels a modicum less annoyance. ]
The Black Tips are always planning expansion into Fifth Harbor.
[ Them and the Razorgulls. Pekka's Dime Lions haven't encroached in lately, though. He's probably biding his time. ]
Geels' brains could fit in a matchbox. [ Suffice to say, he isn't worried. Though she's given him a few things just now: that she's capable of climbing and listening even with her arm the way it is, the Black Tips are planning something, and that it'll probably be soon.
They aren't known for playing the long game. None of their higher ups have the patience. ]
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Date: 2021-01-05 05:11 pm (UTC)[ it's said without hesitation, as she finishes off the water in her cup, setting the glass down on the table once she's done. she fixes him with a long stare, scanning his features for a moment. ]
If I fail, so do you.
[ the words are said simply, as she settles back into her seat, delicately rolling down her sleeves. mindful, as always, to keep her wrist turned inward, so he cannot see the words written there. ]
Haskell might find you useful, but your hands don't make enough money to pay off what I owe. You are just as bound to my debt as I am. So I know that you are not going to harm me or send me back to the Menagerie, because doing that would mean you failed. And I imagine Haskell doesn't appreciate failure.
[ she shrugs her thin shoulders, fixing him with a frown. ]
I have no intention of failing. Or risking your head to save mine. I won't stab you in the back. And I won't abandon my debt, or sell what I can offer to the highest bidder. Because, like it or not, we have to be a team in order to survive.
[ inej pauses, there. it's very clear that she has thought about saying this extensively for the last two days. it's also very clear that she's not comfortable speaking this much. but her brow furrows slightly, before glancing at her empty plate. ]
I will be ready at eight bells tomorrow morning, if you can drag yourself from your bed to teach me how to remove your tongue.
[ it's about half a joke. ]
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Date: 2021-01-05 05:47 pm (UTC)[ Almost painfully so. He'd gone out on a limb, a hunch, that having her in the Dregs would pay off. The Dime Lions may have the best spider in the Barrel, but he doesn't think he'll have that title for much longer. Not when Inej finally hits her stride.
It's another long game, something he knows Haskell has little patience for. He wants results, wants the payoff, even if he's not willing to put the work in. Which is why he sends Kaz off to do it for him.
So while Haskell certainly doesn't appreciate failure, he has some confidence that he'll survive a resulting storm should this fall through. It would be an uncomfortable position, though, and set him back on his plans. ]
I won't send you back, but that isn't my decision. I'm capable of weathering Haskell—I've made that old man enough money.
[ And made sure the Slat wasn't falling down around their ears. The boss would be hard pressed to find someone to replace him, at this point, even if he occasionally wants to. ]
I told you the Barrel wouldn't be kind. Flouncing off for two days because your feelings are hurt isn't going to cut it. You're going to hear that and worse, much worse, and it's either survive or don't.
[ She may have dealt with one monster, but the Barrel is full of them, in every shape and size. ]
So don't come preaching to me about teamwork; I can survive a failure, you're not in a position to.
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